House Minority Tanning Bed Salesman John Boehner mentioned in an interview with the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review yesterday that he believes the financial reform legislation before Congress “is killing an ant with a nuclear weapon.” It’s clear that John Boehner has not read the legislation, like a scumbag, because the legislation is targeted at the financial industry, not ants, and Democrats love ants, and also the U.S. hasn’t used a nuclear weapon since 1945. But Boehner is in trouble because the entire Democratic party carefully reads every single line of every item posted on the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review‘s website every day, and they are being very angry red ants about this.
Cute!
And then Obama hit this point hard for some Wisconsinites. “That’s right. He compared the financial crisis to an ant,” Obama said. WE GOT IT THE FIRST TIME, SMARTASS.
If Boehner was trying to say this was a small problem, though, wouldn’t he have called it an anthill, rather than an ant? Isn’t “making mountains out of anthills” the expression? Or “molehills”? Something like that that, anyway. Ants can lift stuff that’s like 3,000 times their own weight or something like that. They’re very strong. Just like the financial industry in terms of Washington influence. So it’s not the best metaphor.
YES, you don’t need a nuclear bomb to kill an ant. But you don’t need a nuclear bomb to kill lots of people either. And it’s offensive to the Japanese to use nuclear bombs in metaphors if you’re not Japanese.
{ 66 comments }
Some snot nosed kid should fry him with a magnifying glass. Like a scene from The Far Side.
-Bob
This reminds me of 1776.
Boehner looks like he’s been nuked. Where the hell do you buy that orange spray-on tan shit he uses? Or is that just the nicotine oozing through his reptilian skin? Dude smokes Carltons like a chimney.
Cutting the budget during a severe recession is like using a magnifying glass to annihilate all human life on the planet.
Boner’s right. It is killing an ant with a nuke, but this is the ant.
http://lumiere.ens.fr/~alphapsy/blog/images/21701757_them_lg.jpg
The financial industry is a lot like ants. Army ants, that is, the aggressive species that swarm over a large area, consuming every living thing in their path, leaving devastation behind them as they relentlessly move on to find more resources to consume.
For some reason, this reminds me of the response Lt. General Kelly when asked whether using B-52s to take out Iraqi SCUD missile launchers wasn’t the equivalent of “killing a fly with a sledgehammer”:
“My own personal opinion is that’s a delightful way to kill a fly.”
Good times. Good times.
:::Sigh:::
Before it all went to shit, and turned into Vietnam With Sand.
:::Sigh:::
Apparently it is spit all over Boehner day. Even Joe Scarborough thinks he’s an orange-tinted douche-hole.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/30/joe-scarborough-john-boeh_n_630659.html
You see, this illustrates our basic conundrum: Ninety per cent of Democrats are as dumb as a bag of hammers, ten percent of them are sold-out to the MegaCorps. One hundred per cent of the Republicans are sold out to the Megacorps, but they all put their shoulders to the wheel together. Democrats stay as confused as a blind fairy at a wienie roast. My apologies to blind folk everywhere. We are so fucked.
[re=609582]Bordo[/re]: He’s trying to cover up looking like a drunk. He’s the color of bright pink overlaid with bronzer.
And he truly doesn’t give a fuck about any poors: “Did I say that outloud?” is what Boner was muttering to himself afterwards.
The average Teabagtards are really fucking idiots (not just “slow”) to think this douchebag cares about/represents them.
Old Naugahyde really stepped in it this time.
<3 u jonesy bones
So it’s like killing an ant in a little seaside Japanese town with a ball-bearing plant and other military industries and killing a hundred thousand civilians in the process. Why does John Boehner weep for the other side in WWII?
[re=609602]Rentboy.gov[/re]: yeah, he pulled a real Boenher.
Well, he’s right after all. James Whitmore and the US Army only needed flamethrowers to kill the ants in “Them!,” and they were giant automobile-sized irradiated ants to boot. Of course, Whitmore got killed by a giant ant himself. So sad.
[re=609602]Rentboy.gov[/re]: LOL! Alvin Greene should move to Ohio and run against Boner.
The ad would have been more effective if it had ended with Nancy Pelosi swinging onto a horse, toting a twelve-gauge shotgun and snarling, “Got that, Boner?”
[re=609594]ttommyunger[/re]: Maybe but it seems they get even crazier acting in the summer (heat stroke?) then the Dems get their shit together in the fall when the pubtards run out of gas. The healthcare bill passed this way, the Fin-Ref will pass (imperfectly but better than nothing) and Kagan will become SCJ Kagan shortly. Your sentiment though, is widely shared and has to be countered by the (self-righteous) left mediatards or people won’t bother to show up and the pubtards get to deadlock even more than they do now a la Clinton’s 1994, IMFO.
Oh and the Bronzing drunk is a chatty lush, ain’t he?
