but god does want you raped though

Sharron Angle Does Not Want To Murder Harry Reid With Guns

She would never kill anybody, probablyHa ha, remember when Sharron Angle was some nobody teabagger that people voted for because, well, she’s nuts and all, but at least she doesn’t believe that people should pay for health care with live poultry? Back then she could just spout off with all sorts of crazy stuff, like, say, “People are really looking toward those Second Amendment remedies and saying my goodness what can we do to turn this country around? I’ll tell you the first thing we need to do is take Harry Reid out.” But now she’s an actual candidate and grown-up Republicans are helping raise money for her and so she had to go on a Nevada TV news show and admit that she has no immediate plans to kill Harry Reid, per se.

Here, Nevada voters, is the shocking truth: Sharron Angle is just another politician, if by “politician” you mean someone who wishes to achieve power through the electoral process rather than through a bloody coup:

Angle, in her first extended Nevada interview since winning the June 8 primary, said she was speaking broadly about the Constitution and her words about the Democratic leader were “a little strong.”

The Republican nominee stopped short of an apology but said she no longer uses that phrase.

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“I meant take him out of office, and taking him out of office is a little different,” Angle said. “I changed my rhetoric.”

Proponents of an assassination-based system of government might take heart in the fact that Angle never explained how her proposed “Second Amendment remedies” might help remove Reid from office. Perhaps an attack that only wounded the Senate Majority Leader would rattle him so much that he would stop campaigning, or maybe just outright resign from office? It’s a well-known fact that liberals are cowards that way.

Once this unpleasantness with the mean reporter was over, Angle discussed her more conventional political goals, including the elimination of Social Security and the banning of abortion even in cases of rape and incest, because God totally had your rape all planned out. [Fox/Salon]

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About the author

Josh was born and raised in Buffalo, New York, leaving him with a love of chicken wings and a tendency to say “pop”. He taught ancient Greek and Roman history to undergraduates before fleeing from academia in terror; worked for a failed San Francisco dot-com that neglected to supply him with stock options or an Aeron chair; lived in Berlin, where he mostly ate Indian and Ethiopian food; finished in third place on his sole Jeopardy! appearance (the correct answer was “Golda Meir”); and was named 2007 Blogger of the Year by The Week, for obvious reasons. Josh is the creator/editor of COMICS CURMUDGEON (which you should read) and does geeky editing and writing about geeky things such as "the Java programming industry for JavaWorld." He lives in Baltimore with his wife Amber and his cat Hoagie.

View all articles by Josh Fruhlinger

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64 comments

  1. JMP

    So the backpedaling strikes again; funny, I don’t remember the part of the Second Amendment that has to do with voting. Or maybe she plans to form a rell-regulated Nevada militia to launch a coup against Reid – a coup with votes, people; nothing violent.

    Did she say anything about her mainstream support for keeping mind-controlling fluoride out of our water, or drug treatment the L. Ron Hubbard way?

  2. Geogre

    Hey, don’t worry!

    According to Think Progress, she thinks that abortion should be illegal in the case of rape, because God has a plan. You see, she believes that, because of miracles and stuff, and because of providence, if you’re raped, then the baby will only grow inside of you if God wants it to, and, if God wants it to, then you’d best not get in the way.

    As for incest, well… look what it’s done for her!

  3. JMP

    [re=609151]Geogre[/re]: If a woman’s raped and gets pregnant, then according to Apple it must that god wanted her to get raped by that man and have that baby, to continue his plan. Man, this god is really a major-league asshole, and anything that interferes with the plan of a dick that would do that has gotta be a good thing.

  4. Adversary153

    I believe god has a plan for her too. So she should stop campaigning because if god wants you to win, you’ll win. See Greene, Alvin if you have doubts of god’s great plan.

  5. Geogre

    [re=609156]JMP[/re]: I think, to be fair to her crazy, she would actually admit that the rape is evil — therefore allowing her to be in favor of torture, mutilation, castration, etc. However, once there is intercourse, there is a “baby,” and babies are, of course, in states of perfection.

    These folks have as much theology as an half erased Sunday School teacher’s bumper sticker, but what they do have is this really, really Manichean dualism. It’s what allows them to justify “taking out” Harry Reid, for example.

    The “in case of incest” is going to play hilariously in Nevada, btw. I would venture to guess that she wants the Elizabeth Smart’s captor votes.

  6. Barrelhse

    Sharon Angle is a shining example of how devolved and ignorant this country has become. I have no hope for the future of the US if this kind of politician is electable, as narrow-minded and short-sighted “solutions” based on hate and stupidity will certainly be the end of our Nation.

