Rep. Steve King of Iowa discussed the Arizona That-Man-Is-Eating-Salsa-He-Looks-Suspicious Law on yesterday’s G. Gordon Liddy Show, which of course is something that exists (and is part of an all-Watergate programming block, sandwiched between the Ghost of Nixon Show and Human Resources With H.R. Bob Haldeman. Steve King gave his fans the Tea Party version of “Free Bird,” saying, “the president has demonstrated he’s got a default mechanism in him that breaks down the side of race — on the side that favors the black person.”
King hasn’t explained where this mechanism is located on Obama’s body or how it works, but as any Teabagger with a dental degree can tell you, this sort of thing is generally located behind the ear and has a slot that accepts (Kenyan) quarters.
Steve King hasn’t gotten close enough to Obama’s ear to test the mechanism himself, but the evidence here is obvious. There was that one time Obama invited that Harvard professor and cop to the White House backyard, King notes. And what happened? Obama’s elitist heart would have told him to side with the academic, but before that could happen, SOMEBODY TRIGGERED THE RACE MECHANISM. And so Obama sided with black person.
And you don’t need more examples because that is basically Obama’s only job as president, tending bar while two dudes have an awkward conversation a hundred feet away from a thousand news cameras. But if you need one more, just look at this whole BP thing. Did Obama blame it on Moorish Petroleum? Nope. He let them off and blamed it on the white company instead.
King also gets mad at black person Eric Holder. “It looks like Eric Holder said that white people in America are cowards when it comes to race,” King said. Media Matters tries to say King is misquoting Holder here, but look at the Holder quote yourself:
“Though this nation has proudly thought of itself as an ethnic melting pot, in things racial we have always been and continue to be, in too many ways, essentially a nation of cowards. Though race related issues continue to occupy a significant portion of our political discussion, and though there remain many unresolved racial issues in this nation, we, average Americans, simply do not talk enough with each other about race.”
The key word here is “average Americans.” What is the average skin tone of an American? The light tan of an Iowa farmer in early June. The average American is white, Mr. Holder, and you misspoke by including yourself in the words “average” and “American.”
And so average American hero Steve King marches on, fighting the unfairness of minorities and all socialism that isn’t corn socialism. [Political Correction]
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{ 37 comments }
Hey Stevie, Kanye West would like his shtick back.
The King of Comedy.
All this unfairness is all so unfair. Also.
Steve. What you better worry about is that his schlong is twice as big as yours. And it still gets hard.
Idiot, the racism is supposed to be silent, like the “p” in “ptarmigan.”
Which black person?
I’m a fan of Richard Nixon’s head in a jar.
i remember the day barry demonstrated his default mechanisms. we were all quite impressed. but i don’t remember him demonstrating the one that iowa fellow was telling that convicted felon about. could have been i blinked.
“…If I leave here tomorrow
Would you still remember me?
For I must be traveling on, now
‘Cause there’s too many places
I’ve got to see
But, if I stayed here with you, girl
Things just couldn’t be the same
‘Cause I’m as free as a bird now
And this bird, you’ll cannot change!”
America has matured in greatly in topics of race. What once was “darkie hates white man” is now “he has a default mechanism favoring black people”. We have overcome.
My curse: may he always wear a white shirt on spaghetti night.
I didn’t want to do it, because it’s so easy and obvious, but went any to Rep King’s biography on his web site and learned the following:
“He has long been dedicated to adding value as close to the corn stalk and bean stubble as possible, as many times as possible.”
Who is more familiar with the black experience than a guy from Iowa?
Maybe King can start a reparations movement for angry white people to compensate for their 2 plus years of mental anguish of knowing that George Bush wasn’t president anymore.
Steven King, what the fuck?
Boy, it sure is funny that all those non-racist white people have a “mechanism” by which, whenever there the person being discussed is a member of a minority group, anything they do or might do automatically has racial motives imputed onto them?
You know, so it was “racist” when Sotomayor decided a case in a manner consistent with the law, and Obama clearly hates the white people and the white culture, because well who really needs evidence actually, but because White actually isn’t a race, but rather the absence of race, nothing a white person says or does is ever racist, and it’s LITERALLY the worst thing you can do to a (white) person to suggest that they might be? Even if they were the sole vote in congress against recognizing slaves?
Some of us are cowards when it comes to race. Others, however, like Steve King, aren’t nearly cowardly enough.
[re=598957]mumblyjoe[/re]: Wow, I just realized that that wasn’t a humor observation so much as a very angry (read: Racist, because I’m just shy of half-white, and pretty dusky, also) one. Fancy that.
Liddy still around? I figured he was back to sucking Nixon’s dick again, in Hell. Come to think of it, spending any time with this King fellow has to qualify as some kind of Hell; would be for me. ..Neither of them have the slightest clue what total douchebags they are-amazing!
bahahaha….snort. Tea partys version of free bird. You made me shoot milk out my nostrils.
The Free Bird line made me LOL. Nice work.
In this latest round of Spot The Logical Fallacy, the premise ignores the fact that Obama’s soul is about as black as a Coffee-Mate truck crashing into a dairy.
James Carville is blacker than Obama.
[re=598962]SayItWithWookies[/re]: byootiful.
Simple logic: Whenever a repubtard complains about someone other than themselves, they are, in fact, guilty of whatever they are blaming the accused of + the most assholey version. Ergo, Steve King’s default mechanism is White preference + White supremacy/death to Black people through slow torture.
[re=598913]Ducksworthy[/re]: and the schlong is longerer, too. Breadth and depth I’m sure. (But Barry probably can’t beat Cheney in a pissing contest because Cheney’s the devil and, well, we must give the devil his due.) http://wonkette.com/25650/big-dick-cheney-oh-yes-very-big
This is just the premise for his new novel, his creepiest yet.
“…this sort of thing is generally located behind the ear and has a slot that accepts (Kenyan) quarters.”
What you mean by (Kenyan) quarters, of course, is cowrie shells and ox testicles; because Obama is clearly a savage with no respect for American-Amero munnies.
Besides, if the Kenyans actually had quarters, don’t you think we would’ve done gone over there and warred for them shits by now?
[re=598939]Tommmcatt[/re]: I see what you did there!
[re=598947]V572625694[/re]: You need to shave more frequently, if you have that much corn stalk and bean stubble going on.
“When you look at this administration, I’m offended by Eric Holder and the President also, their posture.”
Remember when they bowed and scraped and knew their place??
Gee, all this time I thought Steve King was named after Martin Luther King Jr. Silly me.
I still remember Liddy’s “jokes” about firing at cardboard cutouts of Bill and Hillary back in the 90s. G. Gordon Liddy: making veiled threats to the President’s life before it was cool.
As for King, I’m just shocked he’s managed to avoid calling Obama or Holder “uppity” so far, since that’s been behind nearly every thing he’s said about them.
Yes, Steve, of course. Those damn black men are well known for their penchant to deal generously with multi-national corporations and Wall Street.
My default tends to be with the guy just trying to get in to his own damn house.
Kiron, Iowa is truly The Land That Time Forgot.
[re=598950]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: Win!!!1
Wow. The racists must really be having fun. They don’t even have to pretend anymore.
“the president has demonstrated he’s got a default mechanism in him that breaks down the side of race — on the side that favors the black person.”
It’s called living in a glass house Steve King. As they say, it takes one to know one.
Well, in fairness, the United States of America used to have a “default mechanism” that broke down the side of race on the side favoring whites: the Constitution.
Rep King’s default mechanism is to type long unintelligible letters to Fox News in all-caps Comic Sans 14 pt font when confronted with potential instances of social injustice.
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