Here’s a charming video showing all the times Tony Hayward said “I don’t recall” or “Not my fault” or “Sorry, can’t hear you!” during his testimony before Joe Barton’s Oil Industry Fan Club on Thursday. Seems like just yesterday when people would put up all kinds of “mashups” or whatever, about Current Events, but only Bloomberg News has a video now, so apologies for the drawn-out introduction.
And the Washington Post just posted this story with the view from BP’s partner on the Gulf well. Guess what? The partner company says BP was “reckless” and the whole disaster was “preventable.” Good to know!
It was the first time since the blowout in the Gulf of Mexico that Anadarko Petroleum had given its view of the accident, and its chief executive, Jim Hackett, did not mince words. In a statement, Hackett said he was “shocked” by information that has emerged from investigations of the accident. He said it “indicates BP operated unsafely and failed to monitor and react to several critical warning signs during the drilling of the Macondo well.”
You know what we haven’t had in America during the first ten years of this already-awful 21st Century? A really big U.S. earthquake. And an asteroid impact. At least Global Warming is going according to schedule! (Or much faster, actually, whoops ….) [Washington Post]
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We need a ‘Nuremburg’ trial of oil offenders.
Hey Mate – I’m working on the asteroid impact! … D’ya know how bloody difficult those things are to arrange properly?
Good Gawd people – this drongo Hayward is why we hate the bloody pommies…. I’m a bit surprised that he didn’t respond to one of the questions with “mee no speekka ta ingrish”…
“Members assaulted Hayward for seven hours…”
Hell no they’re not replacing Tony Hayward — did you see him get chewed up like a rawhide bone? Name somebody else who’s going to sit in front of Congress six times a year for the forseeable future and admit again and again to complete ignorance. Theer’s only one motherfucker dumb enough to do that, and he’s busy picking out the ceiling tile patterns for his presidential library.
You missed nuclear meltdown. We haven’t had one of those, yet. God knows Commonwealth Edison has been trying, though.
Ken, what are you doing working this late? You should be out shaggin Barbie in your corvette, or playing strip pokemon, or … tbh, I can’t imagine what you do on a friday night …
Great. I hope Andarko sues BP and gets the dregs of the company after the oil volcano and clean up…if such a thing is possible.
Sounds like some serious rumbling going on there.
Andarko used to be a Union Pacific subsidiary.
I thought they fixed the oil.
Exit Sir Haytard, enter Mr. Trucknutz.
I hope you didn’t just jinx us on the big quake, SoCal hasn’t had a really good-sized one in a long time. In fact, if I wake up tomorrow under a pile of rubble that used to be my apartment building, I’m blaming you.
Actually, if you read the reports, Halliburton (of all people) was constantly emailing BP with warnings that the cementing was not being done properly, the casings were the cheap ones, etc.
Thursday . Good . But to elicit a maximum positive ‘yes’ he could heave been asked . ‘Do you remember buying all of us poseurs to de-regulate your industry ? ‘
Thursday . Good . But to elicit a maximum positive ‘yes’ he could have been asked . ‘Do you remember buying all of us poseurs to de-regulate your industry ? ‘
1. Get the GOP PR people. 2. Go to Congress and act exactly like Alberto Gonzales, and like Alito in confirmation, and Roberts in confirmation, and all the rest.
Next, we’ll hear how we need to “get over it.” Just as soon as there isn’t visible oil, that will be the message.
That cunt.
Hayward needs to be sentenced to a decade of forced butt-sex with Bubba in a federal double max.
And we need to nationalize every BP asset we can get our mitts on. It’s the right thing to do, and doing any less just encourages the others.
[re=602389]ellemme[/re]: “Members assaulted Hayward for seven hours…”
Not quite the same ring to it as “Fellow inmates at the Louisiana State Penitentiary anally violated Hayward for seven hours”, but it’s a start.
and his job used to be so good. Drinking whiskey, screwing the help…
Don’t forget Andarkso or whatever has a clause that voids all their liability if the accident is proved to be wilfull or negligence.