  7. Geogre

    [re=609159]Adversary153[/re]:
    Genius!

    If she had strong enough faith, she would go quietist. (I think she sees herself more as the “Christian soldier” fighting against “Satan’s armies” type, though.)

  8. x111e7thst

    [re=609156]JMP[/re]: If god exists she is malevolent, hates us and wants us to suffer. Therefor Sharron Angle.

  9. fictional character

    it saddens me that we’ve long past the point at which smart politicians pandering to stupid people became stupid politicians being stupid, and getting elected for it.

  10. JMP

    [re=609166]Geogre[/re]: Hey now, one-eyed six-fingered semi-retarded babies are all a apart of god’s sick plan. The pro-incest-babies thing is for the deep South and Utah, not Nevada.

    It doesn’t look like the interviewer asked about her support of bringing back prohibition; that’s certainly going to go over big in Vegas.

    [re=609173]comicbookguy[/re]: I started to look, but then thought better of it.

  11. slappypaddy

    god is a mean motherfucker playing dice with the universe. no matter how they roll, we lose, but lately a lot of snake-eyes have been coming up.

  12. EdFlinstone

    If Angle is elected the movie Idiocracy will have to be moved out of comedy and into the documentary section at your local movie store.

  13. weejee

    She’s taking the first part of the Second Amend to heart, and trying to keep her mouth well regulated. Her handlers have kept her under lock & key, likely doing practice interviews. There is just no way will she be able to keep this up until November unless they lock her in a closet. There will be lots of sharp-Angle bank shots to come that will sail right off the table.

  14. hockeymom

    Serious question…how is she polling in Nevada?
    We at Wonkette laugh and laugh and laugh at the stupid….but the reality might be not so funny.

    See Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin. They’ve said similar things and yet have been elected multiple times.

    Those are only female example…there are any number of men in Congress who probably share Angle’s enlightened views (plus, might be willing to go on the record saying slavery wasn’t such a bad thing).

    I’m a little too scared to laugh at this point. In fact, I am weeping Eagle Tears.

  15. I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO

    [re=609204]EdFlinstone[/re]: After everything and you think ANGLE puts us over the Idiocracy line? I was there about a year and a half ago when I overheard a coworker spout, with glee, “I need to take my lunch break so I can go listen to Rush Limbaw”.

    Every time some serious faced reporter dutifully stenographs for Sarah Palin I am reminded that we are already there.

    Now that I think about it, has anyone noticed that serious people don’t really quote Sarah Palin when she talks? No think about it, it’s fucking weird. All these starburst seeing, cougar fapping, Rand worshipping bloggers will quote Palin’s facebook opeds day and night, but the only people who actually quote Palin’s speeches are libtards, and they are usually laughing. Whenever you see her speeches clipped on the news, they’re usually followed by glass-eyed reporters trying desperately too look like they didn’t just have their IQ points sucked straight through their foreheads. And that’s here in Virginia. I wonder what it must be like in states with a net positive IQ.

  16. Come here a minute

    Reid should keep hammering her on chicken-care. So what if she didn’t say it; it gets attention and she will be so busy denying it she won’t have time to campaign on her extremely popular plan to eliminate Social Security.

  17. PabaBritannica

    Too bad Reid has the energy of 1/2 a Joe Lieberman, or else he might actually be able to attack her on this!

  18. MarieDeGournay

    If I could have one wish, I would make the personal forcefield generators from Dune a reality and give them to anyone who wanted one. That way these people can keep humping the second amendment without putting the rest of the population at risk.

  19. Jim89048

    [re=609262]PabaBritannica[/re]: So far most of Reid’s campaign ads have been either Angle soundbites or block quotes. And really, I think that might be enough.

  20. Bass Weasel

    [re=609149]JMP[/re]:

    Oh, I sure hope so. I’d love to see the looks on the faces of the well-regulated Nevada militia the first time a Predator drone takes out whatever outhouse they’re using as an armory …

  21. Guppy06

    Ask her if God had a plan to fly airplanes into the World Trade Center and see if her head explodes.

  22. just pixels

    [re=609180]An Outhouse[/re]: “on a date?” Of course, that’s what she meant! That’s true leadership: Betting people to do something they would not do otherwise, like spending time with Harry Reid voluntarily.

  23. just pixels

    We should definitely eliminate Social Security and go back the ways of the Founding Fathers. Like working until you die at age 50. Or, should you live so long, having your three surviving children (out of twelve born) support you. Keep the faith, Sharon!

