Too many black bean burritos

The third installment of Wonkette’s Ayn Rand journalism comic is here! Vomit along with Ayn, by catching up with our first and second installments … only then will you be prepared for Chapter III.

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  1. Sometimes I wonder what the world would be like if we hadn’t fought all those stupid wars last century (and this century it seems). Imagine those millions of lives and trillions of dollars. We’d have theme parks on Mars by now.

    Now I have to wonder what the world would be like it Ayn died before writing those books.

  2. I think maybe the Teabaggers are getting a little too much credit for book larnin’. I doubt half of those hillbillies have even heard of Ayn Rand. They just do whatever Glenn Beck tells them.

  3. I’ve been looking for at least the last 5 years for a Graphic Novel that I saw on the intertubies once during the heighth of the Herr Busch Administration that was done in the Jack Chick cartoon tract style. It featured Leo Strauss at the Chicago School and it was written as a History of the Neo-Con Movement in the USA.

    Google has failed me miserably, perhaps the Wonketerriatte knows where I can my mitts on that sucker?

  4. At last, shrugged. Thanks Intern Benjamin.

    When studying biology/evolution in ’62, the creationist parody movie Inherit the Wind was two-years old, and Ayn’s Atlas Shrugged was 5-years old and starting to get serious shagged. Never in my naïve 15-year old brain was there a thought that yahoos who embrace intelligent design creationism and teatards neo-objectivism would be getting kowtowed to by politicos when I was a granpa. Sorry Neilist, guns won’t work for this, we needs very large oak stakes and bales of garlic to kill these beasts. Well maybe silver bullets.

  5. In fairness to “Ain”, the whole concept of “Black President” would be pretty stunning to anyone from Ye Oldene Tymes.

    Even someone from the 90’s would be pretty surprised by “Black President, but NOT Colin Powell”.

  6. I was in Somalia recently, which is what Galt Gulch looks like in real world. The curious thing is that anyone who can flees north to Somaliland where there actually is a functioning government to oppress them. Course the are not Americans so that may be the difference.

  7. [re=602897]weejee[/re]: Have you ever read H.L. Mencken’s firsthand descriptions of the Scopes trial, on which Inherit the Wind is based? There is nothing new under the sun.

  8. I know a disturbing number of libertarians and tea party sympathizers (yes there’s heavy overlap, but not complete) and a few actual tea party members. I would say about 90% of them regularly praise the wisdom of Ayn, yet fewer than 10% have actually read any of her works in it’s entirety in the past decade or two. She’s a figurehead for their religious belief system and how closely what she actually wrote tracks to what they want to believe she wrote is largely irrelevant to them.

    To be fair she was a total whackjob whose ideas at best are asocial, amoral, and fundamentally opposed to human nature. But her acolytes make her look good in comparison.

  9. Ayn Rand was many things–a dangerous psychotic, a megalomaniac, and so forth. But it’s hard to say she was a racist. See, e.g., (which begins “[r]acism is the lowest, most crudely primitive form of collectivism” and goes on from there). In fact, Rand would be pretty appalled at some of those in the South that are trying to claim her mantle, judging from what she says about “states rights:”

    “The policy of the Southern states toward Negroes was and is a shameful contradiction of this country’s basic principles. Racial discrimination, imposed and enforced by law, is so blatantly inexcusable an infringement of individual rights that the racist statutes of the South should have been declared unconstitutional long ago.

    The Southern racists’ claim of ‘states’ rights is a contradiction in terms: there can be no such thing as the ‘right’ of some men to violate the rights of others. The constitutional concept of ‘states’ rights’ pertains to the division of power between local and national authorities, and serves to protect the states from the Federal government; it does not grant to a state government an unlimited, arbitrary power over its citizens or the privilege of abrogating the citizens’ individual rights.

    It is true that the Federal government has used the racial issue to enlarge its own power and to set a precedent of encroachment upon the legitimate rights of the states, in an unnecessary and unconstitutional manner. But this merely means that both governments are wrong; it does not excuse the policy of the Southern racists.”

    Snark aside, given the myriad avenues available for tearing her ideas apart, this one is a pretty low blow.

