Fox News and the popular entertainment press have conspired to kill off Sarah Palin’s “Boob-Gate.” It’s over and finished, done, no more fun, no more page views, basically the end of America — but not really, because Palin herself had to get in a cutesy teevee reacharound with her Scientologist enabler Greta Van Susteren before the two cable clowns could pronounce the matter dead. Dare we share the gross video with the Wonkette community, on an otherwise lovely weekend afternoon? Does the Pope help priests rape children?
Well, we can’t find any video. You have to go to the Fox News internet thing to watch it, which was their plan all along! But there is a transcript, and it is as gross and bullshitt-y and faux cutesy and faux outraged as you can imagine.
VAN SUSTEREN: You know, it’s sort of interesting, Governor. I’ll take a bet with you. Maybe you won’t take this bet with me. But the last segment, we discussed policy. I asked about energy policy since energy is so important to your home state of Alaska. My guess is this next question I’m going to ask you, which is the buzz of the Internet, it’s in mainstream media — I bet it gets more attention than our discussion about energy. So here it is. Breast implants! Did you have them or not? Because that’s all over the Internet about you, and mainstream media.
PALIN: Well, first, Greta, you know why we love you? Because you’re not afraid to ask the questions. And I got to respect you for asking that question because I know that “boobgate” is all over the Internet right now because there are a lot of, I guess, bored, idle bloggers and reporters with nothing else to talk about. And I think some of those folks, too, they need to grab a shovel, go down to the gulf, volunteer to help, clean up and save a whale or something instead of reporting on such stupid things like that.
No, I have not had implants. I can’t believe, yes, that we’re even talking about this. I think a report like that is about as real and truthful as those reports that Todd and I are divorcing or that I bought a place in the Hamptons or that Trigg is not my own child. And we still put up with that kind of garbage, too, in even the mainstream media, Greta. It’s amazing.
Calling Andrew Sullivan! This sounds like a tort, Andrew, and we expect you to pursue it. As for the Gulf Oil Spill, Palin, you disingenuous celebrity scam-artist, we can’t wait to see you down on the Panhandle coast with your designer shovel … posing for a few pictures before dropping it on a half-dead oil bird and going back to your suite. [Entertainment Weekly/Fox News]
Read More:
- Did Sarah Palin Buy Herself a Couple of Luxury Items?
- Women With Breast Implants Speak Out On Sarah Palin's Suspected Breast Implants
- USA Weekend, Real America's Version of NYT Magazine, Visits Sarah Palin
- Stupid Palin Email Dump Media Frenzy Makes Fox News Poll Kind of Fun
- Sarah Palin Mystery Tour Game Begins
{ 116 comments }
So basically, she admits to falling flat 95% of the time?
Rack, and pinhead steering.
Today we are all real boobs.
Point taken. I will travel to the gulf with a shovel to save a whale POSTHASTE!
That Greta, never afraid to ask the tough questions.
Ladies, please understand that breast implants are not attractive to Teabaggers. Teabaggers value purity, and honesty. So, although these devices may turn some heads, they detract from a woman’s overall sexual appeal to us. Of much greater attractiveness is a certain robust passion: originating in the heart, processed in the mind, and expressed in various sounds and movements.
So it pleases me to know that Sarah is au natural.
Why should anyone volunteer to perform manual labor for a multi-billion-dollar oil company? When my house is a mess, do I call up BP and say, can you come clean this up for free? Bastards should be paying anyone and everyone in the cleanup and paying them well.
The Beauty Queen is asked one simple little question about her tits and she gets all community organizer on us.
I’d like to know if she used air-quotes on each side of her tahtahs when she said “boobgate”.
It’s not like anyone pays attention to you because you’re smart, Sarah.
Am I the only one to detect any sexual tension?
Why don’t these two just do it and get it over with.
Appleton’s finest, that van Susteren.
That is, if you don’t count the John Birch Society. Or Houdini.
But after those two, &, oh yeah, Rocky Bleier, SKAppleton, Willem Dafore, & Lawrence University (lomit), yeah, Greta’s right around there somewhere.
