Well, he still can’t talk good, but he seems more relaxed and at ease with himself than he did during those last seven or eight years of his presidency. And here’s your Good-Night Present, George W. Bush, mumbling softly in your ear, about whatever the hell, the “Institute of Failed Presidents” and the beauty of Texas. At least he’s not doing a vile Dick Cheney routine, and for that we are appreciative. [YouTube]
George W. Bush Welcomes You To the Internet
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Well, looks line SOMEBODY is trying to prove Sir McCartney wrong. That’s a lotta books.
Taking GW Shrub’s policy advice on economic growth would be like taking Lucretia Borgia’s advice on barbecue.
[re=597361]bago[/re]: Those books are like the old joke about ARVN rifles: only dropped once and never been used.
Did one of his plates slip? Do I hear a faint syllabant S? It sounds as if he is going to to break out in his daffy duck imitation at any moment.
“Why thank you for tuning in to the facebook. And welcome to my inaugural address. Even though I’m wearing pants — heh heh.
“We here at the Institute for Lighting My Farts are guided by the belief that freedom (pause) nibihuhu lou direction of freedom and prosperity. And it is this faith in the guidance of progress that hoobawaba makes us a better society with regard to the economy and (pause) education (pause) and being an ownership society.
“And the freedom of our faith is transforming beacons of democracy worldwide.” And here the monster will extend one long mucus-coated tentacle out of the host’s mouth, apply a sucker to his left eyeball, pluck it out with a resounding thock and slowly slither back into the recesses of Dubya’s throat.
And from then on all his ex-friends and colleagues will remember him as a RINO.
“…heh heh.”
looks like he’s green screened against those books!
“I am not done with policy.”
When did you start?
Christ, I still want to punch him right in his smug little pie hole.
Great. Assuming he does for the internet what he did to everything else he touched, the World Wide Web will fail totally in the next two years.
At least we won’t have to deal with Sarah Palin’s Facebook updates, but I’m sure this isn’t a good thing.
Empowering women? In the middle east? Only AMERICANS deserve human freedom. And to think you liberals complained that my argument that Bush wasn’t conservative enough was just intellectual masturbation.
[re=597373]Aramel[/re]: By empowering, he means sticking alligator clamps on their nipples, putting a bag over their heads, standing them on MRE boxes in the middle of a puddle of water and telling them that if they fall off they’ll electrocute themselves and nobody will ever know what happened to them. That’s what he meant by empowering, because anything else would be a lie.
[re=597375]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Yeah, I’m not bitter. Maybe we can consolidate some cases into a class action suit against rich assholes in general. And not from the beginning of time, but just from 1980 on. We wouldn’t even ask for money — just roll back all the despicable changes in society that rich bastards have made since 1980. I’d settle for that, not even an apology. And it’d be a great deal for the Republicans too — because they could campaign against activist judges, and they love that shit.
OK, only got 10 seconds in, but that old lady’s Adam’s Apple is distracting.
You know, I really thought my seething hatred of him would have subsided after two years.
I was completely wrong. I still want to kick this douchebag right in his shriveled little nutsack. Fuck him, fuck everything he did, and everything he stood for.
Is he
a) constantly having a mild stroke,
b) warm-gin slur-y,
c) operating puppet robot body on his own now.
fuck, it just won’t go away. and it pops up here on wonkette in a the middle of the night, like some incubus perched on lady teabag’s questionable chest. i was sleeping until the cats right outside my bedroom window began screaming. i thought they were screaming at each other, but turns out they were cruising the internets and had hit upon this reminder of the nightmare that was smirky monkey’s presidency.
why has this man not been haled before the international criminal court? is it because only adults can be held legally responsible for their actions?
I didn’t watch the vid — I wouldn’t do that to myself! ;-D
Wow — the old dude (heh) has aged, eh?
I note all the big-person books behind him, stuffing all those shelves … Laura must have let him sit on the nice comfy couch in her library so he could look all smart ‘n all …
We need someone to program a F/B app to throw rotten tomatoes and eggs at war criminals. Metaphorically. Like you can send someone a cupcake on MySpace. Get ‘er done, programmers. I don’t think that’s illegal. Yet.
I can’t help but be reminded of those videos of Heaven’s Gate leader Marshall “Do” Applewhite. I half-expected him to begin his address with, “People of Earth…” and encourage us to travel with him to meet the Nibiruans.