  10. I was working in a bookstore for the first half of 2009. Plenty of old aged male conservative types came in asking for Ayn Rand’s books, usually asking “you have the books by Ann Rand on Capitalism?”

    I’m pretty sure they thought it was just going to be something written on Glenn Beck-levels about how “taxes are theft” and “business people are pretty awesome, here are some nice stories about great business people.” Most of them left without buying anything.

  11. As a Teabagger, I would like to note that this President Obama is doing a great job. Here we have a man of remarkable skill, instinct, and courage. His articulation leaves us in awe. The way his gaze toggles forty-five degrees to the left and then forty-five degrees to the right displays a strong command of reading skills.

    His quick wit realized that he should edit his reading, on the spot, when the West Point cadets failed to clap when they were supposed to. This is a man who has travelled to more states than any other American, and walked into a White House window.

    But, unlike that bird presently sleeping under my window, this President Obama picked himself up, moved on, and continues to dazzle us with his brilliance on a daily basis. I did not think it would be possible for him to lose Keith Olbermann.

  12. [re=602930]Katydid[/re]: No, seriously. They don’t have to know what it looks like, or what it’s about. They don’t have to know what it’s called, or who it’s by, or have ever heard of it before. A librarian can find it.

    All hail the noble librarian, master of the reference indices.

  13. I used to think that this unspeakable woman’s work was only read by a few disgruntled and highly intelligent teenage girls who would then very quickly grow out of it somewhere between the 8th and 10th grade. I never knew there were guys who were into it, holding fast to this cunt face’s greed-is-good teachings through their 50’s and 60’s even. Oh, well.

  14. [re=602893]Dustin de Wynde[/re]: Did you possibly come across that comic at the old news compiler site That sounds awfully familiar and I am pretty sure that is where I saw it. Cursor has been gone for awhile but the people that put it together are still out there on the internets.

  15. [re=602922]Formerly Preferred[/re]: You make a good point. I have read this essay, and while Ayn was never outwardly racist, I believe she supported an inherently racist social system that would effectively and predictably create a minority underclass— an especially self-serving notion for someone already privileged with opportunity. She thought that if we removed all welfare systems, then everyone would be on equal footing and anyone in poverty (AKA minorities) was there at their own fault for not being GALT enough. This is, I believe, absolutely insane.

    And while Ayn outwardly spoke against racism, let us not forget her massive intolerance of homosexuals. She was no friend to civil rights: “[T]o proclaim spiritual sisterhood with lesbians… is so repulsive a set of premises from so loathsome a sense of life that an accurate commentary would require the kind of language I do not like to see in print.”

  16. [re=602947]Dolmance[/re]: The reason her work is favored among some adolescents is that all her novels feature a charismatic, iconoclastic, willful brilliant artist who won’t bend to the standards of the masses and who constantly swims, thrashes and argues his way upstream against the ignorant tide. It’s not surprising that her most vivid writing comes in depicting this sort of personality.
    Anyway, this character has quite a bit of appeal to teenagers, who then appropriate Rand’s political philosophy since it’s the main character’s as well, and obviously the only way your Roarkes and Galts and whoever can attain their full potential. And when they’re young, these two-dimensional idols serve as a marker for outsized achievement — by middle age, though, they’re usually turned into lists of oppressors who’ve kept the great narrator (in the reader’s personal life) down.
    Fortunately most people don’t follow that course and place Rand’s work in the category of self-serving myopic anthems perpetrated by a hugely egotistical oversimplifier. In other words, next to their Styx albums.

  17. [re=602935]Brick Oven Bill[/re]: News flash, B.O.B. George W. Bush used a teleprompter. Bill Clinton used a teleprompter. Ronald fucking Reagan used a fucking teleprompter. Basically, anyone who has a long speech to read and lacks the memory capacity to memorize every single word of it verbatim uses a fucking teleprompter. Obama has many talents, but – as far as I know – he never claimed to have photographic memory.
    Really, I don’t understand this stupidass TELEPROMPTERZ!!11!! meme. Basically, Obama hasn’t had a blowjob in the Oval Office, and he’s not a dribbling buffoon like Dubya, so you people are just throwing shit at him to see what sticks. Why don’t you go wave around a misspelled sign somewhere.

