AMERICA 2010  2:13 am June 13, 2010

All of America Captured In Single Photograph

by Ken Layne

'I'm afraid of Americans.'
Wonkette operative “Lily E.” was just driving around the outskirts of Madison, Virginia, this weekend when she was compelled to snap this picture of America 2010. It’s all there, everything. Everything.

 
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{ 150 comments }

gurukalehuru June 13, 2010 at 2:40 am

You’d think that fast food places would know by now better than to name a burger the Angus Burger, due to vandalism. Unless, of course, they’re inviting it. In which case, might I suggest the Fugck Burger.

gurukalehuru June 13, 2010 at 2:42 am

btw, Ken,not bad for the wee hours of a Sunday morning. We appreciate it.

usernameguy June 13, 2010 at 2:48 am

This makes me weep in many forms.

ez June 13, 2010 at 2:50 am

Anus Burger?

Thank God the ingedients in the ‘secret sauce’ are indeed, secret.

druranium June 13, 2010 at 2:52 am

It’s so beautiful it makes me weep! it’s Saturday night guru, your timezone sucks.

RoscoePColtraine June 13, 2010 at 3:04 am

Anus Burgers are known simply as sliders to those residing in the Midwestern region.

Denverite June 13, 2010 at 3:09 am

I hate poor grammar too. “AN” anus burger!

13ollocks To The Rules June 13, 2010 at 3:37 am

The Anus Burger – an anus stuck between two buns…seems a little redundant – after all, where else would the anus be?
“I’d like my anus well done, please” “Certainly – let me call Father Mahoney….”
An Anus Bugger?

Lionel Hutz Esq. June 13, 2010 at 3:39 am

Obviously Photoshopped. Where can you get a well oiled Anus Burger for $2.49/gal now days?

13ollocks To The Rules June 13, 2010 at 3:39 am

The Anus Burger – the only way to get more grease on your buns is to sit on a Louisiana beach…

Okie Dokie Dog June 13, 2010 at 3:41 am

So that’s why those freedom fries are so tasty! Fried in BP oil.

Slattenpat June 13, 2010 at 3:56 am

[re=597598]gurukalehuru[/re]: They should have asked Black Angus about all the “G’s” that have been shot out or stolen from their signs… Uh, duh?!?

(Also, I think this is how the Hamburgler became the Turdburgler.)

Capitol Hillbilly June 13, 2010 at 4:06 am

As long as I can leave my engine running who cares what part of the cow it is?

zhubajie June 13, 2010 at 4:23 am

[re=597603]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: White Castles?

bago June 13, 2010 at 4:53 am

‘sup g?

Jukesgrrl June 13, 2010 at 6:50 am

Gas is only 2.50 in Virginia??!!1? Let’s go!

schvitzatura June 13, 2010 at 6:51 am

The Pig-N-Steak Restaurant and H&R Block thank you for your patronage, too. Nothing says ‘Murica like BBQed swine parts and a completed Form 1040, U.S. Individual Income Tax Return form.

finallyhappy June 13, 2010 at 7:54 am

Really, what did you think McDonald’s uses for their burgers- filet mignon? TRUTH in advertising!

Monsieur Grumpe June 13, 2010 at 7:58 am

Ass or gas.

Geogre June 13, 2010 at 8:15 am

[re=597608]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: It isn’t a well oiled anus burger: It’s an anus burger with gas.

It’s tempting to see our vandal as accidentally speaking to BP, but so far commentors are skipping over that due to frequent beatings and whippings and are instead just thinking “one bad, two bad, hrair bad things.”

I do like the idea, though, that McD is telling BP to have an anus burger, but I think their current burgermeister, Tony Hayward, is already an anus.

Sgt. Lincoln Osiris June 13, 2010 at 8:15 am

My favorite part are the two fatties waddling towards sodium paradise to try a anus burger.

DC Hates Me June 13, 2010 at 8:34 am

Fat little kids in Virginia? Sorry, not buying it.

Terry June 13, 2010 at 8:34 am

AN anus burger. AN anus burger.

Dolmance June 13, 2010 at 8:38 am

Whoa, the anus burgers are delish! And so easy!!!

Dolmance June 13, 2010 at 8:39 am

was Stewart Anderson gay?

getoffmylawn June 13, 2010 at 8:43 am

And that shall be the picture with our epitaph in future history books. Wait…those are being rewritten (thanks, Texas). Dang.

