IDIOTS  12:19 pm June 18, 2010

Michele Bachmann’s Husband (!) Super Upset Over F-Word Used On Sign Somewhere

by Ken Layne

Oh shut the fuck up and be glad you're not all in prison.Having called for armed revolution against America’s democratically elected government, duck-faced sociopath Michele Bachmann truly exemplifies mature political discourse. This is why her alleged husband just put his name on a Bachmann 4 Congress fund-raising email, because the staffer who wrote this email cannot believe the local communists have gone so far as to put up some anti-Bachmann signs around Minneapolis, where they live. What do these signs say? Nobody knows for sure, because of the Bachmann’s campaign sudden, shocking ability to self-edit, but it’s a four-letter word that starts with “F.” We are going to check the dictionary!

Foul? Fail? Frog? Fart? Fire? Let’s say “Fire Michele Bachmann.” Yep, sounds un-American to us!

Hmm we might even have to check Urban Dictionary because what’s a derogatory term for black people that starts with “F,” anyway?

This fictional character, “Michele Bachmann’s husband,” then goes on to whine about some nasty political humor that appeared in the 1950s pinup magazine Playboy, which of course nobody can confirm because come on, Playboy? But the message is clear: As long as anyone says anything negative or even vaguely rude about Michele Bachmann — an actual insane person calling for her insane supporters to MURDER THE ELECTED GOVERNMENT OF AMERICA, WITH GUNS — well, that is somehow “trampling of our freedoms.” Uhh:

You and I both know they are resorting to these vulgar attacks because they know their time is up — the American people have their number and won’t put up with the continued trampling of our freedoms at the expense of their liberal ideology.

So, once Bachmann’s Militia assassinates the elected Democratic leadership and the president and his administration in Washington and anyone who isn’t a hard-right drooling suburban wingnut in Minnesota — everybody in the cities, for instance — then Michele Bachmann’s husband can begin the untrampling of our freedoms, via fund-raising email.

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 100 comments }

Prommie June 18, 2010 at 12:22 pm

Fuck her.

Gorillionaire June 18, 2010 at 12:23 pm

I say the signs are spot on “Fuck Michelle Bachmann”. It’s like “Don’t Litter” and “Watch Out For Children” – it is a sign that reminds people to do good things. If Michelle got fucked on a regular basis she wouldn’t be such a goddamn prude.

Snarkalicious June 18, 2010 at 12:23 pm

Finn! Bachman is a Finn! Come my Sweedish American brothers! Let us destroy der interooper, ya?

ella June 18, 2010 at 12:24 pm

I think it’s Flog.

Autoo June 18, 2010 at 12:26 pm

I think what hubbie is missing here is those folks sincerely *do* want to F*** Michelle. It’s the crazy! Irresistible! (Not something one would advertise on a poster, however, that’s just gauche.)

Ruhe June 18, 2010 at 12:27 pm

Liberal America! Michelle Bachman’s Beard has your number! Look out!

actor212 June 18, 2010 at 12:29 pm

I wouldn’t f*** Michelle Bachmann with Jim Newell’s d***

actor212 June 18, 2010 at 12:29 pm

[re=601761]Snarkalicious[/re]: HEY NOW!

Some of us Finns might take exception to your tone!

Really? She’s one of us?

I feel sick now.

slappypaddy June 18, 2010 at 12:31 pm

who could possibly want to fuck her? she has the mad in her eye (though i suppose from behind that wouldn’t matter).

i’m voting for “free.” that’s it: “free michelle bachmann.” she has been enslaved to her gummint post for far too long, it’s time to let her go-go.

mustardman June 18, 2010 at 12:32 pm

FUCK MICHELLE BACHMANN! FUCK HER HUSBAND! FUCK HER SUPPORTERS! FUKIN FUCKIN FUCK!

SayItWithWookies June 18, 2010 at 12:32 pm

Forp. It says “Forp Michele Bachmann.” It makes no sense whatsoever, so she should be able to understand it.

