TORY TEABAGGERS  2:59 pm June 28, 2010

Steve Forbes Craps On Robert Byrd’s Fresh Grave

by Ken Layne

Self-made man.
Robot-dweeb asswipe Steve Forbes was such a great Republican Presidential Candidate that absolutely no-one can remember that Steve Forbes did this, not so long ago. Has he vanished up the anus of his inherited wealth? No, of course not. He’s a fake Teabagger. He’s got a Twitter. And he’s so happy Robert Byrd is dead. The only thing that would be better, for banks, is if every other Democrat in the Senate died … and Scott Brown, too, if Scott Brown’s thinking about voting for financial reform. [Twitter via Wonkette Op "Angie D."]

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Dashboard_Buddha June 28, 2010 at 3:03 pm

Jesus Jumped of Christ…these Cons are fucking worse than flies on a newly dead corpse.

JMP June 28, 2010 at 3:05 pm

Ah yes, the dynamic Forbes campaign; “Flat tax; Flat tax; Flat tax…”.

ManchuCandidate June 28, 2010 at 3:05 pm

Funny thing, Byrd’s corpse is more alive than Forbes’ flat tax.

dball213 June 28, 2010 at 3:05 pm

Isn’t that the head vampire from The Lost Boys?

Ducksworthy June 28, 2010 at 3:06 pm

Good News! Steve Forbes will suffer a horrible death from untreatable testicular cancer.

WarAndG June 28, 2010 at 3:10 pm

Forbes will hump a corpse if the margin is big enough.

Buzz Feedback June 28, 2010 at 3:11 pm

Hit in the chin w/more TruckNutz than Pete Rose.

4tehlulz June 28, 2010 at 3:12 pm

Steve’s just jealous that a dead Robert Byrd is a more-viable presidential candidate than he is.

Fighting Bill June 28, 2010 at 3:13 pm

The asswipe reformed his own finances by wasting untold millions on his epically failed campaign.

TGY June 28, 2010 at 3:13 pm

CEO? Douche.

JMP June 28, 2010 at 3:18 pm

[re=607850]Fighting Bill[/re]: No he didn’t! He reformed his finances by wasting millions on his TWO epically failed campaigns; get it straight.

Prommie June 28, 2010 at 3:18 pm

[re=607837]JMP[/re]: “The flat tax will usher in an era of unprecedented prosperity.” He would literally answer every question with this, with, and append a few words at the end to explain its application to that particular question. The flat tax was like Steve’s version of the Invisible Hand of the Paultards, they don’t know how its going to fix everything under the sun, exactly, but they know it will, so all they have to do is simply wave it at the problem, invoke its name, it will do the rest.

“Mr. Forbes, how would you respond to the AIDS epidemic?” “The flat tax will usher in an era of unprecedented prosperity, and therefore, people will be too busy counting their enormous piles of money to have unprotected sex or use intravenous drugs, and thus AIDS will become a thing of the past.”

Mr. Forbes, how would you deal with the Deepwater Horizon well and the environmental disaster?” “The flat tax will usher in an era of unprecedented prosperity, which will allow us to line the shoreline with absorbant hundred dollar bills, while we plug the well with gold bullion and diamonds.”

SayItWithWookies June 28, 2010 at 3:19 pm

Good News! Steve Forbes’ classless self-interest and ghoulish glee means there’s one less person I have to politely respectful of when I hear about his death. Steve, say hi to the other residents of that ever-growing list: Pat Robertson, Dick Cheney, John Yoo, etc. etc.

Beowoof June 28, 2010 at 3:20 pm

Gee what a great idea keep financial reform from happening. I mean, what could be worse than placing some restraints on bankers who were willing to crash the entire American economy, so that they could continue to make millions and millions of dollars for really doing nothing. After all I know I like going to the casino with my retirement fund and lay it all down on some derivatives recommended by my trusty banker.

And celebrating the death of the senator woo hoo to protect your fat ass the pile of money your daddy left you what could be more Christian and American and to do that. Of the two politicians that went to the hospital this weekend the wrong one died.

Manos: Hands of Fate June 28, 2010 at 3:21 pm

Way to keep it classy asshole.

joezoo June 28, 2010 at 3:25 pm

“Teve Torbes.” That, right there, is the only thing in the world that I can remember about Steve Forbes, who he is, or why he theoretically matters, to anyone.

