Hey isn’t he supposed to be plugging the danged hole, America? Each year, at the beginning of shrimp season, Barack Obama blesses the fleet of oil-spill cleanup boats. Why isn’t BP honoring this tradition today? Where are all the windmills! What is he even talking about? At least this isn’t the “last crisis America will face.”
We planned to do liveblogging on this historic night of Barack Obama’s first televised speech from the Oval Office, but it went so quick! Still, we can live-blog whatever nonsense people say on the teevee in response, right?
8:19 PM — Have you ever stood on a muddy swamp-beach in the summertime on the Gulf of Mexico and watched the beautiful ceremony of the Blessing of the Shrimp Boats? Well then how dare you call yourself an American, sir.
8:20 PM — See this guy on CNN, the parish president of whatever crazy Cajun-French? That is really how everybody talks. It is an interesting American culture! Plus, terrible things always happen there.
8:21 PM — Snake-creep James Carville agrees it was a special speech about oil spills, but maybe not that much.
8:23 PM — Oh good god it’s 60,000 barrels now, per day? Is Anderson Cooper right? Well, rather than find out — and risk listening to Mary Matalin for even two seconds — let’s go to MSNBC.
8:25 PM — Chris Matthews wants America’s Youth to go clean up the oil and wonders if “the unions” won’t let people do this, while Keith Olbermann says BP is blocking volunteers, so there are no pictures of the “goddamned” (!) dispersants making people get sick?
8:28 PM — And Obama did cite World War II, and our Moon Battles there, and Howard Fineman says Obama is not enough of an FDR (the socialist), etc.
8:28 PM — Who knows, man. Who knows. Maybe there is nothing to be done. And we should all just weep, silently, in the gas lines, listening to the AM radio, with Gerald Ford talking about inflation.
8:30 PM — Bloomberg teevee is repeating the speech, for some reason? What, they don’t have YouTube over there? Well maybe we’ll see the five minutes we missed.
8:31 PM — What was George W. Bush’s first address from the Oval Office? The day after 9/11? What was Clinton’s? Where is our research intern?
8:32 PM — So Obama called it the “BP Deepwater Horizon” offshore rig/well, so relax, England!
8:32 PM — Ideas, advice, experts, academia, etc. So 90% of the well leakage will be stopped by … a few weeks? When? Says who?
8:33 PM — All the dang robots we’ve got doing things everywhere — building cars, defusing bombs, vacuuming our floors, doing all kinds of surgery in people’s hearts and butts — and there’s no robot that can do a little better? DARPA doesn’t have some kind of Secret Submarine that can go 5,000 feet down?
8:35 PM — That’s really the horrible and mostly-unsaid thing here: We wouldn’t be tapping the inky depths of Gulf of Mexico if we could easily get oil elsewhere. In a decade or so, will the Gulf Oil Spill be the thing people remember as the End of the Oil Era? And will it be remembered as a fairly smooth transition or as a Decade of Incredible Pain & Civil War? And what kind of futuristic clothing will the survivors be wearing, in 2020?
8:39 PM — Oh good, there’s going to be a commission to study things.
8:40 PM — That picture? That’s Obama’s motorcade at a BP station in Washington, at 13th & N NW! (It’s a picture from a year and a half ago, so why won’t Obama denounce this picture of his Secret Service people filling up at a now-hated brand of gas station?)
8:42 PM — Eh, we’re watching the Alternative Energy Pitch part of the speech. And we’re all for that, etc., but, eh.
8:43 PM — Oh, a national mission! That sounds fun. So, jobs for people? A website, maybe a place to sign up? Where are these old factories with the jobs making windmills? Because, you know, a lot of people need jobs!
8:45 PM — Al Gore & Lauri David had a sex affair for two years, according to The Star celebrity sex-affair tabloid.
8:46 PM — Well let’s do a post about that, sounds more “fun” than this endless bummer.
{ 89 comments }
Big fail. Big letdown. No ideas.
Needs moar oil!