So is the picture a picture of a red ant carrying The Orange Boner’s head back to its nest after the ants pulled him apart? If so, Sweet.
I can think of a certain orange pissant from Ohio who could use a good nuking…
I’m a proponent of using MOAB’s instead. Much greener technology.
[re=609614]Ducksworthy[/re]: Don’t you remember the classics? Obviously, Boehner must have had a teleporter accident with an ant; his body should be running around with the ant’s head somewhere. Someone must have rescued the Boehner-head ant; not sure who, since all Republicans would ignore cries of “Help me!”.
John Boehner Sex Attack
So, Boner thinks that the near collapse of our entire economic system is so much trifling bullshit, that shouldn’t get in the way of the *really important* stuff, like shifting the tax burden to the poor.
You know who else thought collapsing our capitalist economic system was a pretty okay idea?
And yet, the conventional wisdom remains that the jackasses in the GOP will pick up a ton of seats in congress this fall. Why? Is it because Democrats are so fucktarded they couldn’t find their assholes with a wad of toilet paper, three mirrors, and a gps? Or is it because Americans are so fucking stupid that anything beyond “what’s 2 plus 2?” sounds like an MIT professor embarking upon a three hour lecture in nuclear physics?
I truly don’t know.
What I do know is that it’s absolute bullshit. I’m sorry, it is. I live in Virginia and am surrounded, on a daily basis, by people who have the intellectual curiosity of a garden slug minus the memory capacity or the ability to make logical connections. People around here continue to decry “big government” even while they deman the President do something about, well, fucking everything that has fucked up over the past ten years.
And all that shit that fucked up? Oh, gee, it all fucked up because of the same fucking morons who were screaming that the government was turning into Nazi Germany on steroids if they even THOUGHT about regulating ANYTHING other than what religion we should all conform to.
End result? You have a toothless, ineffective government that is barely capable or allowed to enforce the puny regulations because some fucking magical invisible hand will come along and make everything okay. That is, of course, until the entire economy collapses, or a mine caves in because no one gave a shit about enforcing safety regulations, or a big fucking oil well a mile under the surface of the Gulf of Mexico just up and fucking explodes gushing enough oil to deep fry the aquatic denizens of the Atlantic into the ocean. And where’s this invisible hand?
Who makes this connection? Nobody! They want to BLAME GOVERNMENT FOR NOT ACTING WHILE AT THE SAME TIME CRUCIFYING IT FOR GETTING IN THE WAY! And I think the GOP has just gotten to the point where they realize, “Holy shit, they really are that dumb. I mean, we thought we were getting away with murder during the Bush years, but fuck, just look at how many people pay attention to single digit IQ brain trusts like Sarah Palin and Joe the Plumber”.
And that’s the mentality that drives statements like this. Boehner doesn’t know nor care how hard the economic meltdown was. Sure, millions of people may have lost their jobs and pensions, but come on Boehner’s in the Senate, you have to do something REAL bad to lose your job in the senate like hiring Hookers to change your daipers or trying to have gay sex in an airport restroom.
Oh, wait.
He’s trying to warn us! If you kill an ant with a nuclear weapon, you get giant radioactive monster ants!
Don’t do it Obama!
Look, have you tried using conventional tactical weapons on an ant?
It’s very hard, very tricky shot, and you won’t always be successful. I know. I’ve tried. I’ve trotted out Uzis, mortars, tanks…even those daisycutter bombs we tried (and failed) to kill Osama bin Laden.
Laddie, if nukes were good enough for your grandpa, then they’re good enough for anihilating a single Formicidum. Got it?
[re=609631]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: Word.
Some ants are fucking tough.
[re=609589]facehead[/re]: Holy crap!!!!
When you loose Joe Scarborough, you loose the entire closeted homosexual, pain killer addicted, hamburger flipping capitalist, NASCAR enthusiast demographic, which as we all know is key to any hopes of a Republican resurgence in 2010!!!
Fortunately for “Big Orange” his number two is a Hebrew and not a member of the NASCAR tribe, ergo unacceptable to the base. So the Boner is allowed to keep his position which will allow many more opportunities for him to keep banging that chicken, which is a win for US America.
Good morning (again?), Wonkette!
The Int’l bidniz nooz is reporting that US President Scott Brown has vetoed some socialist financial “reform” scheme… so could Boehner be angling for a portfolio in the Brown Govt.?
Sometimes a 2×4, struck between the eyes, won’t do the trick. So you escalate to get their attention.
But I have a feeling that ants, like cockroaches, will survive a nuculer winter. And nothing will change.
My Aunt is really pissed about this…
Isn’t financial reform legislation more like stopping a nuclear reaction with an ant? After all, like everything else, Repugs are 180 degrees from reality.
Today we are all ants holding nuclear weapons?
Those guys! Republicans never miss a chance to bring up nukes, even ones who don’t pronounce it “nuke-ya-lur.”