So we’re believing Sarah Palin then?
I don’t believe her this time, either.
[re=597503]Brick Oven Bill[/re]: You like sex with the mind; like sex in the eye socket of a blind-in-one-eye Boston whore, who, after returning the glass eye says “I’ll keep an eye out for you”
[re=597511]Katydid[/re]: Of course not! [re=597512]Jim89048[/re]: Me neither.
Love the boobs, just can’t stand the messenger.
Gosh, Greta – you’re such a hard-hitting journalist. Crap.
Oh, and Ken — I appreciate the weekend efforts!
Sarah doesn’t need to volunteer at the Gulf since she already lived through the Exxon Valdez spill.
We’ll believe you on the bonus boobs, Sarah. Just show us Trig’s birth certificate and everything’s clear.
she got implants for two boobs and hair extensions for the third . that’s why the left one is hairy .
Really “lame” stream media – let’s get back to the real issues facing real Patriots.
Just where the hell is that Obama birth certificate?
Hey! Maybe if he shows us his birthy certificate thingy then Sarah will show us her boobies!
Then why doesn’t Sarah release her medical history from her Plastic Surgeon?
What is she afraid of?
What is she hiding?
What about butt implants?
[re=597511]Katydid[/re]: Well, I was inclined to think it was a heavily padded bra, but since when she speaks, she lies, NOT ANY MORE!
…you know why we love you? Because you’re not afraid to ask the questions.
She means the questions she can answer.
Needz moar hooters.
shall we all consider ourselves bitch-slapped?
fap on!
This might make me a “titter,” but I refuse to believe anything she says until she produces a birth certificate for those puppies. Or I get to bang bristol, either or.
I love you bristol! and the other one. not the little one, and not the mongoloid one.
Has Ken Layne been possessed by Beelzebub?
First Bush, now Palin. this is the Wonkette week-end posting from HELL
With all her airplaney six figure talkey-talkey, maybe she’s not doin’ the running thing. That plus too may of the teabaggers’ favorite food group, that would be Cheetos BoB, would equal bigger boobs. Just sayin’.
[re=597519]SayItWithWookies[/re]: She could see it from her house y’know, also.
Who better to get to the bottom of this than Greta Van Sustern, who has had more facework than Mount Rushmore.
Maybe she is PREGGERS!!! Move over Mariah…
“My guess is this next question I’m going to ask you, which is the buzz of the Internet, it’s in mainstream media — I bet it gets more attention than our discussion about energy.” Could that be because Sarah doesn’t know shit about energy except how to socialize it for Alacsksa? (sic)
Maxtopexy, Victoria’s Secret or GTFO, Greta.
[re=597530]Crank Tango[/re]: It’s always good to make your affections known, with a high degree of specificity where possible.
Think Todd’s still bangin’ Gertie?
[re=597537]V572625694[/re]: you never know. Bristol or the other one… maple? mountain ash? River birch? might be on this very site for her mom and think “jeeze, all these wonketeers think everything is so funny, and they are mostly assholes, but that crank tango really loves me. and my sister.” and then I am in.
[re=597534]WadISay[/re]: greta’s face is mt rushmore , but not in a good way
[re=597538]Crank Tango[/re]: That worked for me with Tamron Hall. You wouldn’t believe how good she is at giving head.
Palin’s hair is so yesterday.
well for your sake I hope “very”…and I am glad to hear my strategy is a sound one. Also, french chick from the acai berry ads… je t’aime !
Governor, the next question I’m going to ask you and it isn’t a blatant attempt to boost ratings on increase page hits by mentioning your tatas, but the question I’m going to ask you and it is mine, is about your breasts. Let’s talk about your boobs for a bit shall we? Not that Faux Snooze would ever stoop to such pathetic attempts to grab our viewers attention by mentioning your headlights.
Dare we share the gross video with the Wonkette community, on an otherwise lovely weekend afternoon? Does the Pope help priests rape children?