  18. [re=602960]Benjamin Frisch[/re]: She was crazier than a shithouse rat, no doubt, and nowhere is that clearer than the massive contradictions that she herself embodied. Her views on homosexuality were an excellent example of that.

    Your point about Rand supporting a system that would inevitably lead to a permanent social underclass composed of minorities is well-taken, though it’s a more nuanced point than the one made in the…comic? Graphic novel? Comic novel? Let’s go with comic novel. Of course, Rand’s response would presumably be that even if a permanent underclass were created, the race of that underclass would be irrelevant. That’s insane and divorced from social reality, but it’s the very opposite of “racist” in the classic sense of that term.

    I’m also not sure how much you can castigate her for speaking from a position of privilege–as a female Russian emigre during the 1930s she wasn’t exactly endowed with the advantages of a Rockefeller. She was white, which matters a lot, and eventually rich and dictatorial and (as noted above) ten pounds of crazy in a five pound sack, but I think it’s fair to say that she succeeded against a fairly long set of odds.

  19. [re=602905]HedonismBot[/re]: You have the percentage right, but but the ignorance level rests just above name recognition. ALL of them know the name of Ayn Rand, but less then 10% could accurately describe her philosophy. Strange…it’s the same thing with Jesus.

  20. You guys are too rough. They’re just comic books without the pictures. Reading Rand as an adolescent was revelatory in its lack of religious or moralistic hypocracy, contrary to the usual Kentucky-fried shit being shoveled at me. And I still think of Ellsworth Toohey when I see Ben Brantley’s byline.

  21. [re=602897]weejee[/re]: Guns don’t kill ideas. Ideas kill ideas. Guns kill people with ideas so that ideas can kill people with guns. But only ideas of high caliber. Or high stopping power. Or lots of megatonnage. Uh.

  22. [re=602922]Formerly Preferred[/re]: Right. Ayn Rand was, on balance, a despicable human being, but she was not a racist. She also didn’t look like Alan Greenspan.

  23. [re=602947]Dolmance[/re]: When I hit Kollitch in ’65 it seemed to be a rite of passage to run through a 6-week infatuation with Ms. Rand in either freshman and sophomore year (for us males anyway). I must ashamedly confess that I too thought she was cool for a few weeks.

    We weren’t advanced enough to encounter her in high school.

  24. [re=602922]Formerly Preferred[/re]: This is true. One can only demonize Ayn Rand with one horn. And maybe a barbed tail. And maybe a bushy mustache scribbled on. But not two horns.

  25. [re=602960]Benjamin Frisch[/re]:
    “[T]o proclaim spiritual sisterhood with lesbians… is so repulsive a set of premises from so loathsome a sense of life that an accurate commentary would require the kind of language I do not like to see in print.”

    Me thinks the lady doth protest too much.

    Randy Ayn / Nailin Palin ’12

  26. When I was a young teen, I read either The Fountainhead of Atlas Shrugged, I can’t remember which. It struck me as an interesting and inspirational story about a struggling young architect who makes good.
    I never knew there was any political message there at all, but I was young and stupid.
    Now, Robert Heinlein, there was a fascist prick.

  27. [re=602921]rev_matt_y[/re]: the teabagger movements’s financial backers are trying to morph sarah palin into their version of ayn rand , who was a shithead to start with .

  28. [re=602970]SayItWithWookies[/re]:
    “Fortunately most people don’t follow that course and place Rand’s work in the category of self-serving myopic anthems perpetrated by a hugely egotistical oversimplifier. In other words, next to their Styx albums.”

    That so made my early afternoon.

  29. [re=603106]gurukalehuru[/re]: I read The Fountainhead and was actually inspired, despite being a liberal yuppie. Law school was wrapping up and I found myself deciding if I wanted to go Keating and sell out to the big firm for big money, or go Roarke and find a modest government job and actually like myself. On the other hand, I couldn’t finish Atlas Shrugged because of the rampant capitalist propaganda blatantly championing the rule that everyone is free, but the people who have money are more free than those who don’t, and if they don’t have money it’s because they don’t work hard enough. Nevermind that it’s because they weren’t born on a transcontinental railroad or in a copper mine. Everyone has the right to be free to crush the freedoms of others!