It was a pretty lousy address. The “Ode to America’s pointless wars” at the beginning was particularly disheartening.
Totally missed all three minutes of the speech because MSNBC’s player decided today was an awesome day to quit working. So anyone get some Rich Lowry-esque starbursts?
BO, BP, (B)BQ…?
A limey on NPR is complaining Obama didn’t mention the American companies who were also involved. And so far as ‘escrow accounts’ are concerned does that mean Countryside or Goldman Sachs will be involved?
Will the BanK of England or the ‘Crown’ keep BP from going bankrupted? Is the Queen Herself somehow profiting from this oil bidness? And what’s so special about Heinz baked beans? FOR BREAKFAST? ON FRIED TOAST?!?!
Oh goody, I am heartened to know there are yet more crises in the works.
Chris Matthews: “Lets round up an army of young volunteers, get ‘em down there to clean up this mess and suffer long term health problems from exposure to the crude/dispersant chemical cocktail!”
[re=599399]chascates[/re]: Don’t try to understand the Full English Breakfast, it’ll just make your head hurt.
And you don’t even get any English Muffins for recompense.
Drudge Announces:
BARACK PETROLEUM
with additional horseshit:
OBAMA TO PUSH NEW NATIONAL TAX ON ‘CARBON’…
SEN.: PAY $1 A DAY TO COOL EARTH!
REPUBLICAN LEADER MCCONNELL: NO…
BOEHNER: ‘NATIONAL ENERGY TAX WILL DESTROY MORE AMERICAN JOBS’…
BP was founding member of ‘cap-and-trade’ lobby…
…it’s not over yet?!, “fighting the oil spill for months, even years” Golly, looking forward to more dithering from all parties.
Bad speech, bad president, hopeless.
Great photo, I think I see Richard Dryfuss clambering down the rocks, leaving Hanrahan’s gay wife behind. So sad…
Drowning James ‘Turtlehead’ Carville may appease the Water Demon Gods or at least make for interesting television. Take his wife, also.
[re=599409]WeepingSilently[/re]: More “silently.” Please.
Weak. The O did not say “Gather your armies”. He is letting the Teabags steal all of the good phrases.
Cuba’s civil defense chief said Tuesday that authorities are preparing coastal residents for the oil spill fouling the Gulf of Mexico, and a top military official said its possible arrival would be “a disaster.”
Both Espinosa and Pardo said the island will rely on the expertise of Venezuela, one of Cuba’s top allies and a major oil producer.
Let’s make this as interesting as possible. If there’s anyway to get this spill into the Arabian Ocean we should have people working on it. If we have people that can work on crises.
We are SO fucked.
…what kind of futuristic clothing will the survivors be wearing, in 2020?
Industrial hemp. The sweet silky hemp worn by George Washington.
government + business = Beyond Pathetic.
[re=599413]Cmoney[/re]: Obama should hire all the unemployed to clean up the gulf….oh wait…..they would all be poisoned by Corexit and place a further burden on the medical system.
Exon subsidy chemical corporate win!
Big Pharma win!
Big Oil win!
Corporate Champions
…and what the FUCK is with all this prayer shit? How about just ‘bend over and kiss your ass goodbye?’ What’s an atheist to DO?
NOVA was doing anthropology and it sounds like I made the right call.
Needs more vuvuzela.
[re=599409]WeepingSilently[/re]: Oh go and weep on Palin’s shouder.
Hey,
Mind if I hang out here awhile. Rob S. over at HP is pissed at me for inferring he and his fellow censors have shit for brains.
I just want to sit quietly here in the corner for a while.
I’ll stay your of the way. Promise.
Thanks.
“Dans ce pays-ci, il est bon de tuer de temps en temps un amiral pour encourager les autres.”
I think that the spirit of Voltaire’s dictum would serve us well in the Gulf.
I could also get behind a literal application. Some of those Coast Guard trypes are only marginally less annoying than the BP execs.
Oh… and thanks for letting me say shit without having to put those cartoon marks between the S and the H. That’s such a pain in the ass to have to do.
ok
Now I’ll be quiet.