Carrabuda June 13, 2010 at 8:57 am

[re=597624]Geogre[/re]: Hrair! Thank you for the trip back to my adolescence. Awesome.

JackDempsey June 13, 2010 at 9:22 am

Hilarity is just a missing g away at all times.

Tim June 13, 2010 at 9:32 am

13ollocks To The Rules: Are you Fred Thompson;s ghost writer? Statements like that get me more tickled than a poked pig in the county crapper! I hope you don’t mind repeating this line at the nearest opportunity …

ManchuCandidate June 13, 2010 at 9:32 am

[re=597604]Denverite[/re]:
It was “A” to begin with. Yay US Amuricah Edumakashun system!!!

the problem child June 13, 2010 at 9:35 am

Complete the dang fence!

nappyduggs June 13, 2010 at 9:39 am

Nice capture, “Lily E.” But we know you took this right before you pulled into the drive and ordered a “McGangBang.” (I don’t do html thingies, so Google it, for fun.)

And re: Those poor fatties rolling towards their doom:

Finish the dang fence!

the problem child June 13, 2010 at 9:39 am

And why does Madison, VA not have sidewalks? Is it to force the oily birds down the throats of US Merkins?

Redhead June 13, 2010 at 9:47 am

I took a picture last year of a Hardees sign (in a rural area) that was advertising a “hickburger.”

El Pinche June 13, 2010 at 10:01 am

oooooooooh! This is so beautiful.

WadISay June 13, 2010 at 10:02 am

With the missing “G”, they could have spelled “ANUS BUGGER.” Vandalism fail.

Jim89048 June 13, 2010 at 10:05 am

Where’s the Winston ad?

TGY June 13, 2010 at 10:15 am

The sauce has a high pucker factor.

friendlyskies June 13, 2010 at 10:19 am

A anus burger everyday! Scroll down to image #3 for the fabulous BP goatse:

http://www.heavy.com/comedy/2010/06/the-20-awesomest-anti-bp-images/2/

Rotundo June 13, 2010 at 10:39 am

Needs a beer billboard in the background and a church nearby. As for Anus Burgers, it’s a sure bet if you have ever consumed ground meat of any variety, sphincter has been a component. Happy Dining!

weejee June 13, 2010 at 10:54 am

Perfect, Burma Shave 2010.

proudgrampa June 13, 2010 at 10:55 am

Yep. That sez it all. We are so freakin’ doomed.

Gay as Hell June 13, 2010 at 10:57 am

From the Anagramistic Vandal…

- Grungy Rat Abuser
- Gray Tuna Burgers
- Angry Uterus Grab
- Runty Burger Saga
- Natures Gray Grub
- Bugger Run Astray

Servo June 13, 2010 at 10:58 am

The meat is also sprinkled with sesame seeds, at least the ones that couldn’t be wiped off.

Fly Over Girl June 13, 2010 at 11:00 am

Damn gayz and their progressive thinking. Where’s the drive through cock in a box for the rest of us?

Diana Davies June 13, 2010 at 11:06 am

Cool, a place to fill two voids in one stop. I can go and fill up my gigantic Cadillac Escalade and my hollow stomach at the same time. Now, do they have any men there?

Servo June 13, 2010 at 11:27 am

Bummer the vandals couldn’t change the bp to dp.

DoktorZoom June 13, 2010 at 11:34 am

[re=597624]Geogre[/re]: Tony Hayward is indeed full of hraka.

V572625694 June 13, 2010 at 11:39 am

[re=597641]Jim89048[/re]: You mean Marlboro, don’t ya?

[re=597655]Diana Davies[/re]: Oh yes many men at McDonalds, with their snuff pouches on their belts and their wallets also chained thereto, and their swollen panniculi hanging over their big-buckled belts. They’re the ones idling their 450-hp Diesel pickups towing bass boats in the drive-through — gotta save gas, ya know! Once in a while they go inside to use to bathroom, so that’d be your opportunity.

Sharkey June 13, 2010 at 11:49 am

[re=597622]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Grass. Lots of high quality, organic grass.

Mad Brahms June 13, 2010 at 11:59 am

[re=597651]Gay as Hell[/re]: Wasn’t “Angry Uterus Grab” a Huggy Bear album?
[re=597652]Servo[/re]: Thank you for ruining my morning bagel.

