Obama Is Losing His Muslin Base

by Jack Stuef

Time to wrap up his presidency.It was bad enough losing the pundits, but it appears President Obama is losing footing among his own people, the Muslims. While Obama continues to be loved by gay godless Europeans, polls show a majority of people in Muslim countries have a negative opinion of our keffiyehed leader. These Mohammedans believe the U.S. “could pose a military threat to their country some day,” despite the fact that Obama has yet to destroy the country he hates most, America. But of course such foreigners are shifty and likely lied to pollsters, knowing the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq are just a ruse to secretly raise Muslin armies to come over here and re-establish the American caliphate. [BBC]

 

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{ 65 comments }

chascates June 17, 2010 at 5:07 pm

No country is safe from the U.S., not even the U.S.!

Gratuitous World June 17, 2010 at 5:12 pm

Don’t blame me, I’m a mujahi-deaniac.

JackDempsey June 17, 2010 at 5:24 pm

He still has time to make up points in the swimsuit phase of the competition.
It’s a matter of threading the needle between showing a little and not showing too much.

BklynIlluminati June 17, 2010 at 5:28 pm

I for one welcome our new Caliph. As long i get a magic lamp to rub out i mean just rub

Johnny Zhivago June 17, 2010 at 5:28 pm

Not fair! With the Gulf Coast nearly destroyed, I’d say Obama is well on his way towards wrecking the entire United States.

I Heart Accuracy June 17, 2010 at 5:29 pm

Rasmussen pay for that?

Johnny Zhivago June 17, 2010 at 5:31 pm

[re=601285]BklynIlluminati[/re]: This is so cool, because finally there’s a reason for me to go and buy a fez.

slappypaddy June 17, 2010 at 5:33 pm

the only country the united states poses a military threat to anymore is the united states.

Maus June 17, 2010 at 5:34 pm

“polls show a majority of people in Muslim countries have a negative opinion of our keffiyehed leader. These Mohammedans believe the U.S. “could pose a military threat to their country some day,”

Gee, I sure wonder why Iran and Pakistan might say CRAZY things like this?!

Serolf Divad June 17, 2010 at 5:35 pm

Scurrilous rumor mongers in his native Kenya are floating the lie that he was born in Hawaii and that his Kenyan birth certificate is a forgery. That’s the reason for his declining popularity among the Mohamedans.

JackDempsey June 17, 2010 at 5:45 pm

[re=601293]Johnny Zhivago[/re]:
*buy* a fez?
There’s an easy way to get one for free. http://www.shrinershq.org/
Don’t get too excited, though—–
“While the fez was a colourful and picturesque item of uniform it was in several ways an impractical headdress. If worn without a drab cover it made the head a target for enemy fire, and it provided little protection from the sun.” wikipedia

Hooray For Anything June 17, 2010 at 5:46 pm

But wait, Fox keeps on telling me that Obama is too busy making sweet love to the Muslins for him to be hated. I thought that’s why we haven’t nuked Iran yet.

Snarkalicious June 17, 2010 at 5:48 pm

[re=601297]slappypaddy[/re]: Yeah, no shit. I’m pretty sure our next target is Soccer Hooligans.

Okie Dokie Dog June 17, 2010 at 5:51 pm

I don’t understand the difference between Muslin and Muslim.
Does it have anything to do with the thread count in the linen or whut?

Neilist June 17, 2010 at 5:54 pm

Gee, that photo brings back the memories. Specifically:

So ‘ere’s to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, at your ‘ome in the Soudan;
You’re a pore benighted ‘eathen but a first-class fightin’ man;
An’ ‘ere’s to you, Fuzzy-Wuzzy, with your ‘ayrick ‘ead of ‘air –
You big black boundin’ beggar – for you broke a British square!

(Where’s my bloody Winchester brass receiver P.O.S.? Dale! DALE! Need a little of that “Served During The Vietnam War” backup here! Dale!?! DALE!???!!)

legalize everything June 17, 2010 at 5:55 pm

[re=601311]Hooray For Anything[/re]: Well we know Fox can’t be wrong so…I guess they’ve moved on to the “hate sex” stage of their relationship?