[re=599426]999theAntiAntiChrist[/re]: One of my favourite things about the Wonkette is the truly breathtaking amount of swearing that is permitted..nay…encouraged. Cunt, cunt, cunt, twat…see?
[re=599399]chascates[/re]:
Excuse me but you do not eat Heinz Baked Beans on fried toast, you eat them on regular toast, unless you are having them with a “Full English Breakfast” which involves large amounts of bacon, mushrooms, sausages, canned tomatoes, fried eggs, fried bread and baked beans, which is totally different than beans on toast. Do you know nothing?
[re=599428]Limeylizzie[/re]: Can you explain the significance of ‘gor blimey’ (sp) and what makes it seem profane, over your way?
[re=599419]Pat Pending[/re]: Shit, you don’t suppose he could be going fundie on us?!?! This is not the turning point I was hoping for. I will resume believing his “fightin’ Al Qaeda over there” and “pray away the oil” mentions were just tidbits of red meat for the real Amurkins. because i don’t want to drink myself into a coma tonight
[re=599403]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]:
Now I will defend the “Full English Breakfast” to the death here, if we’re gonna have a blog war let it be over the “Full English Breakfast” cause it sure as hell beats the crap out of anything that they serve in the US for a so called breakfast. I mean what the fuck are “grits” and don’t even get me started on “biscuits and gravy” WTF.
[re=599430]Litlebritdifrnt[/re]: My apologies. I am also aware of the use of white & black pudding on said plate. Some things are still mysteries to we colonials, ie., Blood Spotted Dick in a Toad Hole. I once lost 2 teeth in an English-style pub trying to eat something. Skittles, I believe they were called.
[re=599428]Limeylizzie[/re]: That IS breathtaking! WOW!
[re=599431]chascates[/re]:
No one in England says “gor blimey” anymore we all say what the fuck.
[re=599436]chascates[/re]:
Well my apologies for the teeth, but you know Skittles are an American invention, just sayin’
[re=599436]chascates[/re]:
Oh and you know until you can justify “chicken and pastry” then you got nothing.
[re=599431]chascates[/re]: It was orginally “God Blind Me” but some thought that was sacrilege so it changed to Gor Blimey.
Yes, Ken, I too heard Olbermann say “goddamned” on the teevee tonight. The thought of fundies and evangelicals self-righteous heads exploding made me smile, (if only there were fundies and evangelicals tuning in MSNBC.) Perhaps they’ll hear about it from someone they know who uses a computer.
Anyhoo, your clever use of (!) gave me a good chuckle, all things considered.
[re=599446]Limeylizzie[/re]:
Just an aside Lizzie where you is? I am from Lancashire originally, WRNS all over the place for 14 years until I ended up in NC, USA.
[re=599443]Litlebritdifrnt[/re]: Nay, good sir or madam, as the case may be. I was using humor to refer to:
Skittles is an old European lawn game, a variety of bowling, from which ten-pin bowling, duckpin bowling, and candlepin bowling in the United States, and five-pin bowling in Canada are descended. In the United Kingdom, the game remains a popular pub game in England and Wales, though it tends to be found in particular regions, not nationwide.
as in ‘it’s all beer & skittles.’ Very little humor it seems.
And God bless CAMRA and cider &I perry.
America’s greatness is the greatness of it’s people. I’m great .. you’re great .. we’re great, see what I’m saying?
Because the oil spill we see on TV looks very similar to Hedorah, the Tokyo monster that feeds on pollution, the best way to defeat this oil monster is to drop an nuclear bomb on the oil spill, which will create mutant lifeforms to attack the spill, like this: http://www.henshinonline.com/images/imax_godzilla_04.jpg
[re=599451]Litlebritdifrnt[/re]: I live in NYC and in Los Angeles, Mr Limeylizzie is in the motion piture biz and I am a stage actress so we split our time , and love, between 2 cities, originally from the Elephant and Castle but grew up mainly in Eastbourne.
