“Where’s the ice cream?” “It’s CUSTARD!” Uggh. Joe Biden went to a frozen dairy purveyor in Wisconsin this weekend, and when he asked how much he owed for this photo op custard stuff, some guy in a stupid hat spit out some dumb quip about taxes. So Joe Biden said a swear so that everyone would report about custard and tax wingnuts and not being able to discuss policy when the vice president visits your custard hole today instead of the story that the U.S. is SECRETLY putting WARSHIPS near Iran. What other news have Joe Biden gaffes distracted us from?
- All of New York was blown up in a terrorist attack last month, but Joe Biden called a tool-and-die maker a “dumbfuck.”
- The Obama administration started sending Teabaggers to re-education internment camps in socialist Canada last Tuesday, but Joe Biden called a glassblower a “glass-cock sucker.”
- All conservative reporters were replaced with speeches by Jon Favreau on Thursday, but Joe Biden called a toy maker an “elfish cuntbag.”
- That custard was REALLY DELICIOUS, but Joe Biden called that custard guy a “smartass.”
Now you know.
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What? He didn’t tell someone to “Go Fuck Themselves”? Then I call bullshit.
“Iran is not guaranteeing a peaceful production of nuclear power [so] the members of the G8 are worried and believe absolutely that Israel will probably react preemptively,” Berlusconi said, as quoted at Ha’aretz.
And that is exactly why the US supports Israel. It hasn’t got shit to do with AIPAC or the Joos. What’s the term again…useful idiots? Although, both governments win, and all the people lose, so it all works out?
Sorry no snark. As I said earlier, I was pissed when Obama picked Biden, but I’m beginning to like the old coot.
I guess that makes Joe Biden
*takes off sunglasses*
a CUSS-turd.
Yeeeeeeeeeah!
I believe this is the official Smart Ass Club greeting ritual, with Biden merely recognizing one of his own in the traditionally accepted greeting.
To be fair, that toymaker (Santa) really was an elfish cuntbag.
[re=608018]sezme[/re]:
What do you think he said about Legolas?!
“Fuck off, douchebag, I am the Vice-President of the United States and I will render your ass as soon as I can get the C.I.A. on the horn, which is right quick, motherfucker, ” is what I would have said. And then pissed all over his shoes, right there in the kitchen.
I am not in politics for a reason.
Bite me.
it’s not a big fucking deal
[re=608022]Tommmcatt[/re]: Agreed. Back in the old days, he would of been custard maker today, tomorrow, waking up in a uniform with a gun in Afghanistan as punishment for his insubordination.
The manager was gracious about it. He must have learned that in custard management school.
You know all that freedom we got by getting our boys and girls killed in Iraq for the last seven years? Well that shit’s not paid for, Custardman, and freedom ain’t free. Also, you’re living with the lowest federal tax burden of the past 40 years, so you might want to complain to your state government. Also, your custard tastes like cat pee.
Mark my words, out of this one moment in time will come the formation of the great Custard Party. Sarah Palin will jump ship from the Tea Party to set herself up as the queen of the Custards. Or is that, Queen of the Custarts.
Today we are all smartasses.
[re=608013]Katydid[/re]:
I’m beginning to like the old coot.
Now you’re being a smartass.
Joe, use language like Michel Angelo uses paint. like an artist. Not like a potty mouth.
Obama already lowered your taxes you stupid fucking sourmilk fucker!
“Was that Biden, or Bite-Me?”
“Thank you! Thank you! You’re a wonderful audience! I’ll be here all week! Two shows nightly! No cover! Be sure to tip your waitress, and try the Veal!”
Stanley “Tears of a Clown” McCrystal
Now appearing!
Grossinger’s Hotel & Resort
The Catskills
(Hey! Write if you find work, okay?)
[re=608026]germansteel[/re]: Stop stealing my material, ya smuck!
Who the hell likes custard, except for really old people?!? Make a product that people actually like, asshole.
Okay, this is OT, but . . .
I just thought of the PERFECT headstone for Dick “Dick” Cheney:
“No, Fuck YOU!”
(Thank you! Thank you! I’ll be opening for Stan-The-Man all week! We both just flew in from Afghanistan, and — Boy! — those SA-18 Grail MANPADS the Tailies shoved up our asses sure make us tired!!)
The LA Timez appears to have just one Orr in the water so it can spin, spin, spin for the Repubicans.
It seems some asswipe name of Jimmy Orr who was e-com director for dubbya is now blogging for the times, but not being identified as a flack. He wuz fap, fap, fapping this Geo. Armstrong Custard story all day.
/eyeroll
So Sarah Palin is going to switch from being a tea-tard to a cus-tard? Isn’t that special, dontcha know!
[re=608064]BlueStateLiberal[/re]: What the hell is custard? Is it like that weird crap the call pudding in England?
That is Tosh.0 worthy – too funny! Maybe he’ll get a web redemption. Thanks for the mid-afternoon laugh (West Coast time).
laura
When Wisconsin is over-run by Messicans that shop will be replaced by a flan dispensary.
If I was Joe Biden I would have made the Secret Service guys hold that cocksucker up and kicked him in the balls a minimum of 50 times.
[re=608056]chascates[/re]: Can’t believe he didn’t meniton it. The snark threw him off, I guess.
[re=608040]WhatTheHeck[/re]: The Custard Party–brilliant! Sign me the fuck up! Lick my taxes now!
[re=608084]Chet Kincaid[/re]: I mean “sign me up with all deliberate fuckishness”, not “sign up myself, the fuck-up.” But go ahead and lick my chocolate scoops.
