Florida Loves Charlie Crist’s Sexy New Independent Spirit

by Ken Layne

Go Charlie Crist!America’s favorite recently-married orange Floridian, Governor Charlie Crist, had to quit the Republican Party because the teabaggers didn’t want him to be the new U.S. senator. Why do teabaggers hate Republicans so much? Doesn’t matter! Charlie now has a healthy lead in the three-way or four-way race for Senate, while dumb wingnut Marco Rubio is currently 11 points down and Democrat Rep. Kendrick Meek has dropped way down to third place but is at least ahead of gross gazillionaire Jeff Greene — the Democratic nomination won’t be settled until August 24, and Greene may well buy the race for himself, and then he can celebrate with his special friends Heidi Fleiss and Mike Tyson (both of whom are on Florida’s currency and/or license plate.)

Greene made his fortune betting on Florida’s housing collapse, but he’s not the only FL Senate candidate whose shows up in a Google news search for “Florida foreclosure.” Tea Party sweetheart Rubio’s own house in Tallahassee is currently in foreclosure, whoops! Rubio own(ed) the house with Rep. David Rivera, because they lived together in this house, the two of them, when “they were in Tallahassee for legislative sessions and other business.” Ha ha, what?

Crist is at 42 percent today, compared to Rubio’s 31 percent and Meek’s lousy 14 percent; Meek has been going south ever since Crist ditched the GOP. [TampaBay.com/AP/TPM]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 44 comments }

ManchuCandidate June 21, 2010 at 9:40 am

Ah, the political strategerical brilliance of teabaggers. Where’s your teabag now? Oh yeah, 2nd place.

crapshooter102 June 21, 2010 at 9:42 am

Can we get the Florida Greene to donate some of his Gazillions to the South Carolin Greene? Are they any kin? Lots of intrigue here. Inquiring minds need to know.

Manos: Hands of Fate June 21, 2010 at 9:43 am

I prefer Meeks, but man Crist winning would be such a smack in the face for the GOP. Suck it assholes.

choinski June 21, 2010 at 9:43 am

No Teabagger there, just alot of hot water.

Has he announced with whom he will caucus with if he wins? Or will revealing that erode his lead?

The Silver Fox June 21, 2010 at 9:54 am

Crist thumping Rubio might finally convince the teabaggers to go back to RV-ing or to their adult communities to watch the Tee Vee or whatever it is that they do. Good for America, but bad for comedy and could mean no more children’s treasuries of pics of these slobs invading our fair District of Columbia with signs.

This is a tough one.

Nappied Hypotenuse June 21, 2010 at 9:54 am

[re=602855]choinski[/re]: Crist said he would be an independent voice for Florida. He also promised to punch Joe Lieberman in the nutsack.

JamesMichaelCurley June 21, 2010 at 9:57 am

Once there was a ‘Tea Party’ movement which was going to decimate the Democratic Party. Soon, it seems, all that will be left is a used desiccated tea bag left by Grandma on a little dish next to her dentures.

progressiveinga June 21, 2010 at 9:58 am

Marco Rubio is just like Barbara Boxer’s hair………sooo yesterday.

I Heart Accuracy June 21, 2010 at 10:01 am

Beware the Cuban Surge. Just sayin’. And ew sorry that didn’t sound right.

memzilla June 21, 2010 at 10:01 am

The collision of the lobbyists for Big Oil and Big Tourism should be causing conservatard heads to explode in a few weeks. Florida will be the site of the splattering.

Look for OIL-SOAKED TRUCKNUTZ in stores soon!

norbizness June 21, 2010 at 10:02 am

Apparently Kendrick Meek must have strangled a whole buncha bums to death to explain a major party candidate pulling in one out of every seven Floridians.

JMP June 21, 2010 at 10:04 am

If Crist wins, I would guess he’d follow a certain other independent and caucus with the Republicans and claim to be one of them, but actually vote with the Democrats nearly every single time.

donner_froh June 21, 2010 at 10:06 am

Another great dispatch from the Associated Press.

“The Internal Revenue Service investigated spending by Rubio and more than two dozen other party leaders under former state chairman Jim Greer, who faces criminal charges for his own freewheeling spending of dollars on himself.”

SPENDING OF DOLLARS ON HIMSELF?!?

Jim Greer sounds like a stone criminal.

S.Luggo June 21, 2010 at 10:07 am

You can never just “ditch” the GOP as if it were a bad date. You can only try to lose it in a high speed car chase, like the one in “Bullet”.

