A Children’s Treasury of Robert Byrd Video

by Ken Layne

After his weekly appearance on Showtime at the Apollo, Robert Byrd would sometimes take his fiddle down to the Opry to rock some bluegrass. He’s no Alison Kraus, but he is dead. And that along with a half century as a senator is enough reason for a Children’s Treasury of Weird Videos.

Here’s the old Infernal Lizard or whatever he was called — Chinese Dragon? Exalted Cyclops? — muttering about god knows what. Listen to people pretend to “get the jokes.”

Here’s Senator Byrd talkin’ plain about the Racial Relations. Even Fox News reporters squirm a little when Byrd starts tellin’ about the “white niggers.” What?

Can you spot the one black person in this campaign ad? Don’t blink!

And here’s a great scene from The Phantom Menace. Listen how Robert Byrd stopped the Iraq War of 2003-20?? long before these protesters were born! He was magical.

Here’s Byrd talking about the little chap (a slave) who follows him around. Just kidding; nobody in West Virginia could afford slaves.

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Hola wonkerados.

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ManchuCandidate June 28, 2010 at 9:46 am

Two questions…

Who will be next crazy old coot of the senate?

Who will the old version of Emperor Palpatine when the Senate players do their version of Return of the Jedi? Looks like Joe Lieberman will be stuck playing two roles.

joezoo June 28, 2010 at 9:50 am

I didn’t watch the “True” video, but I assume he was capitalizing on the “Whassssup” phenomenon, yes?

FMA June 28, 2010 at 9:56 am

[re=607501]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Next? John McCain’s already there.

TGY June 28, 2010 at 10:05 am

[re=607501]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Attack of the Clones. Lieberman will play Palpatine and Jar-Jar Binks.

North of Moscow June 28, 2010 at 10:07 am

I think I did shots with Byrd at a Mule show back in ’93.

TGY June 28, 2010 at 10:07 am

When 92 years you reach, look and think as good you will not.

Manos: Hands of Fate June 28, 2010 at 10:11 am

Jay Rockerfeller better get working on booking an apperance on Austin City Limits. He’s got a state legacy to uphold.

The Toot June 28, 2010 at 10:12 am

I haz sad, because all the old-tymey fiddlin’ reminded me that John Denver too is dead.

MARCdMan June 28, 2010 at 10:12 am

That old bat was the only thing standing between DC and cleaner air. Now that he’s gone we can stop burning coal to run the A/C in the capitol complex and lower the PM2.5 level by 65%.

FMA June 28, 2010 at 10:15 am

Play that funky music, white boy!

facehead June 28, 2010 at 10:17 am

People who play fiddles are outside my comfort zone.

biscuits June 28, 2010 at 10:20 am

Senator Byrd was the best Senator ever. Here’s his bad ass speech against the Iraq War. Boy, he hated George W Bush and you have to love him for that.

norbizness June 28, 2010 at 10:22 am

I’ll never forget when he spoke out passionately about the issue of animal rights.

JMP June 28, 2010 at 10:27 am

[re=607501]ManchuCandidate[/re]: We still have Arlen Specter and Jim Bunning to kick around for a few more months, and McCain might be sticking around longer than that. It looks like Jersey’s Frank Lautenberg is now the oldest Senator, although he still seems to be mostly with it; for now.

sati demise June 28, 2010 at 10:28 am

[re=607520]biscuits[/re]: word. RIP Robert Byrd.
Now it is your duty to haunt the White House every night until our troops come home and we stop throwing big money at the military industrial complex.

Ken Layne June 28, 2010 at 10:49 am

[re=607519]facehead[/re]: Perhaps you would prefer The Dirty Three:

Jim89048 June 28, 2010 at 11:02 am

I’m pretty sure that with Byrd’s passing, West Virginia must now finally secede from the Confederacy and rename to Northwest Virginia.

Dashboard_Buddha June 28, 2010 at 11:04 am

Bummers…fiddle player(like fiddle/bluegrass music), hated GWB (hate GWB, too), against the war (against the war as well), used to be a Klansman. uh oh, buzz kill.

SuedeDwayne June 28, 2010 at 11:06 am

that’s some good fiddlin – for a minute there i thought i was watching a ken burns flick.

TGY June 28, 2010 at 11:06 am

[re=607520]biscuits[/re]: Good clip. We need more anger in the Senate, these days. I’m a bit depressed.

nappyduggs June 28, 2010 at 11:49 am

O, so it’s actually called “A Prairie Home for Klansman?” I was listening wrong.

PabaBritannica June 28, 2010 at 11:52 am

Ask to be shown someone from around Appalachia who’s grandad wasn’t terribly politically incorrect for most of their life and I’ll show you a deaf or mute guy. Not excusing the behavior, just saying that people are allowed to evolve in the right direction, you know.

He reminds me of my grandad, who was from the county beside the one Byrd was born in. They must have taught fiddle in elementary school back then.

chascates June 28, 2010 at 12:27 pm

Is there any part of West Virginia that isn’t covered with federally-paid-for-concrete? Where will the pork go now?

imissopus June 28, 2010 at 12:29 pm

[re=607539]Jim89048[/re]: Quick history lesson: West Virginia seceded from Virginia when Virginia seceded from the Union. All those poor hillbilly folk didn’t own tobacco farms and slaves and wanted nothing to do with the Confederacy. Didn’t mean they liked the black folk more, though, they just knew a lost cause when they saw one.

JackDempsey June 28, 2010 at 1:23 pm

We know there’s a rock’n’roll heaven, amirite?
Is there a back room for hucksters and blowhards, too?
Because if there is, Sen. Byrd is there, and he’s just bought hisself some Mighty Putty.

ladymacbeth June 28, 2010 at 1:59 pm

yeah man.

Lascauxcaveman June 28, 2010 at 2:27 pm

Fun fact for those of you who would try to avoid senility as long as Sen. Byrd: Mentally complex activities that employ both hands and mind can help keep you sharp. (Fiddle, piano, knitting, woodworking, model building, even crossword puzzles.)

“American Idol,” “Fox & Friends” viewing; not so much.

Neilist June 28, 2010 at 3:56 pm

[re=607632]imissopus[/re]: Nobody “liked black folks” back during the Civil War. Except Our Dusky Brothers themselves, that is. Even Lincoln was a racist. The more important thing is what they did. West Virginia fought with the Union. End of story.

[re=607519]facehead[/re]: I liked that Byrd played the fiddle, even though it did remind me of the time I had to learn the guitar part of the “Deliverance” duet. (I look more like the banjo-playing retard.) I might have a different opinion if he played the banjo, but I’ll settle for fiddle.

Not that playing a musical instrument is any indication of “good government.” Both Truman and Nixon played the piano. Although Truman had a better decoration for his instrument:

Can O Whoopass June 28, 2010 at 8:21 pm

Senator Byrd’s Speech Opposing Iraq War 3/19/03 Part 1

Senator Byrd’s Speech Opposing Iraq War 3/19/03 Part 2

Byrd got more done in 1 hour than vacation drunk Bush in 60 years.

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