Somewhere, a few million Republicans with selective memory are yearning for the American utopia that existed on Jan. 19, 2009 as they watch this.
Obama is a way classier representative of big business, big oil and big banks. There is just no comparison, is there?
[re=597388]Aurelio[/re]: Obama has about the same results for big business, big oil, and big banks as Buah had. Bush will hang first. But, yeah, Obama is classier. It might confuse his jury a little bit.
I wonder how many takes it was before he got inaugural halfway right?
I only made it to .15 but is that really a framed print of some chairs hanging in front of the bookshelf? Pretty much sums it all up for me.
Okay, I think we can check off “POTUS for Dummies” and “Help! I’ve Fucked Up Everything But Want To Maintain My Sobriety!” and “My Pet Goat.” But what are all those other books?
[re=597392]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I’m guessing “Books by the Foot.” You can rent books for TV or movie sets. Or just flat-out buy them by the foot for your own house. So maybe you get all the Nancy Drew mysteries and the collected works of Samuel Beckett. It’s not like anyone is going to actually pull out a book and look at it, right?
I watched “Waiting for Armageddon” tonight/last night/ at the dawn of my beverage drinking/ whatever.
I always thought Bush was some poor stupid sap who was manipulated into being part of some really nasty shit, but now I’m thinking he was the perfect example of why putting an evangelistic Christian in power is fricking dangerous. There was a bit in the movie how all the way out there crazy Christians think Armageddon is at hand, cuz the fricking war in Iraq fulfills biblical prophecy. OMG, seriously? I had heard that shit before, but now I get what in the hell folks were talking about. That fricking nutbag being as incredibly stupid as he was, really fricking thought he was an instrument of God, bringing about the second coming.
This is a really shitty pill for me to swallow, cuz I’m a deep believer in respecting the office of the President, but he’s gone now, so I can freak out and point and scream “crazy ass-hole” at him all I want now, right?
He’s at about Alzheimer’s Stage 3. I’d give him another 5 years, tops, before he is a shut-in.
[re=597375]SayItWithWookies[/re]: By empowering women he means his girlfriend, Bandar so the nipple clamps scenario applies.
[re=597377]Katydid[/re]: Ugh. That one. The glimmer in his eye is quite queenly, quite. Not that there’s anything wrong with… but why does the rest of the world have to suffer b/c your dad is a homophobe? Oliver Stone at least got that part right (by implication).
He sounds happy if not a little slow (as usual). He helped his friends, screwed his enemies (everyone who isn’t his friend/girlfriend Bandar) and paid no consequences. Why wouldn’t he look happy?
[re=597381]slappypaddy[/re]: “…and it pops up here on wonkette in a the middle of the night, like some incubus perched on lady teabag’s questionable chest…” Ew! Thank you.
[re=597397]BigWhiteCloud[/re]: “I’m guessing “Books by the Foot.” You can rent books for TV or movie sets.” Yes, the Lady doth potest too much, methinks. ‘Member when the Righties got all in a pearl-clutch b/c Barry didn’t have a jacket on his first couple days in the big chair? W. et al had all this “decorum” but no respect for the law or the country’s principles (even true conservative ones). W w/ the books, open collar shirt and folksy concern smiling in reflect of what he has wrought. Slower, but still mean, little douche.
Thanks for leaving us with this target for the weekend musings, Ken. Maybe this’ll inch up toward last weekend’s views. Where’s the cat toy?
The Smirk..the fuckers fucking smirk. Like the criminal cocknocker has pulled a fast one & got away with it smirk.
Sound of Bush’s voice = Sound of fingernails on chalkboard = Sound of Sarah Palin’s voice
Now see here, you lot. You’re lampooning a former president! How would you like it if the loyal opposition criticized Mr. Obama? I bet you feel pretty small. Harrumph.
Good God, he still can’t read….
[re=597384]Katydid[/re]: like!
I stumble to the toilet this wonderful saturday morning and after a wonderful poopy release… I’m treated so putridly to a vid of Junior lizard creature screeching on about electrocuting women in burkras, methodist voices, the promise land of tumbleweed, & world peace.
Was there no other way to ruin my hard earned drunk, Wonk masochists?
[re=597413]ElRaton[/re]: It’s kinda like you sucked the poop right back up into your body, in’t it?
[re=597415]Katydid[/re]: Indeed.