Come here a minute June 28, 2010 at 3:25 pm

Metaphorically the grave was being crapped on, but there won’t be a grave until they parade the corpse around to various “lying in state” type events, no doubt. Sorry Senator Byrd, you’re not done yet.

BlueStateLiberal June 28, 2010 at 3:26 pm

The true heart-and-soul of the Republican exposed for all the world to see!

mcc June 28, 2010 at 3:26 pm

So if the WV governor, who’s a Democrat?, nominates a new Senator, then the dems get vote 59 back right?

Also isn’t Russ Feingold still a vote in play on financial reform? I can’t tell or not if Feingold is still trying to put up appearances of being a good faith actor who’s actually interested in governing and using his position to engender good in the world

slappypaddy June 28, 2010 at 3:29 pm

if democrats are tax and spend,
and republicans are fiscal restraint,
then the death of every remaining democrat in the senate
would be bad for the banks,
not good for the banks,
as the banks are presently beholden
to a democratic largesse for their very survival,
not to mention their profitability;
therefore, steve forbes knows not his anus
from a hole in the floor of the gulf of mexico.

Radiotherapy June 28, 2010 at 3:31 pm

Dead Byrds don’t tweet, in retaliation at least.

chascates June 28, 2010 at 3:35 pm

‘Cause the only thing worse than the little people getting decent health care is safeguarding their savings.

Ducksworthy June 28, 2010 at 3:37 pm

I’ve long thought it a shame that Malcolm Sr. wasted his best sperm on 14 year old Algerian boys. You can see the results of his giving Malcolm Jr.’s mom the dregs.

Prommie June 28, 2010 at 3:37 pm

[re=607869]Come here a minute[/re]: The better metaphor here is “while the body is still warm.” “Shitting on someone’s grave” obviously implies at least a decent interval, refraining from disrespect until after the burial. And in this case, “while the body is still warm” isn’t even a metaphor, good old Steve Forbes literally didn’t wait for Byrd to cool off before he started celebrating.

JMP June 28, 2010 at 3:39 pm

This was Byrd’s comeback:

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to shut up, Steve Forbes, stop being a douche

BklynIlluminati June 28, 2010 at 3:40 pm

You know what even if the Dems had back the 60 votes or even 61 they would still find a to fuck it up. Fucking for crapsakes every bill starts great gets so watered down by deals and getting their own freaking party to vote the party line that what ever shows up isn’t worth the paper it is printed on. Whatever happened to the tyranny of the majority?? I WANT MORE TYRANNY DAMMIT. stop letting the freaking banks bend us over? Me and Paul Krugman should freaking go galt….

gurukalehuru June 28, 2010 at 3:43 pm

Steve Forbes was probably the ugliest human being to ever seek the U.S. presidency. He has a face like a potato, and not a round, cute Mr. Potato Head type potato but a real potato, long and pinched and gnarly and wrangled.
I’m surprised no one has mentioned that yet.

LittlePig June 28, 2010 at 3:44 pm

[re=607875]slappypaddy[/re]: Mehitabel says hey.

actor212 June 28, 2010 at 3:45 pm

Scott Brown’s second thoughts = Hedge fund reps in Massachussetts warning him his holdings will collapse.

Hooray For Anything June 28, 2010 at 3:50 pm

Sadly, though, if you read the reports, he’s right. For the next few days and possible rest of the current term of Congress, Scott Brown is our President. Huzzah President Brown!

comicbookguy June 28, 2010 at 3:52 pm

No no, he meant Sen Byrd is dead with votes. Not literally. Sheesh people.

ella June 28, 2010 at 3:53 pm

I’ve known odious people who have danced on other people’s graves, but never quite so publicly and in such a Riverdancey kind of way.

Slattenpat June 28, 2010 at 3:55 pm

Steve needs a new nickname. How about: “ForbeSkin.” It implies that he is more insignificant than a dick, and is occasionally surrounded by smegma.

Ducksworthy June 28, 2010 at 3:56 pm

[re=607890]gurukalehuru[/re]: Please see earlier comment re: dregs and the resultant Malcolm Stevenson “Steve” Forbes, Jr. for an explanation.

