racial progress

That's not racial transcendence.RACIST LAWN DECORATIONS FOR SALE, IN 2010, IN NEW JERSEY: Hooray for Diversity of Thought! An alert Wonkette operative found these charming lawn jockeys and other racist trinkets common in the 19th Century available for sale right now! “WE WILL BE OPEN SELLING OUR CUSTOM MADE STATUES,” says the Craigslist ad. “WE ALSO HAVE VERY LARGE HUGE RED SHOTGUN SHELL MAILBOX WE CATER TO ALL PAST PURCHASERS AND TRUE AMERICANS. WOW WOW WOW.” Uhh. [Craigslist]

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About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

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51 comments

  1. norbizness

    I’ll admit that the Jersey Shore craigslist is a higher-quality publication than either National Review Online or RedState, but still falls short of what I consider substantive comment-worthy.

  2. ManchuCandidate

    How would they know who’s a TRUE US Americun or not?

    In the olden days it used to be easy cause FALSE US Americuns last names ended with an A, I, O, U, and Z and sometimes E (those sneaky Es.) Now how can one tell? Do they have to send in pictures of their Truck Nutz for these ceramic wonders of racial diversity?

  3. Ducksworthy

    Too bad the new for 2010 mex.pedro JR sculpture wasn’t ready for the Craigslist pitcher takin’.

  4. ph7

    MANY TO CHOOSE FROM BOTH PAINTED AND UNPAINTED

    Unpainted? For frugal racists, or those whose enjoy the extra level of racist gratification that only comes from applying the skin color themselves?

  5. 13ollocks To The Rules

    OMFG….the Rastus watermelon boy….”Boy! Ah sayed boy! Move yur black ass an’ gemme sum more watermelon!…..gawd damn nigras, caint do nuthin’ raht….burp….”
    AKA “the good old days”
    Incidentally, if you click back to the “for sale” listings, there are items of pure gold up there, like this one: http://jerseyshore.craigslist.org/clo/1796586859.html
    Apparently, “Miss Cathy” is closing up her “establishment” and will sell you a set of priests’ vestments (gently used and carefully sanitized after each use)for a $295. Sweet Jeebus, the sexytime possibilities…”

  6. JMP

    Now, there’s nothing racist about that statue; this is Jersey, it represents one of the overtanned white morons from the TV, I think Snooki.

  7. Tundra Grifter

    My sister and brother and myself used to try to spot lawn jockys while driving around in our parents’ car. Then the world changed and we saw our first one painted with a white face…

  8. SayItWithWookies

    [re=600724]13ollocks To The Rules[/re]: Act now and she’ll throw in two sets of tear-away altarboy robes.

  9. Prommie

    Hey, it would make a great episode of The Jersey Shore if Snooki and The Situation and the gang all head on down to West Creek to buy some genuine american lawn statues! I am sure hilarity would ensue!

  10. I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO

    Right, so, to be a TRUE USA AMERICAN, I have to be a racist asshole with a gun fetish?

    You know, I really do love my country, but sometimes…

  11. Prommie

    [re=600742]V572625694[/re]: 8 hours a day, sitting at this desk, there were no searches, I read EVERY listing.

  12. WhatTheHeck

    The funny thing is, those (they are not racist to patriotic white people) statues are made by Chinese children in forced labor factories.

  13. Baldar T Flagass

    I was very disappointed that I was unable to check as baggage the Sleeping Mexican w/Sombrero I purchased at West Creek Statuary’s Arizona branch during my visit to Puerto Penasco this past weekend.

  14. Cicada

    RASTUS SR WATERMELON BOY SHOESHINE BOY JOCKEY BOY
    VIRGIN MARY BLACK ROOSTER RED CARDINAL AND NEW
    FOR 2010 MEX.PEDRO JR
    ALSO SOON TO COME IS RASTUS JR THE FISHERBOY.
    WOW

    Yeah, wow.

    I like that they’re keeping their line of racist knick-knacks current with the new 2010 “MEX.PEDRO JR”. There’s nothing worse than having the other Klan members sneer at your WATERMELON BOY statuette for being “so 2008″.