[re=609624]JMP[/re]: So in some transporter created mangled form he still survives? That’s unfortunate. I was having fond memories of feeding grasshoppers to red ant hills as a child and seeing The Orange Boner dismembered would give me great pleasure, also.
Boner in da Hizzy!
[re=609650]Bearbloke[/re]: We don’t do the “portfolio” thing, you drunken socialist.
Nobody ever expected the current legislation to pass, it was just part of the passion play that passes for politics here. Someone had to wrestle those out-of-control Dems to the ground and force them not to tax the banks…furriners need to remember that single lesson we are taught every day in the US of America from cradle to grave,
Little people pay all the bills, money rides for free.
So now, do Ohio polling places hafta ban people wearing ant suits?
How could anyone named Boner be such a bitter old drunk? If my name was Boner, I’d giggle in my sleep and greet the world like a robin on my windowsill each day, even if I were the color of a bloody stool.
OT, but this is some type of Asian craziness I had to share (note the music),
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/28/gore-sex-scandal-gets-ani_n_627795.html
[re=609649]dijetlo[/re]: I was watching the Scarborough show this morning and they were also talking about Cantor and how he is perceived as obnoxious and over ambitious and Mike Barnicle snarkily said ” Did anyone mention how much he creeps them out?” It was sublime.
[re=609594]ttommyunger[/re]: Kinda melodramatic.
[re=609667]facehead[/re]: Now that pix of the masseuse have surfaced, I can say without reservation that Al Gore did NOT try to hit that.
[re=609665]widestanceromancer[/re]: You have made me laugh like a fool ,in spite of my being in LA and typing this on my iPod Touch. So I thank you for bringing some joy into my life
Predator drones would be far more appropriate.
Why does the Boehner-ant clip art remind me of Human Centipede? I mean, technically the picture includes neither centipedes nor humans.
Calling Boehner an asshole is too good for him. More like a hemorroid on an asshole.
[re=609702]mustardman[/re]: Agreed. I know several assholes, and calling Boehner an asshole is demeaning to assholes.
Okay, Hitchens gets cancer and Boehner is still walking around, seemingly healthy as can be in spite of all the smoking, tanning, and drinking? WTF?
In the same interview he proposed raising the retirement age to 70 and denying Social Security benefits based on income.
The ant has made himself illustrious
Through constant industry industrious.
So what?
Would you be calm and placid
If you were full of formic acid?
It’s a quibble, but … there will be copyediting on this post, right?
[re=609746]chascates[/re]: So, no SS benefits for you unless you earn above 200K?
[re=609665]widestanceromancer[/re]: Damn, you’re cheerful. Have you found that pony yet?
[re=609631]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: USA! USA! Seriously, what would it take any of those fucktards to lose their jobs? I still can’t get over the fact that a guy who hired hookers to play with his DIAPERS remains an elected official. Sometimes I think Americans are just the dumbest fucking shits on the planet and deserve to get reamed any which way, and it’s not even worth it to feel sorry for them. Maybe I should join the Repugnant Party.
Democrats and all progressives are just so delighted that the insipid and insane Repugnants are coming out to play. Had the Pittsburg Gazette Eagle Courier not offered this dud a platform, the DNC would have, gladly. Say on, orange guy!
Ah hah! AH HAH! Finally, the truth comes out. As a lone voice in the wilderness, I have been pleading with everyone to recognize the appearance of Jainism’s most holy of all beings, the 25th Jina, in rural South Carolina. It is, of course, Sri Alvin Greene. Not a daoist as many here assert, Greene follows the Jain practice of sweeping the ground in front of him any time he walks, so as to not inadvertently step on an ant!
Greene is a democrat.
Democrats love ants.
Ergo, Greene is an ant-loving Jain.
NOW do you get it!?1
[re=609667]facehead[/re]: That settles it! Not buying that 11th Century keep in the south of France. I’m moving to Taiwan, where the TV news delivers!
[re=609607]weejee[/re]:
Hey weejee…
Who dah hell said geezer’s weren’t capable of apropos metaphors…?
How the hell… are yah olde man?
Gramps sends all dah berry bestus…
Is the sun shinin’ on the left coast like it is on the Midwest…!
I prefer to use Raid Ant & Roach Killer to take out my pests.
[re=609631]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: Well played, sir. Well played.
Alt-text WIN! for the night.
Watched a bit of the interview & it’s painfully obvious: dude was catastrophically shitfaced. Zoned. Fried. Hammered to the tits. FUBAR from the neck up.
Never mind his stupid answers – I’m actually amazed he didn’t either hurl or pass out halfway through the Q&A.
GOP = killer drugs galore!
Could Boner have meant Aunt instead of Ant?? Just sayin’…
“…the U.S. hasn’t used a nuclear weapon since 1945.”
Not counting the 1000 or so we dropped on Nevada. It used to be a tourist attraction.
Comments on this entry are closed.