Sexy Politician Stalking Her Opponent and Having Guys Throw Themselves At His Car

by Jack Stuef

Last time we heard from the “sexy politician,” as she is known in respectable newspapers, Macomb County Commissioner Carey Torrice was just being hot on the Internet. Now our girl is in trouble! She and her husband have been following her primary opponent around and even going through the dude’s garbage. Now there’s an investigation “following a mysterious accident in which an acquaintance and fellow private investigator appeared to hurl himself at an SUV driven by Jeffery Sprys,” her opponent. And then it was found they were carrying an unregistered handgun.

Meanwhile, Sprys is not super excited to be allegedly STALKED by a SUPER-SEXY HOT LADY. What is your problem, dude? It’s every guy’s fantasy to be stalked by a sexy politician. “I’m extremely concerned about the safety of my wife and my 2-month-old daughter,” he said. That’s not a very manly thing to say. Neither is this: “This is just an election. This is crazy.” Spoken like a true loser.

But what about this mysterious fire?

During a civil trial in December, a jury ruled the Torrices likely committed fraud in collecting $36,000 in an insurance claim involving a fire at a house they owned.

It’s not her fault! The house caught on fire because she’s TOO HOT. [Detroit Free Press]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 42 comments }

actor212 July 2, 2010 at 1:46 pm

If I was running in a primary against her, I’d totally let her top me.

I mean, beat me.

I mean, win the erect– ELEction.

harry palmer July 2, 2010 at 1:48 pm

Hey, the $36 grand paid for her tits. At least she isn’t milking the taxpayers.

ArugulaTeleprompterz July 2, 2010 at 1:50 pm

Her website is a horror show. It includes photo galleries of her cats, and pictures of her as an “official hottie” in “Hottiefest.” Presidnet Camacho would be proud.

Jim89048 July 2, 2010 at 1:50 pm

I’d stalk that.

JMP July 2, 2010 at 1:51 pm

Well, of course this election is getting brutal, I mean the position of county commissioner comes with the power to do, um, something I’m sure; there’s gotta be some relevance to them anyway, it’s not like counties are arbitrary, meaningless relics.

Oh, and thanks for linking to Jim’s old post with all the sexy cleavage and leg shots.

Jim89048 July 2, 2010 at 1:55 pm

[re=611065]JMP[/re]: Hey, Rory2010 is a county commisioner!

Terry July 2, 2010 at 1:56 pm

I keep noticing that when the Wonkette guys label a female politician as hot that she’s got those crazy eyes. What is it with guys’ attraction to crazy women? The potential danger?

edgydrifter July 2, 2010 at 1:57 pm

Dumb, blond, southern AND has a closet full of sexy cop/nurse/soldier outfits? You know there’s a “regrettable and very private” tape out there somewhere. Seek, people–it must be found!

edgydrifter July 2, 2010 at 2:00 pm

Oh, wrong Macomb. OK, scratch “southern” from my list but the rest still applies.

freakishlystrong July 2, 2010 at 2:03 pm

Isn’t being a hawt politician kind of an oxymoran?

harry palmer July 2, 2010 at 2:03 pm

[re=611065]JMP[/re]: “the position of county commissioner comes with the power to do, um, something I’m sure”

In Chicago, the job of Cook County commissioner (actually Chairman of the county board) was the source of all the older Mayor Daley’s power back in the day, because of the patronage and appointments etc. He had big tits too, but I think his were natural.

V572625694 July 2, 2010 at 2:06 pm

Oh, [re=611075]Terry[/re], you didn’t know this old (but true!) meme? It’s axiomatic that crazy ladies are the most awesome-est sexual partners.

harry palmer July 2, 2010 at 2:08 pm

[re=611075]Terry[/re]: “What is it with guys’ attraction to crazy women?”

Cause they fuck like they’re writhing live wires.

Lascauxcaveman July 2, 2010 at 2:19 pm

Someone direct me to the Macomb local paper’s website message board, I want to do some stupid trolling on behalf of crazy-eyes:

IF HES NOT MAN ENOUGHT TO HANDEL A LITTLE STALKING HOW IS HE GOING TO BE MAN ENOUGH TO PROTECT US FROM THE RUSSIANS!!?!?!?! HOW WILL HE STAND UP TO THE TERROISTS!!!!9!11!????

FormerDCite July 2, 2010 at 2:23 pm

I think I saw this movie once, was it “Legally Blonde?” No maybe it was “Obsessed”, or maybe it was “Barely Legal 281″.

Neilist July 2, 2010 at 2:31 pm

Jack, Jack, Jack.

What KIND of “unregistered handguns.”

We Wonkies want the DETAILS!!!!

[I'll have the rest of you Liberal Scum the trouble: The collective pronoun was used editorially; royally; or because I have a tapeworm.]

Extemporanus July 2, 2010 at 2:38 pm

Oh no, does this mean that she’s no longer gonna be playing “Calleigh” on CSI: Miami?