ManchuCandidate June 18, 2010 at 12:33 pm

Sedition and treason might overthrow the gubbiment, but words can never hurt me…

penalcolony June 18, 2010 at 12:34 pm

O the irony! Given that not even Mr. Bachmann wants to REALLY “F*** Michele Bachmann.”

weejee June 18, 2010 at 12:36 pm

Michelle has to be a zombie.

1. Minnesota has 10,000 shallow lakes
2. Those 10,000 lakes breed 10 bazillon skeeters
3. Skeeters go to CO2 like flies to a fresh turd
4. Michelle’s mouth, to fill countless rooms with her vapid words, generates more CO2 than a coal-fired electrical plant
5. Attracted by her CO2 the skeeters drained Michelle of blood years ago

Therefore, she must be a zombie. How she got re-animated I leave to others. She’s a zombie, case closed.

ez June 18, 2010 at 12:38 pm

[re=601759]Prommie[/re]: No thank you very much

lumpenprole June 18, 2010 at 12:39 pm

Works for me. I’d take it as an imperative, but I’ll settle for the figurative.

Gorillionaire June 18, 2010 at 12:40 pm

It is pretty bad when your husband issues a statement on the internets that says having sex with you is “vulgar and disgusting.”

steverino247 June 18, 2010 at 12:41 pm

I think her e-mail thingy should read “Fucking up for Minnesota.” More accurate that way.

As for fucking Mrs. Bachmann, that would be a violation of Ryan’s Law. “Never fuck anybody crazier than you are.” Ironically, both my sons have violated that law–multiple times–despite having met Dr. Ryan.

Ruhe June 18, 2010 at 12:41 pm

Do you think that maybe while he was composing that e-mail and proofreading it and basically seeing the phrase Fuck Michelle over and over again, just maybe the Husband from Minnesota popped a little chubby? And if that led to anything maybe he owes those rock and roll punks with their crude posters some sincere thanks for the gift of some hard to come by autumn-of-your-marriage frisson.

Native of SL UT June 18, 2010 at 12:42 pm

Mr Bachmann proclaims that they “won’t put up with the continued trampling of our freedoms” by trampling on the freedom of those liberals. The best way to promote freedom is by telling people to people to shut the fuck up.

La Cieca June 18, 2010 at 12:42 pm

“As her husband, I am in a position to know that fucking Michele Bachmann is the most vulgar and disgusting act imaginable, even worse than eating cheese curds.”

jus_wonderin June 18, 2010 at 12:42 pm

I think the sign is an admirer’s desperate plea for intimacy with MicheLe. My guess is the plea is a bit late. Someone has alread Fled the L out of her.

BOOBIES! June 18, 2010 at 12:42 pm

Calling her a “duck-faced sociopath” is an insult to sociopathic ducks everywhere.

ttommyunger June 18, 2010 at 12:43 pm

Fuck Michele Bachmann? Really? John Edwards calling…..one ringy-dingy, two ringy-dingy….

P Drizzle June 18, 2010 at 12:44 pm

No, no. It was Frack. So say we all.

Clancy_Pants June 18, 2010 at 12:45 pm

F*** Michelle Bachmann is very dignified. Immature and juvenile would be “Michelle Bachmann is a fucking cunt”.. nothing I would ever write and splatter all over town.. yet.

peanutbutterjellytime June 18, 2010 at 12:47 pm

Michele Bachmann’s hubby knew he had to send that, or nobody was “F’ing” Michele for a while…

Barrelhse June 18, 2010 at 12:48 pm

Dignified debate? Hardly, what with that cock in her mouth and all.

Baby who ate the Dingo June 18, 2010 at 12:48 pm

The word is “FARK,” which is a hybrid of the term “Fart Fuck,” which is what you get when you have sexytime with a gaseous anus.

Which is probably what Michelle’s “husband” is getting.

comicbookguy June 18, 2010 at 12:55 pm

“…trampling of our freedoms at the expense of their liberal ideology”

Does that mean we are giving up our liberal ideology in order to trample their freedoms? This guy speaks good Teabonics.

Also, Frog Michelle Bachmann. And put lipstick on it.