Dear Wonkette,
We’ve been together just about a year now, and when two people -or in this case, a (presumed) person and an Internet political comedy website- grow together and spend so much time together, it’s only natural that they start taking each other for granted, and don’t let each other know when they’re appreciated. And so, I wish to say something that I certainly have not said often enough:
I love you. For that right there, especially.
Thanks,
“mumblyjoe”.
Notice how she denies having “implants” in the plural … leaving open the possibility that she has a single breast implant, or (more likely) is using her own skull as a birdhouse.
And we still put up with that kind of garbage, too, in even the mainstream media, Greta. It’s amazing.
“Not as amazing, though, Greta, as the fact that apparently Wonkette is now considered the mainstream media, unlike Fox News, which I, mama-grizzly Sarah Palin, work for, and which has regularly had the highest ratings of the three terrible cable news shows over there. Either that, or I’m a massive bitch/hypocrite. You betcha!”
Van Susteren: Which parts of you are fake?
Palin: Oh, all of them!
Show us yer tits!
…So that we may make a more accurate assessment of the veracity of your claim, of course.
[re=597504]BlueStateLiberal[/re]:
The same reason you pay taxes to fight wars for corporate interests and are supposed to donate your money for disaster relief that you should be getting for your tax dollars.
This whole issue of Sarah Palin’s tits has become too politicized. We need a bipartisan commission to investigate.
I never thought she had implants. I voted for lift-and-fluff surgery. Greta, being the plastic surgery aficionada that she is, would know just how to parse her question so Bible Spice could pooh-pooh it and pass a lie detector test.
The key is, Greta used the word “implants,” which Her Dishonor can happily deny. A real reporter would have asked, “You’ve spent a lot of time in Los Angeles lately Half-Governor, and as I’m sure you know that’s the world’s capital of the personal enhancement excellence that you are exhibiting so beautifully. Do you share worldclass medical specialists with your friend Greta, or do you have your own?”
She has a harder time making fun of someone when they’ve flattered her shamelessly, because she has to pause to enjoy the compliments. Then, when she issues her “Oh, you silly” denial, hit her with, “Well if you don’t want someone asking about your breasts, you shouldn’t display them like a pole-dancer.”
[re=597514]Ken Layne[/re]: There is some value in the old “Made you look!” game which has been morphed, thanks to Greta, into “Make you ask!” How much effort did it take to type that rumor up and post the photos? Compare that to how much work it was to make Greta presentable (on HDTV, no less) and to get Fox to burn that much airtime on an Internet rumor about Sarah Palin’s tits being worked on. The fact that they had to ask the question at all is a triumph! Never has so much been owed by so many to so few. Since 1940 or so, that is.
With apologies to Leonard Bernstein:
♫ ♫♫ ♫♫ ♫
I feel pretty
‘Cause my titties
Are now pretty and hefty and high!
And I pity
Any girl who hasn’t got these tonight.
It’s alarming
It’s alarming
It’s alarming how much they have grown
But I’m bummed
That no one believes they’re my own
See the pretty tits in that mirror there
Whose can those attractive tits be?
Such a pretty pack
Such a pretty rack
Such a pretty stack
Such a pretty me!
It’s so stunning
My enhancing
Feel like running and dancing for joy
For I’m loved
By myself, a wonderful goy!
“…using her own skull as a bird house …” LMAO. Thank you for that!
[re=597555]Katydid[/re]: So good…
[re=597553]Jukesgrrl[/re]: This is the kind of deep and insightful analysis the lamestream media just does not provide. And by the way has anyone noticed how unbearable CNN has become? It’s like they’re working at it: “How can we suck even more than Fox?”
The question is, Can you still see Alaska – or even over the fence – from them new bionic hooties?
“clean up and save a whale or something”
words to live by.
Ha ha Greta, way to deflect troublesome questions about your own massive amounts of cosmetic surgery, and appear almost self-deprecating at the same time. So Foxy.
All you guys who think Sister’s a MILF, beware, now that she’s armed with machine-gun jubblies.
[i] bored, idle bloggers[/i]
Ken! She practically mentioned you by name, dawg!
Wonkette stock is up to can and a half of Hobo beans a share! (Amiright?)