[re=597392]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Top shelf on the left is the AA Big Book. Not sure about the rest.
[re=597392]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I think I see the #1 bestseller, “My Daddy Bought Me A Baseball Team and All I Got Was $15 Mil and the Presidency, Heh Heh” but I can’t be sure.
Is this the “gruesome video footage” being advertised on the left hand side of the page lately?
How long before he crashes/bombs Facebook?
I think RedState has hi-jacked the YouTube comments.
George W. Bush is no Teabagger, as he here is observed reading from a teleprompter. Teabaggers do not read, they speak, oftentimes from the heart.
Teabaggers engage you with their eyes, instead of shifting their gaze forty-five degrees in one direction, and then forty-five degrees in the other direction, or maintaining a zero-angle as George is seen here doing, angles corresponding to the Geometry of reading-screens. When addressing groups of Individuals, the angle of the Teabaggers’ focus is thus completely unpredictable with one exception.
This exception is the case of an exceptional female, present in the group of Individuals. These creatures naturally draw the attention of the Teabagger.
Cracker’s decomposing fast, and I’m, frankly, surprised to feel such joy at the spectacle. In the absence of any legal form of justice, I guess this is all the satisfaction we’re going to get (it’s Reagan Dementia Theater all over again). It can’t be easy having most of the sentient beings on the planet feeling such enmity towards you. Perhaps this is the true cost of wreaking the sheer amount of havoc, hatred, and hell this sociopath wrought.
Let us not forget: 62 million voting Americans still owe the world a humble apology, for subjecting all of us to four additional years of this unconscionable disaster.
Thank you Wonkette, for reminding me to appreciate Obama, and that I still want to punch this fucking fuck in the throat.
Ken, this was a really Bush-league post for a Saturday morn. Why do you hate us so?
[re=597370]imbeccable[/re]: With all that CGI can do it’s interesting they chose to green-screen him into a library. Finally learned their lesson after “Mission Accomplished”?
and boy is he lookin’ old!
LEAVE MUSHMOUTH ALONE!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMADJcimnds&feature=related
Way too soon to watch this asshole. Come get me when he gives a presser explaining he wasn’t trying to blow that guy in the bathoom of the W Presidentin’ Liebary, he was kneeling down lookin’ for his keys.
For a guy who spent his entire presidency goofing off in the gym and biking and jogging in between secret service agents and compulsively exercising to keep his mind off of the bottle, he sure does look like shit.
If there is a spaghetti monster in the sky, this sorry fuck will be Les Grossman’s upcoming nemesis.
No shoe? Disappointed!
[re=597392]RoscoePColtraine[/re]:
They’re not books. They’re box sets of children’s audio books.
That bat faced cocksucker looks like he’s recovering from a hangover.
[re=597381]slappypaddy[/re]: “why has this man not been haled before the international criminal court?”
It’s proof that the U.S. is a christian nation. Our political leaders are forgiven no matter what crimes they’ve committed.
[re=597440]Gorillionaire[/re]: “he sure does look like shit.”
He hit the skids when Condie dumped him because he was no longer able to get a semi-hardon by torturing A-rab boys.
Ugh, this brings back the 1999-2000 swoon of the boys on the press bus, “he’s comfortable in his own skin.” If anyone would care to remove his skin and see if he’s still comfortable, I for one am all for it.
I can’t believe I voted for him, in Florida no less. My bag of salted rat dicks runneth over…
[re=597391]BigWhiteCloud[/re]: That painting of chairs is the portal into John Malkovich’s brain.
Rooty-toot-toot, rooty-toot-toot,
We are the boys of the Institute.
We don’t smoke and we don’t chew,
And we don’t go with girls that do.
[re=597458]chascates[/re]: Dubya & his minions have been institutionalized? O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!
[re=597429]Brick Oven Bill[/re]: Sweet, sweet lord! I’d almost forgot about teleprompters. Gah, fuck, you know what man, I have a raging irrational hatred of teleprompters and the black socialist prsdnt-bots that use them too!
RAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!
[re=597367]SayItWithWookies[/re]: ha wookies. that about sums it up. Who knew we would have to endure a female Bush that shot out even scarier word salad. ?
It’s a mad mad mad motherfuckin world my friend.
He looks like he’s aged 20 years since he left the White House. How is his life as an ex-president more strenuous than his life in the Oval Office? Oh right, because he can’t just let Dick Cheney make all the decisions anymore.