Escape Goat Nation June 18, 2010 at 12:57 pm

Marcus Bachman received his degree from Regent University (Pat Robertson’s school)
Word on the street has it that he can fix the Gay.

Michele Bachman received her degree from Oral Roberts University.

This really explains everything about these two brainiacs

Dashboard_Buddha June 18, 2010 at 12:58 pm

I’m going for fnord.

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO June 18, 2010 at 12:58 pm

So wait, who’s running against her anyway? Someone please tell me we have a credible candidate against this horrible, horrible woman. I’m not kidding, if we can’t unseat someone who blatantly advocates violence against the US Government, and blatantly advocates a return to McCarthyism, we’re pretty much fucked, as an ideological movement, as a party, as a people.

jetjaguar June 18, 2010 at 12:59 pm

I’m going to name my first child “F*** Michele Bachmann.”

Vending Machine June 18, 2010 at 1:01 pm

Frag them both.

Anonymous Office Zombie June 18, 2010 at 1:02 pm

Fist Michele Bachmann?

Perhaps one to the face, but othewise, ewww, no thank you.

harry palmer June 18, 2010 at 1:02 pm

Laugh if you want, but it’s brilliant PR. I activates wingnut rage, self-righteousness, AND gets them thinking about fucking Michelle Bachmann. I imagine this guy in a superfly suit.

F*T*S* June 18, 2010 at 1:04 pm

Do I have to be from Minnesota to say Fuck Michelle Bachman?

BklynIlluminati June 18, 2010 at 1:09 pm

If he was a real man he would have been the first one to tell her STFU and stop embarrassing the shit out of the family. He deserves that harpy, coward

One Yield Regular June 18, 2010 at 1:12 pm

Dignified debate? This river don’t GO to Dignified debate. You done taken a wrong turn somewhere. This-here river don’t go nowhere NEAR Dignified debate.

Naked Bunny with a Whip June 18, 2010 at 1:13 pm

I’m waiting for a list of these freedoms being trampled by liberals.

Snarkalicious June 18, 2010 at 1:15 pm

Todd.

Oblios Cap June 18, 2010 at 1:16 pm

I’m going with “fanfaron”. Because she is.

doxastic June 18, 2010 at 1:17 pm

Unless you give money to my wife, her feelings will be so hurt that she cannot continue to whine about foul mouthed children playing devil-music, who will f-bomb your freedom.

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO June 18, 2010 at 1:17 pm

[re=601818]harry palmer[/re]: Of course you’re right. Fucking libtards and your too clever by half sense of humor that has all the political awareness of a clubbed baby seal.

Golfing OJ June 18, 2010 at 1:18 pm

Christ, it’s actually from her own redneck supporters, ya fukkin swabs: Frag. It says “Frag Michele Bachmann.” As in, “bring it, haters of the corporate profits which by the way are earned in totally only ethical ways, you can frag our leader, who’d be more than happy to begin the frontal assault on those snipers on the White House roof, but you’ll never take our blah-de-blah.”

Bachmann, Crowley, Malkin, Palin, Coulter — don’t you just want to fuck their brains out, all of them? I mean, who wouldn’t want to be in the political “party” that has the $200 hookers? What the fuck, I’m gonna rinse Rachel Maddow’s face in man-sauce and hate myself five seconds later? Fuck that.

iantenna June 18, 2010 at 1:18 pm

that concert was a lot of fun. my socialist canadian cover band bachmann-turnip-overdose played.

Naked Bunny with a Whip June 18, 2010 at 1:18 pm

@I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO: You’re assuming that Bachmann’s district isn’t gerrymandered to the point it only includes Wal-Marts and insane asylums.

Oblios Cap June 18, 2010 at 1:19 pm

she’s also been known to be foetiferous. Hey, this is almost as much fun as reading Dame Peggy Noonanshire’s new “column”.

