Falling off a child's bike and into our hearts.Former Michigan Speaker of the House Republican Craig DeRoche was arrested Sunday morning after friends and family called police because DeRoche was drunk and carrying around a gun, the Detroit Free Press reports. This happened because DeRoche’s wife was out of town, and when that happens, you have a license to get drunk and ride bikes with your three children and then break into your own house, get a loaded .40 cal out of your safe, and wave it around in front of your children so they finally respect you.

When police arrived shortly before 1 a.m. Sunday, DeRoche was holding one of his children and told police he had done nothing wrong. They were able to convince him to put down the child before arresting him.

Police took DeRoche to Providence Park Hospital in Novi to administer a blood test, which revealed a blood alcohol level of 0.13

0.13? That’s it? It’s pretty impressive to be this crazy at that level. Well done, Craig DeRoche. You didn’t do anything wrong. Exercise that Second Amendment! And that Twenty-First Amendment! Any old Republican politician can tote a gun and bottle of moonshine at once to impress the base, but few have the skills to also hold a small child, showing off one’s family values.

DeRoche also was sentenced for a DUI two weeks ago, of course. And there is no mention of child services getting involved in this, which is the right thing to do, because this man is very impressive to his children.

He has a sad, discontinued blog. There is a post in which he claims to be good friends with Mitt Romney.


[Detroit Free Press]

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  1. Haven’t the Na’vi police paid attention to the Supreme Court? It’s an outrage that the state of Michigan is violating its citizens’ Constitutional rights to drunkenly wave their guns around in front of their children.

    Why does the penultimate sentence – “DeRoche is in the insurance busines” – not surprise me?

  2. I must say, I’m impressed with this Craig guy. A drink in one hand, a gun in the other, and riding a bike.
    He’s good at multi-tasking… and family values.

  3. I live in Portland, Oregon, where bicyclists build funny-shaped bikes and sometimes ride them naked. But we generally tend to frown on brandishing firearms while cycling here. As a rule.

  4. Dems need to stop talking about guns as “are they nice to have or not” and instead start talking about every easing of handgun restrictions in terms of how many children will be shot in the face by drunk republican legislators.

  5. [re=609542]slowuncle[/re]: Not any more, after the SCOTUS ruling. I can’t wait for the asshole bicyclists and the asshole drivers to get in a shooting war.

  6. As a native and former long-time resident, I can say with confidence that there’s something they’re not telling us. None of that shit gets a man arrested in Michigan. Trust me, I know.

  7. My freakin’ grandmother blows a .13 after a couple of slices of her homemade rum cake. Don’t blame this shit on alcomohol. I want to know what’s in his medicine cabinet. That’s the real story, right there.

  8. [re=609542]slowuncle[/re]:

    Bicycling naked in Portland, Oregon? What’s the average temperature in that city? Kinda nippy, isn’t it? Doesn’t it rain a lot, too? Why would a guy want to ride a bike naked in cold rainy weather? He could catch his death of cold, not to mention the whole shrinkage issue.

    Nekkid bike riding in Maui would be understandable, but not Portland.

  9. At least it was a .40 cal.

    I’m so tired of all these Pinko Pussy Weak Wrist 9mms you Social Scum usually wave around.

    (Although that “Hello Kitty” M16 was sorta sweet.)

    And I REALLY like the idea of using the kid for body armor. MUCH cheaper than Kevlar.

    {Yes, yes, I know. Neilist is an ASSHOLE. But back off: John Yoo is my ATTORNEY!)

  10. How come hiz former Speakeasyerness, the honorable Mr. DeDouche didn’t make it to the Fremont Solstice Parade. There were lotsa guys on bikes showing off their gunz goin’ around offering to show off their Buntline Specials. DeDouce coulda showed-off his Deringer.

  11. [re=609569]Terry[/re]: it stops being cold around here sometime in April or May most years: as for shrinkage hazards I really hadn’t noticed: was too busy looking at the twenty-something minxes pedalling by nekkid—sometimes in flocks of twenty or more.
    ‘Tis a sight to behold, believe me


    Like I said when I saw this story this morning, someone needs to get this guy elected to the State Senate before he kills somebody.

  13. The DeRoche kids learned some important lessons Sunday morning – guns and booze don’t mix, cops are cool and daddy is a fuckin’ lightweight twathead.

  14. The police should recognize that Mr. DeRoche was practicing gun safety — it’s a lot harder to shoot your kids if you’re drunk. If he had been sober he probably would’ve plugged one of ’em.

  15. Where I live, none of those activities would raise an eyebrow. Except in a bank, casino or government building. Those places really don’t want anything to skew the odds against them.

  16. Haha! It only took him 12 days to violate his probation. The judge will not be amused.

    “On June 15, he was sentenced to six months probation, and given a 92-day suspended jail sentence. He also was ordered to pay $1,060 in fines, costs and reimbursements and ordered to refrain from alcohol or controlled substances, attend AA meetings and submit to random drug and alcohol screenings.”

  17. [re=609655]Ninong[/re]: And when he is convicted of a felony, and can no longer legally possess a firearm, I give it five minutes before some Tea Bagger to scream that it’s a librul plot to deprive this man of his Second Amendment Rights.

  18. [re=609542]slowuncle[/re]: Why do people do this? Fucking hippies. Probably inspired by this, some idiots here tried to organize a “naked bike ride” last year, but at least it was really the underwear bike ride; no one actually went nude. Being hippies, none of them were the type of people you’d want to see naked.

  19. [re=609675]gjdodger[/re]: And if you blow a .22, the NRA waives the initiation fee. If you blow them all, they give you an officership.

  20. a commenter at detroit free press asked ” what did he do that was wrong ?” and “The no-alcohol restriction attached to his drunk driving probation was “uncalled for”(paraphrasing) . If the scenario had been that one of the kids had shot the drunken daddy out of innocence or disgust , would he/she have been sent to gitmo for patricide or assassination-of-an-asshole or some crime ?

  21. [re=609576]Neilist[/re]: Not really cheaper than body armor — they have to attain a certain size before they offer much protection at all. Using someone else’s kid for body armor keeps costs down.

  22. [re=609713]imissopus[/re]: Note that he was arrested at 1 am on a Sunday with a BAL of .13 while holding one of his children. It is not clear whether “his” refers to “fruit of his loins” or “goods that he bought and paid for and now rightly own”.

  23. The really horrible thing this guy with the French-like last name did was not enforce a reasonable bed time. He had one child up until 1 a.m.? WTF?

  24. [re=609726]PsycGirl[/re]: I hear times are tough in Michigan. If some laid-off GM worker had to sell his children to an alcoholic Republican for drunken sexytime, who are we to judge? Let he who is without sin, etc. etc.

  25. deroche will snivel . and drivel . and get off the hook ….. family values means protecting children , not getting drunk n waving guns around in front of ’em . Now his wife can use this to extort more concessions from him during the divorce tho , so , Happy Ending !!!!!!

  26. Jeez-us-W.-Christ .13 doesn’t even set off my SCRAM bracelet. Last time I blew a .13, my parole officer laughed in my face and called me a sissy.

  27. How quickly can he begin to recite the AA mantra and run off to some 12 Step facility where he will learn he was ‘powerless’ and reject personal responsibility for his fuck up?

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