    The Fountainhead said the same thing in the context of art, which is innocuous compared to major industry, so the negative aspects of the elitism didn’t shine through as much. That’s why I liked it better. It’s funny that the teabaggers think they’re on the same level as the paragons of objectivistic success, because Dagny Taggart would be happy to dig up their trailer parks and lay rail if it meant she would win.

  30. [re=603106]gurukalehuru[/re]: You’re thinking of The Fountainhead. The best part I remember is that he builds a public housing development, only to destroy it when the people in charge changed the building. His speech in court was basically, “blah blah blah I made the plans blach blah blah self sufficent something or other blah blah blah creators and second handers blah blah blah I gave it to you and I can take it away.”

    He was found not guilty. And with a defense like that, who could blame him?

  31. [re=602983]HedonismBot[/re]: I coulda sworn that i heard those cadets clapping . but i wasn’t watching the fox news version ….. and i don’t believe that all those manly men and women soldiers hate obama . it is ‘odd’ that the teabaggers need to believe it tho .

  32. [re=602983]HedonismBot[/re]: Bill Clinton recited a speech from memory while the teleprompter showed the wrong speech. That’s why conservatives constantly praise Bill Clinton. Because conservatives are intellectually consistent.

    [re=602970]SayItWithWookies[/re]: “In other words, next to their Styx albums.”

    Why you gotta be such an angry young man, when your future looks quite bright to me?

  33. I interpreted this less as an “Ayn Rand was racist” message than an “Ayn Rand was from the 1950s” message. Hell, had she just traveled to the 1970s she would have experienced an incredible culture shock, but traveling to 2010 would have caused an aneurysm. JFK seems to have been the only person who predicted we’d have a black president within 50 years, and Lord only knows what Madame Ayn would have thought of that collectivist bastard.

  34. [re=603261]Potater[/re]: Oh, she hated JFK. Hated him. “Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country” drove her around the bend because she felt it had such a collectivist, socialist insinuation.

    I’ve been reading a bio of Rand called Goddess Of The Market and I strongly recommend it to any wonkeratti who are interested. She was a nasty and emotionally fragile person who could not handle even a tiny hint of criticism of her work and was uninterested in acknowledging that any contradictory positions were valid. She would have approved, I think, of the aspect of the Tea Partiers that demands ideological purity from its candidates. As an avowed atheist, though, she would have been appalled by anyone who mentioned religion or claimed the US is a Christian nation.

    She was also, as someone mentioned upthread, appalled by racism and unimpressed with the states’ rights argument, as she felt that even state governments should not interfere with individual rights. And like our friend Rand Son of Ron Paul, she abhorred the 1964 Civil Rights Act because she felt it infringed too much on business owners by codifying into law a ban on discrimination in hiring and employment and general running of businesses. Basically, the woman’s insistence on seeing everything through the lens of her rationalist philosophy prevented her from taking into account the role that race has had in the history of our country.

    Anyway like I said, Goddess of the Market is a really interesting book.

  35. “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”

  36. In the not too distant past! Last sunday A.D.!
    There was a gal named Ayn, not too different from you or me!
    She lived in St Petersburg back then!
    Which must have seemed just like heaven!
    Her family capitalized the place!
    But the Commies didn’t like it so she cruise shipped to the States!

    “I’ll write these awful novels! The worst I can write! (La la la)
    “The world will have to read them all and they will find them all trite!” (La la la)
    Now keep in mind they weren’t deep enough to even get the bends! (La la la)
    However she managed to live with the help of her minion friends!

    Jeff Britting!

    You’re wondering how she’s not insane and other science facts! (La la la)
    Just repeat to yourself she’s just a troll, I should really just relax!
    For The Headfountain 2000!

  37. [re=603457]imissopus[/re]: “I’ve been reading a bio of Rand called Goddess Of The Market and I strongly recommend it to any wonkeratti who are interested.”