SayItWithWookies June 17, 2010 at 5:56 pm

Has Joe Barton apologized to the Muslims for this travesty yet? They have oil, you know.

Cicada June 17, 2010 at 5:57 pm

[re=601266]Gratuitous World[/re]: That reference must have been covered in dust! I hope you took your allergy tablet. And yes, I laughed.

Neilist June 17, 2010 at 5:57 pm

You know, I may have wrong poem. How about:

Now since the Khalifa has been defeated and his rule at an end,
Let us thank God that fortunately did send
The brave Sir Herbert Kitchener to conquer that bad man,
The inhuman Khalifa, and his followers at the battle of Omdurman.

Success to Sir Herbert Kitchener! he is a great commander,
And as skilful in military tactics as the great Alexander,
Because he devised a very wise plan,
And by it has captured the town of Omdurman.

I wish success to the British and Soudanese Army,
May God protect them by land and by sea,
May he enable them always to conquer the foe,
And to establish what’s right wherever they go.

The Battle of Omdurman
By Knight of the White Elephant of Burmah William McGonagall

[Those Scots. Born poets, aren't they? Particularly when blind drunk.]

tribbzthesquidz June 17, 2010 at 5:58 pm

They’ll come back around once Bararck finishes establishing Sharia law. He taught a class on it at Havarti.

TGY June 17, 2010 at 5:58 pm

Their towels are wound too tight, perhaps.

Lazy Media June 17, 2010 at 6:00 pm

[re=601320]Neilist[/re]: Just use one of these.

finallyhappy June 17, 2010 at 6:16 pm

This must be wrong because Ed Koch just wrote and said our Muslin overlord is responsible for orchestrating all of the hateful writing recently about Israel. The guy can’t win- he hates Israel , he hates the Arabs, he hates America(well, Snowbilly said that one or maybe weepy Glenn).

Texan Bulldoggette June 17, 2010 at 6:17 pm

Looking at that pic reminds me of the Dem Primary days. Back when Barry’s biggest problems were his loud-mouthed preacher, fear his wife would call Wolf Blitzer ‘whitey’ and that everyone thought he was a secret muslin. Oh, I bet he longs for the good old days.

Neilist June 17, 2010 at 6:22 pm

[re=601331]Lazy Media[/re]:

Way ahead of you:

http://www.martinihenry.com/files/load.wav

Only this time, make sure the bloody brass straps are cut off the ammunition boxes, would you? The bloody beggars come at you as thick as black grass . . . .

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO June 17, 2010 at 6:28 pm

[re=601344]finallyhappy[/re]: It makes you wonder, with as evil as our current president is, it’s amazing how the media finds footage of him NOT eating aborted fetuses whilst urinating on a pile of bibles. I mean, it must be the only thing he does. Ever.

zhubajie June 17, 2010 at 6:40 pm

They should check out the caliphate of the Ordo Templi Orientis!

zhubajie June 17, 2010 at 6:46 pm

[re=601288]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Just cleaning up after Bush, like sending in the B team when you’re 100 points ahead and 5 minutes left to play.

chascates June 17, 2010 at 6:47 pm

Sarah Palin has just endorsed Star Parker for Congress as well as a couple of other ‘liberty-loving Mama Grizzlies.’

zhubajie June 17, 2010 at 7:06 pm

[re=601293]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: I have the sort of knit woolen cap Buddhist monks wear in China. I get taken for a Muslim all the time. The only sort-of White population in China are the Muslims of Xinjiang, and I guess blue eyes are not too out-of-the-ordinary there.

Maus June 17, 2010 at 7:24 pm

[re=601311]Hooray For Anything[/re]: “But wait, Fox keeps on telling me that Obama is too busy making sweet love to the Muslins for him to be hated. I thought that’s why we haven’t nuked Iran yet.”

But Fox’s Glenn Beck convinced my mother pre-election that the Muslins HATE a convert to Christianity and therefore 10x the attacks will be committed on the US. Surely they can’t be telling us both!