  24. Sgt. Biyatch

    [re=609204]EdFlinstone[/re]: I agree. Though, look on the bright side – a law school at Costco!

  25. comicbookguy

    [re=609261]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: You should have read the new license agreement when you downloaded the latest iTunes.

  26. comicbookguy

    [re=609184]JMP[/re]: You don’t have to read the faux news comments, I’ll summarize. First (obviously) it’s all the libtards’ fault. And as far as “using second amendment remedies” to “take out Harry Reid,” only an idiot would think that in any way involves guns. Angle is going to be the next Senate leader and they will all point at us and laugh. With common sense. Also.

    [re=609235]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: Now that you mention it, the only speech quotes from Palin I can readily recall is “drill baby drill” and something about separating chocates from dead fish downstream.

  27. MissyLissa

    So, if you get a cold would it be wrong to take antibiotics for it? Maybe God had a plan for that bacteria and he doesn’t appreciate you getting in the way with your medicine!

    Besides, do you know how many chickens it costs for an abortion?

  28. WHAT?

    [re=609209]weejee[/re]: It took a while to get that GOP hand up her a** but sooner or later it will have to come out for a manicure or whatever. Then the crazy will come pouring out.

  29. comicbookguy

    When is the first debate scheduled? Get the popcorn. This is going to be fun.

    Oh and all you libtards who don’t understand anything: “Second amendment remedies” means votes, “take out” means “retirement” and “transition out” social security means “lock box” You libtards are taking a page right out of George Orwell with your deliberate misunderstanding of Angle’s words. Also, be sure to attend the Teabagger convention in Las Vegas, there will be a special session on how to use Saul Alinsky tactics. (no really, there is)

  30. Senator Bateman

    This woman is a bit….obtuse….in all seriousness,though, she looks like a meth addict.

  31. I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO

    [re=609299]MarieDeGournay[/re]: You’re better than I. My one wish would involve hookers and blow like all red blooded Americans.

    Commie.

  32. I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO

    [re=609375]comicbookguy[/re]: Silly me for thinking the second amendment was the one with guns in.

  33. comicbookguy

    [re=609376]Senator Bateman[/re]: The meth-face look is all the rage in Nevada. Have you seen Heidi Fleiss lately? Ick!

  34. GOPCrusher

    [re=609350]comicbookguy[/re]: I’ve yet to figure out the leap in logic it takes for Tea Baggers to blame libruls for them threatening to take violent action on any issue, but at this point, I’m not sure I really want to. I think it’s contagious.

  35. comicbookguy

    [re=609483]Neilist[/re]: Tell me you didn’t do it.

    Somebody check Neilist’s fridge for body parts.

  36. One Yield Regular

    In all snarkless sincerity, I think the absence of a deeply contrite public apology from Ms. Angle for that “Second Amendment remedies” comment merits a visit to her home from the Secret Service to remind her about the seriousness of such not-so-veiled threats. And if they’re not on their way over there right now, they’re not doing their job.

  37. maven

    [re=609315]Guppy06[/re]: He did, only it was that Other God. That’s why Angle’s God needs soldiers, because all the Gods are slugging it out and they need armies, sacrifices, etc. Apparently Angle’s God is less powerful than the doctor’s God (probably that liberal Joo God) or the Arab God and needs Grizzly Momma help or something like that, I was never really good at theology.

  38. edgydrifter

    So, if God has a plan for that rape baby stewing in your belly, then obiously we can’t prosecute the rapist, because he was part of God’s great plan too. I look forward to the day when I can look a cop straight in the face while I’m setting fire to my neighbor’s house and say “fuck off, it’s in The Plan.” Of course, his tasering my firebug ass will also be The Plan. Damn, God’s will is confusing.

  39. Diana Davies

    I wish I would have known about God’s plan as I lay in the hospital after having been assaulted by three white males. It would have given me such comfort.

  40. predilectrix

    That face should be illustrating “pained rictus” in the dicktionary.

    [re=609362]WHAT?[/re]: Metaphor du jour!

  41. Jim89048

    [re=609409]comicbookguy[/re]: In fairness to the rest of us in Nevada, she looked like that when she got here.

  42. algoresexattack

    why can t she just be straight….’this is the most powerful handgun in the world, and can blow your head clean off! you got to ask yourself one question! do you feel lucky? well do ya punk?!?!?’ then shoots harry reid in the face at point blank range. the end.

  43. NYNYNY

    Bitch, when you get to the Pearly Gates, someone’s gonna get raped, and booted down to hell, and it’s not St. Peter.

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