america's apologist

Republican Leadership Honors Joe Barton’s Apology To BP

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Plug his hole.Remember when everybody was so outraged about actual Oil Industry Millionaire Joe Barton apologizing to BP for all the trouble America caused by allowing BP to destroy the entire Gulf of Mexico? And the GOP House leadership dragged Barton into a back room and slapped his cheeks gently with their flaccid old orange penises? And he was going to lose his spot as the ranking Republican on the powerful House Energy committee? Well, let’s let bygones be bygones, because America needs to move on.

All is forgiven, right? USA Today reports on what The Hill reported:

Following a closed-door meeting of Republicans today, House Minority Leader Rep. John Boehner, R-Ohio, told reporters that Barton apologized to fellow GOP lawmakers for his “poor choice of words” and the “issue is closed,” The Hill reports.

Hooray, the issue is closed! Everybody tell the Democrats so Joe Barton won’t end up in every Democratic campaign ad this year.

The Republicans really don’t want to win the House. Governing is annoying, anyway.

ALSO: MSNBC is reporting that two people just died working on the containment effort, and the well is suddenly gushing LOTS more crude into the Gulf of Mexico. So it’s a good time to secure Joe Barton’s position as America’s Oil Industry Man on the House energy committee.

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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  • PortlandSmartAss

    Now Barton will apologize to everyone else, for apologizing in the GOP backroom, for apologizing to BP. And he was really only apologizing to those who might have taken offense (i.e. non-apology).

  • memzilla

    As many have said: the Republitards d***-slapped Barton not for his words being wrong, but for his words being right in public, exposing their true position, as oiltards.

  • Tommmcatt

    He looks more…cobbled together…than he does like he was born from an actual human woman, doesn’t he? It’s like the guy from Silence of the Lambs was trying to build a congressman suit, but ran out of congressmen and had to use shaved possum skins to fill in the gaps.

  • Cape Clod

    ‘Barton apologized to fellow GOP lawmakers for his “poor choice of words”’

    It’s so hard to choose ‘words’ correctly. There are so many of them.

  • dijetlo

    You have to hand it to the Orange Boner, he’s exactly correct.
    ” The Republicans are facile whores for big industry, everybody knows that, there’s no reason to continue stating the obvious, the matter is closed.”

  • Gorillionaire

    Orange Boner himself has a formidable challenger for his job, ya know. How cool would that be?

  • chascates

    House regs forbid Barton from being on the energy committee another term but it was suggested he would claim he had one term as a member and one term as a chairman so if the GOP takes the house he could slide back in as chairman again. The oil companies have spent a lot of money on Joe (he gets the most money from oil companies than any other congressman)so they want to make sure their puppy is still around to bring their slippers & papers to them.

    But in the mean time revisit the time Joe stumped Secretary Chu with the question about where oil comes from:

  • DemmeFatale

    [re=604755]Tommmcatt[/re]: Really. Fetal Alcohol Syndrome much?

  • ManchuCandidate

    See that’s what makes the GOPers better than the Demrats. They forgive and how.
    Diaper pooping with whores? Forgiven.
    Telling US America your fealty to the oil companies? Forgiven.
    Fucking up various gubbiment depts? Forgiven.
    Trolling for teenagers? Forgiven.

    The Unforgiven
    1) Insulting teabaggers
    2) Rational thought
    3) Increasing taxes, even just a little bit
    4) Regulation
    5) Family values dude banging dudes
    6) Agreeing with Demrats even if it is the right thing to do.

  • Gratuitous World

    Remove the stone of shame. Attach the stone of corporatism!

  • Freedom McAwesomePants

    I for one, am voting GOP Tea Party. I f*cking hate the ocean ever since I saw Jaws. And after reading the story about archyteuthi, I want every f*cking man-killing creature in the sea destroyed.

  • germansteel

    I won’t be satisfied until someone apologizes to Sarah and Trig for not asking them how to stop the leak.

    And even then, I’ll be pissed that it took so long.

  • PsycGirl

    [re=604758]Cape Clod[/re]: Exactly. It’s not the sentiment that’s objectionable, but the words chosen to express it, specifically the clarity and unambiguous meaning of those words.

  • SayItWithWookies

    I don’t think anyone had any problem with his word choice, which was clear and direct. Oh — okay. Carry on.

  • Buttery1000

    Hoooray for corporations!

  • The Church of Realism

    Looks like Barton just got done filming Oil Bukkake 10: All Holes Still Open

  • comicbookguy

    Those two men, did they at least get a chance to apologize to BP before they died?

    Maybe their families should issue a public apology to BP on their behalf.

  • Prommie

    I would so fuck that smirk off her face. She needs a visit with the Liberal Dick of Justice.

  • Snarkalicious

    The Lord(of the Manor)’s work(in it out on the assholes of the people).

  • Prommie

    [re=604798]Prommie[/re]: Ooops, I meant that Parker creature, smirking up yonder.

  • dudettes_r_us

    The real question is how the Democrats will turn this opportunity into something where they will have to apologize.

  • GoinGreen

    I divorced my 1st wife 3 months after she revealed to me that she was a fucking republican and voted for this cocksucker in 84 – so, I guess I owe him a debt of gratitude. However, FUCK HIM!!! Paid in full!

  • Geogre

    Oh, goodie!

    “Loyalty is the new competency,” someone quipped of the Bush White House. It’s nice to see that the GOP hasn’t actually broken with W., or Cheney’s Energy Taskforce. Maybe Barton had something embarrassing on the House leadership, like proof of their moderation?

    Oh, yes: they will now all march toward their primaries, and then try to explain in a general election how they meant none of it.

  • Elephants Gerald

    [re=604798]Prommie[/re]: Hah! I wuz gonna say, thet there ain’t no smirk, it’s AWL! But you clarified, so now I cain’t crack on ya.

  • populucious

    I told the truth as I see it, and then discovered that unlike all the chalky men I golf with, my personal truth is apparently unpopular with 99.9% of the population, which was totally a shocker! So, um, sorry that my personal truth bugged you, especially if it means you might not vote for me. I will work hard on my obfuscation skills and make sure that I do not share all the frankly startling things (sea turtles cause pollution, don’t you know) I believe fervently to be true.

  • Cicada

    Barton just twatted that “Joe Barton Was Right”. He un-apologized! I guess he really likes getting slapped with flaccid old man cock. Oh, what was I thinking? He’s a Republican! That goes without saying.

  • dex

    …so Joe Barton won’t end up in every Democratic campaign ad this year.

    yeah, like that was ever gonna happen.

  • chascates

    [re=604868]Cicada[/re]: That tweet has been removed. Boehner must have given Smokey Joe a minder.

  • Darkness

    Paintball with crude oil is kinda kinky.

  • Mad Farmer Manifest

    [re=604755]Tommmcatt[/re]: You, sir, are an American Hero.

  • GOPCrusher

    [re=604876]dex[/re]: Exactly. Tim Kaine is an asshole if he doesn’t take advantage of the gift that the Republiklans laid at his doorstep.
    America needs to move on? Hell, Republiklans still take every opportunity they can to remind the world that Clinton got a blow job. From a woman, no less.