How come none of our congressperons asked the question “what are the odds of fixing this thing”. I wonder what the effect of 10 billion gallons of oil in the gulf would be?
Second on [re=602401]imissopus[/re].
Here in the Cascadia of C’Addle we had a 6.7 in 2001, but we haven’t had a really big mother since 1700 when a 9.0 here sent a tsunami clear across the Pacific that knocked the shit out of Japan. Oh, and there was this volcanoey thing with Mt. St. Helens a million years ago in 1980.
Ken, hope that you did do this letting the no-hitter out-of-the-bag on purpose just to show that Bobby Jindal is a flaming bag of poo-covered poison rat dicks for whining about the Feds spending monies on volcano monitoring.
Judging with my tired cynical corprat flunkie eyes, it looks like ole Tone got the sideways punt so favored by higher ups in dealing with managers who fail. It’s not a competence fail, but more of a “How dare you embarrass the company/me” kind of fail because causing embarrassment is a greater sin in corprat world than being incompetent.
Tone will soon resign for “family” reasons and get his life back until enraged British pensioners get a hold of him after BP goes “bankrupt.”
He said it “indicates BP operated unsafely and failed to monitor and react to several critical warning signs during the drilling of the Macondo well.”
…saying under his breath, “…which I can say, now that Legal is positive the responsibility is all BP’s, with none accruing to Anadarko. Praise sweet hydrocarbon Jesus.”
Yes, tie-wearing assholes, I am convinced that none of the rest of you have taken advantage of our lay-back-and-enjoy-it regulatory culture to save a few million here and there on little things like safety and redundancy at your drill sites. Just BP.
at least he didn’t try to take the fifth.
Someday this is gonna make for an awesome Frontline, complete with that voice of doom narration.
You see, I prefer to look at the Gulf as half empty of oil. Silver lining and all, eh. Chin up old bean.
Oh my fucking God, give Bloomberg the goddam seat already. I can only imagine Fox covered this, but I saw the NY Post…you would be hard-pressed to find a mention of Tony’s lousy testimony, or even Joe Barton’s stupidity. I know the Post isn’t exactly Fox, but then again it is, it is.
The big story of who gets Thomas’s seat is so filled with political intrigue, broken promises, and wet dreams that the ramifications will surely affect the mid-terms for years to come. What will Barry do? As usual, he’s fucked either way, from the left and from the right. (Which is odd, because most people either get fucked from the front or from the back; lucky people get fuck both ways, but I digress.)
To recap, GIVE BLOOMBERG THE SEAT! At least they’re a real news organization, goddammit.
There is a decree of necessity, an ancient ordinance of the gods, eternal and sealed fast by broad oaths, that whenever one of the daemons, whose portion is length of days, sinfully pollutes his hands with blood, he must wander thrice ten thousand seasons from the abodes of the blessed, being born throughout the time in all manners of mortal forms, changing one toilsome path of life for another. For the mighty Air drives him into the Sea, and the Sea spews him forth on the dry Earth; Earth tosses him into the beams of the blazing Sun, and he flings him back to the eddies of Air. One takes him from the other, and all reject him. One of these I now am, an exile and a wanderer from the gods, the bondsman of insensate strife.
For I have been ere now a boy and a girl, a bush and a bird and a glittering fish in the sea. It was while I was a fish, I happened upon a deep-sea stream of foul oil spewing from an infected wound in the side of Gaia, and I was cruelly suffocated and died. My spirit translated immediately into the body of that man known as Tony Hayward. I wept and I wailed when I saw the unfamiliar land where were Birth and Sudden Death and troops of Dooms besides, and loathsome sicknesses and putrefactions and fluxes.