[re=601367]zhubajie[/re]: “They should check out the caliphate of the Ordo Templi Orientis!”

The OTO? Aren’t they like the chubby, polyamorous jugglers-in-utilikilts that the LaVeyans are, but with slightly better jobs, a heroin addiction, and much MUCH more pretension?

G. Friday June 17, 2010 at 7:30 pm

Man, if Teddy Roosevelt had been in touch with his Koran as T. Jefferson…American Caliphate, yo.

Katydid June 17, 2010 at 7:55 pm

[re=601344]finallyhappy[/re]: Obummer hates white people, he hates black people, he hates Republicans, he hates liberals….

zhubajie June 17, 2010 at 8:07 pm

[re=601310]JackDempsey[/re]: Go for a keffiyeh! Wrap the long ends around your neck in the winter, it’s better than a scarf.

zhubajie June 17, 2010 at 8:15 pm

[re=601325]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Barton’s probably a Shriner, don’t you expect?

Barrelhse June 17, 2010 at 8:18 pm

[re=601328]Neilist[/re]: Lord Kitchener is now penning the Great Prison Novel, written with ink made from his own blood (although the carbon-copies prove unacceptable.)

zhubajie June 17, 2010 at 8:24 pm

[re=601320]Neilist[/re]: Don’t forget that Crazy Horse and his friends all had British brass receiver rifles, bought from the Hudson’s Bay Co.

qwerty42 June 17, 2010 at 8:25 pm

sure, laugh now, while you can …

x111e7thst June 17, 2010 at 8:27 pm

[re=601300]Maus[/re]: It is clearly necessary that we begin bombing all these countries at once, before they can act on their perception of us as a threat. Combine this with a capital gains tax cut and you also fix the economy and render the nastiness in the Gulf moot. Sounds like a win/win to me. Does it to you?

x111e7thst June 17, 2010 at 8:40 pm

[re=601320]Neilist[/re]: ‘E’ll be squattin’ on the coals
Givin’ drink to poor damned souls,
An’ I’ll get a swig in hell from Gunga Din!
Yes, Din! Din! Din!
You Lazarushian-leather Gunga Din!
Though I’ve belted you and flayed you,
By the livin’ Gawd that made you,
You’re a better man than I am, Gunga Din

Ein Whiskey soda mit Eiss. Mach gantz shnell, sonst werd ich dir Beine maschen!

Hunger Tallest Palin June 17, 2010 at 9:21 pm

ZOMG OBAMA IS RALLYING THE TERRORISTS!1

[re=601318]Okie Dokie Dog[/re]: You’re not supposed to wear Muslin between Labor Day and Memorial Day but Muslim is FABULOUS any time of year.

Joey Ratz June 17, 2010 at 9:22 pm

[re=601398]Katydid[/re]: Obummer? That’s so 15 minutes ago. The cool kids call him Mubarack Hussein Obama now: http://world-o-crap.com/blog/?p=2137#comments

[re=601328]Neilist[/re]: Damn. I had entirely forgotten the majestic awfulness of McGonagall’s prose. So, um… thanks, or something.

drcjsnider June 17, 2010 at 9:42 pm

Nice typo in the title… I thought the story was going to be about cotton producucers refusing to sell to Obama.

salt_bagel June 17, 2010 at 9:43 pm

Fer Chrissake, it’s “LOOSING” people.

predilectrix June 17, 2010 at 9:44 pm

[re=601318]Okie Dokie Dog[/re]: You know that tenuous thread by which Teatards are clinging to their sanity? That’s the Muslin thread we’re counting. The crazier the bagger, the lower the count.

[re=601377]zhubajie[/re]: Blue eyes?? You’ve just wrecked my imaginary bio for you, an impressively colloquial English-speaking Chinese, who traveled to the US to attend UW-Madison, where you picked up a taste for The Onion-type humor before heading home to China, but since no one there understands your references now, you reach out to Wonketteers as your tribe, always posting at antipodean hours. So, you’re a Muslin Bedoin, then?

