David Vitter's Beloved Drunken Aide Slashes Girlfriends

Remember diaperman David Vitter, the repugnant squeaky-voiced whore-user who most infamously forces his hookers to change his poopy diapers, and also was a client of the DC Madam who then killed herself? Remember? He's one of the main Republicans in the Senate, still. Well, his taxpayer-funded staffers are just the kind of people you'd expect David Vitter to keep on the payroll as Top Aides fordecades, because who else would want violent psychopathic drunken drivers as top Senate staffers?

 ABC News has this gross story, about a very special Date Night with Vitter aide Brent Furer, who is regularly arrested for various crimes:

After drinking at a restaurant, the two returned to Furer's Capitol Hill apartment, the report says. Furer "would not let her leave." He "pulled on her coat, which caused it to rip," then "pulled out a knife and stabbed [her] in the hand," the police report says.

Charging documents allege that Furer became angry when he found phone numbers for other men in her blackberry. He smashed her phone when she tried to call 911, the records say, and he shoved her to the floor when she tried to leave, then held his hand over her mouth and threw her on a bed.

[The woman] told police Furer "uttered the words to her, 'Do you want to get serious.'" Then, the arrest warrant states, Furer "grabbed an unknown object and held it under her neck. The suspect asked the complainant, 'Do you want to die?' The complainant replies and she stated, 'No, I don't want to die.'"

Furer's main job at Vitter's Senate offices? Working on "women's issues." Ha ha, like, do women want to die? Why are they so self-defeating? (The woman needed nine stitches to close up the slash on her chin from Furer's knife.)

David Vitter and his entire staff should be dropped in a septic tank, and then that septic tank should be blown up with carpet bombs, as a test of America's strength in this time of National Shame and International Decline. [ ABC News via, separately, Wonkette operatives "Dan" and "Danielle"]