Fran Rogers June 18, 2010 at 1:19 pm

OK, so when Bachmann tells people to be “armed and dangerous” against “the enemy” in Washington, obviously not speaking literally, it’s just rhetoric! Only the LIE-beral DUMB-o-cRATs would want you to think she actually wants you to grab your gun and mow down some public servants. No way. That’s nuts. Figurative, not literal.

But when these pinko foot soldiers of Hussein Soetero come along and say “fuck Michele Bachmann,” they clearly mean it in the most literal fashion – they want the public to have sex with our beloved Mama Grizzly! That other dictionary definition, “7. (vulgar, colloquial) (often derogatory) used to emphasize displeasure with someone or something”? Pfft. Only book-learned LIE-berals read dictionaries.

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO June 18, 2010 at 1:20 pm

[re=601837]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: That’s the only way i could imagine she got elected.

Katydid June 18, 2010 at 1:21 pm

Hey! I sent you a tip with the flier and a story. You guys want to click, trust me. The flier is worth it. It involves buttsex with a GOP elephant. Or maybe you don’t.

widget09 June 18, 2010 at 1:21 pm

Face?
Fark?

Just what word is it?

Godot June 18, 2010 at 1:26 pm

Fork Michele Bachman

oh god now there’s two of them running in parallel

comicbookguy June 18, 2010 at 1:27 pm

[re=601824]Naked Bunny with a Whip[/re]: Freedom to live in a country without liberals was the first to be trampled.

Fist fuck Michelle Bachmann with a flatulent frog. For freedom. Falso.

Prommie June 18, 2010 at 1:30 pm

[re=601811]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: “We?” Who is this “we?” Do you have a mouse in your pocket?

widget09 June 18, 2010 at 1:33 pm

It has to be:

Foop!

Fran Rogers June 18, 2010 at 1:38 pm

[re=601846]Katydid[/re]: The full response from Mr. Bachmann is also available on that site. Including this statement that poignantly captures the very essence of the crusade for family values and moral purity: “Click here now to make a contribution of $25, $50, $100, $500, $1,000 or more.”

proudgrampa June 18, 2010 at 1:38 pm

Here you go, all the four-letter F-words:

FAAN FAAS FABS FACE FACT FADE FADO FADS FADY FAFF FAGS FAHS FAIK FAIL FAIN FAIR FAIX FAKE FALL FALX FAME FAND FANE FANG FANK FANO FANS FARD FARE FARL FARM FARO FARS FART FASH FAST FATE FATS FAUN FAUR FAUT FAUX FAVA FAVE FAWN FAWS FAYS FAZE FEAL FEAR FEAT FECK FEDS FEEB FEED FEEL FEEN FEER FEES FEET FEGS FEHM FEHS FEIS FELL FELT FEME FEMS FEND FENI FENS FENT FEOD FERE FERM FERN FESS FEST FETA FETE FETS FETT FEUD FEUS FEYS FIAR FIAT FIBS FICE FICO FIDO FIDS FIEF FIER FIFE FIFI FIGO FIGS FIKE FIKY FILA FILE FILL FILM FILO FILS FIND FINE FINI FINK FINO FINS FIRE FIRK FIRM FIRN FIRS FISC FISH FISK FIST FITS FITT FIVE FIXT FIZZ FLAB FLAG FLAK FLAM FLAN FLAP FLAT FLAW FLAX FLAY FLEA FLED FLEE FLEG FLEW FLEX FLEY FLIC FLIM FLIP FLIR FLIT FLIX FLOC FLOE FLOG FLOP FLOR FLOW FLUB FLUE FLUS FLUX FOAL FOAM FOBS FOCI FOEN FOES FOGS FOGY FOHN FOHS FOID FOIL FOIN FOLD FOLK FOND FONE FONS FONT FOOD FOOL FOOT FOPS FORA FORB FORD FORE FORK FORM FORT FOSS FOUD FOUL FOUR FOUS FOWL FOXY FOYS FOZY FRAB FRAE FRAG FRAP FRAS FRAT FRAU FRAY FREE FRET FRIB FRIG FRIS FRIT FRIZ FROE FROG FROM FROS FROW FRUG FUBS FUCI FUCK FUDS FUEL FUFF FUGS FUGU FUJI FULL FUME FUMS FUMY FUND FUNG FUNK FUNS FURL FURR FURS FURY FUSC FUSE FUSS FUST FUTZ FUZE FUZZ FYCE FYKE FYLE FYRD

bureaucrap June 18, 2010 at 1:39 pm

has anyone used “fapp” yet? With 2 “p”s, it indicates extra-hard fapping.

bakeneko June 18, 2010 at 1:43 pm

[re=601810]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Ignore the fnord.