AddHomonym June 17, 2010 at 9:49 pm

[re=601432]predilectrix[/re]: I always thought zhubajie was US America-born but left long ago and has never been happier but he still likes to spy on/mock us via the Wonkettes. Close?

rocktonsammy June 17, 2010 at 10:24 pm

Thank Allah teh Gawker still likes.

jetjaguar June 17, 2010 at 10:24 pm

All your muslim base are belong to us.

Radiotherapy June 17, 2010 at 11:19 pm

: IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, THE MERCIFUL, THE JUST:
IN THIS YEAR OF 1432 THE PROPHET MUHAMMED BARACK MADE HAJJ TO 1600 PENN AVE.. PROCLAIMING THE UNITY OF GOD, HE DICTATED THE HOLY QU’RAN, THE PERFECT & UNCHANGING WORD OF ALLAH. THE USURPTION OF INFIDELS WAS EXCELLENT. AMEEN.
IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, THE MERCIFUL, THE COMPASSIONATE: ALLAH TA’ALLAH DICTATED THE HOLY QU’RAN TO HIS HOLY PROPHET IN THE DIVINE LANGUAGE OF ARABIC, THE INFIDEL AMONGST US AND AGAINST US IN JIHAD, TO WHICH THERE EXISTS NO OTHER RECOURSE. ARE WE TO BLASPHEMOUSLY AND IMPIOUSLY CLAIM THAT WE KNOW BETTER THAN ALLAH AR-RASHID, THE GREAT TEACHER OF MANKIND, IN EMPLOYING “MODERN” AND UNNECESSARY INNOVATIONS WHEN HIS HOLY PROPHET MADE NO USE OF SUCH THINGS? BETTER TO ENCOURAGE UNITY WITHIN THE UMMAH BY PROMOTING THE ARABIC TONGUE, AND TO EVADE TAJDIF (BLASPHEMY) WHEN CONVERSING WITH KUFFAR SUCH AS YOURSELF BY ADHERING TO ITS DIVINE STRUCTURES. AMEEN

Johnny Zhivago June 17, 2010 at 11:25 pm

[re=601310]JackDempsey[/re]: So let me get this straight. Shriner’s are Moolims? Because that sure likes like a Mooslim sword and half moon on that Fez.

Or could they just be from South Carolina?

Escape Goat Nation June 18, 2010 at 12:03 am

He can’t win 2012 without the Muslin vote!

lumpenprole June 18, 2010 at 12:08 am

wtf is wrong with Muslims worldwide? They’ve got a perfectly decent, clean, articulate guy who’s won over our youth and the coastal elites (we were going to bomb you folks anyways). You want him to be consistently sane too? Sorry, but, Nader 2012 for you! Nader 2012!

zhubajie June 18, 2010 at 3:13 am

[re=601328]Neilist[/re]: I believe the Khalifa was already dead by that time. Kitchener wanted to steal his skull, turn it into a cup, but Queen Victoria prevented him.

Zhu Bajie

zhubajie June 18, 2010 at 3:27 am

“zhubajie: ‘They should check out the caliphate of the Ordo Templi Orientis!’

The OTO? Aren’t they like the chubby, polyamorous jugglers-in-utilikilts that the LaVeyans are, but with slightly better jobs, a heroin addiction, and much MUCH more pretension?”

OTO was Crowley’s (GWB’s grandfather according to scurrilous rumors!!) outfit. Of late, they’ve split several ways, just like Baptists, and probably they have rival caliphs (just like Muslims in the old days!).

Zhu Bajie, alive in the bitter sea

zhubajie June 18, 2010 at 3:38 am

[re=601329]tribbzthesquidz[/re]: Which school of sharia? I’ve always like the idea of those shi’ite temporary marriages!

zhubajie June 18, 2010 at 5:52 am

[re=601420]x111e7thst[/re]: Read Mark Twain’s _Following the Equator_, esp. the section about India. He saw guests in hotels strike Indian workers in the face before giving an order. He said it reminded him of slave days in his Missouri childhood. Orwell also writes about how routinely Britons in India beat or kicked Indian working people.