[re=599437]999theAntiAntiChrist[/re]: Go on, have a go yourself.
[re=599455]DC Hates Me[/re]: But will not Gamera appear then?
[re=599456]Limeylizzie[/re]: Ah, Wilson, Keppel and Betty!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkhJpr2zR8s
thanks, everybody, i’m glad i watched a star trek rerun instead. it was the last and rarely seen episode, where scotty flips kirk off with his missing finger and says “i canna do shit fer you, captain,” while red-shirts are dropping like oiled seabirds, spock is pyramiding his fingers and muttering, “logically, this should not have happened,” kirk is bouncing around the bridge like daffy duck on bad crank and screaming about a core overload, and bones says, “we’re dead, jim.”
yall check it out sometime, i think you’ll “enjoy” it.
Ken: beautiful live blog!
You said, “We wouldn’t be tapping the inky depths of Gulf of Mexico if we could easily get oil elsewhere.”
It made me think: but BP was capping that well. They were going to leave it in the ground because it’s way cheaper to do that than to move the oil and store it. How many other oil deposits are they just sitting on? And besides, Occidental Petroleum and some other companies now have the rights to the 100,000,000 bbl Rumallah oil field in Iraq, plus whatever other oil is in the country.
There is plenty of oil. The oil companies are hoarding it, and dribbling it out slowly so as to keep prices up. That’s why we invaded Iraq. Not to sell the oil, but to sit on it.
Monopoly capitalism is said to be the “highest stage of capitalism.”
So let’s get high. Millions of Americans use this approach to the problem.
[re=599462]chascates[/re]: Now you know, my secret is out.
[re=599454]chascates[/re]:
Oops I guess my comedy meter was off a tad.
[re=599458]Limeylizzie[/re]:
____________________________________poop___________________
ok.. that’s enough for now… still a little gun shy…
Thanks Lizzie.
[re=599456]Limeylizzie[/re]:
Ha a moufy soufy! (kids) I am reminded of a line from that there musical of which “Tell me on a Sunday” was in “capped teeth and cesar salad, good old Beverly Hills” and my favorite line ever “and for an English Sausage I would absolutely die”
I remember that exact scene in GTA4. I recall that was a fucked up day for all involved.
[re=599462]chascates[/re]: Thanks. After watching that video, I now know why Rommel thought he could defeat the Eighth Army in North Africa.
[re=599432]druranium[/re]: I don’t think he’s gone fundie per se, but even worse he’s appealing to the morons. Again. Why bother? They’ll just claim he’s a muslin from Kenya and this is what you get if you got a nigger presnit. Always trust ugly fat rich white men who tell you that Jesus the Christ will save your souls. Fuck, man, I’m so depressed I can’t even drink.
Speech sucked baby sucked.
[re=599409]WeepingSilently[/re]:
And what did you want him to do? Really!
kippers. also.
[re=599435]Litlebritdifrnt[/re]: Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t know what the fuck is up with grits either. Isn’t that the same shit prisoners and sailors call gruel? Biscuits and gravy? It’s hard for me to get excited about some flour dumped in bacon grease. But at least we know what bacon is.
[re=599483]Country Club Jihadi[/re]: The WH spin machine will have to go into hurricane-hyper-drive tomorrow. Man, that was embarrassing. He’s Jimmy Carter without the steroids. He’s fucked and so are we.
[re=599486]Bz[/re]: For starters, he could have nixed the boilerplate talk of “commissions” and avoided the weepy, pray to godblessamerica nonsense talk at the end. I’ve seen fewer genuflections in an NFL end-zone after a touchdown.
[re=599459]chascates[/re]: Gamera is non-union. Allahuzilla Akbar; Godzilla is great.
“In a decade or so, will the Gulf Oil Spill be the thing people remember as the End of the Oil Era?”
Well, leave us hope so.
[re=599409]WeepingSilently[/re]: Fuck you.
[re=599464]slappypaddy[/re]: That was the exact scene on the Deepwater Horizon in the days before the explosion! Life does imitate art.
