BORED RICH PEOPLE SCREWING EACH OTHER  8:59 pm June 15, 2010

Al Gore & Laurie David: Did They Have 2-Year Sexytime Affair?!

by Ken Layne

If we knew a famous line from 'Curb Your Enthusiasm,' this is where we'd put it.Whoa, forget the oil spill, here is some tabloid sexytime gossip about Al Gore: The Star reports tonight that Gore has been having a sex affair for two years with Laurie David, the environmental activist and ex-wife of teevee grouch Larry David. Is this true? Well it was true about another southern politician who wanted to be president and some lady sort of connected peripherally to the entertainment business, as reported by a different tabloid, two years ago!

Here is the promotional announcement from the supermarket weekly:

In the June 28 issue of Star, on sale Wednesday, we report that Al and Tipper’s breakup didn’t come as much of a surprise to one Hollywood player — Laurie David. Star has learned that Al has been having an affair with Laurie, who divorced Seinfeld creator and Curb Your Enthusiasm star Larry David in 2007 amidst reports she was cheating with the caretaker of their Martha’s Vineyard summer home.

“Al and Laurie went from friends to lovers,” an insider tells Star. “It couldn’t be avoided.”

That’s right, America: These things can never be avoided. If people could avoid doing bad things, well, it would be like we had free will and were responsible adults instead of bloated children having a tantrum because they can’t eat everything in Willy Wonka’s factory.

Anyway, if true, this affair would confirm once again why Al Gore did not run for president. So he’s smarter than John Edwards, a little bit, at least. [The Star]

 

Hola wonkerados.

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{ 67 comments }

Jim89048 June 15, 2010 at 9:09 pm

She said she didn’t do it.

Good enough for me, but I’d hit that.

DoktorZoom June 15, 2010 at 9:11 pm

Don’t be ridiculous. That woman looks nothing like Larry David’s real wife, Cheryl Hines.

Delicious June 15, 2010 at 9:13 pm

Need a quote from Larry David? Here’s a classic rant:

“Why do Christians take everything so personally with Christ? You Know? It’s like not only do you have to worship him, you want everybody to. It’s like, I like lobster. Do I go around pushing lobster on people? Do I say “You must like lobster”? “Eat lobster! It’s good. It’s good.” You know, it’s not only where you live; you go to Africa. You travel all over the world. “Eat lobster! Have some more lobster! It’s good!”

druranium June 15, 2010 at 9:13 pm

Ha ha! Al Gore=Augustus Gloop.

rocktonsammy June 15, 2010 at 9:17 pm

We’re acting more like the French every day.

Cripes almighty Al!

Godless Liberal June 15, 2010 at 9:18 pm

How is this scandal even Wonkette-worthy? If Al had been carrying on an affair with Larry David…actually, that wouldn’t work either. Now, T. Boone Pickens, that’s a story.

Come here a minute June 15, 2010 at 9:18 pm

Laurie David = Veruca Salt

Seether is neither big nor small.
Seether is the center of it all.

nappyduggs June 15, 2010 at 9:19 pm

God, I can’t even begin to imagine the sex chatter between either pairing. Well, maybe between Larry David and Al Gore- but they didn’t pork. Right?

FormerDCite June 15, 2010 at 9:21 pm

If the rumors are true, then it would be the least boring thing Al has done.
P.S. Thanks for the internets Al….

thehelveticascenario June 15, 2010 at 9:21 pm

This revelation makes global warming instantly not exist.

chascates June 15, 2010 at 9:24 pm

And who were those Hollywood friends of the Clintons, Arkansawyers by birth, that ‘helped’ him during the unpleasantess involving blowjobs? Are our politicians now no more than the eastern equivalent of Britney Spears or Mel Bigson?

Never mind.

bago June 15, 2010 at 9:27 pm

Al gore is fat, the planet is hot. Do I have to make a Friedman joke?

Mr Blifil June 15, 2010 at 9:28 pm

I called it, no backsies. Or rather Mrs. Blifil called it. Now in her honor I will attempt to perpetrate sexytime upon her. It cannot be avoided.

Seriously look up my comments history, I am not shitting you. In fact given the current state of my dietary habits, I’m not exactly sure what it is I am shitting. Maybe Freedom.

ShiningMathPath June 15, 2010 at 9:29 pm

“it was true about another southern politician … and some lady sort of connected peripherally.” That actually sounds kind of exotic.

Monsieur Grumpe June 15, 2010 at 9:30 pm

There is no one left to look up to except for Gumby damnit and I’m fairly certain he ain’t real.

Beowoof June 15, 2010 at 9:32 pm

[re=599445]rocktonsammy[/re]: Did you mean crepes almighty

Monsieur Grumpe June 15, 2010 at 9:33 pm

[re=599466]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]:
Well, maybe Leon Redbone. He’s real… right?

chascates June 15, 2010 at 9:43 pm

The concept of Al Gore having sex at all is pretty unpleasant. Until I consider the subject using Karl Rove or Rush Limbaugh instead. Then it is strictly horrible.