    I, for one, thought “Goddess of the Market” was a P.O.S. The opening quote from Nietzsche was bad enough. But the killer was the first page or so of the Preface in which the author breathlessly states that she was introduced to Our Ayn by Suze Orman [BITOCH], who claimed that her prose was an attempt to duplicate the 2,000 word “money” speech of Francisco d’Anconia.

    [I kid you not.]

    After I stopped vomiting, I scanned the rest of the book quickly for details of Ayn’s sex life. Alas, not enough was included to make the tome worth reading.

  38. We just don’t get it. This artist understands that Ayn Rand isn’t a racist just because racist Rand Paul parroted her racist philosophy verbatim.

    Holy Capitalism says she’s well within her rights to freely to discriminate. It’s not racism when you vomit at the thought of an individual Negro President. It’s only racism if was compulsory vomiting over a collective of Negro presidents.

  39. [re=603556]Neilist[/re]: Meh, you’re thinking of Ayn Rand and the World She Made, which came out around the same time. There’s a Q&A on Amazon with the writer in which she mentions the Suze Orman connection, which would have been enough to keep me from reading past the first page.

    Goddess of the Market was written by a history professor from UVa. It’s fairly critical. Having skimmed the Q&A I mentioned above, it sounds as if the book you tried to read might be much more reverential.

  40. [re=603580]imissopus[/re]: Oh. Sorry, Imissopus, my bad. (I must not have looked at the title that carefully before I threw the thing across the room.)

    But any good SEX Stuff in “Goddess”? I think we can all agree that, whatever its political, philosophical, and/or literary flaws, “Altas Shrugged” might have been improved by a Hot LESBO Threeway Scene involving Dagny, Cheryl WhatsHerName? (the shopgirl who married James Taggart, and then throws herself off a bridge when she realized Jim is not Dagny [!?!?!?], and a locomotive . . . .

  41. [re=603583]Neilist[/re]: Now I’m starting to think you’re mixing her up with Anaiis Nin. About the only mention of sex in this book is the affair Rand had with Nathaniel Branden, her closest disciple. And in that case the two of them asked his wife and her husband for permission to have the affair. Because Rand and Branden were so close both personally and professionally, like the good Objectivists they were they figured it was rational and logical that they would eventually want to fuck each other. Not only that, they would tell her husband when Nathaniel was coming over for an assignation so the poor cuckold could vacate the apartment for a couple of hours and they could use his bed.

    That’s about as much as I want to think about it anyway. Ayn looked like a cross between a troll and a dead sheep. Disturbing.

  42. [re=602922]Formerly Preferred[/re]: It’s an article of faith among leftwingers that anyone to the right of Bill Clinton is a closeted cross-burning Klansman, regardless of any amount of evidence to the contrary.

  43. None of these tea bag turd polishers realize that Ayn Rand was a staunch atheist, and despised all organized religion. Where’s your fountainhead now?

  44. I love you more than ice cream, SayItWithWookies, but Styx?!? I remember Styx, kind of, but I’m like old enough for Ayn Rand to be, like, MY god-mother. Or something.

  45. The old woman and old man look more like Pelosi and Reid. I wonder if we can expect more N-words coming out of old man Reid’s mouth…but if he did that, I’m sure he’d have to swallow more than his pride and cut another personal check to the United Negro College Fund.

  46. [re=606012]mrpuma2u[/re]: Politics and Religion (or lack thereof) don’t have much to do with one another unless the simple minded politicians are attacking religion yet again. Oh and the Tea Party Loves you…you just can’t return the favor.

  47. [re=602879]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Unfortunately the bailouts cost a lot more than the sum of all America’s conflicts since WW2 combined. The bailouts gave birth to the Tea Party…go figure. People don’t like being in debt and hate seeing rapid inflation and a weak economy. Go Obamunism!

  48. [re=603457]imissopus[/re]: Kinda sounds like Obama when he’s told the word “NO.” “Irritability is immaturity of character. If you are subject to being cross and unpleasant with others for no apparent reason, you need to come face-to-face with the fact that you are thinking too much of yourself. After all, your feelings are not the most important things in this world.”

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