Ha, ha, just kidding! Rupert and Sarah do not want to kill all the moose per se; they’re just saying that if these dumb moose are too stupid to get out of the way of our leaky industrial drilling equipment, and we end up killing each and every one of them in the process of extracting the precious, precious oil from the ground, then fuck them, you know?
No, America did not buy Alaska for the moose, back in 1867! America bought Alaska to make it “America’s Fort Knox,” because the original Fort Knox was inconveniently located in Paraguay. Sarah Palin’s casual quoting of the first person plural is intriguing; obviously she was not alive when William Seward traded two delicious American hamburgers to Russia in return for this frozen wasteland. Rupert Murdoch was alive, of course, as he is 178 years old, but in 1867 he was actually living in Australia, having been sent there as a punishment after his conviction for whatever the Victorian-era equivalent of “securities fraud” was (pickpocketing?).
In other words, Alaska secretly belongs to Australia, which means that Sarah Palin is not our problem! Perhaps she will run against Australia’s new socialist lady prime minister next year. Wait until she finds out that Australia’s right-wing party is called the “Liberal Party,” it will blow her mind. (Thanks to faithful Twitter obsessee “Matt the Lobbyist” for the tip.) [SarahPalinUSA]
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Kentucky is in America??????? Who knew?
So this means that, erm, Murdoch is Boris and Palin is Natasha?
May Palin’s precious fence be disintegrated by a typhoon of toxic chemical moose shit.
We obviously bought Alaska for its rad snowmobiling.
I don’t care why we bought that vast wasteland, but give it back.
Sarah Palin is America’s Statue of Liberty. My God I love her so.
Isn’t Fort Knox the United States’ Fort Knox?
Hey…I made up a joke! Rush, Sarah, Bill, Glen, Ann, and Rand (did I miss anyone?) charter an jet to see the oil spill first hand and it crashes into Tony Hayward’s yacht.
Pretty good, eh?
Ok…it’s more of a wish than a joke, but still.
I didn’t know there were moose in Arkansa.
[re=606347]germansteel[/re]: How about we sell it to Murdoch and Palin. They can drill, baby, drill all they want, while shooting at anything that moves from their helicopters and broadcasting how GREAT it is when there are no rules to govern anything, ever. (Since in AK it’s too cold to go outside really anyway, plus if Palin sees you moving she’ll shoot at you, and her aim is really good.)
The only condition is that, after all the wildlife has been shot and the entire country is covered in spilled oil, Palin and Murdoch have to stay there. They’re never allowed to come back, ever, no matter how much lipstick Murdoch puts on Palin.
I think you’re misreading Palin’s tweet. I think she is announcing that Murdoch just bought the entire state from the US. So it doesn’t belong to Australia, it just belongs to rupert murdoch. In addition to the oil, it has plenty of trees on which one can print what’s left of the Wall Street Journal.
I figured we purchased Alaska to use as the British did Australia, though we dump our blithering morons there instead of criminals.
Snow White Trash, or the Belle au Bois Dumbass.
[re=606344]memzilla[/re]: Headline: Moose Damages Oil Well Cap
“Bullwinkle, NOOOOoooo!” “Don’t know mah own strength”
Worst disasters to strike the US:
American Civil War
San Fransico Earthquake
Bombing of Pearl Harbor
Katrina
Sarah Palin
The Bible makes it very clear that if we don’t get the moose first, the moose will get us.
This is the first I’ve heard of the drilling ban’s overturnment, and it makes the news about 100 times worse to receive it straight from Palin’s snotty bitch twatter. The only thing worse than bad news is to hear Snowbilly gloat about it.
SHUT UP SARAH PALIN!
Oh, and no one buys AKs to make moose safe. They buy ‘em to blow ‘em into itty bitty bits.
[re=606352]MMS[/re]: Liberals! Always with the facts. Sister’s got a vision, dontchasee.
“onshore,” this word, I think it does not mean what she thinks it means.
“the Victorian-era equivalent of ‘securities fraud’” = sheep felching in New Zealand?
Actually, we bought AK to annoy Great Britain. Kinda ironic, given BP.
Fort Knox is where Kraft makes their famous Knox Gelatine® that they render from the bones of the socialist libtard prisoners from the nearby Abu Limbaugh.
If I remember correctly, a lot of people weren’t really sure why we bought Alaska at all. “Seward’s Folly,” it was called. Major oil deposits weren’t discovered there until 1957.
Sarah is Rupert’s illegitimate “anchor baby”.
[re=606376]weejee[/re]: “abu Limbaugh” Otherwise known as “Radcliff”
/central Kentucky humor
What’s this “we” shit you kangaroo-fucker?
[re=606379]doxastic[/re]: from its Wikipedia page: “Recently, Radcliff held the distinction of having the most fast food restaurants in one square mile in the United States.”
Distinction!
I actually follow the Grifter on Twitter. It’s the “new media” equivalent of a hair shirt.
Where are Rubert Murdoch’s papers!? He is illegal immigrant, send him back to kangaroo land.
Yeah, but…. Barry is going to shut them down again. Screw the activist judges and their stock portfolios.
What could go wrong with more drilling? What could go wrong by picking the Snowbilly Queen to be your Vice Presidential running mate or governor?
Wait, wait, I thought we were drilling in deep water because we couldn’t do it on land. Now is she saying she actually wants to do both?! The shock is giving me the vapors!
If we lose moose, what happen to squirrel?
We must kill the animals in AK so we don’t have to kill them in the Gulf.
Good to know our moral considerations should always be bound to the 19th Century virtue of rapacious greed.
