One of the greatest ideas the Web honchos for Fox News ever had was to basically rip off the classic Fark PhotoShop contest and just have their mouth-breathing readership create terribly hacked together visual insanity about whatever vaguely newsworthy topic they can think of, under the punny label “Photo Op-inion.” Today’s topic was “World Cup Dream Teams,” and since you all seem to have so many opinions about the intersection between soccer and conservatives, we though we’d share some of them with you. Like that peace symbol business to the right! Is that supposed to be pro- or anti-World Cup? You know how Fox News readers feel about hippie peaceniks! More horror, after the jump.
Look, here are all the world leaders’ faces, grotesquely bit-mapped onto the heads of American soccer players! Do you think that this is a profound bit of political commentary, implying that, despite our political differences, we all ought to be on “one team” (Earth)? Or is the implication that political contention is a show for the masses, and all the leaders just take their orders from their “coach,” Bill Clinton, president of the Bilderberg Group?
This seems more like Fox’s speed, actually. Ha ha, all soccer players are blacks, or gays, or comedians (i.e., Jews), coached by Rod Blagojevich, for some reason.
Whoops! The homoerotic fantasy images were meant to go on the “special” pay-only site. Sorry for any sexual confusion you might have felt while viewing this.
Then the World Cup caused the entire globe to grow a giant plastic vagina, because it is a game for women, the end. (Not really, there are like ten more terrible pictures, click the clicky if you hate yourself as much as we do.) [Fox]
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The guy in green in the pictures is the goalkeeper, not the coach. So, they’re saying that Clinton and Blago are a “safe pair of hands”? Maybe.
Cue angry “Fark got it from /b/, who got it from Usenet” nerd rant.
The “300″ pic looks like some nightmarish version of “Riverdance”…not that the actual “Riverdance” isn’t a nightmare already..
That “giant plastic vagina” is a groin protector cup.
(That’s why it’s a “Cup.” Get it? Huh?
Gesh, didn’t any of you pussies play any contact sports?
My only questions are:
(1) What’s with the fission device core sphere with the explosive prisms? I thought this was a peaceful event.
(2) Why didn’t they include a picture of Michelle “Twa Chang Kane” Bachmann getting hit in the face? (“Sock Her”? Huh? Get it? “Soc-cor”? Get it?)
[re=596985]Lazy Media[/re]: Well they did, so there!
Bush gets included because they’ve always hated Bush, ever since we’ve been at war with Eastasia.
Where’s Sn00ki?
Maybe we should just be happy Fox is recognizing something is happening elsewhere in the world that doesn’t concern missing white girls or angry Muslims. A first step so to speak.
[re=596982]iwillsavethispatient[/re]: Oh wait, I got it – Clinton takes command of the box.
I figured that plastic vagina thingy was actually a cup, as in a groin protector, since the “world” and “soccer” are covered by the soccer-ball-patterned globe. Either that or it’s a contraption being used to clean up a giant fake oil spill on an alternate earth.
I want to go when it’s Richard Simmons Bobble Head Day.
[re=596994]red sky[/re]: They’re just giving it a spot on the back burner in case a white girl goes missing. That way they can be on site to blame angry Muslims.
“Soccer” is usually a second tier Pavlovian response buzzword for the droolers, but it periodically moves up to First Tier during a major competition.
A few examples of First Tier words are: U.N., ACORN, ACLU, Islam, Pelosi, Reid, Radical, Environment, Unions, Socialism, big ones like that.
A Conservative talk show host only has to mention a few of these words, without context or without a lead in. To get the droolers foaming at the mouth. When there’s nothing much going on in the news, A radio host can sprinkle a few of the words in during the show and the 3 hours are filled.
No, no!
The Earth is a soccer ball, and it’s hitting the outer space player in the “cup.”
In other words, the cosmos is writhing in pain, clutching its testicles, because the Earth hit it “there,” and the “World Cup” was supposed to cushion the blow.
So someone, somewhere, with an IQ above freezing finds these things amusing? Oh, Fox News viewers. Never mind.
click the clicky if you hate yourself as much as we do
Did you mean hate ourselves as much as you hate yourself or hate ourselves as much as you hate us?