Jim89048 June 13, 2010 at 12:03 pm

[re=597660]V572625694[/re]: When I smoked, I always thought filters were dumb. Camels or GTFO. I think Winston has a spot in real US America’s heart because they sponsored NASCAR for so many years.

weejee June 13, 2010 at 12:13 pm

Is the ‘Anus Burger’ a teatard favorite and their two sized too small briefs? Does it come slathered with Preparation H, for the oldes, and garnished with lightly salted poisoned rat dicks, just because.

V572625694 June 13, 2010 at 12:14 pm

[re=597665]Jim89048[/re]: You sir are, to the extent one can tell on the Internet, a real man. As was I in my Chesterfield days, cough cough. Twentyo-one great tobaccos make twenty wonderful smokes! Thank goodness NASCAR has found its true home/sponsor/demographic/cultural match, on Fox.

DC Hates Me June 13, 2010 at 12:22 pm

[re=597637]the problem child[/re]: “And why does Madison, VA not have sidewalks?”

Many suburban sprawl zones (not really called towns or cities) don’t have sidewalks. Everyone has cars and they stopped walking in order to gain weight. And because the only people who do walk are lowly mexicans (who mow all the pretty grass) and jogger types. Speaking of which, if jogging is healthy, dodging cars is healthier, so, fuck having sidewalks.

Jim89048 June 13, 2010 at 12:24 pm

[re=597667]V572625694[/re]: Today, and possibly today only, Fox wins the time zone-dependent morning/afternoon by broadcasting Formula 1 instead.

S.Luggo June 13, 2010 at 12:34 pm

Hey, Madison. It’s “AN Anus Burger.” What assholes.

[re=597601]ez[/re]: Hate to tell yah, but the secret is in the Santorum.

Poochie June 13, 2010 at 1:08 pm

On my desktop background pronto. Office gawkers rejoice.

V572625694 June 13, 2010 at 1:12 pm

[re=597668]DC Hates Me[/re]: The following industries thank America’s sprawl zone (great term!) “governments” for discouraging non-motorized travel:

* Big Pharma: Plavix, Lipitor, etc
* Big Med (a division of Big Pharma): bypass surgeries, heart transplants, stents, etc
* Big Oil: as if it were necessary to explain
* Big Homebuilding: each new sprawl zone must be farther out than the last, where land is cheaper
* Big (i.e. fat) white people: for leaving non-white-America’s children behind in crumbling schools.

Joshua Norton June 13, 2010 at 1:37 pm

That explains the skid marks on the buns.

Ewwwww.

Needs moar chitlins.

Joshua Norton June 13, 2010 at 1:46 pm

[re=597674]Joshua Norton[/re]: And maybe a little musturd.

BlueStateLiberal June 13, 2010 at 2:05 pm

[re=597673]V572625694[/re]: Also include the following for when the occasional person realizes they’re too fat:
*Jenny Craig company
*C celebrities in Jenny Craig ads
*Acacia Internet diet-pill company

thesheriffisnear June 13, 2010 at 2:11 pm

Keep fuckin’ that Chicken, McNugget.

SmutBoffin June 13, 2010 at 2:16 pm

“Do you know what they call an anus burger in France? ‘Le boeuf dunette-trou’.”

Snarkalicious June 13, 2010 at 2:26 pm

Whait tresh. Back and to the left. Back and to the left.

rmjag June 13, 2010 at 2:28 pm

[re=597601]ez[/re]: keep the anus burgers in the bedroom where they belong ………….

RoscoePColtraine June 13, 2010 at 2:30 pm

This is what the troops are fighting for. Cheap gas and anus burgers. Hooray!

SayItWithWookies June 13, 2010 at 2:37 pm

[re=597680]SmutBoffin[/re]: What a coincidence — Beef Asshole is my nickname for Rush Limbaugh.

El Pinche June 13, 2010 at 2:37 pm

For you Amurka and Lily E, for capturin the essence of our Republic:

http://blingee.com/blingee/get_code/112814098?image=639154144

facehead June 13, 2010 at 2:45 pm

The composition of the photo is sublime. The two beloved companies, situated tightly in the foreground, reflect the deep inner paradox of being the former British colony that is America. For we all need the anus burger, do we not? But how must America arrive at the local anus burger dispensary? Human flight? Nay, by auto vehicular transportation, reifying our desire for foreign oil. Yet, how may we get this supposed ‘oil’? The American must betray their Deity-given right to drive-thru everything—by walking, as are the two hopeless slobs in the background, searching eternally for a way not to walk, right next to H&R Block, which assuredly has repossessed their home and children.