I heard from a reliable source that she’s got a tramp stamp that reads “drill baby drill”…
Throw that in your Morning roundup and watch Politico try to “win the morning” with it by 10:15.
Look at dem tig o bitties. The Us American voters must feel them to make sure. You want burf certificat? we want to feel dem titties. Only way to know dem’s real.also
governor!!!!?????? she ain t no damn governor!!! she should be addressed as ‘stupid bitch’
VAN SUSTEREN: You know, it’s sort of interesting, [stupid bitch]. I’ll take a bet with you.
This important national issue—Palin’s boobs—behooves us to reflect on Nancy Reagan’s small bust, if only for continuity’s sake.
Moreover, Gawker is the most boring, opportunist blog ever, and I make this point to witness for Wonkette, of course. But also, importantly, to compare Reagan’s tits to Gawker, and Palin’s to Wonkette.
Gossipy Ha-Ha rumor floating around the blogosphere = mainstream media obsession
Fuck off, Fox. You own the entire idiot demographic of the country and are the number one cable news station on the market. You *are* the mainstream. Fuck your victimhood.
[this message is being sent from my blackberry - i'm in the gulf saving a whale or something!]
Governor, we hear you now have some Emersons.
Emersons?
Emerson Biggins!
Just like Greta never got an eye job, right?
She’s taking the Troops overseas now: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1286223/Sarah-Palin-lines-UK-trip–visit-Lady-Thatcher–looking-buoyant-recently.html?ITO=1490
While it is true that the majority of intelligent women of depth and substance bristle at the idea of having excess attention drawn to the outstanding features of their bodies- be they good or bad- as opposed to those of their minds, this woman has neither intelligence, nor depth, nor substance. So, she don’t mind so damned much.
Dollars to donuts we will now see more questionable bunching, gathering, and darts or whatever in her blouses.
[re=597579]the problem child[/re]: One individual involved in the talks about the visit said: ‘Palin’s people haven’t said anything about meeting Cameron. Their main interest is getting a picture of her with Lady Thatcher. I’m not sure they know who David Cameron is.’
Oh my — she’s going to get eviscerated by some very polite people and she won’t even know it happened. And many of them will be conservatives.
Her representatives approached Margaret Thatcher…
Is that>/b> what she’s calling them…
[re=597564]Katydid[/re]: Sorry, I’m late to get your back… Maria is so proud!!
BTW, who gives a rat’s ass @ sister Palin’s tits, enhanced or otherwise????
I sure as hell do not.
I’m so naive I didn’t know that Martha Raddatz was married to Ben Bradlee’s son by his first marriage. Ok, you superior jerks, I JUST got my Vanity Fair magazine… So. Sally Quinn: bitch or maybe SUPERbitch?
[re=597579]the problem child[/re]: Since she’s the queen of the teabaggers that want to kill anything/one that reminds them of BP, this should go well.
[re=597586]Jim89048[/re]: nope—Palin is still sayin’ “”drill here drill now”, a variation of “drill baby drill”…..
I presume this means BP should keep drillin’ & spillin’!
[re=597589]sati demise[/re]: I don’t watch Faux so I don’t know what I’m supposed to think all the time. Does this mean they want US Americans to pay for the cleanup out of the goodness of our hearts, or do they want BP to pay until they go bankrupt and we bail them out?
Damn, I have the dumb tonight.
[re=597554]steverino247[/re]: Not only that, but any second she’s taking to address a stupid Internet rumor is one second that she’s not spouting inane history-rewriting bullshit.
…
MOAR STUPID INTERNET RUMORS, RITE NOW
[re=597577]J[/re]: She had Bell’s Palsy, similar to, but not severe as whatsisname, the guy who spoiled the election for Al Gore and subsequently bequeathed the Dubya presidency to the nation.
Oh wait…you meant the face lift to make her look not so worn out and haggard. My mistake.
I think Snow Billy is far more crafty about keeping her name in the media – she’s givin America what they want when they want it. Who’s heard of that other Republican media darling lately, whatsher name, Paris McCain with her Blogette or whatever. America doesn’t want blogs honey, they want honey, honey. Give us some and we’ll start to remember you
Notice that she did not deny the labia reduction surgery or asshole bleaching.