[re=602855]choinski[/re]: Charlie will choose to caucus with Scott Brown, if you get my meaning, if you get my drift.

weejee June 21, 2010 at 10:08 am

Appears that Meek may inherit the Earth, but few gators.

S.Luggo June 21, 2010 at 10:11 am

[re=602872]JMP[/re]: That’s called AC/DC. Or, AC in the DC?

actor212 June 21, 2010 at 10:17 am

Florida is finding the Teabaggers limp and flavorless, while Crist is the new hotness.

MissyLissa June 21, 2010 at 10:18 am

I like new Charlie. I enjoy his slightly bitchy facebook status updates (after getting lots of angry feedback over vetoing the “mandatory ultrasound and description of featus before abortion bill” he posted “Thank you for your feedback on my veto of HB 1143. Whatever your view, most of us can agree that government intrusion between a patient and doctor is not advisable.”). I love that he’s now saying he’d be in favor of overturning the ban on gay adoptions.

Of course it’s much easier to say that he’s in favor of overturning the gay adoption ban if he’s in the Senate where he won’t actually have any authority to do that. Would have been slightly more helpful if he would have don this a few years ago when he had the ability to actually get something done.

Katydid June 21, 2010 at 10:19 am

[re=602860]The Silver Fox[/re]: Crist thumping Rubio might finally convince the teabaggers to go back to RV-ing…good for America but bad for comedy…

Not a chance. The baggers can and will interpret anything the way Fox News tells them to, and guaranteed they’ve already written the memos on how to spin this if Crist wins. I can’t ever figure out how the crazies will spin it, and it makes my head hurt to try, but I know they will. Since stealing elections in Florida is just about mandatory, they’ll probably go with that, but say only the Dems do it, or only since 2010, or somesuch.

Prommie June 21, 2010 at 10:21 am

Which one does Jeb Bush support? That one will win, the Bush-Miami Cuban connection goes back to the Bay of Pigs, through the Kennedy Assasination, and Watergate. The Miami Cubans are the Bush family’s brownshirts. They assasinate presidents, bug offices, steal elections, whatever it takes.

Geogre June 21, 2010 at 10:23 am

Apparently, again from Mother Jones, but this time from a not good article, the FGOP is saying that Tea Party candidates are actually Democrats, that they’re Alvin Greenes!

Wow. You whore yourself out just once — a few times, and then suddenly all of these ugly men are at your door demanding sex. It’s tough being the FGOP!

Katydid June 21, 2010 at 10:25 am

[re=602889]Katydid[/re]: [re=602860]The Silver Fox[/re]: One more thing. The baggers are the best thing to ever happen to the GOP, because they get to let their freak flag fly, then claim racism is so yesterday, so no one’s a racist, yada yada. They’re never going to let go of the baggers. They won’t need to lose them when they get back in power because the baggers will never turn on them, because they are, in fact, a wholly owned subsidiary of the Republican party. If the baggers turned and ran, the GOP would chase them down the rabbit hole.

S.Luggo June 21, 2010 at 10:28 am

[re=602874]donner_froh[/re]:

Just a cotton pickin‘ minute. (Or should I say, tar ball pickin’ minute?) There is clear and irrefutable precedent for Marco el Guapo‘s and Grrer’s actions. http://tinyurl.com/ybykqcw

MissyLissa June 21, 2010 at 10:35 am

[re=602891]Prommie[/re]: Jeb is openly for Marco.

Even with the power of Bush I suspect Marco will run into two problems. 1) He’s too red for the very purple citizens of the Orlampa area. 2) I suspect the rednecks up in northern Florida will not want to vote for some guy with a ferign name like “Marco” or “Rubio”. If you can rebrand him in the Panhandle as Mark Ruby he would have the lead.

PsycGirl June 21, 2010 at 10:37 am

[re=602874]donner_froh[/re]: Until he demands a Lear jet for flying around, he’s bush league.

S.Luggo June 21, 2010 at 10:38 am

[re=602888]MissyLissa[/re]:

Just a cotton pickin‘ minute. (Or should I say, tar ball pickin’ minute?) There is clear and irrefutable precedent for Marco el Guapo‘s and Grrer’s actions. http://tinyurl.com/ybykqcw

[re=602874]donner_froh[/re]: The “new” Charlie is, in fact, the old Charlie, i.e. the Charlie before he had to whore himself out to the right wing of das GOP. He can now admit that voluntarily went to see both “Sex and the City” and “Sex and the City 2″.

JMP June 21, 2010 at 10:43 am

[re=602871]norbizness[/re]: Meek’s committed the crime of being black in the South.

