Congressional Hockey Bet Resolved Without Injury

by Lauri Apple

Gang truce.Now here’s a “Twitpicture” for the history books: Congressman Dan Lipinski (D-Chicago Thugs), at left, receiving a bag of Philadelphia cheese steaks from serial sports bettor Rep. Robert Brady (D-Philly Brawlers), after the Blackhawks beat the Flyers to win the Stanley Cup the other night. The sandwiches were part of a bet that–because his team lost, per usual–also required Brady to wear a Blackhawks jersey, for cruelty and humiliation purposes. What is Brady doing with his nose?

Maybe he is flashing some sort of secret gang symbol? Or perhaps he’s about to pinch his nose shut? Those sandwiches (if there are indeed sandwiches in that bag–maybe there’s just a gift certificate in there?) must have been a bit worse for wear by the time this photo was taken, unless Brady had them imported to Washington via some fancy special way. He did have to hunt down a Blackhawks jersey–which he tweeted all about because Steny Hoyer probably forced him to, for the Democrats’ sad new-media Olympics.

Lipinski doesn’t have a Facebook or Twitter yet, because he’s a weird DINO and loner. But if the Flyers had won, he would’ve had to wear their jersey and give Brady two Chicago-style pizzas plus a Blagojevich-approved “football” hairbrush.

Fun fact: Your writer lives in Blackhawks City but remains loyal to the Pittsburgh Penguins and therefore did not give a fuck about who won this year’s sticky-pucky battle show. []

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Oblios Cap June 11, 2010 at 11:18 am

Are they real Philly cheesesteak sandwichs, or the cheap imitation kind?

Terry June 11, 2010 at 11:25 am

I hope they didn’t actually bring those sandwiches down from Philly. All they had to do was sent an intern over to any of the many fine Jerry’s Sub shops around the DC area. Jerry’s makes a darn fine cheesesteak.

Doglessliberal June 11, 2010 at 11:25 am

[re=596842]Oblios Cap[/re]: and either way, they have cooled down, so the grease has congealed and the fried onions (if they have them) are slimy. So Brady is laughing now.

Doglessliberal June 11, 2010 at 11:26 am

[re=596851]Terry[/re]: uses the wrong bread.

Katydid June 11, 2010 at 11:26 am


JMP June 11, 2010 at 11:27 am

I’m surprised Brady had such a hard time finding the jersey; red sports jerseys with logos that are racist again Native Americans are very common down in Washington.

harry palmer June 11, 2010 at 11:31 am

He’s wiping a tear because after Lipinski eats those sandwiches, he’ll be as dumpy as Brady, and it won’t be the same gawking at him in the Congressional showers.

Ruhe June 11, 2010 at 11:36 am

In that jersey the pudgy congressman looks like a gray haired toddler so naturally he’s holding his nose ’cause he tooted.

Cape Clod June 11, 2010 at 11:36 am

Philly cheesesteak sandwiches are a fucking valuable thing. You don’t just give them away.

SayItWithWookies June 11, 2010 at 11:38 am

Lotsa people blame the hippies, but in fact the world’s been f*cked up ever since professional hockey has been played in June. June, people! Last time I checked, this was still the northern hemisphere.

Oblios Cap June 11, 2010 at 11:38 am


He’ll just give to the homeless shelter. 10 sandwiches will go a long way in DC.

Vulpes82 June 11, 2010 at 11:42 am

[re=596874]SayItWithWookies[/re]: And what the hell is with the teams in TAMPA and ARIZONA and such?!? Hockey should only be played where there is at least the chance of a pond freezing over.

Doglessliberal June 11, 2010 at 11:49 am

[re=596875]Oblios Cap[/re]: True. That is about 30,000 calories.