WHAT IS SHE TRYING TO HIDE?!? HENNGH?
Of course, we all believe everything the Abomination of Palination says, don’t we?
Oh no,
I got Wonkette banned.
So sorry Ken, Jim Arielle, Liz, Reilly, et. al.
Here’s the deal:
“This was all started by the obsessively anti-Palin/anti-conservative website Wonkette, and frankly I’ve had it with their emotional and political immaturity. From this point on quotes from or links to Wonkette will be deleted from the comments section of all HolyCoast posts. I’m not going to indirectly advertise their warped product.”
http://holycoast.blogspot.com/2010/06/palin-boobgate-fantasy-of-bored.html
Keep it clean.
[re=597557]V572625694[/re]: Crap News Network vs F*ucked-in-the-head News?
“We love you because you ask questions” = “We love you because you lob easily dismissed softballs and allow us to escape serious discussions on energy with light, fluffy bullshit”
[re=597579]the problem child[/re]: Wow. It appears, judging by the comments, that they lurve them some $arah in England. My own comment wasn’t the most reviled on the board, but I’m guessing I don’t have as much in common with my ancestral homeland as I once thought.
[re=597620]Marlowe[/re]: New comments are disabled. Spoil sport. But the comment count for his other posts averages about one. Instead of Holycoast he should change it to Get Off My Lawn!
If there’s one thing I know about fake boobs, it’s that when you ask a woman flat out whether she has them, she will always tell the truth.
[re=597661]Oldskool[/re]: He has few regulars, one, who like me, lives in PG County.
I’d say post under my other private eye non de plume, but then he might get banned.
PhillipMarlowe has already bitten the dust at his site.
I don’t care about the old ladies hooters; when is she going to get a brain implant?
All very cutesy; but Wonkette has done serious harm to the nation if Gov. Palin makes good on her threat to “wear layers”.
So she has quit on her tits?
What about her vajayjay?
[re=597552]hotdog[/re]: How about just a bi commission?
Thing I don’t understand about these idiot cons is, NewsCorp/Fox is the #4 media corporation in the werrrld. How is that anything but “mainstream”?
[re=597579]the problem child[/re]: That Daily Mail article tactfully neglects to mention that Baroness Thatcher is suffering from dementia and short-term memory loss. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/7579352.stm
She won’t know who Sarah is, won’t understand why she’s there and won’t remember her 10 minutes after the visit is over.
[re=597700]Robinet[/re]: It’s all a photo op for $arah. Sarah doesn’t know very much about Thatcher either, other than she was a soulmate to Saint Ronnie. It will be a standard SP photo op/event, where there is much sanctioned photography, some inane shit muttered and a group of people left confused and wondering when the next meal will be. Sarah needs pics with conservative icons for her office, and evidently someone in the UK is stupid enough to pay her to drop by and have a photo op with the Baroness. Afterwards Maggie will probably ask who the boorish american woman was and what all the fuss was about.
[re=597513]Baby who ate the Dingo[/re]:
Please don’t feed Brick Oven Bill, trust me, we have been dealing with him over at Balloon Juice for ages and it is best not to, no food after midnight and never get him wet type of deal.
[re=597700]Robinet[/re]: Even with memory loss and altzeimers Maggie would probably say “who the fuck was that idiot?” two minutes after Sarah left the room and when it was explained to her that Saint Sarah is worshipped by about 26% of the US voting population as the next Regan she would probably be consumed with such a fit of laughing that they would need to have emergency medical staff on standby.
Take it away Anchorage Daily News, 1996. “Sarah Palin, a commercial fisherman from Wasilla, told her husband on Tuesday she was driving to Anchorage to shop at Costco. Instead, she headed straight for Ivana. And there, at J.C. Penney’s cosmetic department, was Ivana, the former Mrs. Donald Trump, sitting at a table next to a photograph of herself. She wore a light-colored pantsuit and pink fingernail polish. Her blonde hair was coiffed in a bouffant French twist. ‘We want to see Ivana,” said Palin, who admittedly smells like salmon for a large part of the summer, ”because we are so desperate in Alaska for any semblance of glamour and culture.”’