[re=597399]Iam[/re]: It’s called “immanentizing the eschaton.” That way we can all live our own personal version of the Left Behind series, with the muslin usurper-in-chief Obamaer as Nicolae Carpathia.
perhaps i can apply for a position at this institute of which he speaks, since the job market this last three years has been a dire mess.
ohh, wonkette grammar fail :-p
I thought George Bush invented the intertubes.
This is how Ken keeps us from going ape poo over the weekend, by leaving us with feeble minded Bush aging rapidly and talking nonsense.
Oh, Bush is stupid, sure. He is talking about how great he is, sure. This is a reminder of contrast, by the way. Does our current president spend most of his time before the cameras telling us how great he, personally is? how bad, personally, all who question him are? No, he doesn’t, and that’s what’s different. (In policy, the differences are getting harder to find.)
However, what can we say? “Hope that business-success motivational speaking gig works out, because that keeps your mindless but ennervated ass away from your mindless but hyperactive Vandal followers?”
[re=597397]BigWhiteCloud[/re]: The droid you refer to is “Books by the YARD.”
It is a business that sells used books as decorating promps.
It’s located in Dallas, Texas.
It’s especially poignant to know that was the best take.
I am surprised at how visceral my hatred of this guy is.
He is a sorry sack of shit and I agree that America owes the world a big fucking apology for the pain we allowed him to inflict for 8 years.
[re=597475]proudgrampa[/re]: The damn Supreme Court owes the world an apology and I can’t wait to see what havoc it has to apologize for w/ their decision to make corporations people and who the hell knows what poor behaviour that will encourage.
I concur w/ the lamestream green screen backdrop. It sucks.
[re=597392]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: I never knew that “My Pet Goat” came in so many editions.
Facepalm, I think.
It’s hard to believe that everyone the gop has available to run for President in 2012 is less qualified that rat bastard. Truly, they are the party of the future!
Well, that was a satisfying two days hate.
[re=597483]bago[/re]:
Just the thing I needed to get up for the World Cup game against England. Hooligism ensues!
Those aren’t books. Those are the “missing” E-mails his administration refused to turn over to Congressional investigators. Somebody call Henry Waxman and Bernie Sanders.
[re=597361]bago[/re]: That’s a lot a bourbon in hollowed out books.
[re=597385]Rachel Ray Jihad[/re]: Marshall “Just Do It” Applewhite.
Why is GW not in South Africa supporting Team USA USA USA? The England v USA would have been the perfect venue for a repeat performance of W druk, holding a small American flag upside down like he did somewhere else at some venue when he was in office. The game ended in a 1-1 tie, but England hicked ass!
For someone far more interested in the pomp, perks and preaching part of the presidency it must be one hell of a slide down when they all go away (excepting the library built by those he enriched and the eternal Secret Service detail he can abuse for giggles, and the pension). Carter found relevance in social issues, Clinton found relevance as an ambassador-at-large, hell, 41 even found some relevance. You can almost sense he knows he’s damaged goods for all eternity. If I didn’t posess a genuine hatred of him, truly visceral, I would almost feel sorry for him. Cheney on the other hand, and his spawn, are a different matter.
George’s Books: how do we know they are real books? Haven’t you ever seen scrap paper in hard covers, used to decorate a room?
[re=597397]BigWhiteCloud[/re]: They don’t even have to be real books. I’ve seen old newspapers cut into the right size and bound in impressive looking covers.
Of course, I’m sure you can buy complete sets of the works of Stalin, Ceaucescu, Janos Kadar, etc., real cheap, in eastern Europe or China.
[re=597399]Iam[/re]: You didn’t know this? I thought it was obvious from the beginning.
Jerge W. Bush Welcomes Y’all To his’n new dee-vice, daa Internets as soon as he figgers out how to put the shrimp on the Austrian barbie.
[re=597375]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Thanks for getting my wife all hot and bothered. Now I’m going to have to sex her. Think before you type, especially if you’re going to describe masochistic fantasies. Ugh. Wasting a perfect drunk Saturday evening.
[re=597508]zhubajie[/re]: Books by the Yard is actually quite real.