My so recent arrival to inhabit this newest mortal form imprisoning me, this upright, psychotic ape (oh, how I yearn again to be a fish, a bird or a bush, or even a still-innocent girl or boy), is why I now, as Tony Hayward, know nothing and remember nothing and was not present and can be of no help. Further, my ears are clogged with the foul oil and I cannot hear. Sorry, chaps. Bit of a sticky wicket, I know. Scones, anyone?
(pace Empedokles)
It doesn’t matter what Obama and the Democrats do…they could change
horseshit to gold and Limbballs and the Republican would sing the same song:
[Groucho]
I don’t know what they have to say,
It makes no difference anyway,
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
No matter what it is or who commenced it,
I’m against it.
Your proposition may be good,
But let’s have one thing understood,
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
And even when you’ve changed it or condensed it,
I’m against it.
I’m opposed to it,
On general principle, I’m opposed to it.
[chorus] He’s opposed to it.
In fact, indeed, that he’s opposed to it!
[Groucho]
For months before my son was born,
I used to yell from night to morn,
Whatever it is, I’m against it.
And I’ve kept yelling since I first commenced it,
I’m against it!
Watch it here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DtMV44yoXZ0
[re=602389]ellemme[/re]: They were paraphrasing Fox News. Original text was: “Members flailed impotently for seven hours.” The talking head objected to that after finding he couldn’t suppress a bladder-busting laugh.
[re=602452]slappypaddy[/re]: Strife’s role can be inferred, but what is Love’s?
[re=602446]Katydid[/re]: Someimes I actually sort of want FOX to get the seat, for comedy, because Robert Gibbs is a loose cannon – but then I remember that FOX would just play the WAH WAH THEY ALWAYS PICK ON CONSERVATIVES game, and the amount of irritation that could generate far outweighs the hysteria of watching birthers get schooled.
[re=602445]user-of-owls[/re]: There is a silver (front)lining to all of this after all! Hooray! Hopefully they’ll get around to it before the Tea Party guts PBS for being unamerican.
Also: Ana Darko? Wasn’t she in “Nailin Palin’ 2″?
Tony is watching his yacht race today. ummm, Tony, your boat should be out in the Gulf skimming oil, mofo.
[re=602459]x111e7thst[/re]: twenty billion dollars set aside by a corporation for the pleasure of fucking a nation. that’s the love part.
[re=602461]Mad Brahms[/re]: “Ana Darko? Wasn’t she in “Nailin Palin’ 2″?”
She was also in “Snow White Trash does the Seven Dweebs”, who are played by Rash Limppdiick, Sean Hasnodick, Michael Steal, Bitch McConman, Newt Get’nrich, Joe Harton, and Joe the Plunger. The plot, such as it is, revolves around the impotence of the dweebs, and their ulimate acceptance of same after the Sarah Impalin’ character straps one on, pounds them into submission, and takes all their cash, leaving their clubhouse destroyed but the boys sated. It’s a morality play/ snuff pr0n.
[re=602437]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Apparently Tony is taking the weekend off – at a yacht festival on the Isle of Wright.
[re=602469]harry palmer[/re]: I’ll bet we could find some fine young actors and actresses for this. Wonkette is a conservaporn web idea waiting to happen. We’d make millions off of SEC employees alone!
[re=602474]Mad Brahms[/re]: “We’d make millions off of SEC employees alone!”
A fine talent pool too, along with the MMS & Dept of Interior staffs. All gifted two-way players, fucking both the corprats AND the taxpayer!
[re=602472]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Who does his PR, Marie Antoinette?
It’s all OK, Tony is taking the day off for the Isle of White Yacht Race where his yacht is said to be quite competitive…
Where is fucking IRA when you really could finally use them?
[re=602477]plowman[/re]: He’s got his life back.
I wonder how much BP is spending on those self-congratulatory “We’re honoring claims!” commercials during World Cup?
Hayward did know what day it was so that makes him top notch CEO material. Yup.