[re=597722]Litlebritdifrnt[/re]: Someone out there thinks she has other plans. Read the comments section. http://hillbuzz.org/2010/06/13/speculation-what-is-governor-palins-intent-in-meeting-with-margaret-thatcher-in-britain/
The Wonkette needs to invent a new style of discourse for followups where others actually took The Wonkette seriously. Handling it like any other topic seems a missed opportunity.
/crit
[re=597735]Pandy[/re]: Seriously, what the hell is wrong with those people? They act as if they know Palin personally; they have way too much of a personal stake in Palin’s fortunes. They’re so happy she’s going to see Thatcher they’re planning out entire European tours for her….what is that blog?
[re=597530]Crank Tango[/re]: If you are referring to Willow Palin, check her birth certificate before proceeding. She may be jailbait.
Two boobs having a conversation about two boobs.
[re=597595]mumblyjoe[/re]: Fuck yeah.
[re=597700]Robinet[/re]: Sorry, thought that it was common knowledge that she suffers from Reaganitis.
I leak butt juice for the Black Hole of Calcutta.
[re=597742]Katydid[/re]: Hillbuzz was PUMA central during the election. It is apparently now a Palinfan club.
[re=597750]the problem child[/re]: So did I — that’s why I thought it was weird that the Daily Mail tippy-toed around the subject. They consider it “embarrassing” for Palin’s camp to contact Thatcher and not 10 Downing Street but never once mention that it might be embarrassing to haul out an elderly person for a photo-op when said person is senile and probably has no clue as to what’s happening.
[re=597521]gjdodger[/re]: [re=597535]Diamante[/re]: So, young Tripp will soon get a little brother?
[re=597521]gjdodger[/re]: Oh no Mate, you want DNA tests to tackle that enigma…
I did not have sex with that woman. I DID NOT — HAVE SEX WITH — THAT WOMAN!
I was just up in Alaska salmon fishing, and she was douching in the live well. And that’s ALL, damnit.
Happy Fourtho de Mayo y Julio, ya’ll!
BJC
[re=597732]Rentboy.gov[/re]: ““We want to see Ivana,” said Palin, who admittedly smells like salmon for a large part of the summer…”
Perhaps Sarah should try to see a gyno, instead of Ivana…
FYI: Mediaite has the re-embeddable video and the post author credits Ken and Wonkette for being first with the question.
[re=597755]the problem child[/re]: You are right about HillBuzz. They think they’re being feminists, or something. This Thatcher bit will be more fodder for, well, everyone. On to the next Palin non-story that will break the internet again. http://bit.ly/d1w9n4
To go with that pretty face,a NICE set of boobs to show off too!..This will be an asset to her nice legs.I would love to take her camping for a week.Now,if she could only read a few books and raise her I.Q. level,she would be a credible candidate in politics!..You look HOT,Sarah!
Every time I read about the idiot from Wasilla, I get a little dumber. OUCH! I just poked myself in the eye with a fork.
Team Palin ought to consider parlaying this into a multi-network press junket. I’d renew my cable subscription to see her go all Drew Barrymore on Letterman.
I can’t believe, yes, that we’re even talking about this.
Try, just as a crazy experiment, having something of factual substance to discuss. Like how about ANOTHER domestic oil leak of tens of thousands of barrels is threatening the U.S., this time heading for the Great Salt Lake, Oh, Let’s Drill More Where It Is Safer Oil Industry Bitch.
If she’d stop proving what a douche brain she is by opening her mouth, she’d be amazed how fast people would stop talking about her altogether.
Since Greta was forced into complete facial reconstruction for her Faux Debut, maybe Greta and Silicon $arah could have served the public better by discussing the benefits/cons of plastic surgery? Combined they outdo Heidi by about 10 procedures. One day, when Silicon $arah finally poses for Playboy, we’ll see em’ anyway.
Comments on this entry are closed.