Country Club Jihadi June 15, 2010 at 9:52 pm

Well, I hope they were willing to sleep in the wet spot or use only one square of toilet paper to mop up the moisture. Gawd, they both gross me out.

Limeylizzie June 15, 2010 at 9:57 pm

I suspect Al may be one of those boring men who are complete sexual animals, and as an aside I noticed once when he was on Conan some years ago , that he is really blessed in the old penis department,he was wearing chinos and bulging all over the place.

kayebee June 15, 2010 at 10:05 pm

[re=599481]Limeylizzie[/re]: So, um, that Rolling Stone cover was for real?

http://www.bartcop.com/jpg/gorepak3.jpg

Limeylizzie June 15, 2010 at 10:20 pm

[re=599485]kayebee[/re]: Yep, Al has quite the package!

hotdog June 15, 2010 at 10:20 pm

“I did not have sexual relations with that woman.”

zhubajie June 15, 2010 at 10:21 pm

Al, just move to Chiang Mai, enjoy quality women in quantity.

rocktonsammy June 15, 2010 at 10:31 pm

[re=599468]Beowoof[/re]: being from wisconsin, it works both ways.

Aurelio June 15, 2010 at 10:40 pm

[re=599490]Limeylizzie[/re]: I am shocked, LL, that you would take such interest in Al’s pecker. I mean, look at the rest of him. Negative net utility.

Hooray For Anything June 15, 2010 at 10:43 pm

Not that I wasn’t excited for the next season of “Curb,” but now I’m REALLY excited for the next season of “Curb.”

[re=599463]Mr Blifil[/re]: I totally called it too.

Rachel Ray Jihad June 15, 2010 at 10:44 pm

This sounds like a great plot for “Curb Your Enthusiasm.”

lamoll June 15, 2010 at 10:56 pm

Wow. I totally didn’t call it — I kept hoping that Tipper took the Susan Sarandon route — but, hey: there’s still time!
and Aurelio: you have summed up my reaction to Al Gore so elegantly: negative net utility

Sharkey June 15, 2010 at 11:01 pm

Larry David must be a really lousy lover (?)

SuzyQ June 15, 2010 at 11:15 pm

Oh Al. Al, Al. So vulgar, so common.

This is even more disappointing than when Woody Allen revealed himself, for real, as a pedophilic narcissist.

SayItWithWookies June 15, 2010 at 11:29 pm

Typical Al — the one human thing he does his whole life and he tries to hide it. Well I hope they keep this quieter than Johnny Boy glorified suburban narcissism binge — why that man hasn’t left Rielle Hunter for his own head of hair I’ll never know.

Radiotherapy June 15, 2010 at 11:41 pm

This is almost as bad as when he lost becoming president. It was basically handed too him on a silver platter. The economy (however hollow) was booming, pre 9/11 hysteria, and a gubment surplus. His opponent was a dolt with nothing more than a proto-theocratic, oil-soaked Rovian/Cheney agenda. He couldn’t even win his home state.
Yeah, this is almost as bad.

Canmon (the Inadequate) June 15, 2010 at 11:50 pm

Now the ending of Curb makes sense. They were about to get back together and then they started arguing over a piece of wood.

WadISay June 15, 2010 at 11:52 pm

[re=599521]Radiotherapy[/re]: Al lost because in 2000 America would rather have a beer with George Bush, who was (notionally) on the wagon, yet. Now you find out that you could have a beer with Al, and the next thing you know he would have his ovipositor down your throat.

Diana Davies June 16, 2010 at 12:02 am

So it’s true. Everybody’s boning somebody.

Radiotherapy June 16, 2010 at 12:09 am

[re=599525]WadISay[/re]: Yep, now were stuck with the worst pick-up line ever…Wanna see my knob, er, Nobel Prize?

{BTW, what a gorgeous pup!}

V572625694 June 16, 2010 at 12:12 am

[re=599433]Jim89048[/re]: Not sure Laurie David’s hittable. She looks pretty nice, but jeez all that scolding: “Couldn’t you at least unplug the clocks when you’re not looking at them?”

harry palmer June 16, 2010 at 12:17 am

If Al’s cock is as big as they say it is, not only would he be boring, he’d be hollowing them out.

Brick Oven Bill June 16, 2010 at 12:20 am

Al Gore, you know, has a mansion that you can see from space. He also is partners in this whole Generations Investment, Limited Liability Corporation, with David Blood, Goldman Sachs.

Not like there is anything wrong with that.

dex June 16, 2010 at 12:35 am

then you could say – for the gores, this affair was an “inconvenient truth”!

hey-oh! hot cha cha cha!

harry palmer June 16, 2010 at 12:38 am

So convenient to get the Fox News roundup delivered here. If you only looked more like a barbie doll and had that much intellectual range, maybe they’d let you intern there, provided you sucked O’Reilly’s dick.

Guppy06 June 16, 2010 at 12:38 am

I’m sorry, but Republicans have just been raising the bar on sex scandals way too high. There needs to be a mix of hypocrisy in with the ass-fucking. He’d pretty much have to be banging Sarah Palin.