Lily E. is the greatest artist of our generation.

Joshua Norton June 13, 2010 at 2:46 pm

Actually, it is nice to know they’re using a better grade of beef in thier burgers.

SmutBoffin June 13, 2010 at 2:55 pm

[re=597685]El Pinche[/re]: “…o’er the land of thaaaaa free…and the home…of thaaaa…BRAVE!!!!!!”

(sniffsniffwipetear)

ktward June 13, 2010 at 3:25 pm

Madison, Virginia.
Proud home of Real Americans?

Mr Blifil June 13, 2010 at 3:43 pm

I would gladly eat a anus burger if it meant I could buy gas for as cheap as $2.49 per gallon.

biggiantannoyingthing June 13, 2010 at 3:56 pm

[re=597680]SmutBoffin[/re]: Win

V572625694 June 13, 2010 at 4:02 pm

[re=597693]Mr Blifil[/re]: It’s not far from that offer to, “I’ll send poor people’s children off to die in Iraq for cheap gas.”

Simba B June 13, 2010 at 4:16 pm

[re=597679]thesheriffisnear[/re]: Getting OT here, but that whole thing never made sense to me, but Encyclopedia Dramatica (no link to spyware-infested site) finally made it make sense to me:

The quote was an obvious rip-off of [chicken] producer Frank Perdue’s original catchphrase, “It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken”, which went badly wrong when Anastos tried to use it. The original Perdue campaign also generated unintentional lulz when the [Spanish] translation of their catchphrase ended up telling people, “It takes a hard man to get your ‘chicken’ aroused” (“polla” meaning ‘dick’ in Spanish). It’s pretty obvious that Anastos meant this version.

Ken Layne June 13, 2010 at 4:23 pm

[re=597686]facehead[/re]: Lily E. is the greatest artist of our generation.

So true. I saw this picture in the tips email and immediately thought, “This is our era’s Andy Warhol making silkscreens of Chairman Mao.”

coolcatdaddy June 13, 2010 at 4:26 pm

Needs MOAR WALMART!

Jukesgrrl June 13, 2010 at 4:28 pm

[re=597622]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: [re=597640]WadISay[/re]: [re=597685]El Pinche[/re]: It would be my three-way tie, but El P. gets an extra point for the hard work and the tear.

rastignac June 13, 2010 at 4:31 pm

[re=597601]ez[/re]: “Thank God the ingredients in the ’secret sauce’ are indeed, secret.”

The secret sauce has to be santorum.

RoscoePColtraine June 13, 2010 at 4:31 pm

French fries are merely a more delicious form of salad. Ketchup, low fat dressing.

Jim89048 June 13, 2010 at 4:40 pm

[re=597673]V572625694[/re]: The meek shall inherit the girth.

Rotundo June 13, 2010 at 4:44 pm

So this must be the asshole “theme weekend” @Wonkette: First up with Bush then Caribou Barbie, and now BP and Anus Burgers. I’m liking it, kinda like a party on the internets. Keep up the good work editors!

sezme June 13, 2010 at 4:49 pm

Another example of McDonalds furthering the Gey agenda by promoting analingus to God Fearing Middle Americans (like George Reckers).

SayItWithWookies June 13, 2010 at 4:55 pm

Hey, here’s the most interesting quote I’ve seen today: “Obviously, the health care reform bill was highly debated by a lot of people and I guess, I’m glad that, you know, a bill was passed.”

Any guesses on who it was who said it?

sati demise June 13, 2010 at 5:30 pm

the only thing that would make this sign complete would be to relocate it to Las Vegas.

El Pinche June 13, 2010 at 5:38 pm

[re=597702]Ken Layne[/re]: It ain’t easy. Some bitter old man yelled at me in Home Depot parking lot for taking a picture of his wingnut version of the Pussy Wagon pickup (“Don’t Tread on Me” snake flag on the entire tail gate, etc). Forget AR-15s, I was nearly bored to death with his commie conspiracy soliloquy. Lily E is a hero in my book.

zhubajie June 13, 2010 at 5:42 pm

So BP’s logo is a green-yellow ass-h*le?

sati demise June 13, 2010 at 5:45 pm

[re=597686]facehead[/re]: critique win +1

slappypaddy June 13, 2010 at 5:46 pm

it’s good to see that in america we have learned the lessons of frugality and are letting nothing go to waste.

