• Thank Jew, Mr. President.Legendary White House Crone Helen Thomas got herself pushed into retirement finally, at age 89, over a bizarre outburst into a rabbi’s video camera about how the Israeli Jews need to go “back [to] Poland, Germany,” etc. Was it the White House press corps’ fault for letting the increasingly shrill lady keep yelling her Democratic Underground sermons at whatever WH spokesperson? Maybe! Howard Kurtz, who spins tales of media lore of the past each Monday in his Washington Post column, today investigates (types his feelings about) the Helen Thomas Scandal. Did you know she has been Very Very Old for at least a decade now, and that nobody read her Hearst column, and nobody read her UPI column in the previous century, and she was “never known for great writing or breaking stories,” and that she was/is an Arab of some kind? Okay, that last part isn’t spelled out in Kurtz’s column, but it pretty much is, anyway — because the prankster rabbi who finally kicked Helen down the Backstairs at the White House says people have e-mailed him some super mean anti-Jewish things, such as “Dirty Jew” (which nobody has said since the Nixon Administration?), because of this video-rabbi causing Helen Thomas being forced into retirement at age 89. One Helen Thomas fan even misspelled Hitler’s name, which is typical. [Washington Post]
  • A foosball tournament between the United States and England was a draw, which luckily was not used in any way as a metaphor for the Washington-BP bitch fight over the Gulf of Mexico oil spill. [Fox News/CBS News]
  • Japanese scientists are comically scrambling through the Australian Outback in search of their mysterious space capsule that just plunged back to Earth after visiting an asteroid. Will the Japanese scientists reach the probe before the Aboriginal Tribespeople inside the Woomera military zone? Yes, it turns out, because the scientists just recovered the spacecraft today. But this would’ve made a very intriguing science-fiction BBC comedy series a la Kangaroo Jack, we bet. [SMH/AP]
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  1. I watched some Real Americans being interviewed ,in that oh so popular “Drunk Man on the Street” technique, after the football match and I hadn’t realised how much I am now hated and despised by a majority of the populace..thanks BP, I used to be very popular , due to my charming English accent and big tits.

  2. [re=597810]Limeylizzie[/re]: But I just read that only *Nobama* hates the Limey Peoples, and that’s just because he’s a pro-independence Kenyan Maoist who hates the British Empire’s traditions.

  3. Is a draw like drawn? And if so, since the overwhelming favored Brits merely got a draw in the match with the Ubeks USA, does this mean the will be getting the rest of Eddie Longshanks hospitality, the hanging and quartering part, when they return to merry olde England?

  4. Stupid tribesmen in Afghanistan who look at birds and weather for omens are laughed at by clever Americans, who look at the results of a soccer game to forestall attempting to do something about the worst man-made petroleum pollution in history.

    It’s so nice that they get their metaphors. That way they can be done and not have to think about it anymore.

  5. [re=597817]Ken Layne[/re]: BBC World Service had a maroon from Mississipppi (the extra ‘p’ is for the extra piss) who was explaining that they hate Obama because he went to Louisiana, not Mississippi. He also said that Obama still hadn’t come there, to where Katrina really hit, and therefore they all hated him, and nothing he did would ever change that.

    It was dazzling logic from Hailey Barbour’s ticks.

  6. [re=597812]ella[/re]: He was also in the habit of referring to “those Jew-boys at the SEC” (one of whom once wished me “a happy Easter, to the extent appropriate.”)

  7. [re=597810]Limeylizzie[/re]: I’m sure you are still very well liked by at least half of the American public. A little oil would probably make you more so…

  8. [re=597810]Limeylizzie[/re]: Gah, I had been getting annoyed at reports of some of the UK press acting like Americans are all pissed at all British people over the spill, when no, I thought, we were just pissed at one small group of British people, the BP executives actually responsible. But then, the real ignorant Americans come along to prove them right; I somehow forgot the tendency of a lot of bigoted morons here to blame entire countries and/or ethnicities for the actions of a few.

  9. [re=597817]Ken Layne[/re]: To be fair, I am with Hopey on this as I loathe the aristocracy and the Upper Middle Class of my people, as I am less a “Your hair looks glorious in the moonlight, Lady Gwendolyn’ kind of girl and more a “Come here, Wiggins and pull off my boots and then you will take my aristocratic member in your peasant mouth and service me”

  10. [re=597810]Limeylizzie[/re]: That’s our initiation over here, a gauntlet of hatred. Now that you’re an honorary Merkin, welcome to the club. All we ask is that you bulk up and dumb down.

  11. Howie Kurtz credits GAWKER! with starting boobgate. Wonkette’s proudest achievement credited to its former corporate overlords who recently kidnapped, seduced and/or otherwise inveigled Deputy Leader Newell to dessert to them.

    One question: Is this still a war blog?

  12. [re=597830]pirate king of the Jews[/re]: [re=597830]pirate king of the Jews[/re]: [re=597815]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Thanks chaps.

  13. [re=597842]2goats[/re]:

    I thought Wonkette’s proudest achievement was either Washingtonienne OR having fun with the GOP public comments portal.

  14. [re=597810]Limeylizzie[/re]: I tried to be reasonable in my response to that Daily Mail article about $arah visiting Maggie. I offered to not judge Brits by Tony Hayward if they wouldn’t judge us by $arah. I’ve gotten a minus 90 rating. Not a very reasonable bunch over there, I can see why you left.

  15. [re=597836]Limeylizzie[/re]: These are *sports* fans. They’ll latch onto anything that lets them hate the other guy. Professional sports is war by other means.

  16. “Was it the White House press corps’ fault for letting the increasingly shrill lady keep yelling her Democratic Underground sermons at whatever WH spokesperson?”

    Though ironically, DU has a pretty strict policy about “anti-semitic” comments and linking to “anti-semitic” sites. I have seen people banned there for crossing the line on criticizing Jews/Israel.

  17. [re=597810]Limeylizzie[/re]: Worry not m’lass. We think of you here as our own Emma Peel, only sporting a D-cup. Except the the younger ones here, they think more of an Emma Watson (with D-cup). The more literary ones here think of you as Jane Austen’s Emma (ditto D-cup.)

    So any way, no hate from these here ‘muricans.

  18. [re=597873]Long Form Def Certificate[/re]:

    Oh, true! Washingtonienne brought down an intern and a chief of staff. Mark Foley was a member of Congress. That trumps.

    Still, the GOP website hijinx have been fun.

  19. I think Wonkette’s most meaningful achievement is providing a place for all the un-Americans speaking out.

    Oh, and fucking with Bachmann’s birthday card was fun, also.

  20. [re=597810]Limeylizzie[/re]: I can’t understand a word you say, but I do understand big tits. Welcome back to the “special relationship”.

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