Better than getting Manhattan for $24 in trinkets

Congressional Hockey Bet Resolved Without Injury

Gang truce.Now here’s a “Twitpicture” for the history books: Congressman Dan Lipinski (D-Chicago Thugs), at left, receiving a bag of Philadelphia cheese steaks from serial sports bettor Rep. Robert Brady (D-Philly Brawlers), after the Blackhawks beat the Flyers to win the Stanley Cup the other night. The sandwiches were part of a bet that–because his team lost, per usual–also required Brady to wear a Blackhawks jersey, for cruelty and humiliation purposes. What is Brady doing with his nose?

Maybe he is flashing some sort of secret gang symbol? Or perhaps he’s about to pinch his nose shut? Those sandwiches (if there are indeed sandwiches in that bag–maybe there’s just a gift certificate in there?) must have been a bit worse for wear by the time this photo was taken, unless Brady had them imported to Washington via some fancy special way. He did have to hunt down a Blackhawks jersey–which he tweeted all about because Steny Hoyer probably forced him to, for the Democrats’ sad new-media Olympics.

Lipinski doesn’t have a Facebook or Twitter yet, because he’s a weird DINO and loner. But if the Flyers had won, he would’ve had to wear their jersey and give Brady two Chicago-style pizzas plus a Blagojevich-approved “football” hairbrush.

Fun fact: Your writer lives in Blackhawks City but remains loyal to the Pittsburgh Penguins and therefore did not give a fuck about who won this year’s sticky-pucky battle show. [TheHill.com]

About the author

Lauri works at the Chicago Reader, and also writes and makes art-pictures for Wonkette. Her creative projects—including a now-defunct blog about finding clothing in the trash and wearing it, and an exhibition of portraits of all 50 Chicago aldermen made by 50 different artists—have been featured by NBC's Today Show, the New York Times, Chicago Tribune, BUST Magazine, and other media outlets. She's written things for the Austin Chronicle, Texas Observer, In Pittsburgh Weekly, The Black Table, and other places, and taken photos for various nonprofits, bands, and publications. (She also has a law degree, for some reason.)

View all articles by Lauri Apple
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31 comments

  1. Terry

    I hope they didn’t actually bring those sandwiches down from Philly. All they had to do was sent an intern over to any of the many fine Jerry’s Sub shops around the DC area. Jerry’s makes a darn fine cheesesteak.

  2. Doglessliberal

    [re=596842]Oblios Cap[/re]: and either way, they have cooled down, so the grease has congealed and the fried onions (if they have them) are slimy. So Brady is laughing now.

  3. JMP

    I’m surprised Brady had such a hard time finding the jersey; red sports jerseys with logos that are racist again Native Americans are very common down in Washington.

  4. harry palmer

    He’s wiping a tear because after Lipinski eats those sandwiches, he’ll be as dumpy as Brady, and it won’t be the same gawking at him in the Congressional showers.

  5. Ruhe

    In that jersey the pudgy congressman looks like a gray haired toddler so naturally he’s holding his nose ’cause he tooted.

  6. Cape Clod

    Philly cheesesteak sandwiches are a fucking valuable thing. You don’t just give them away.

  7. SayItWithWookies

    Lotsa people blame the hippies, but in fact the world’s been f*cked up ever since professional hockey has been played in June. June, people! Last time I checked, this was still the northern hemisphere.

  8. Oblios Cap

    [re=596852]Doglessliberal[/re]:

    He’ll just give to the homeless shelter. 10 sandwiches will go a long way in DC.

  9. Vulpes82

    [re=596874]SayItWithWookies[/re]: And what the hell is with the teams in TAMPA and ARIZONA and such?!? Hockey should only be played where there is at least the chance of a pond freezing over.

  10. Katydid

    Congressman Dan Lipinski (D-Chicago Thugs)

    Ugh, I met a couple of Repubs the other day, and the guy, who was actually a really nice guy, about 72, told me with a straight face that what he was afraid about Obama turned out to be true. I got a bad feeling and with dread, asked him what he meant. He said, “He brought Chicago-style politics to the White House.” I didn’t ask if he watched Fox, I knew right then that he did.

  11. Lascauxcaveman

    Believe it or not “bettor” would be the better word in reference to Robert Brady’s sports gambling habits, Lauri.

  12. weejee

    If your idea of sports if going back and forth and putting things in nets, then hockey is the game. Ya go the the charity stripe if someone checks you in roundball, and in soccer you get no sticks. No sticks!!! If you had sticks, then it’s field hockey.

    Why in the hell would Lipinski be given’ pizza if the Flyers won. He’s a Pole, Chicago has the largest Polish population outside of Warsaw, even more than Popey’s Krakow. He shoulda bet a Polish or 3 from Maxwell St. Express, not fucking pizza.

  13. JMP

    [re=596896]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: It’s fitting in light of his major support of the would-be casinos here in Philly, in the struggle that has stretched on and on, forever.

  14. Lazy Media

    What, no Pat’s vs. Geno’s flame war yet? Everybody must be leaving work early because it’s Friday.

  15. Gratuitous World

    [re=596893]Katydid[/re]: Or he just reads a lot of John Kass columns. douchebag. you too, lipinski.

  16. JMP

    Actually, maybe instead of cheesesteaks Brady should have brought the 30 grams or less of pot that became semi-legal in Philly last Tuesday.

    [re=596928]Lazy Media[/re]: That’s easy; since the owner of Geno’s proved to be a flaming racist, libtards like us around here avoid the place.

  17. Suds McKenzie

    Thats adorable, … politicians should Really do this type of thing more often.

    So, the “Worlds Coop” is over already ???

  18. GOPCrusher

    [re=596882]Vulpes82[/re]: That’s the REAL problem and explains why hockey lasts until June. In 61 the Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup in the middle of April. All hockey teams south of the Mason/Dixon Line and west of the Missouri River need to go away immediately. And the Columbus Blue Jackets.

  19. finallyhappy

    I know the media always makes it Pats vs Genos but whenever I am home in Philly, people say neither of those places makes the best. The best changes from year to year- one year it was Lorenzo’s near the Italian Market. And yeah- how gross are they- cold, congealed- if they came in a paper bag from Philly.

    And is it true that the place on H street actually gets bread from Sarcones every day for their hoagies?

  20. zhubajie

    [re=596893]Katydid[/re]: Would that the Congressional Dems were as disciplined as the Chicago Dems!

  21. zhubajie

    ‘He said, “He brought Chicago-style politics to the White House.” ‘

    Actually, the Bushies had the true Chicago politics. Happily they didn’t install themselves on the country forever.

  22. ElRaton

    He’s motioning: Ugh!! Cheese whiz on a steak sandwich. Is there no real cheese in Philly?

    My condolences.

Comments are closed.