[re=596988]Neilist[/re]: ” (2) “Why didn’t they include a picture of Michelle “Twa Chang Kane” Bachmann getting hit in the face?”
Will you be here all week?
Should I try the Veil?
What are your thoughts on tipping the waitress?
[re=596993]Jim89048[/re]: maybe the orange dwarf punching convention?
The wingnutters don’t fool me. They’re making soccer gay in their photoshops because the athletic soccer players get them semi-flaccid and give them funny uncomfortable feelings they haven’t felt since when they were in the Boy Scouts.
I don’t hate myself enough to ever click on a clicky that goes to Fux.
Are these to be our Friday Noon Toons? I certainly feel more curmudgeonly!
Carrot Top is looking more and more like a tranny hooker.
I was curious about the big O2 on the center of the English team’s jersey. It’s much more prominent than any indication of nationality. Thought it must be some interesting cultural reference. No, it’s a big phone company over there. So, it looks like that team is playing for a phone company rather than a country.
[re=597010]Suds McKenzie[/re]: You need to lay off the suds, Suds, its “veal.” If ya don’t know how to spell a word, its safest to avoid it, you could just say “baby cow meat.”
I’m just kiddin’ on ya.
[re=597028]Terry[/re]: Nah, it looks more like the English Premiere League team Arsenal wearing their sponsors logo on their jerseys.
[re=597005]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: Pavlovian response words.
You forgot “diversity.” Remember our friend in Arizona. He was forced to logic out that mural because no one explained it to him, and logic told him that it had to be about “diversity.” “Diversity” is everywhere, you know. It’s trying to get into your room while you sleep. It’s trying to take over your children yet unborn.
Ugh! If you have to keep saying “I don’t see why that’s funny” to something, just stop paying attention. That’s what I say. I shouldn’t have clicked.
[re=597010]Suds McKenzie[/re]: “Two shows nightly! No cover! Tell your friends!”
[re=597031]Prommie[/re]: No, no, he was asking whether he should become a nun (or maybe sleep with one). It was a humorous non-sequitur, right Suds?
[re=597015]freakishlystrong[/re]: I don’t hate myself enough to ever click on a clicky that goes to Fux.
Nor will I give them the benefit of aquiring a page view from me.
All the world is football shaped
It’s just for me to kick in space.
Since these are geriatric Fox viewers, it’s an MS Paint photo contest.
not since ‘krull’ have we been witness to such reality-defying special e-fex.
[re=597028]Terry[/re]: [re=597040]Escape Goat Nation[/re]: O2 sponsor the England Rugby team – that poster must have been stolen from the Rugby World Cup or something…
Any photoshop contests outside of Somethingawful or Worth1000 should be buried in the vaults of 4chan and forgotten forever.
[re=597010]Suds McKenzie[/re]: Waitress-tipping is like cow-tipping, but for urbanites.
[re=597009]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]:
I wondered that too. Why does Wonkette hate Wonkette commenters?
I’m even willing to watch soccer just to prove what a god-hating, socialist, demon-sheep fucking libtard I am. What more does teh Wonkette want from me?!
[re=597069]ph7[/re]: I thiiink, “It’s just for me to kick its face,” but I only had “English Settlement” on the double LP. Never did get that on the “buy all your records again, sucker, cause now it’s CD” revolution.
If you can’t be political, be a political supporter.
Ooooo. The Soccer Moms are now gonna kick the Hockey Moms asses. Lipstick optional.
I don’t see Brasil! Nor futbol!!! All I see is that big fuckin eyeball from that fucking depressing Picasso painting. Shit! What’s in this strawberry Smirnoff Ice?
Re “300″, real Spartans did NOT wear underpants. Persians wore pants! Ancient Greeks went into battle with their manhood on display.
The real Spartans were all extremely gay, too. Supposedly they fought harder in order not look wimpy to their lovers!
Not to mention pioneering totalitarian government, secret police, assassinations of helots who were getting too prosperous, etc., etc.
[re=597398]zhubajie[/re]: When the Spartans took wives (which they only did after a decade in the military, btw), they would shave their heads (the womens’, that is), dress them up in men’s clothes, and then do them face-down. THIS IS A TRUE FACT.
Scholars call it a “bizarre courtship ritual”, but actually, they basically didn’t know what they were supposed to do with ladies.
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