[re=608067]weejee[/re]: Yeah, the Timez does that. They hired Laura Bush’s former press secretary as a blogger and I don’t believe they ever identified him as such. The readers had to out him.
Fine, asshole, you want to go back to the tax rates under your precious Ronnie Raygun? Then I hereby nationalize your fucking ice cream shop to pay for your back taxes, you idiot! Free ice cream for the poor!!
[re=608013]Katydid[/re]: No, it’s because of the Fundies and Armaggedonites. Gotta have a Jewish state so there can be a 3rd Temple complete with animal sacrifices so the Anti-christ can defile it, or Jesus won’t Rapture the Fundies away from their stupidities. Then 144, 000 Jews get converted, the others are killed by the Anti-Christ and then Jesus comes AGAIN, and lets his raptured fundie pals rule everyone with a rod of iron for a thousand years, before everyone goes to Hell.
In defense of Biden, the Nazis used to call ice cream “frozen custard” too.
In fairness, as Glen Beck will surely point out, the Communist referred to ice cream as “Workers’ Paradise Cream,” at least during the Wilson administration.
Meanwhile, I can only wish Joebiden would hurl obscenities in my general direction.
[re=608022]Tommmcatt[/re]: me too…hope the line isn t too long!
Frozen custard is the same thing as French vanilla icecream. It’s probably all part of a conspiracy to embarrass the VP.
How long before Joe the Custard Maker appears on Fox News with his views on the economy, etc?
“Smart-ass”? I thought he’d at least cough up an avuncular rhyme like “custard”/”bustard”…
[re=608014]The Unfairman[/re]: It was his last stand, really.
[re=608089]imissopus[/re]: All the newz that fits they print.
A great Vice President uses words like the Italian Renaissance painter, Michelangelo used paint To entice nubile boys to get their clothes off. A great custard shop owner uses custard like the Italian Renaissance painter, Michelangelo used paint – to slather all over the ceiling.
I found the bullet list of gaffes to be extremely creative and witty. Well done.
I love how the right is crying about how calling someone a “smartass” is worse than drinking “a few beers” then proceeding to shoot an old man in the face (then make him apologize on national television for blocking your projectiles),
Fuck that. I don’t respect a man unless he likes FISH fucking CUSTARD and he’s a 900-year-old time-traveling alien.
The conversation unreported by the media after Joe concluded his tour of the kitchen:
“Jesus,” said Biden, “All these people do all day is have sex with various kinds of dessert!”
“I know,” said the manager, “I’m fuckin dis custard!”
[re=608153]Troubledog[/re]: Ha! But, they left out the one where Joe called the guy at the Costco hot dog stand a “Danny Dickwad” for giving him such a hard time when he tried to use his debit card there.
My first real job 14 years ago was at the Wendy’s directly next to this Kopp’s. I used to work the register. If Joe and Russ Feingold had come in for a Frosty I would have charmed their pants off!
Those Kopp’s kids were always assholes to us because they had to wear those lame paper hats and we had those rad fabric visors!
[re=608123]maven[/re]: I think the custard guy was a tea party plant.
Okay, so this is the horrible custard shop manager abuse? Where they’re both smiling and giving each other manly slaps on the back and going “heh heh heh” and then afterwards the custard guy is all like, “yeah, Joe Biden, he’s pretty funny” and grinning fit to split?
Republicans always preface their remarks by saying “I run/used to run a small business…” What the fuck do you want, a cookie?
Secretly? There are always two carriers there, briefly, when one is relieving another. This happens about three times a year. But IZRUL!!1!! WAR!eleventy!!1! Fuckin’ hippies.
The strange thing is that this is the exact custard shop where the infamous “Dick” Cheney picture was taken. It was featured here and on other sites. I was the one who dug it out of the library archives in Milwaukee after it was disappeared off the web and most of the papers that existed also “went missing”. Here’s the original scan: http://www.astrofunk.com/images/cheney.jpg
[re=608123]maven[/re]: Scott the Soda Jerk should have his own show on Fux by week’s end.
[re=608201]sezme[/re]: Corner. Now!
I just don’t understand these people! Have they considered what the budget impact has been for the last two wars? And the W tax cuts? Don’t they even know that their taxes are less under Obama than –
Oh hey, custard, mmmmm… yeah, I’ll have a medium. Can you do a chocolate/vanilla twist?
Aside from Biden and his issue with properly identifying creamy substances…
Comments on the rawstory article include doozies like this one “Paul you are right; people say often that America is not mentioned in the bible, and by name we are not. But by our deeds we are known. ”
I guess our wackaloons are preparing for holy war with Iran.
You can tell Biden fucked up because just as soon as the word “smartass” was out of his mouth you had his quick-response team ushering the cameras away. “We’re done here, thank you.”
The Administration really needs to invest in some MIB memory flashers for this one.
[re=608217]BruceLee5000[/re]: I’m kind of surprised Biden didn’t hit up the Hooters across the street. Opting for Kopp’s showed a bit of media-savvy.
But, yes, fuck Kopp’s. Even if it is getting to the point that I hardly have any custard options left. (Golden Gyros would be, but they don’t accept debit cards. Cash only. Fuckin’ Greco-Americans.)
[re=608076]Buzz Feedback[/re]: Moar Messcans would improve Wizzconsin. Too damn many old, white, fat, boring as hell Germanic types.
Rodney Dangerfield said virtually the same thing to me. Seriously.
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