Want to know what Rubert had done?
http://www.historic-uk.com/HistoryUK/England-History/SouthSeaBubble.htm
Charles Mackay has the best account. “Men bought machines for firing square bullets at heathens, round at Christians.”
Anyway, the question is this: If we are Originalists, and we know that good conservatives are all Originalists, then we should use Alaska strictly for its original purpose. If that original purpose is no longer being met, then we need to take away its territorial status and make Trodd happy. Let them secede. I’m sure that they’ll get much better trade deals that way. They’ll get so much money for that oil! We’ll get so much oil for our food.
Lame. If he’s trying to make a moose suit out of real moose, fuckhead Murdoch needs to embrace his inner Hannibal Lecter. Palin’s turned out to be a wuss librul, too, refusing to rape the land hard enough. She needs to take her serially pregnant daughter out into the woods and blow up a few frogs and squirrels with firecrackers, then go home to torture the cat until it shits out its intestines. It’s the ‘Mairken way!
[re=606405]Captain Justice[/re]: She wants to do both, because that makes gasoline prices fall!
You see, when BP drills in New Orleans, New Orleans gets cheap gasoline.
The oil doesn’t go to the international market. From the international market, it isn’t sold at spot prices. From that market, it doesn’t go to a refinery. From a refinery, it doesn’t go to a distribution network. No: from here to here, the end, and microwave oven quick, too.
Wait — aren’t we already supposed to have safe onshore drilling in Alaska? So she’s saying we don’t. What the hell did she do when she was governor? Oh yeah — she spent her entire half-term either trying to fire her ex-brother-in-law, trying to cover it up or running for VP. Sarah, I don’t know who else’s fifteen minutes you’re using but those are up too.
[re=606382]doxastic[/re]: So now we knows where the [re=606376]meat[/re] goes.
[re=606381]Clancy_Pants[/re]: [re=606391]BlueStateLiberal[/re]: If only a dingo had eated him when he was a baby.
We bought it to kill them all?
We’re so AWESOME!
[re=606354]lizzieborden[/re]: Actually, we here in the Dogpatch State are known to zip code aficionados as AR. A useful mnemonic is the think of “Talk Like A Pirate Day.”
[re=606352]MMS[/re]: That’s what I thought!!
I thought the extreme greenies were pushing for drilling offshore? So now Sarah Palin is celebrating a victory by the extreme greenies?
Oh good, now that we’ve resumed deep sea drilling, we can start drilling in the last place on earth that might have some oil we haven’t already extracted. Hooray! Problem solved! Energy shortage put off for a few more years! Forever. Also.
This bitch has a real animosity for wild animals. I wonder what caused that.
[re=606370]HedonismBot[/re]: The judge who ruled against happens to own “a shitload” of stock in the companies that built the blowed up rig in the Gulf. Weird huh.
“America’s Fort Knox”
This baffling phrase bears repeating. Alaska: America’s Fort Knox.
Hey have you ever been to Alaska…it’s America’s Fort Knox.
wow, just so many, many things wrong there.
Ah, wasilla. Real America’s manhattan.
She is the Yo-Yo Ma of twittering. She is also a yo-yo.
Does this mean Goldfinger will nuke Alaska? I’d pay to see that movie.
[re=606374]Decker[/re]: No, but that’s very creative.
I’ve been to Ft. Knox. It’s in Kentucky. There’s a very nice armor museum on the base not far from the gold depository. You can call AK a lot of things, but America’s Fort Knox is NOT one of them. Besides, if Sarah was into safe drilling, she wouldn’t have so many kids.
[re=606477]Radiotherapy[/re]: I think you mean she’s the Yo-Yo Mama of Twatting.
I have only three words to offer in response to this:
“FUCK OFF AND DIE.”
Okay, four words.
And we didn’t give citizenship to Rupert Murdoch so that he could rape this nation to death before dumbing it down and giving whores like Palin a soundbox.
I say add a repeal Murdoch’s citizenship provision in any immigration reform.
Kentucky won’t be part of the real America until Rand Paul is elected.
[re=606451]comicbookguy[/re]: The more confusing point is that the Administration called for a moratorium on OFFSHORE drilling for six months. Someone needs to take the time to explain to Bible Spice the difference between land and water.
We need to get serious about energy independence and drill in Ft Knox.
Doesn’t Rupert know that he could lose his citizenship and be busted back to that jail den called Australia??
Rupert Murdoch’s crime was not pickpocketing, he was convicted for beating an orphan. Beating orphans wasn’t illegal, the crime was that it was another man’s turn to beat the orphan.
[re=606446]user-of-owls[/re]: Mea Culpa. Sr. Theresa, my dead business teacher, is swatting me upside the head from where ever realm she’s currently is in.
You know, as much as I despise teh Twitter, I think it’s the perfect means of communication for Palin.
[re=606352]MMS[/re]: My only thoughts, exactly.
[re=606446]user-of-owls[/re]: Are all your closely acquainted zip code aficionados tea sipping Brummie fucks? Cuz in real Murka, we call them there letters. Well, at least about ten percent of us do. The rest just as paw what it says and get buggered in the rusted-out Studebaker in the front yard by way of an answer.
Terrorist.
no moose left to field dress….now what?!?!
Is Rupert saying we bought a second Alaska?
If this is the second, the first one must have been really great.
Many of you will remember that Sewell was targeted by Booth et al. along with Lincoln and Johnson as part of the whole Sic Semper Tyrannosaurus dealio. Clearly, Booth was a robot sent back from the future to prevent the purchase of AK, thus preventing the rise of the Palins. I have been shouting this at cars from the side of the interstate for years, but do any of you listen? No, you do not.
[re=606341]CrunchyKnee[/re]: Fort Knox is sort of in America. It’s in one of Kentucky’s dry counties.
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