It is an affront to all of us, of course. It is a validation of the phillistine, triumph of the vulgarian, enabling of the gleeful morons out there who fancy themselves “Realtors” and “interior designers.” They sell the books …
based on the color of the spine. (Trellis, from At Swim-Two-Birds, would love it, if anyone gets that reference.)
That said, I have friends who’ve said that they’ve gotten first editions and rare books for $0.10 that way. The store does not look at what they’re selling — not genre, not edition, not author, not anything but decorating potential.
(Keeping the Flann O’Brien reference, as Myles na gCopaleen he proposed a book handling service that would come in to rich peoples’ homes and make the books look like they’d been read.)
(I am stunned, STUNNED, that after all these comments, I am the first one to come up with the following.)
“Speaking of ‘Boob Jobs.’”
(STUNNED.)
[re=597563]Geogre[/re]: “(Keeping the Flann O’Brien reference, as Myles na gCopaleen . . . .”
Flann O’BRIEN?!?!?!?
Did you hear that they are making a movie of “At Swim Two Birds”?!?
Starring, among others, Colin Farrell and Brendan Gleason?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1401097/
(For all you philistines: Possibly the funniest book written in the English (bah!) language.)
“A pint of plain is your only man!”
::::Puking two pints of bitter on Geogre::::
Of course these books were green-screened.
It is the world’s worst-kept sectret that the books from all the libraries in the southeastern US have been confiscated by the government. Pres. Obama himself has been feeding all that fancy learnin’ material into industrial shredders and then stuffing that into oil booms, for obvious reasons.
What, you think he’s been doing *nothing* for 50+ days?
Every time I see the Crawford Ranch from space, i.e., google earth, I say to myself “what in god’s name is going on in there?” Now I know.
This is the person “people” voted for because they wanted to have a beer with him? I’m glad to see he’s as creepy as ever. God that fucker is creepy – look at those beady eyes, the lack of focus, the speech patterns – total creepenstein.
Man, that was a “Dry” reading. Bush looks like he’s off the potus illuminati pep pills now.
[re=597561]natoslug[/re]: Oh, you’re welcome — I’m so glad I could help bring that about. And it’s not like there’s anything on tv tonight anyway.
Fuckwad’s slurring/lisping just like my cousin who’s missing a tooth (or two).
[re=597567]Neilist[/re]: Love you lots, (but not your guns) N!! but that was so obvious, no one commented it..
And Ken, um, hi. Hard to hold the fort down w/just interns, yes?mSorry @ the “keys left on the table by Dad” comment.. But you DID say you and your overlords wanted the weekend to be an “open thread” —- yes?
Sorry, I’m still a little shaken by the fact that Martha Raddatz is married to Ben Bradlee’s son. ……… no sure WHAT to think here…
I …. never mind.
[re=597419]progressiveinga[/re]: He’s joined AA? That’s news.
[re=597568]Neilist[/re]: “P-I-L-E-S, that’s the boyo you want to give the miss to.”
A movie of it cannot be done. I don’t care what Spike Jonze says. I suppose they could in the way that they did “Tristram Shandy” — by re-enacting the book without actually doing the book.
At Swim-Two-Birds is high larious, and it’s amazing, but don’t skimp on The Best of Myles.
For those of you about to go to an unreliable site to look up the information, Flann O’Brien was actually Brian O’Nolan, who was really Brian Nolan, who used also the name Myles na gCopaleen when writing a newspaper column. One great comic novel, one good comic novel, one good non-comic novel.
Joonyer on video? Nah gah do it.
[re=597370]imbeccable[/re]: Totally green screened, but professionally done. If Obama had done as good a job of suppressing spill, the world would be in better shape.
[re=597695]Mr Blifil[/re]: I must respectfully disagree. That was some of the shittiest video work ever of a high-level politician since Stephan Dion (leader of the Canadian Opposition) addressed the nation in late 2008 and hastened his own downfall. Ok, maybe also better than McCain against the lime green background during the last election.
But seriously, this video sucked so hard technically, especially the horrible grey pallor of W’s skin compared to the contrasty background. And the green screening was very amateurish. I couldn’t bear listening to him speak for more than about 3 seconds, so I have no comment on the content of whatever the hell he wanted to talk about.
Also: TELEPROMTERZ!!!!
I gotta second the “amateurish.” I guess they had to Adobe those books in.
We just had to do an “intervention” type thing for my alcoholic sibling, who sounded exactly like this after drinking half a bottle of mouthwash.
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