Seems Hayward has not be entirely tossed under the derrick. He’s still CEOish in-charge of BP Gulf operations, but Bob Dudley Doright will be handling “some” of the day-to-day responsibilities.
Is Hayward to only be doing minor spin and jive, or perhaps no spin and none jive? Will Dudley Doright ascend the throne for major BP poop polishing? Who shall Horton hear when cleaning up BPeezelnut oil covered Whos. Who, Who?
Even more interesting, Andarko Petroleum used to be Donnydarko Petroleum.
Also, “Well Partner” sounds really really gay.
May Hayward choke on a chocolate lady finger during tea time on his yacht.
So Barry characterized The Fountainhead as an attack on America. Tony is not a US citizen, which makes him an enemy. Combatant with no constitutional rights So why arenKt we waterboarding him? I swear I heard on NPR this afternoon that he took today off torace his yacht.
Better than Oliver North, but falls far short of Alfredo Gonzalez. No one will ever match Gonzalez.
“I am Tony Haywawd, miwyonaire. I own a mansion and a yacht.”
[re=602485]El Pinche[/re]: [re=602486]V572625694[/re]: Ok, now I’m thoroughly convinced: the person handling Tony’s PR is Meg Stapleton.
[re=602419]Mr Blifil[/re]: which one?
The shot of the two oily weasels sitting behind Hayward? Priceless.
[re=602390]SayItWithWookies[/re]: How many of these congress-critters were fighting to lick his ass-crack clean 6 months ago?
[re=602437]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Any chance he’ll be tarred and feathered with his own petrol?
[re=602426]Sparky McGruff[/re]: So will he get a stay at Angola? It has a special reputation, I understand (from David Robicheaux mysteries, it’s true.)
“I Pleed the Fif, one, two, three, four Fif! Five!” Where have you gone Dave, we need you now more than ever.
Seriously how bad does someone have to fuck up to get fired when you are some rich douchebag. I get fired from my last job for not reporting something that’s already been reported and this fucknut literally takes a gigantic oily shit in the gulf and is still going to be a millionare tommorow. There is no justice in life.
Tony needs a cool nickname, like Tony Accardo was “Big Tuna”. What about Slick Tony or Tony the Eel?
Who cares? More importantly, I think I saw The FIT Personal Trainer ad guy(under the disgusting dea animal photo) in person last week on his company’s float at the Capital Pride Parade. I am pretty sure he was smiling at me(because he saw in me his mom or maybe his grandmom)
[re=602426]Sparky McGruff[/re]: by god we will get there eventually.
[re=602456]Weeping Jesus[/re]: Innuendo from Fox News? What? Not MY conservative-voice news source, never!
[re=602467]sati demise[/re]: Is it a coincidence that you and Richard Shelby had the exact same idea? Either he got the idea from reading your post or you are Richard Shelby. It would be really depressing to find out that I am the only non famous non republican that posts here.
Joe Barton was paid to be impressed by the size of Geologist Hayward’s dinghy competing at the Isle of White (private family time). Naturally, the dinghy didn’t leak as proved in hindsight by EIB’s Roy ‘d-rage’ Spencer.
[re=602392]facehead[/re]: I’m guessing Ken’s testing the virtue of the local coyotes out there in the Mojave.
so…when is tony gonna appear in Playgirl under the MEN OF BP issue. amirite? amirite?
[re=602418]Geogre[/re]: Someone should coin the term ‘Hayward-Gonzales statement’, much like the ‘Sherman statement’.
[re=602452]slappypaddy[/re]: I find this diatribe cheering, diatribally.
Tony!Toni!Tone!
I can’t decide which punishment I prefer for Lord Hayward:
1. having to spend the rest of his life wearing nothing but a grimey tea-towel and working as the manservent for our own Dame Peggington Noonischantz
-or-
2.living the rest of his days standing in a giant vat with BP’s oil up to his chin while people pelt him with oiled pelicans
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