(what a foto! i weep with joy.)

zhubajie June 13, 2010 at 5:46 pm

[re=597628]Dolmance[/re]: Buy 10, get a free r*m job?

zhubajie June 13, 2010 at 5:59 pm

[re=597653]Fly Over Girl[/re]: I once saw a chicken restaurant in China which had stolen the Quaker Oats man for their sign. Next to his sick grin was the name: Mr Cock.

Zhu Bajie

Simba B June 13, 2010 at 6:02 pm

So is that where BP gets it’s drilling mud?

rocktonsammy June 13, 2010 at 6:03 pm

its suppose to try “an” anus burger.

249.9 for gas.

USA USA

zhubajie June 13, 2010 at 6:06 pm

[re=597680]SmutBoffin[/re]: What do they call the anus-burger with sausage?

zhubajie June 13, 2010 at 6:09 pm

[re=597665]Jim89048[/re]: No roll-your-own?

V572625694 June 13, 2010 at 6:19 pm

[re=597711]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Here’s a hint: when you see the accompanying picture of the speaker, you’ll say, “I’d hit that.”

Jim89048 June 13, 2010 at 6:40 pm

[re=597726]zhubajie[/re]: Bugler, when I was poor. Or at least poorer than normal.

But who didn’t?

m_supercomputer June 13, 2010 at 6:50 pm

[re=597618]Jukesgrrl[/re]: I went to college down there, and trust me, you don’t want that. Madison, VA is within a few miles of Lynchburg, Jerry Falwell’s home base. It’s a weird scene.

samsuncle June 13, 2010 at 6:52 pm

The anus burger value meal comes with a tossed salad.

Escape Goat Nation June 13, 2010 at 6:52 pm

Anus Burgers must be a Southern regional thing. I don’t think my city has them.

NYNYNY June 13, 2010 at 7:01 pm

In the spirit of open thread:

Oklahoma Rep. Rex Duncan has proposed a ballot measure to make sure that liberal judges in his state do not follow international or Sharia law-
That’s why I never want to go to Oklahoma again, it’s overrun with liberals and moslems and it’s a bitter windswept cultureless shithole.

Oh, wait…strike that part about liberals and moslems.

Servo June 13, 2010 at 7:12 pm

[re=597725]zhubajie[/re]:
The Colon Pounder with cheese.

Jim89048 June 13, 2010 at 7:44 pm

Where is Beef Supreme when we need him?

imissopus June 13, 2010 at 7:47 pm

[re=597711]SayItWithWookies[/re]: My first thought when I clicked the link was “Wow, Barbara Bush is so hot.” Then I scrolled down and thought “Wow, Barbara Bush looks like Michelle Bachman.” I’d still hit it, though.

kudzu June 13, 2010 at 8:01 pm

A postcard from a slice of America. You see? It’s not the whole thing but it’s definitely there. There’s a bit of a stereotype in all of us. Now, let’s see who can put a hot dog behind that anus burger.

sati demise June 13, 2010 at 8:02 pm

[re=597715]zhubajie[/re]: you deciphered the logo correctly. Rorschach win!

predilectrix June 13, 2010 at 8:10 pm

[re=597730]samsuncle[/re]: That one was hidden in plain sight since Ken posted. Thanks for spotlighting it as if through an anally angled picture window.

predilectrix June 13, 2010 at 8:14 pm

[re=597608]Lionel Hutz Esq.[/re]: No, for 249 quid/9s they can be had; known in cockney slang and by Rich Lowry as anal starbursts.

ShiningMathPath June 13, 2010 at 8:21 pm

[re=597728]Jim89048[/re]: and now it turns out we should’ve been smoking Gauloises all along.

Johnny Zhivago June 13, 2010 at 9:32 pm

Say what? Afghanastan is now the world’s richest country and will own us!

Say hello to our new Afghan masters:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/14/world/asia/14minerals.html?emc=na

Jim89048 June 13, 2010 at 9:56 pm

[re=597744]ShiningMathPath[/re]: Yes. For freedom, of course.