  15. Prommie

    [re=600755]MattW[/re]: Holy fucking shit, did you see the “zulu nudie black americana swizzle sticks?”

  16. user-of-owls

    You know who represents a significant chunk of the market for these little charmers? African Americans…no lie.

    “We have to break for a commercial, but stay tuned for more on ‘Behind The Appraisal: Antiques Roadshow Raw!’”

  17. peanutbutterjellytime

    The Craigslist poster thought: “I wish there was a way to make my capital letters even more capitalized. This really isn’t loud or obnoxious enough!” Does Craigslist not offer bold face?

  18. Darkness

    [re=600751]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: Wait, you JUST figured that out? I thought everyone here hung on every word Palin stumbled over. She pointed this out several times a day during the campaign, and weekly since then.

  19. Lazy Media

    [re=600783]user-of-owls[/re]: You wouldn’t think there would be that big a market of African-American, black-Americana collectors in West Jersey. They must come over from Manhattan to save on sales tax or something. I mean, who ELSE would buy them?

  20. God Hates Faps

    I’m glad to see that they have a past purchaser loophole for all of us non-true Americans. Luckily, I have purchased things in the past.

  21. Ninong

    And jest in case the shotgun mailbox don’t keep all the commie pinko hippies from messin’ wit ya, git yerself one of my HITLER YOUTH KNIFE REPLICAS.

  22. fictional character

    hey somebody let me know if/when they make a gay sex lawn jockey somehow.

    …gonna get my christmas shopping done early.

  23. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=600736]Tundra Grifter[/re]: There was one family in a neighborhood where I used to live that had two lawn jockeys. One black, one white on either side of the paved path that split their immaculately groomed yard in front of their immaculate bungalow.

    I think this was their way of saying they were equally strong on kitsch and racial harmony.

  24. I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO

    [re=600805]ArugulaTeleprompterz[/re]: Don’t forget Arizona. It’s been, what, six hours since the last major racist news from the TruckNutz state?

  25. Autoo

    I like that shot shell mailbox. It’s just one custom nose cone away from being an awesome lipstick mailbox. Or dildo mailbox.

  26. Oblios Cap

    They’re not figurines of black people. They represent the Jersey folks who went swimming in the Gulf for their summer vacation.

  27. Johnny Zhivago

    Those would go over great here in rural western NJ.

    Unfortunately, I mean it – they REALLY would go over great here.

  28. Johnny Zhivago

    [re=600766]njknight[/re]: Hey, in Hunterdon County, I have to stop my mail from being delivered whenever I have a Democrat yard sign on the side of the road.

  29. S.Luggo

    Craigslist says, “This posting has been flagged for removal.” Booooo. Whatever happened to Freedom of Speech and the 2nd Amendment right to own Negros? I thought that this was America.

    I am waiting for this guy to put his replica “Arbeit macht frei” signs on the market. He said they’ll come in only one color though. Ash.

    For someone who is truly irony-impaired: http://www.workisfreedom.com/
    He allows PayPal no less.

  30. plowman

    Why stick with such moth-eaten racial stereotypes, where are all the concrete negros with a crack pipe, welfare card or 9mm in hand? And what about all these concrete mexicans pulling on their reluctant donkeys or sleeping in their sombrero? And, goddammit, I’m tired of the sizeism of yard gnomes and bigotry of plaster leprechauns, think of all the wonderful things little people and the Irish have brought us…

  31. agitpropster

    [re=600740]SayItWithWookies[/re]:

    Q: What’s the difference between a Roman Catholic priest and a zit?

    A: A zit comes on your face after you’re twelve.

  32. Veritas78

    I hope you’re all happy — it’s “flagged for removal”, meaning that we’ve deprived another hardworking Merkin of his/her livelihood, and we’ll get sued so no more Wonkette. Why do you hate pickaninny painters so? Can’t we all just get along?

  33. slappypaddy

    [re=601254]plowman[/re]: what about a concrete negro of that fellow in the white house? life-size would be best. that would be big enough, and he wouldn’t want it any larger.

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