The other day we hit 911 posts on Twitter, which is a magickal number used to call the police when your neighbors are on the crack again at 4 o’clock in the morning and also the infamous/dreadful day when America officially began its self-fulfilling prophecy to topple like a stupid bloated giant full of ass-cancer and institutional paranoia. In other words, “Follow us on Twitter!”
True, much of what we post on the Twitter are just headlines to the posts you’re already reading here, but maybe you like Twitter for some reason, and like to click on that to end up where you might go anyway? Who knows what drives people, these days! ALSO: We do other stuff on Twitter, because sometimes there are jokes and comments even too trivial for a political-humor blog. We pointlessly recycle the bleats of Wonkette comrades and former editors, too, because why not. [Wonkette Twitter]
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In other news, Flavor Flav now officially believes Wonkette to be a joke.
I would love to but I have to refrain from doing anything besides occasionally perusing the tweets of freakishly boorish mugwumps because I once drunkenly made a vow to commit seppuku if I ever uttered the words “I retweeted the funniest thing today.”
Thanks so much for the invitation. I’ll check it out right away. No, really, I mean it. It’s on my list of things to do. Seriously, I will.
So like nine hunderd and elevendy in one day?
Is that alot? Is that alittle?
What’s Tweeter?
Am I supposed to have that on my internet?
Is that what my Grandkids are using?
Should I call Packard Bell and ask?
What’s the AOL Keyword for that thing?
Why don’t they ever return my calls?
I’m on a fixed income.
I haven’t heard Bill O’Reilly talk about it.
Can you make my computer faster.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s to not click any clickies I find in here, even ones I linked to myself. Nice try, Ken.
This post makes me think of a funny story that Bush told the American people once..
Nevermind, you probly heard it.
[re=603661]ken “flavor flav” layne[/re]: get up, get, get, get, get down.
I say Wonkette’s yacht be re-christen “The 911″ in honor of this.
[re=603685]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: I christen thee the Flying Wasp.
I love teh Wonkette a lot but I will never join Twitter. Have you ever had someone stalk you? That shit is hell; it’s also the reason why I have no compulsion to inform the public of what I’m doing minute to minute. 99.9% wouldn’t give a shit. .1% are stalkers.
twitter is a gateway drug. you may think you will only tweet once or twice, only to find yourself trembling in agitation, half-suppressing a giggle while you try to lick electrons off the inside wall of a dumpster. not for me, no sir.
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Oh goddammit all right.
[re=603699]slappypaddy[/re]: absolutely. It starts off all innocent, you started tweeting some new breakfast cereal you are trying out, tweeting some new people you met, or tweeting the family pet. Next thing you know you are naked and crusty, polishing anus and cock for tweet in the back alley.
Always forget.
So, Wonkette is no longer a disgrace? On Twitter? Jolly good.
i can’t say anything in 160 characters…whoa i just did!
No thanks. I already did CB radio back in the 1970′s.
Fool me once, uh, shame on me. Fool me … fool me… fool me…. Won’t get fooled again!
I moved back from DC to the city of my Birf, Manhattan, on the Eve of the 5th Anniversary of Teh 9/!!zes, and after all the Mid-Term political grandstanding the Elite Republifucks did to exploit the Tragedies, where they pretty much just squatted over the WTC Site and dumped a huge steaming shit pile on it, (See: SkumFuck: Ghouliani, Rudy), on the Weekend Of the 5th Anniversary my then GF @ the time cued up Laurie Anderson’s live rendition of ‘O Superman’, for me (that Anderson did in Times Square a week after the Towers fell), which helped get the weeping finally out, and from that moment on it became a Joking Matter for us.
That we exploited at every given opportunity, like anytime we saw the numbers ’9′ and ’11′ together in *any* combination.
Good to see that Wonkette is also onboard with this.
Whoa! I read this at exactly 9:11am. Freaky, right?
PLEASE NOBODY *START* USING TWITTER! THIS MESSAGE WAS NOT FOR YOU PEOPLE, THE PURE, the last clean Americans.
This message was only for those of you who’ve already fallen. If you use the Twitter, for god’s sake at least “follow Wonkette” so you can read occasional Wonkette-style blurbs which are not on this Internet Website called wonkette. THAT IS ALL WE ARE SAYING, DON’T GO DO ANYTHING FOOLISH, ANYTHING YOU’LL REGRET … anything *new*, we mean, related to Twitter.
THIS CLARIFICATION HAS BEEN APPROVED BY THE MANAGEMENT
THIS 22 DAY OF JUNE
20 AND 10
GOD HELP YE ALL.
Are you saying we shouldn’t tweet while driving? F U!
[re=603784]Ken Layne[/re]: Whew, that’s a relief!
The local newspaper had an article about how people are being fired from their jobs for things they post on Facebook, I can only assume that Twitter will be next. I curse Al Gore everyday for inventing the Intertubes.
Haha, never mind, ignore this whole post. We’ve actually made 7,915 twitter tweets on the Twitter, that “911″ must’ve been some burp on the Twitter, which you may have noticed IS ALWAYS BROKEN. Go Twitter, go USA!
A single tear rolls down zombie Neal Postman’s cheek.
“Is that alot? Is that alittle?”
It’s definitely an alot. http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html
[re=603784]Ken Layne[/re]: Oh Ken, Ken, I didn’t realize you were actually -using- Twitter for outbound traffic. It’s OK to monitor Snowbillie’s twats for hilarious idiocy. But to use it yourself…I’m saddened, terribly saddened.
I never could understand why anybody went for the CB craze, either.
Yours in curmudgenlynous,
ZRF
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