No admission his reckless policies caused the leak, no plans for a nuclear attack on the well, no call out for help from a real experts like Sarah and Todd Palin.
Very disappointing.
[re=599495]bitchincamaro[/re]: sadly, I have to agree. teh suck.
Not Obamas best night. imho
I read the transcript of the speech rather than watch it as I was at a local Dem meeting to nominate a candidate for a city mayor. Life is local! Anyway, I read Wonkette before reading the transcript and definitely thought it read much better than it apparently played. Even the religious stuff came across as okay. So, without snark, as I am snarked out and very tired of the demise of common sense, I would say with SuzyQ to WeepingSilently, “Fuck you,” as well, and additionally, “Try a pillow, it works fine for the silently part.” And to my Wonkette compadrelibtards – it really wasn’t bad. What the fuck else is he supposed to do/say/self-flagellate/immolate/, etc.?
Beware the Jabberwock!
No really creative ideas at all from Nobama!
What about:
– Every American Household adopts a Pelican
– Repair America’s potholes with Tar Balls
– Twitter for a Better Gulf: Every Twit an oil blob goes to heaven
– Smart Swap: Offer Palestinians the Gulf Coast in exchange for Gaza
– Pour massive amounts of hair into well: it works in sinks!
[re=599515]sati demise[/re]: America needs a diversion from this endless Gulf disaster, like a full scale war in Korea or an 8.4 earthquake in Los Angeles.
Oh my God. Now gubbmint scientists are estimating 2.52 million gallons a day.
It may have been an unimpressive speech, but that’s because he had some sucky stuff to get up and say — there’s really no rousing way to tell America that this horrible situation will be under control in a few weeks, we hope. Unfortunately there’s just not much to say at this point.
On the bright side, though, I hope he seriously redoubles the extent and urgency with which he’s reimposing regulatory authority on industry. I’m sure he buried that stuff in the middle for good reason, but this is a wake-up call to big business — the gravy train has stopped. Finally.
[re=599517]slithytoves[/re]: I read the transcript as well, but my overall reaction was that it was (at least in print) a pretty standard CEO-level ass-covering. I’ve seen quite a few of them in my work life, although the disasters were usually financial rather than physical. The basic elements of the CYA speech are:
1. We had the best of intentions, and were trying our best, but were confronted with an unforeseeable event.
2. We’re really, really upset about the unforeseeable event, and its effects on [fill in blanks].
3. We responded to the unforeseeable event as quickly and effectively as possible, but we realize that the response has so far been inadequate. We accept that the response failure is kind of our fault (but not really, because no one else could have done any better).
4. We will fix everything and it will be all better eventually. We will fix things so this (specific) unforeseeable event can never happen again.
5. Thank you. I’ll be here all week.
Some folks (hi, slithytoves) ask: “WTF else could he say?” I’d suggest that he could have addressed some of the more noticeable fuck-ups in the response. I understand that a political/electoral view (hello, Rahm Anonymous) might be that admitting to specific failures is a bad idea (since the Repos will undoubtedly beat such admissions to death), but I would submit that in a matter of such large significance, you might want to worry more about the reaction of your own partisans, who might be looking for something resembling honest evaluation.
Anyhow, lines I would have liked to see:
“There have been times when journalists have been denied access to places or people, despite the instructions of Adm Allen that such restriction should be made on legitimate grounds of safety or operational efficiency. I am saying now, as the President of the United States, speaking to everyone in the affected area, that access may only be restricted by Adm Allen and those in his chain of command.”
“It cannot have escaped the notice of anyone paying attention to this disaster that the estimate of the flow rate of the blowout gusher has risen by a factor of ten, from 5,000 barrels per day to around 50,000, even though the actual flow rate has not changed that much. I have asked the DOJ to begin an investigation to determine how the initial estimates from BP could have been so inaccurate.”
“The Commission which will recommend safeguards for future deep-water drilling will operate with the following rule as a minimum requirement: Whatever may be the absolute, last-resort corrective measure for a given potential hazard (e.g., for this blow-out, a relief well) will be required to be emplaced simultaneously with the deep-water project. No exceptions.”