BTW, large, suitable for framing (792×1244) image of the flier here: http://g-biz.net

Hooray!

nightshift June 18, 2010 at 1:50 pm

Can we just give this crazy fuck her Fox news show already???

TGY June 18, 2010 at 1:56 pm

Ordinarily, I’m against the use of profanity unless it’s: A) on Wonkette, B) applied to Michele Bachmann, or C) used some other way that’s justified or desirable or artistic.

coolcatdaddy June 18, 2010 at 1:57 pm

Wait – Michelle Bachmann is a _woman_????

I couldn’t tell from the picture.

Maus June 18, 2010 at 1:58 pm

Crustpunk shows are an ASSAULT on AMERKUH. Who knew?

queeraselvis v 2.0 June 18, 2010 at 2:00 pm

Sorry, but I wouldn’t fuck Michele Bachmann with Michelle Malkin’s two-headed dildo. I bet Marcus wish he could, though.

Hedley Lamar June 18, 2010 at 2:12 pm

[re=601772]slappypaddy[/re]: She might have the mad in her brown eye too.

actor212 June 18, 2010 at 2:19 pm

[re=601871]proudgrampa[/re]: You missed FLEK. But then I speak wingnut.

Ducksworthy June 18, 2010 at 2:24 pm

[re=601811]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: Tarryl Clark is running against Her Craziness. Send her money at http://tarrylclark.com/

Ducksworthy June 18, 2010 at 2:26 pm

[re=601944]Ducksworthy[/re]: I know, Tarryl OK but its better than Elwin Tinklenberg.

martinette June 18, 2010 at 2:27 pm

[re=601811]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: Tarryl Clark is running against her. She actually has a shot.

Here. Send her all your money:

http://tarrylclark.com/

martinette June 18, 2010 at 2:28 pm

[re=601944]Ducksworthy[/re]: Whoops, you neat me to the same point. Still, the best way to f— Bachmann…

Ducksworthy June 18, 2010 at 2:31 pm

[re=601954]martinette[/re]: Of go to the Fuck Michele Bachmann Concert. Its a Concert? This could be fun. Thank you for that Marcus.

Monsieur Grumpe June 18, 2010 at 2:48 pm

I was wondering what to do tonight. I’m going to get one of these posters.

Monsieur Grumpe June 18, 2010 at 2:49 pm

For those of you wondering what Michelle’s husband looks like…

http://media.nowpublic.net/images//6b/b/6bbe7a7e1d5c45ccdb04b2cef79585f6.jpg

peanutbutterjellytime June 18, 2010 at 3:00 pm

What about “fingerbang?” Has the ship sailed on “fingerbang?”

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO June 18, 2010 at 3:48 pm

[re=601863]Prommie[/re]: Dammit, I gotta stop talking for the whole decent portion of the human race again.

GOPCrusher June 18, 2010 at 4:09 pm

Maybe the real purpose behind their rage about these signs, is that they just came to the realization that someone in America may not think highly of Michele, Queen of the Batshyt Crazies.
Some people don’t deal well with rejection.

dr.giraud June 18, 2010 at 4:16 pm

Bachmann IS kinda duck faced. She’d make a nice girlfriend for Mallard Fillmore.

JSDC007 June 18, 2010 at 4:19 pm

Fuck her, so that you don’t have to, Mr. Michelle Bachmann.

Because, clearly, if you dip your wick in the pustulence that is Michelle Bachmann, your peen will fall off, hit the ground, and turn into Sarah Palin.