Texan Bulldoggette June 16, 2010 at 12:43 am

I like how Al is taking one for the Democratic team. Now who’s going to be talking about Barry’s somewhat uninspiring/lackluster/check-his-pulse/doesn’t this dude’s staff watch ANY cableTV(?) speech?

Guppy06 June 16, 2010 at 12:48 am

Tipper, on the other hand, has an easier time of having a truly interesting sex scandal. She can just fuck Prince.

harry palmer June 16, 2010 at 1:01 am

[re=599540]Guppy06[/re]: Unless Al and this environmental wacko-lady liked to do it w/ the lights on, and they had to be incandescent bulbs.

Guppy06 June 16, 2010 at 1:11 am

[re=599542]harry palmer[/re]: No, it’d have to involve setting fire to actual barrels of oil as foreplay, before copulating on a pile of plastic grocery bags. And even then, he’s still no Rekers.

harry palmer June 16, 2010 at 1:21 am

[re=599543]Guppy06[/re]: True – his massive pecker’s the wrecker.

Bearbloke June 16, 2010 at 2:17 am

/snark off

Hey! Couldn’t Gore put his Enviro-cred to work heckling and shaming BP across the world and expressing the right level of popular outrage, and allow Obama to by the calm, sorted, decisive one?

/snark on

Zorg June 16, 2010 at 2:46 am

A actual Hollywood producer? Al may have the dick, but Laurie’s got the balls. At least in this relationship. Offering odds that the Star flubbed this one.

obfuscator June 16, 2010 at 2:47 am

[re=599539]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: i’m still actually glad that barry doesn’t watch cable news. i just wish he’d put his foot up bp’s ass… in rhetorical sense, obviously.

/put them in the stocks ’til they rot.

schvitzatura June 16, 2010 at 2:50 am

Al Gore, accepting sloppy seconds?

I could see that…

zhubajie June 16, 2010 at 4:04 am

Why do our politicians settle for ugly women? LD is better-looking than Tipper, but still, you might as well be hanged for sheep as for lamb!

zhubajie June 16, 2010 at 4:11 am

[re=599537]Guppy06[/re]: Oh G-d! Is it possible? Is HE Tryg’s father?

facehead June 16, 2010 at 5:05 am

[re=599558]schvitzatura[/re]: of course he’s going to recycle.

[re=599531]harry palmer[/re]: YOU are a clever goose.

zhubajie June 16, 2010 at 6:03 am

[re=599537]Guppy06[/re]: Or Todd!

Geogre June 16, 2010 at 6:44 am

The Star has mastered time travel!

Their June 28th edition, the one published on June 28th, is out today. Whoa. Someone alert Rand Paul. If The Star can work its time bending backwards as well as forwards, he can go back to a happy time in Kentucky where he’ll be elected before he was born and vote against the Civil Rights Act, but only part of it.

Lazy Media June 16, 2010 at 7:39 am

This is particularly lame gossip. The other tabloids have DIFFERENT bullshit stories about what broke up Al and Tipper. One (National Enquirer, which has the best track record for accuracy on this crap) sez Tipper’s a craxzy jealous bitch for no good reason, while a third (The Globe, which is nearly always bullshit) sez Al was having a gay homosexual affair.

Mr Blifil June 16, 2010 at 7:44 am

Obviously the new standard for commitment to the environment is whether or not you have boned Laurie David. There may be hotter and more attractive women on this big blue marble, but what kind if legacy are we leaving our children if we become apathetic about our stewardship of Gaia? 10 years from now it will be too late to say we had our chance to bone Laurie David and failed to take it.

Tcaalaw June 16, 2010 at 8:11 am

[re=599485]kayebee[/re]: Sweet Mother of God, I can’t unsee that! A warning before posting Gore pr0n next time, please?

vespula maculata June 16, 2010 at 8:19 am

Laurie simply HAS to tell us now how she stayed awake!

facehead June 16, 2010 at 8:25 am

[re=599581]Mr Blifil[/re]: So true. People don’t realize how often Rachel Carson took it in the rump to save the bald eagle.

Larry McAwful June 16, 2010 at 9:13 am

What song lyrics made Al Gore do this thing? Enquiring minds want to know.

groove June 16, 2010 at 9:51 am

Good upgrade IMO.

crapshooter102 June 16, 2010 at 11:40 am

Wasn’t this the same woman who was carrying-on with her Contractor while he was overhauling her home in Mass? I believe that with two alleged paramours, she would qualify as a candidate for the Republican Governor of South Carolina. Lets start a write-in petition.

Mr Blifil June 16, 2010 at 12:27 pm

[re=599592]facehead[/re]: Precisely, and as for Laurie David, it appears there is one socket she prefers never to be unplugged.

Mahousu June 16, 2010 at 3:12 pm

Wait, I am confused by the sequence here:

Laurie … was cheating with the caretaker of their Martha’s Vineyard summer home.

“Al and Laurie went from friends to lovers,” an insider tells Star. “It couldn’t be avoided.”

Does this mean Al Gore was the caretaker for the Davids’ summer place? Biggest comedown for a joint Nobel/Oscar winner ever!

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