Jim89048 June 13, 2010 at 9:58 pm

[re=597752]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Fucking awesome. Something else to fight over.

JoeCool BigPecker June 13, 2010 at 10:07 pm

nice post. I like your blog!

Jukesgrrl June 13, 2010 at 10:15 pm

[re=597711]SayItWithWookies[/re]: I haven’t clicked on the link yet, but based on syntax as much as irony, I’d guess George Bush. I’m going back to see if I’m right.

Jukesgrrl June 13, 2010 at 10:18 pm

[re=597711]SayItWithWookies[/re]: OMG! Everyone in the family speaks in that weird way??

the problem child June 13, 2010 at 10:18 pm

[re=597752]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Great. Now the Russians will want back in again.

I anticipate a campaign by the Bolivian government: “No blood lithium.”

the problem child June 13, 2010 at 10:19 pm

[re=597758]Jukesgrrl[/re]: Good eye, but different Bush.

Is This Thing On? June 13, 2010 at 11:07 pm

*salute*

oldguy June 13, 2010 at 11:10 pm

[re=597752]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Well that should cheer everybody up over there. Lithium and poppies and sheep.

Words June 13, 2010 at 11:33 pm

[re=597733]NYNYNY[/re]: Also along those lines, Pres. O is coming to the *other* Gulf states he’s not been to. One is mine; however, he’s coming to a tiny dot on our map called Theodore. He oughta be a man go to Mobile, where they’d let him know the Wrath of God!! Or at least a bit larger town/village, such as Magnolia Springs or Fairhope.

God hates AL.

slappypaddy June 13, 2010 at 11:35 pm

[re=597759]Jukesgrrl[/re]: leapin’ lizards, it’s a vision thang, the way them fo’k talk ‘n’ all.

OzoneTom June 13, 2010 at 11:36 pm

Yes, that is definitely the wrong indefinite article. SO sad.

kudzu June 13, 2010 at 11:47 pm

[re=597765]Words[/re]: I lived in Theodore in the late ’80s and back then it did look like god hated AL. I guess things don’t change much.

Fly Over Girl June 13, 2010 at 11:48 pm

[re=597720]zhubajie[/re]: Perhaps better the Quaker Oates dude than adapting that shapely syrup bottle into Aunt Vagina.

I Heart Accuracy June 14, 2010 at 12:17 am

OT: Russell Pearce is an asshole.

Jim89048 June 14, 2010 at 12:21 am

[re=597765]Words[/re]: God and I do not diverge greatly in our judgement on AL. I had a very Easyriders-esque moment in a Waffle House in Mobile and couldn’t wait to find my way back to the interstate.

harry palmer June 14, 2010 at 12:38 am

[re=597769]Fly Over Girl[/re]: “Perhaps better the Quaker Oates dude than adapting that shapely syrup bottle into Aunt Vagina.”

I hear that stuff is not even genuine Mabel anymore. It’s made with high-fucktose corn syrup now.

(Sorry!)

SayItWithWookies June 14, 2010 at 12:40 am

[re=597759]Jukesgrrl[/re]: That’s what happens to English when it starts at a circumlocuitious New England Protestant Brahmin who probably grew up in a household where the piano legs were covered for modesty and filter it through Yale’s version of Hank Williams Jr. with a 4,000 word vocabulary.
What’s frankly miraculous is that she and Jenna aren’t self-absorbed privileged snots — at least not outwardly. Jenna’s doing some sort of education charity, I think. It’s almost like they’ve taken it upon themselves to redress some of the excesses of their father’s pillaging of the foundations of our civilization.
And how egalitarian of Dubya to include his own offspring in the generations who will be paying for his reckless careen through history.

Bearbloke June 14, 2010 at 1:13 am

[re=597641]Jim89048[/re]: [re=597699]V572625694[/re]: But where are the recruiting posters for the two/three/four ? wars you Yanks are fighting for that sweet petroleum and those newly-discovered minerals? You’re going to need many more troops once the new boy-king of Knifecrime Island accedes to the increasingly harrumph -y demands of his nation’s BP-stockholding pensioners and withdrawals his Squaddies from the fields of BushAfghIraqiPakstan following Obama’s (probable? ) refusal to sweep this whole nasty BP-ecological-holocaust business under the proverbial rug and cease “demonising the Fine British People”, like a good chap…

Perhaps BP can fund the recruitment and training costs, and McDonald’s can feed them?

