RACIAL PROGRESS  11:22 am June 17, 2010

by Ken Layne

That's not racial transcendence.RACIST LAWN DECORATIONS FOR SALE, IN 2010, IN NEW JERSEY: Hooray for Diversity of Thought! An alert Wonkette operative found these charming lawn jockeys and other racist trinkets common in the 19th Century available for sale right now! “WE WILL BE OPEN SELLING OUR CUSTOM MADE STATUES,” says the Craigslist ad. “WE ALSO HAVE VERY LARGE HUGE RED SHOTGUN SHELL MAILBOX WE CATER TO ALL PAST PURCHASERS AND TRUE AMERICANS. WOW WOW WOW.” Uhh. [Craigslist]

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Hola wonkerados.

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norbizness June 17, 2010 at 11:26 am

I’ll admit that the Jersey Shore craigslist is a higher-quality publication than either National Review Online or RedState, but still falls short of what I consider substantive comment-worthy.

ManchuCandidate June 17, 2010 at 11:29 am

How would they know who’s a TRUE US Americun or not?

In the olden days it used to be easy cause FALSE US Americuns last names ended with an A, I, O, U, and Z and sometimes E (those sneaky Es.) Now how can one tell? Do they have to send in pictures of their Truck Nutz for these ceramic wonders of racial diversity?

Ducksworthy June 17, 2010 at 11:30 am

Too bad the new for 2010 mex.pedro JR sculpture wasn’t ready for the Craigslist pitcher takin’.

Prommie June 17, 2010 at 11:33 am

[re=600694]norbizness[/re]: Its the visual.

AnnieGetYourFun June 17, 2010 at 11:35 am

Huh, all caps. Would NOT have seen that one coming.

Prommie June 17, 2010 at 11:35 am

[re=600699]Ducksworthy[/re]: Here ya go, its Pedro, but I am inclined to think its just a different paint scheme on the same old jockey statue.

ph7 June 17, 2010 at 11:39 am


Unpainted? For frugal racists, or those whose enjoy the extra level of racist gratification that only comes from applying the skin color themselves?

13ollocks To The Rules June 17, 2010 at 11:40 am

OMFG….the Rastus watermelon boy….”Boy! Ah sayed boy! Move yur black ass an’ gemme sum more watermelon!…..gawd damn nigras, caint do nuthin’ raht….burp….”
AKA “the good old days”
Incidentally, if you click back to the “for sale” listings, there are items of pure gold up there, like this one: http://jerseyshore.craigslist.org/clo/1796586859.html
Apparently, “Miss Cathy” is closing up her “establishment” and will sell you a set of priests’ vestments (gently used and carefully sanitized after each use)for a $295. Sweet Jeebus, the sexytime possibilities…”

JMP June 17, 2010 at 11:41 am

Now, there’s nothing racist about that statue; this is Jersey, it represents one of the overtanned white morons from the TV, I think Snooki.

Tundra Grifter June 17, 2010 at 11:44 am

My sister and brother and myself used to try to spot lawn jockys while driving around in our parents’ car. Then the world changed and we saw our first one painted with a white face…

SayItWithWookies June 17, 2010 at 11:45 am

[re=600724]13ollocks To The Rules[/re]: Act now and she’ll throw in two sets of tear-away altarboy robes.

V572625694 June 17, 2010 at 11:46 am

One would like to know what sort of search string led Our Wonkette to this listing.

slappypaddy June 17, 2010 at 11:47 am

such darling little pickaninnies. put one in your front yard and see what happens.

Prommie June 17, 2010 at 11:48 am

Hey, it would make a great episode of The Jersey Shore if Snooki and The Situation and the gang all head on down to West Creek to buy some genuine american lawn statues! I am sure hilarity would ensue!

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO June 17, 2010 at 11:49 am

Right, so, to be a TRUE USA AMERICAN, I have to be a racist asshole with a gun fetish?

You know, I really do love my country, but sometimes…

Prommie June 17, 2010 at 11:49 am

[re=600742]V572625694[/re]: 8 hours a day, sitting at this desk, there were no searches, I read EVERY listing.

WhatTheHeck June 17, 2010 at 11:49 am

The funny thing is, those (they are not racist to patriotic white people) statues are made by Chinese children in forced labor factories.

MattW June 17, 2010 at 11:50 am

Pretty sure this is the guy’s ebay profile: http://myworld.ebay.com/surfsidejack1/

Baldar T Flagass June 17, 2010 at 11:52 am

I was very disappointed that I was unable to check as baggage the Sleeping Mexican w/Sombrero I purchased at West Creek Statuary’s Arizona branch during my visit to Puerto Penasco this past weekend.

Cicada June 17, 2010 at 11:52 am


Yeah, wow.

I like that they’re keeping their line of racist knick-knacks current with the new 2010 “MEX.PEDRO JR”. There’s nothing worse than having the other Klan members sneer at your WATERMELON BOY statuette for being “so 2008″.

njknight June 17, 2010 at 11:55 am

South Jersey. Figures.

Prommie June 17, 2010 at 12:02 pm

[re=600755]MattW[/re]: Holy fucking shit, did you see the “zulu nudie black americana swizzle sticks?”

Oldskool June 17, 2010 at 12:02 pm

The South has risen after all and it went to Jersey.

user-of-owls June 17, 2010 at 12:04 pm

You know who represents a significant chunk of the market for these little charmers? African Americans…no lie.

