The race for who will rule the captured souls of the White House Correspondents’ Association has begun, and it is almost exactly like regular politics. Ballots aren’t due until July 15, but WHCA reporters are whispering these actual things to each other, at work, right now: “My expectation was that I would be running unopposed” and “The basic issue for me is access” and “I’m charming.”
There are three seats on the WHCA board of directors up for grabs, and two — the “TV seat” and the “magazine seat” — are uncontested. And because White House press briefings are now available to anyone with cable or a computer, the actual importance of the White House Correspondents’ Association has dropped to zero. If not for the tawdry spectacle of the annual celebrity-guest formal dinner and the vicious battle over Helen Thomas’ vacated Hitler Seat, the group would be as obscure as any fading trade association.
In other words, “Carol Lee’s Politico colleague Kendra Marr built her campaign a Facebook page.” These are the platforms of some other candidates:
- If elected, Bloomberg’s Hans Nichols promises to address the “injustice of White House correspondents’ dinner seating arrangements, the need for ‘newsy’ background meetings and early-morning gaggles, the disrespect shown toward the press by interminable delays.”
- The Wall Street Journal’s Laura Meckler would host a “summer picnic for actual WH reporters and officials.”
- CNN’s Ed Henry — “the CNN anchor with perfectly parted politician hair, who is running for the uncontested ‘TV seat’ — has yet to promise anything, on his Twitter or elsewhere.
Do you like the new JOURNALISTIC NEGLIGENCE artwork/logo/standing hed? It’s by our own Benjamin Frisch! Send your Journalistic Negligence items to tips@wonkette.com, ATTN: Fletch. This isn’t JournoList: your anonymity is assured.
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Dear “Fletch”, if that isn’t your real name: I like you. I like the work you’re doing. I can tell already that it will be very, very depressing, though.
But welcome aboard anyway! I’ll just sit over here, drinking heavily…
Woah, wait a second. Ed Henry is uncontested for the ‘TV seat’? Fuck that, can I enter? My campaign promise is to punch Ed Henry right on the ear, at least once every working day.
He misspelled journamalistic, otherwise very nice.
How come Ken Layne’s name isn’t heading that list?
Neilist, Doctor of Obsequious Toadyism
[re=610583]Zadig[/re]: I will go you one better and promise to kick Ed Henry in the nuts. Every day. And to smile my most telegenic smile while doing so.
i’ll tune in after they award best supporting actress.
Laura Meckler used to be my upstairs neighbor. That twat would blast NPR on Sunday morning like she was the only fukking person in the building. Sakk ‘o cokks for you, ma’am.
This proves life is exactly like high school.
A Fletch bio, por favor.
Also negligamence. Ethicamals.
Fletch Frisch ?
you decide. bartender….
That is some lazy alt-text, right there.
So … Helen Thomas loses her seat in the white house press orgy … and not long after this “Fletch” person just happens to show up, talking disdainfully about who gets to organize the white house press orgy …
YEAH I’M SURE THAT’S JUST A COINCIDENCE!!!
FLETCH=HELEN THOMAS
The basic issue for me is asses.
[re=610609]facehead[/re]: Does this mean I have to want to make out with Fletch now, too?
Heey-o!
[re=610609]facehead[/re]: More likely Fletch is Jeff Gannon.
the only important question is what is the candidate journalist’s position on ass-fucking. will he, she, or it drop pants to bend over and receive without hesitation? will it, she, or he conversely be able to deliver an acceptable private reaming, strap-on ever ready if a true woody is absent?
the winner’s necessary qualifications are more evident than a tarball on a gulf beach. this is, after all, washington d.c. we’re talking about. (cocksucking, teabagging, and rimjobbing abilities will also be taken into account.)
[re=610594]Neilist[/re]: Something smells fishy here indeed, and I’m sure it has nothing to do with Helen Thomas’ vacated seat. I mean could you imagine what that odor is?
Your new Journalistic Negligence logo looks like it used to be a Journalistic Crime logo, but someone thought better of it and changed the name. Negligence is a guy slipping on a banana peel. The guy in the logo looks like a burglar.
Laura Meckler used to be my upstairs neighbor.
Really?! Can I touch you? I don’t mean in a gay way. I’m just soooo…impressed! Wow! Someone knows Laura Meckler! Right here on Wonkette!
Who the hell is Laura Meckler?
Fletch: So, should we wait um, 2-3 weeks before Ken L., your Overlord, formally “introduces” you? You are either an unimportant/ugly/young intern or someone Ken wishes not to be named known/acknowledged/ or is ashamed of.
I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, having read other posts by you (I think?)–
that said, Welcome, Male or Femaile Fletch. You write good!
and, comment re: said ruler of a doubtful realm— isn’t this just your basic circle-jerk anyway?—- my apologies to the women of that group, who I know wouldn’t be involved in anything so, so, um…. tacky?
[re=610637]Katydid[/re]: Honey, my guess is nobody important…. I’m going back to reading a good book.
[re=610638]Words[/re]: Yikes! I managed to misspell several word… !st para. — delete “known”‘ 3rd para. “female” — (been ordering lingerie online and, um, nevermind)
If elected, I promise to do something about the completely inadequate puffballs in the Versailles press corps’ mens’ rooms. Have you ever tried to powder your wig with them? I did and it ended up a disaster — streaky and clumpy. How the civilized world expects us to report on the serious business of state under such conditions, I know not.
[re=610637]Katydid[/re]: I have no idea.
If elected I will start a post-dinner party for everyone at the local McDonald’s playland. Remember! Don’t drink too much orange soda before jumping into the ball pit! Chuck Todd hates it when someone wets themselves in there.
Hey, that’s some inside baseball. Only there’s no base. And no ball.
But who will MC the Gridiron this year!?!
With Helen gone, there isn’t a one of them fit to wipe the other one’s asses. Barry should just do a livestream webcast thingie from the oval o, fielding random questions from the coast to coast keyboard crew, give the fuckers in the basement a cask of amontillado and shut the door.
The degree to which they would not be missed is an expression of the infinite negative.
Oooo, a picnic! Well Laura Meckler has my imaginary vote, such gravitas.
[re=610652]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: If the last three years of awful MCs–Rich Little, Sykes, Leno– are any indication it will probably be Shecky Greene.
We had a copy of Fletch on vhs that I watched at least once every few months when I was 10-12 years old. I thought it was likely one of the best vhs tapes that ever existed and now I must torrent Fletch to find out if it was really that great. Thanks, Fletch!
The less there is at stake, the more vicious the fight: “Old jungle saying.”
You know, the claims, fights, etc., here are missing any substance partly because nothing unites the “journalists.” Some of them have never been reporters, some have never written, some have never been laquered spokesmodels, some have never had to worry about ad revenues, etc., but mainly the ones that would be active in such a vanity project are filled with, uh, vanity.
“Two little Hitlers will fight it out until/ One little Hitler does the other one’s will” (from the Book of McManus).
As for the graphic… why were spies stealing our journalistic intelligence? We never had very much, and surely they could find more by sending their agents elsewhere.
Outside of about 100 bubble-world people, no one gives a shit about this.
And the winner is …
/pause
Liz Cheney.
My sources (which I am now burning) reveal Fletch’s real name to be John Coctostan.
[re=610770]Come here a minute[/re]: I thought it was Nugent, Ted Nugent.
Is this logo really a picture of one of dem Rusky spies?
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