Katydid June 11, 2010 at 11:50 am

Congressman Dan Lipinski (D-Chicago Thugs)

Ugh, I met a couple of Repubs the other day, and the guy, who was actually a really nice guy, about 72, told me with a straight face that what he was afraid about Obama turned out to be true. I got a bad feeling and with dread, asked him what he meant. He said, “He brought Chicago-style politics to the White House.” I didn’t ask if he watched Fox, I knew right then that he did.

Lascauxcaveman June 11, 2010 at 11:52 am

Believe it or not “bettor” would be the better word in reference to Robert Brady’s sports gambling habits, Lauri.

weejee June 11, 2010 at 11:59 am

If your idea of sports if going back and forth and putting things in nets, then hockey is the game. Ya go the the charity stripe if someone checks you in roundball, and in soccer you get no sticks. No sticks!!! If you had sticks, then it’s field hockey.

Why in the hell would Lipinski be given’ pizza if the Flyers won. He’s a Pole, Chicago has the largest Polish population outside of Warsaw, even more than Popey’s Krakow. He shoulda bet a Polish or 3 from Maxwell St. Express, not fucking pizza.

JMP June 11, 2010 at 12:04 pm

[re=596896]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: It’s fitting in light of his major support of the would-be casinos here in Philly, in the struggle that has stretched on and on, forever.

Lazy Media June 11, 2010 at 12:15 pm

What, no Pat’s vs. Geno’s flame war yet? Everybody must be leaving work early because it’s Friday.

Godot June 11, 2010 at 12:22 pm

Pittsburgh Penguins what an awful team.

Blueshirts forever!

pondscum June 11, 2010 at 12:25 pm

[re=596928]Lazy Media[/re]: They are all at the Blackhawk’s ticker tape parade.

Gratuitous World June 11, 2010 at 12:30 pm

[re=596893]Katydid[/re]: Or he just reads a lot of John Kass columns. douchebag. you too, lipinski.

JMP June 11, 2010 at 12:34 pm

Actually, maybe instead of cheesesteaks Brady should have brought the 30 grams or less of pot that became semi-legal in Philly last Tuesday.

[re=596928]Lazy Media[/re]: That’s easy; since the owner of Geno’s proved to be a flaming racist, libtards like us around here avoid the place.

Doglessliberal June 11, 2010 at 12:43 pm

[re=596956]JMP[/re]: A racist!? In South Philly?? Holy crap!

mardam422 June 11, 2010 at 12:56 pm

Can’t take the ‘Burgh out of the girl, eh Lauri?

mardam422 June 11, 2010 at 1:00 pm

[re=596942]Godot[/re]: Forever out of the playoffs

Suds McKenzie June 11, 2010 at 1:10 pm

Thats adorable, … politicians should Really do this type of thing more often.

So, the “Worlds Coop” is over already ???

GOPCrusher June 11, 2010 at 1:28 pm

[re=596882]Vulpes82[/re]: That’s the REAL problem and explains why hockey lasts until June. In 61 the Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup in the middle of April. All hockey teams south of the Mason/Dixon Line and west of the Missouri River need to go away immediately. And the Columbus Blue Jackets.

finallyhappy June 11, 2010 at 2:58 pm

I know the media always makes it Pats vs Genos but whenever I am home in Philly, people say neither of those places makes the best. The best changes from year to year- one year it was Lorenzo’s near the Italian Market. And yeah- how gross are they- cold, congealed- if they came in a paper bag from Philly.

And is it true that the place on H street actually gets bread from Sarcones every day for their hoagies?

zhubajie June 11, 2010 at 8:17 pm

[re=596893]Katydid[/re]: Would that the Congressional Dems were as disciplined as the Chicago Dems!

zhubajie June 11, 2010 at 10:51 pm

‘He said, “He brought Chicago-style politics to the White House.” ‘

Actually, the Bushies had the true Chicago politics. Happily they didn’t install themselves on the country forever.

ElRaton June 12, 2010 at 9:21 am

He’s motioning: Ugh!! Cheese whiz on a steak sandwich. Is there no real cheese in Philly?

My condolences.

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