That Ray-Ban-fapping ginger motherfucker has some goddamn explaining to do! I fucking loved that chick!

Extemporanus July 2, 2010 at 2:40 pm

[re=611120]Neilist[/re]: Here ya go, big boy — you tell us.

NYNYNY July 2, 2010 at 2:56 pm

I would love it if she always went around in the sexy policewoman outfit, with the fake gun and flashlight. To all the meetings and such. I never know what these county commissioners do. What do they do?

proudgrampa July 2, 2010 at 3:01 pm

Blondes are definitely the nuttiest people on the planet.

Cant Buy a Thrill July 2, 2010 at 3:05 pm

[re=611060]harry palmer[/re]: your comment is udderly ridiculous

Cant Buy a Thrill July 2, 2010 at 3:09 pm

for my money Bella Abzug will always be the hottest politician

Wonderman July 2, 2010 at 3:26 pm

Excuse me? Someone said there were tits here?

MarieDeGournay July 2, 2010 at 3:29 pm

Man, her pimp needs to start keeping her in line.

comicbookguy July 2, 2010 at 3:33 pm

I like that show Parks and Recreation

Crazybroad July 2, 2010 at 3:39 pm

Michigan: once again making the rest of the corrupt, crazy, lazy, and drunken politicians elsewhere look like a bunch of amateurs. WEEPING EAGLE, WEEPING EAGLE!!

snideinplainsight July 2, 2010 at 3:41 pm

Too much acai berry tea.

Cmoney July 2, 2010 at 3:55 pm

Wonderman: On her website see “Fun stuff photo gallery”, and boob job.

NYNYNY July 2, 2010 at 4:17 pm

[re=611211]Cmoney[/re]: Her website is fun. She literally describes herself as “actress-private investigator” AT THE TOP OF HER WEBSITE. and “also a foot model.” I love the pic from the halloween costume contest where she won 2nd prize for her child-whore costume.

chascates July 2, 2010 at 4:20 pm

Tonya Harding meets Michele Bachmann

Neilist July 2, 2010 at 4:21 pm

[re=611130]Extemporanus[/re]:

The Bitch’s looks like a 1911A1 clone. If I had to say, I’d go for one of the Kimber series, maybe the Pro II.

He’s using a SIG P229 — which I still think is an overpriced, overly complicated, and relatively underpower (in 9mm) piece, regardless of the fact that the Secret Service adopted it.

Dashboard_Buddha July 2, 2010 at 4:40 pm

[re=611089]V572625694[/re]: Sexy, smart, sane…pick two.

natoslug July 2, 2010 at 7:17 pm

[re=611259]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: She’s more scary than sexy (but then again, I prefer breasts that give gravity a fighting chance rather than the perfectly round silicone jello cups she sports). I think she missed the mark on all three.

Cmoney July 3, 2010 at 12:27 am

[re=611231]NYNYNY[/re]: “child-whore”! I might need me a private eye some day, who knows. Bookmarked!

XOhioan July 3, 2010 at 12:23 pm

Ewww…look at her foot modeling pics: http://www.careytorrice.com/gallery_category.php?cat_id=9#359

WalkinwiththeKing July 3, 2010 at 5:02 pm

She has a je ne sais quoi trailertrashwannabepornstar quality that makes a fella’s heart,well, just wanna melt.

Surfeit O'Hubris July 3, 2010 at 6:45 pm

[re=611120]Neilist[/re]: Funny, MY tapeworm has never expressed the least interest in handguns.

Not that I’m complaining, mind you.

GreenHalo July 4, 2010 at 10:19 am

[re=611240]Neilist[/re]: Yeah, and they both have their FUCKING fingers inside the FUCKING trigger guards. If they didn’t open fire two or three frames after this screen cap, they are pogues, they are dangerous idiots, and those two assholes should be beaten with extension cords until they learn to love the Lord.

Oh, wait, it’s CSI: Cyberpunk P.D. They’re probably experimental laser guns, and the during the inquest, forensics guys will identify which lasers caused which wounds by shining a UV light on the perp’s corpse and doing a ballistics match on the weapons’ unique wavelength emissions as extrapolated from the characteristic intracellular trauma on various organelles. (Bronx cheer)

martiani July 5, 2010 at 7:22 am

Foot modeling rockets her into a whole new realm…foot fetishists, in my experience, are special-level creepy. Elevating this device essential to ambulation, and which is also REALLY FUCKING UGLY ON MOST PEOPLE, to a crucial height in one’s mind, is alaming.

Tundra Grifter July 6, 2010 at 10:29 am

[re=611062]ArugulaTeleprompterz[/re]: Personally, it was the “Little Bo Peep” photo that got me – chubby pins and all…

thefrontpage July 6, 2010 at 12:36 pm

What a bunch of idiots!

WalkinwiththeKing July 10, 2010 at 6:28 pm

[re=612248]thefrontpage[/re]: Idiots yes. I just hope we are uesful.

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