america's tackiest state

Florida Update: Democrats Now Have Permission To Vote For Charlie Crist

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America's trailer park.Popular moderate orange-skinned married-to-a-lady-now Republican Governor Charlie Crist was knocked out of the Florida GOP Senate primary by angry teabaggers and their angry Tea Party candidate Marco Rubio, and now the “independent” Crist is looking pretty good to Democrats. Why? Well mostly because some insane rich slob has bought his way onto the Democratic ticket, and the guy is really gross and weird — even for Florida.

The Politico has this important political update:

Democrats are beginning to consider the increasingly realistic prospect that their nominee might be a “meltdown mogul” — one who collects erotic art, had Mike Tyson serve as his best man and once hosted “Hollywood Madam” Heidi Fleiss as a house guest.

Tacky, sure, but not a dealbreaker for Floridians, who are the tackiest people in America. The thing that makes Greene unpalatable to the people who welcomed Rush Limbaugh and O.J. Simpson may be the way Greene made his fortune: By betting against the housing market and cashing in on the collapse of Florida’s real estate. [Politico]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne


Hey there, Wonkeputians! Shypixel here to remind you to remember our Commenting Rules For Radicals, Enjoy!

  • V572625694

    Floridians the tackiest people in Amurrica, Ken? Have you been to Alabama? Or Texas?

  • Serolf Divad

    Wait… don’t most legislators have a very extensive collection of erotic art on the hard drives of their office PC’s, anyway?

  • JMP

    After 2000 and the Bush years the Greenes should have learned to stop trying to make the Democratic party lose, but they’re still at it.

  • ttommyunger

    So, he’s a scumbag with money. Sounds like a perfect fit to me!

  • bored with gravity

    Since Florida is America’s penis, I see no problem with a senator such as Greene.

  • Johnny Zhivago

    Is this guy related to Alvin Greene?

  • freakishlystrong

    Awful. Ken has deemed me tacky, and I may just have to cast a stinky vote for ole’ Charlie, just to keep teabag Rubio out of the Senate.

  • coolcatdaddy

    Needs moar sex scandal.

  • SayItWithWookies

    It would be especially funny — in a sad, pathetic, Florida Democratic way — if the candidate the Dems backed got indicted for corruption in a GOP fund-raising scandal. Meanwhile, Kendrick Meek is probably getting used to people talking about him as though he wasn’t there.

  • V572625694

    Mister Meek happens to be a person of the Black persuasion, which may not sit well with some Floridians in the Panhandle (America’s taint).

  • Tommmcatt


    How could you leave Nevada off that list? Have you ever been to Laughlin?

  • bureaucrap

    I had it on good authority that Meek was supposed to inherit the (nomination) earth.

  • V572625694

    [re=599842]Tommmcatt[/re]: B-but Nevada has Las Vegas, with a fake Eiffel Tower and a fake Venice and a fake New York….isn’t that classy as all getout? Besides, you couldn’t tell the difference between Ken’s part of California and Nevada if they didn’t put up a sign at the border, and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. I fear the ban hammer.

  • charlesdegoal

    OK but we know which one of them will end up inheriting the earth. Maybe after the next ice age, but still.

  • crapshooter102

    [re=599829]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Yes; Husband-in-Law by marriage.

  • Guppy06

    Can’t make myself care about the senate race at this point. Maybe after the primaries I can’t vote in.

    Much more fun to listen to Corrine Brown twist in the wind trying to defend our God-given right to gerrymandering.

    Between this and other lawsuits and the Legislature throwing in a poison pill on the ballot to try to kill it, I’m looking forward to things getting real ugly real fast.

  • Oblios Cap

    That asshat’s (Greene)commercials have been running constantly for a month. He’s an annoying SOB. He’s been using the time-honored Florida tradition of having his aged mother appearing in his ads telling everyone what a good boy her Jeffy is.

    I’m voting for Kendrick.

  • crapshooter102

    [re=599838]V572625694[/re]: How dare you speak unkindly of the people of Joe Scarbotough’s neighborhood. We all (Rednecks) know Joe just moved to New Jersey to rake in a little Yankee Cash and talk to Mika. Now that is honorable work for a Panhandler. Besides he can still sit in his High Chair and bash the Dems. Honorable Work, I tell ya.

  • I Heart Accuracy

    Protesting in the median of US-1, or GTFO.

  • SayItWithWookies

    [re=599850]V572625694[/re]: Oh, and it’s just plain rude to mention tackiness without a shout-out to Wall Drug, SD. The rest of the state could be Edwardian in its decorum and still that mess would make up for it.

  • Terry

    That license plate says Retired and No complaints. I wonder if the person who made that graphic has actually MET any retired people, let alone retired people in Florida. Complaining is a form of recreation.

  • queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=599814]V572625694[/re]: [re=599886]SayItWithWookies[/re]: [re=599842]Tommmcatt[/re]: Now if we’re gonna get into a pissing contest over tacky, I need not remind y’all that Mississippi is the Mount Rushmore of tacky. I mean, seriously, we gave the world Elvis, Travis Childers, and Haley Barbour, not to mention the Redneck Riviera of Biloxi/Gulfport/Pass Christian/Pascagoula (which makes the nuclear wasteland of South Texas look positively genteel).

    Oh, and Oprah is from Kosciusko. Game, set, match.

  • megs

    Way to link to Politico.

  • gurukalehuru

    Oh, the Greene plants of the South.

  • Accordion-o-rama

    Has is always been Florida’s policy to put a picture in the Governor’s penis on their license plates?

    If so, I’m really looking forward to the campaign ads.


    I think if one is talking about the word “tacky” – it has to be Florida.

  • Geogre

    So, he has erotic art of Mike Tyson, and he serves Heidi Fleiss? Well, at least she’s a nice Jewish girl.

    Actually, the pr0wn appeals to the panhandle, the Tyson to Miami, and … ok… Tampa and Tallahassee are a loss.

  • Abou Diaby

    I’m from Florida and I admit that we’re the tackiest state. We’re the gaudiest state too. Our rich folks love greek columns and gold plated toilets. They think it’s fancy.

    I’m voting for Crist for several reasons. 1) Meek is not promoting himself. If his numbers are just as low in November as they are now then voting for him is a vote for Rubio. 2) Rubio is the teabagger golden boy. If he wins it will give them legitimacy. 3) Crist will not run for the presidency. 4) He will probably caucus with the dems. If he doesn’t and tacks right at least he’s not Marco Fucking Rubio.