Justin Time June 28, 2010 at 3:57 pm

[re=607890]gurukalehuru[/re]: Exactly. And you know the old saying: politics is show business for ugly people. Hence, Little Steven is a mega-star.

GOPCrusher June 28, 2010 at 4:05 pm

We can’t be bailing out these banks and Wall Street, according to the Tea Bagger/Republiklan faction. But then again, we can’t pass legislation to make laws to insure that it never happens again.
Must be wonderful to go through life, so blissfully clueless.

PabaBritannica June 28, 2010 at 4:09 pm

[re=607867]joezoo[/re]: I can better your recollection of the Steve Forbes campaign: Teve Torbes, Dob Bole, At Buchanan, and of course, Lamar Alexander 2.

mcc June 28, 2010 at 4:10 pm

[re=607904]ella[/re]: The existence of Twitter is really opening up a lot of exciting new possibilities in public communication

Advocatus_Diaboli June 28, 2010 at 4:14 pm

Mr. Forbes,
Please tell us all about your accomplishments… no, the other ones besides inheriting your daddy’s fortune.

The Unfairman June 28, 2010 at 4:18 pm

Maybe he means “Good News!” in the completely unaware/sometimes sarcastic sense, ala Professor Farnsworth.

BlueStateLiberal June 28, 2010 at 4:31 pm

Where’s the stupid troll from the Cheney post? Shouldn’t he be screaming about how he hopes someone close to Forbes dies?

just pixels June 28, 2010 at 5:00 pm

He’s just baiting us. And I’ll take the bait: “That’s what Hitler would say!” Not what you were expecting is it Stevie Plunder?

Gay as Hell June 28, 2010 at 5:01 pm

Steve Forbes is the best advertisement for why you need an estate tax.

Katydid June 28, 2010 at 5:03 pm

[re=607890]gurukalehuru[/re]: Uglier than Nixon? Uglier than Eisenhower? I don’t think so. And Reagan was so wrinkled by the time he ran, with that stupid jet-black hair, he was really creepy. And Ron Paul is an ugly leprechaun. No, my friend, Forbes is just one of the ugliest people to run for president, unfortunately.

Now, if you’re talking ugly on the inside…there are SO many fucktards to choose from. Gotta give both Bushes a leg up in that competition, but Reagan ruined everything, so…tough choices my friend.

Lascauxcaveman June 28, 2010 at 5:09 pm

[re=607875]slappypaddy[/re]: [re=607892]LittlePig[/re]: archy and mehitabel. That was some choice shit.

Tommmcatt June 28, 2010 at 5:12 pm

Is he the Forbes that used to frequent The Eagle in NYC, or was it his dad? One of them did…

Tommmcatt June 28, 2010 at 5:15 pm

Feel free to close my tag after “Eagle”, should any of the Wonkette Gods feel merciful today….

Scaggsville guy June 28, 2010 at 5:53 pm

Yesterday I was just looking at an old copy of Forbes mag, in which this moron wrote a nasty editorial saying passage of the health care bill was the most undemocratic thing since Hitler. I couldn’t quite follow his reasoning. It seemed like he had already forgotten that health care was about the biggest issue Obama campaigned on, and he won the election.

user-of-owls June 28, 2010 at 7:26 pm

Forbes is well within his rights. After all, Sen. Byrd was widely known in Congressional circles as an autodidact!

HedonismBot June 28, 2010 at 7:33 pm

For Chrissakes, Steve Forbes, you creepy-looking, bug-eyed freak, I bet his body is still warm. Byrd, that is, not Scott Brown. His body is just naked.

bruiser June 28, 2010 at 7:51 pm

[re=607867]joezoo[/re]: [re=607921]PabaBritannica[/re]: Tuck off, Teve Torbes.

DustBowlBlues June 28, 2010 at 8:59 pm

This is so last year, when Sen. Spooky Doktor Tom was telling everyone who could listen he hoped “someone” wouldn’t be able to show up and vote.

Potater June 29, 2010 at 9:41 am

[re=607890]gurukalehuru[/re]: *sad walking away theme from Incredible Hulk*

Long Form Def Certificate June 29, 2010 at 12:35 pm

[re=607872]mcc[/re]: Feingold is well on his way to turning into Liebermann 2.0.

A pick as VP for a “failed” Dem candidate in 2016 — Gov. Brad Carson of Oklahoma, mayhaps? — will finish the work.

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