Jukesgrrl June 18, 2010 at 4:24 pm

[re=601993]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Merci, Monsieur. I WAS wondering. I was just about to head over to The Google when you saved me the trouble with quite an excellent photo.

Do you Blingee?

PsycGirl June 18, 2010 at 4:38 pm

[re=601846]Katydid[/re]: “Let’s you and I stand up together…” AHA! It’s TRIO Michele Bachmann!!!!

Tundra Grifter June 18, 2010 at 4:44 pm

If “One-L’s” husband thinks that poster has the most vulgar and disgusting terms, he clearly lacks imagination.

Thanks to ordering a free ticket to the Michele and Gov’Nor show a while back, I’m not on the mailing list.

What does it say about this gentleman, and their entire family, that he takes this poster as an opportunity to raise more money for the campaign?

WoW!

Rotundo June 18, 2010 at 5:15 pm

Just a concert? I think it sounds like a great name for a band. Beats the Durocs and Revolting Cocks (just barely on the latter…).

Pandy June 18, 2010 at 5:58 pm

“You and I both know they are resorting to these vulgar attacks because they know their time is up — the American people have their number and won’t put up with the continued trampling of our freedoms at the expense of their liberal ideology.”

Is it me or is this sentence not saying what he thinks it is saying?

maven June 18, 2010 at 6:01 pm

[re=601871]proudgrampa[/re]: Thanks. I think “Fuse” is the right word, it might have something to do with the Human Centipede movie and Sarah Palin.

babsinbuffalo June 18, 2010 at 6:10 pm

[re=601794]BOOBIES![/re]: too say nothing of ducks!!

babsinbuffalo June 18, 2010 at 6:12 pm

[re=601871]proudgrampa[/re]: I vote for for “foul.”

Numbat Dundee June 18, 2010 at 7:45 pm

Wht’s so wrong wih “Fondle Michelle Bachmann.”?

PsycGirl June 18, 2010 at 8:09 pm

[re=602224]Pandy[/re]: I don’t know what the hell it means. It’s kind of like a teabagger version of a line from 1984.

Veritas78 June 18, 2010 at 9:48 pm

Michele Bachmann put up those signs herself, right where her clueless hubby would see them. Post-It notes on the fridge didn’t work, either.

the problem child June 18, 2010 at 10:27 pm

Nice. “Feed Michele Bachmann” ties in nicely with the send us money thing.

Flanders June 18, 2010 at 10:49 pm

I’m in the minority, but I would totally fuck her. I love to fuck crazy chicks.

crcombine June 19, 2010 at 11:43 am

I’m going with “feed” Michele Bachmann…I think this is some sort of clever, if insidious, campaign by the Minneapolis Restaurant Association. Especially too, since I wouldn’t fuck Michele Bachmann with Ann Coulter’s dick.

Hoplight June 19, 2010 at 12:56 pm

I’m going with Fawn. Someone must be fawning over this loon or she wouldn’t get elected.

oldsparky June 19, 2010 at 3:33 pm

[re=601794]BOOBIES![/re]: Read next Sunday’s Pearls Before Swine – the Wonkette office moves next door to the Zebra, and the Guard Duck is PISSED OFF.

WalkinwiththeKing June 19, 2010 at 6:01 pm

Barry should just bite the bullet and throw a fuck into her.

GreenHalo June 20, 2010 at 6:59 am

If wanting to knock the bottom out of Crazy Gray Eyes Bachmann is wrong, seriously, I don’t want to be right. Chicks with gray eyes are like slapping two bricks of subcritical plutonium together. The hotness can’t be denied, and if that’s the way you’re fated to check out, well, okay. It’s not like you wasted your last moments on something dull and pedestrian, like a brown-eyed blondie or something.

Joey Ratz June 21, 2010 at 1:03 pm

Felch Michele Bachman. Nothing else makes any sense.

[re=602224]Pandy[/re]: It’s not just you. I’m starting to think that Michele may actually be the brighter part of that couple…

Dolmance June 28, 2010 at 3:24 pm

Why no picture? I want to see the face of the man who ate out Michelle Bachmann.

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