An Outhouse June 21, 2010 at 10:43 am

The teabaggers should be so proud that they helped get another alternative life styler elected to the senate.

I Heart Accuracy June 21, 2010 at 11:18 am

[re=602891]Prommie[/re]: True true, until the Cubans speak, nobody really knows whose day is going to be ruined. Either way, cocktails at Monty’s Marina!! Hola Fidel!

Tundra Grifter June 21, 2010 at 11:24 am

The TeaBaggers suffer from too much ClusterFox. If they watch that crap long enough they begin to actually believe a leaderless and generally disorganized mob composed of 2% of the voting population, that won’t donate money to any campaign, is going to decide who wins in November.

You betcha!

Capitol Hillbilly June 21, 2010 at 11:40 am

Chain Gang Charlie is from St. Pete so he has home field advantage in the I-4 Corridor which is the swing vote in Florida.

Rubio and Meek will split the polarized South Florida vote.

Folks in north Florida would prefer a white guy but they’ll settle for orange over black or Latino.

chaste everywhere June 21, 2010 at 12:03 pm

[re=602912]S.Luggo[/re]: He can now admit that voluntarily went to see both “Sex and the City” and “Sex and the City 2″.

Went to see them? I thought he wrote them. Y’kno, “gay men playing with Barbie dolls” and all.

Abou Diaby June 21, 2010 at 12:14 pm

[re=602891]Prommie[/re]:

Which one does Jeb Bush support? That one will win, the Bush-Miami Cuban connection goes back to the Bay of Pigs, through the Kennedy Assasination, and Watergate. The Miami Cubans are the Bush family’s brownshirts. They assasinate presidents, bug offices, steal elections, whatever it takes.

I doubt if Rubio will even win in Miami. The Cuban olds aren’t that big of a voting bloc anymore and most of their children are democrats. If Jeb and Rubio hadn’t made the terrible decision of trying to ride the Teabagger wave, they would’ve won handidly. They messed up by forgetting that crazy doesn’t play well amongst Floridians.

assistant/atlas June 21, 2010 at 12:33 pm

[re=602861]Nappied Hypotenuse[/re]: “He also promised to punch Joe Lieberman in the nutsack.”

Got my vote right there…

…if I lived in Florida. Although if I did, I would probably kill myself, so it’s probably best I can’t vote for Charlie Crist.

Senile Agitation June 21, 2010 at 12:34 pm

[re=603029]Abou Diaby[/re]: Excepting Katherine Harris. Or was I thinking of some other nut on horseback?

TGY June 21, 2010 at 12:41 pm

No matter who wins, Florida will still be the land of hanging chads and butterfly ballots. Thanks again for W! Fuckers.

Aurelio June 21, 2010 at 1:23 pm

Charlie now has a healthy lead in the three-way or four-way race for Senate…. A three- way with Charlie Crist? Uh, no thanks. And a four-way is absolutely out of the question.

Freedom McAwesomePants June 21, 2010 at 2:08 pm

[re=603125]Aurelio[/re]: What if that three-way included Schock and Brown? mmm, Schock and Brown.(that is the same codename for the gay community’s attempt to repeal DADT, ironically.)

finette June 21, 2010 at 2:17 pm

Greene may well buy the race for himself…

He won’t need to, as his name will be first on the ballot! Keep up here.

GOPCrusher June 21, 2010 at 5:15 pm

[re=602889]Katydid[/re]: Tea Bagger Response=We meant to do that.

morecowbell June 22, 2010 at 5:03 am

[re=602872]JMP[/re]: That would make Lieberman the anti-Crist.

102415 June 22, 2010 at 9:53 am

[re=603696]morecowbell[/re]: Nice work for so early in the morning I should try it!

I spent 2004 working in FL. for the acorns. It is a strange and fabulous place. Secondlife comes to mind though I’m not sure why.

311 truth movement June 23, 2010 at 7:04 pm

I heard he’s straight.

billcostley June 25, 2010 at 11:23 am

CHENEY spits as

CHENEY spits as the AM-radio
says Crist polls 42%, Rubio 31%.
“Where the f’r all those greasy
ex-Cubans?” forgetting it’s only
angloradio, not radioespanol
where Rubio polls a cool 110%.
“I’m told Rosy Ruiz is 100% for
that greasy bag of plantain chips!”.
2 bar-flies stare blankly as he raves;
neither understands English, both
are (indeterminate) war escapees.

(25 JUN 10, Santa Clara CA)v1

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