Jim89048 June 14, 2010 at 1:54 am

[re=597774]Bearbloke[/re]: I keep waiting to hear how much my own pension plan has invested in BP and how truly fucked I am. Since I’m too old to enlist to fight and die for the glory and honor of BP, I suppose I have to do the next best thing in their eyes and just die already.

I Heart Accuracy June 14, 2010 at 2:00 am

[re=597773]SayItWithWookies[/re]: whoa egalitarian way too close to Dubya there.

Bearbloke June 14, 2010 at 2:13 am

[re=597777]Jim89048[/re]: Be a dear and clean up some oil first, wontcha luv?

SayItWithWookies June 14, 2010 at 2:28 am

[re=597778]I Heart Accuracy[/re]: A good egalitarian war crimes prosecutor wouldn’t rest until Dubya was hanging by his thumbs from a castle wall overlooking the North Sea. Better?

I Heart Accuracy June 14, 2010 at 2:39 am

[re=597780]SayItWithWookies[/re]: With that image and all the booze, I can now sleep.

But since you mentioned castles, could you work in “pitard” next time? I love that word.

I Heart Accuracy June 14, 2010 at 2:46 am

Ah, shit and now the minerals thing is hitting the tubes. God damned 24 hour news cycles. Marketwatch is already all over it. Hang Seng commodity futures, everybody place your bets!

GreenHalo June 14, 2010 at 5:28 am

And for the goyim who thought “kosher” at least meant a minimum of cleanliness and purity, may I introduce you to the FDA-recognized foodstuff: “Kosher Turkey Anus.”

Enjoy your Yankee Stadium hot dogs, tools. C.M.O.T. Dibbler thanks you for your custom and looks forward to your future business.

Bearbloke June 14, 2010 at 5:45 am

[re=597786]GreenHalo[/re]: Is that what you Yanks are fed? YUCK! No wonder you’re all mad!

Bearbloke June 14, 2010 at 5:50 am
S.Luggo June 14, 2010 at 7:17 am

What? No TrukNutz sign?

GreenHalo June 14, 2010 at 7:21 am

[re=597788]Bearbloke[/re]: I love the smell of corroboration in the morning. It smells like… victory. One day this ritual-purity pigshit is gonna end…. (Walks away sadly.)

By the by, if all Americans are Yankees, then all Australians are English. And this American never eats animal protein out of a can, and would have to flip a coin if faced with cannibalism or sausage.

Papas got a brand new teabag June 14, 2010 at 9:22 am

In the background you can see the sign for local BBQ joint the Pig n’ Steak. That’s where real uhmerican vuhjinyans go to shove meat down their gullet.

seriously if you’re ever in the area, go there instead of the mcdonalds/BP monstrosity

Prommie June 14, 2010 at 10:24 am

[re=597791]GreenHalo[/re]: Those waddling fatties walking along in front of the pig-n-steak, I bet they have some fine, well-marbled meat on their bones, like Kobe beef.

GreenHalo June 14, 2010 at 11:30 am

[re=597903]Prommie[/re]: Excuse my being stupid, but the first time you popped up in this thread, you cold-busted a non-sequitur about some… pig-n-steak, and Kobe beef… Which isn’t against the law, but you addressed it to me. I beg your pardon, but what was that all about, again? I’m always willing to learn.

chaste everywhere June 14, 2010 at 11:48 am

But is it a Black Anus Burger?

GOPCrusher June 14, 2010 at 1:01 pm

[re=597711]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Could of knocked me over with a feather when I heard Babs utter that phrase on Faux Noise Sunday. But, of course, the Tea Baggers will argue that it’s further proof that the Bush Crime Family are not real conservatives. Real conservatives want the poor to die in the streets.

Doglessliberal June 14, 2010 at 1:13 pm

[re=598013]chaste everywhere[/re]: Only for Muslin customers.

[re=597729]m_supercomputer[/re]: actually, no, this is Madison, VA close to Culpeper, right off Rte 29.

Accordion-o-rama June 14, 2010 at 1:59 pm

BP is giving us all an Anus Burger.

Mad Farmer Manifest June 14, 2010 at 2:02 pm

[re=597624]Geogre[/re]: Hrair bad things? You and Bunny with a Whip should get together and speak lapine.

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