“We have to break for a commercial, but stay tuned for more on ‘Behind The Appraisal: Antiques Roadshow Raw!’”

peanutbutterjellytime June 17, 2010 at 12:05 pm

The Craigslist poster thought: “I wish there was a way to make my capital letters even more capitalized. This really isn’t loud or obnoxious enough!” Does Craigslist not offer bold face?

Darkness June 17, 2010 at 12:13 pm

[re=600751]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: Wait, you JUST figured that out? I thought everyone here hung on every word Palin stumbled over. She pointed this out several times a day during the campaign, and weekly since then.

peggynoonansrickshaw June 17, 2010 at 12:15 pm

thanks but i already have a black person on my lawn. DAMNIT GO AWAY KEVIN!

Lazy Media June 17, 2010 at 12:19 pm

[re=600783]user-of-owls[/re]: You wouldn’t think there would be that big a market of African-American, black-Americana collectors in West Jersey. They must come over from Manhattan to save on sales tax or something. I mean, who ELSE would buy them?

ArugulaTeleprompterz June 17, 2010 at 12:19 pm

New Jersey you say? South Carolina is gonna be PISSED!

God Hates Faps June 17, 2010 at 12:21 pm

I’m glad to see that they have a past purchaser loophole for all of us non-true Americans. Luckily, I have purchased things in the past.

user-of-owls June 17, 2010 at 12:21 pm

[re=600803]Lazy Media[/re]: Yeah, it’s kind of a bifurcated market I guess.

Ninong June 17, 2010 at 12:23 pm

And jest in case the shotgun mailbox don’t keep all the commie pinko hippies from messin’ wit ya, git yerself one of my HITLER YOUTH KNIFE REPLICAS.

fictional character June 17, 2010 at 12:23 pm

hey somebody let me know if/when they make a gay sex lawn jockey somehow.

…gonna get my christmas shopping done early.

Lascauxcaveman June 17, 2010 at 12:23 pm

[re=600736]Tundra Grifter[/re]: There was one family in a neighborhood where I used to live that had two lawn jockeys. One black, one white on either side of the paved path that split their immaculately groomed yard in front of their immaculate bungalow.

I think this was their way of saying they were equally strong on kitsch and racial harmony.

ph7 June 17, 2010 at 12:25 pm

[re=600755]MattW[/re]: Also notice his recent sales of “Hitler Youth Knife (Replica)”

I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO June 17, 2010 at 12:33 pm

[re=600805]ArugulaTeleprompterz[/re]: Don’t forget Arizona. It’s been, what, six hours since the last major racist news from the TruckNutz state?

Autoo June 17, 2010 at 12:37 pm

I like that shot shell mailbox. It’s just one custom nose cone away from being an awesome lipstick mailbox. Or dildo mailbox.

Oblios Cap June 17, 2010 at 12:50 pm

They’re not figurines of black people. They represent the Jersey folks who went swimming in the Gulf for their summer vacation.

Johnny Zhivago June 17, 2010 at 12:57 pm

Those would go over great here in rural western NJ.

Unfortunately, I mean it – they REALLY would go over great here.

Johnny Zhivago June 17, 2010 at 12:59 pm

[re=600766]njknight[/re]: Hey, in Hunterdon County, I have to stop my mail from being delivered whenever I have a Democrat yard sign on the side of the road.

martinette June 17, 2010 at 2:09 pm

The Jim Crow Museum has place for this kind of bullshit:


But it’s sad to think that instead of classifying it as “historical” it falls under the category of “current events.”

S.Luggo June 17, 2010 at 2:33 pm

Rep. Steve King (R-Spittle Stain, Iowa) says he’ll take ten.

S.Luggo June 17, 2010 at 2:56 pm

Craigslist says, “This posting has been flagged for removal.” Booooo. Whatever happened to Freedom of Speech and the 2nd Amendment right to own Negros? I thought that this was America.

I am waiting for this guy to put his replica “Arbeit macht frei” signs on the market. He said they’ll come in only one color though. Ash.

For someone who is truly irony-impaired: http://www.workisfreedom.com/
He allows PayPal no less.

mfg June 17, 2010 at 3:03 pm

why did this get flagged for removal cmon

desertwind June 17, 2010 at 3:10 pm

Too PC.

No shuckin’ & jivin’
gangster rappin’ Obama?

plowman June 17, 2010 at 5:03 pm

Why stick with such moth-eaten racial stereotypes, where are all the concrete negros with a crack pipe, welfare card or 9mm in hand? And what about all these concrete mexicans pulling on their reluctant donkeys or sleeping in their sombrero? And, goddammit, I’m tired of the sizeism of yard gnomes and bigotry of plaster leprechauns, think of all the wonderful things little people and the Irish have brought us…

agitpropster June 17, 2010 at 8:06 pm


Q: What’s the difference between a Roman Catholic priest and a zit?

A: A zit comes on your face after you’re twelve.

WickedWitch June 17, 2010 at 8:24 pm

[re=600755]MattW[/re]: He gets a 5-star rating from some guy named CrazyHoss. Oy.

Veritas78 June 17, 2010 at 8:40 pm

I hope you’re all happy — it’s “flagged for removal”, meaning that we’ve deprived another hardworking Merkin of his/her livelihood, and we’ll get sued so no more Wonkette. Why do you hate pickaninny painters so? Can’t we all just get along?

slappypaddy June 17, 2010 at 10:57 pm

[re=601254]plowman[/re]: what about a concrete negro of that fellow in the white house? life-size would be best. that would be big enough, and he wouldn’t want it any larger.

Dolmance June 18, 2010 at 12:44 am

These things are appalling, but God forgive me, I want one.

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