“Ken Salazar has been rubbish in terms of cleaning out the regulatory capture in Interior. I have asked for his immediate resignation.”
Sorry for the rant. I’ve mentioned my snark impairment before.
[re=599520]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: How about the 7.4 mag quake we had down here about 2 hrs ago? We’re still waiting to here if Northern Oz will get another tsunami… it’s pretty bloody diverting to us, Mate!
[re=599464]slappypaddy[/re]: Then you weren’t watching that particular ‘lost’ Trek episode, were you? Here’s the promo clip (the one shown after midnight), to whet your appetite…
[re=599435]Litlebritdifrnt[/re]: Hear, hear! Eggs with Scottish salmon, grilled kidneys, real bacon, real oatmeal porridge thinned with a wee gill of whiskey, kippers! And, a tasty bit o’ crumpet right afterwards.
[re=599456]Limeylizzie[/re]: St. Bede’s or Moira House?
And what’s with Rowntree’s Yorkie bars, anyway, It’s not for girls?
[re=599435]Litlebritdifrnt[/re]: Ploughman’s lunch, or otherwise a deconstructed cheese sammich. And a pickle. And butter on the bread.
Quite sad, really. Seems like most of British cuisine stems from adversity and lack of proper comestibles.
It should be the meal fed to Tony Hayward and the BP BoDs, for the rest of their natural existence. In the stripey hole.
Sans pint, QED…
I was shocked, really. That was a major sucky speech.
Obama was just a hair’s breath away from sitting there wearing a sweater and talking about turning down the thermostat.
Needs moar ass-kicking. And specifics. Also.
[re=599561]schvitzatura[/re]: Oh Dear Lord, those are the posh schools Darling, I went to Eastbourne High School for Girls-the state school. We used to play Moira House at hockey and beat the snot out of them. And how do you know of these Eastbourne institutions??
[re=599538]Enslave the Whales[/re]: Well done. Some issues are beyond the snark.
[re=599462]chascates[/re]: one of multiculturalism’s finest moments, done as only the brits could do it. we owe them so much.
[re=599548]Bearbloke[/re]: no, i wasn’t, but you have brightened my morning with this shared sacrilege, thank you. is that the episode also sometimes known as “twin sons of different mothers”?
There’s two things I took away from last last night, (or “unpacked” as the douchebag David Gregory says).
1. The Democrats are spineless and the Senate is being held hostage by a minority of Republicans. Obama is afraid to introduce new legislation because they don’t have 60 votes. Since when is 60 votes out of 100 necessary to be a majority? Grow. A. Pair. Ram it down their throats, no time like the present.
2. I’m an atheist living on the Gulf Coast. Obama’s solution? I should pray. No comfort there for me; we’ve had Jebus in the WH for 8 long years. No thanks.
British people eat marmite. The obvious solution will be to convert the plumes of oil to vast stores of marmite/vegamite substitute and have British people cold go to town eatin’ it. I am also disappointed Obama did not invoke the word “buttjuice” nor did he propose donning one of those old deep sea diving outfits with huge metal shoes and a giant metal bubble helmet in order to personally get down tonthe ocean floor and kill the fucking leak with his cock.
Clearly America and the Right will only be satisfied when Obama plunges into the Gulf and sacrifices himself into the underground oil volcano in an explosion of unicorns, rainbows, and free health care that will ultimately seal the hole.
The dark thunderclouds above will part and a ray of sunshine will burst through, giving everybody hope that tomorrow shall bring better days.
Roll credits.
I only heard the first 5 minutes where he was talking about “scientists” and “experts” and stuff. Fuck that shit. Send in Rambo with scuba gear!
It will be ironic if deepwater drilling is what brings down this administration so we can all enjoy the fruits of our labor under President Drill Baby.
[re=599528]SayItWithWookies[/re]: If you love the President so much why don’t you just ask him to plug your leaking goo-hole?
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