zhubajie June 18, 2010 at 5:58 am

[re=601382]Maus[/re]: Glenn Beck’s a Mormon, and in Mormon terms, a Fundamentalist whacko. What does he know about Islam or Christianity? Ordinary Islam is far closer to ordinary Protestantism than even ordinary Mormonism, let alone Beck’s weirdo whacko offshoot.

zhubajie June 18, 2010 at 7:14 am

[re=601432]predilectrix[/re]: I am a Norwegian/Dutch American from the wilds of Northwest Iowa. I have blue eyes. I served in Viet Nam on an aircraft carrier and even voted for Nixon (about the time GWB was a deserter in AL, I believe.). I have a PhD in middle east history and archeology, with a specialty in religions and astrology. I read six middle eastern languages, plus French and German (and now Chinese). With all this background, it’s not surprising that the best job I could get was non-f*cking parking lot attendant! (It gave me lots of time to read, contemplate my nervous breakdown, my debts and life in the USA.) Luckier White people never hesitated to tell me that if would only re-arrange my resume, I’d have a job right away (or to sidle up and tell me, sotto voce, that if I were a Black woman, I’d have a job right away.) The first university to offer me a teaching job was in China. Towards the end of the year, I realized that I was happy in China, and didn’t want to go back. So I didn’t. I’ve enjoyed the expat life ever since, waited for the economic house of cards to fall (ha! ha! ha!) and civil war to follow (don’t trust the Republicans or the born-agains!).

Let me tell you, China has some problems, but some virtues as well. I could say more, but that’s enough Confession for now.

One last thing: my name is taken from one of the characters in the fantasy epic, Journey to the West. Zhu Bajie, among other things, is the patron god of prostitutes and other “night occupations.” A few years ago, readers of a women’s magazine voted him the ideal husband because he was loyal and hard-working.

zhubajie June 18, 2010 at 7:18 am

[re=601437]AddHomonym[/re]: Close. Joyce spent his life in Trieste/Paris, but couldn’t stop thinking about Dublin. I live in China but sometimes think about the USA. From a distance, I can see some things more clearly. USA: tragedy or comedy? Well, much of it inspires sardonic laughter in me.

zhubajie June 18, 2010 at 7:25 am

[re=601312]Snarkalicious[/re]: Iran. In a few more years, China.

tribbzthesquidz June 18, 2010 at 11:14 am

[re=601538]zhubajie[/re]: The new school of Sharia. The ultra-liberal one. Apparently.

Snarkalicious June 18, 2010 at 12:14 pm

[re=601554]zhubajie[/re]: Jesus…Persian/Sino Soccer Hooligans? That’s fucking terrifying.

Maus June 18, 2010 at 2:01 pm

[re=601537]zhubajie[/re]: “OTO was Crowley’s (GWB’s grandfather according to scurrilous rumors!!) outfit. Of late, they’ve split several ways, just like Baptists, and probably they have rival caliphs (just like Muslims in the old days!).”

As a Coil fan, I’m well familiar with the Crowleyans, Golden Dawn, etc., but you’re not quite arguing with me here :3

Maus June 18, 2010 at 2:04 pm

[re=601545]zhubajie[/re]: “Glenn Beck’s a Mormon, and in Mormon terms, a Fundamentalist whacko. What does he know about Islam or Christianity? Ordinary Islam is far closer to ordinary Protestantism than even ordinary Mormonism, let alone Beck’s weirdo whacko offshoot.”

It wasn’t just him and the Mormon born-again alcoholics, though. From what I recall the “muslins hate a convert, therefore 9/11 times 1000″ talking point was pretty strong with both the rapture-readies and the rest of the “mainstream Republican” talk radio set.

Neilist June 18, 2010 at 4:35 pm

[re=601534]zhubajie[/re]: LORD Kitchner, to you, Sir!

And Her Imperial Majesty, Queen Victory, did not prevent turning the Mahdi’s skull into a cup. She merely objected that said artifact had insufficient capacity to hold the quart of gin and laudanum that she swilled before breakfast each morning.

[BTW: Interesting resume you have there, old man.]

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