LIFE BEGINS AT 50  5:31 pm June 10, 2010

Average Republican ‘Young Gun’ Candidate Is 50

by Ken Layne

Speed bumps.Youths is our future! And that’s why the Republicans are chasing the elusive, nonexistent “youth vote” with a hot ‘n sexy bunch of youngling candidates with an average age of, uh, 49.6 years old. Why can’t Republicans do anything right, ever? Sure, sure, “to be fair” you are not necessarily old & decrepit at 50 years — Barack Obama will turn 50 next year, and he looks better than 98.7% of Americans when they’re 21. But this is because he’s fit and handsome and has some self respect, not because of his age. The Republican “youth candidates,” predictably, look like sleazy old used-car salesman from the 1980s. (This is called “The Reagan Mystique.”)

But that’s not the most disturbing part about this article from Tina Brown’s Loathsome Beast Publication. “Most disturbing part” goes to this section about a “15-year-old conservative pundit and author”:

Jonathan Krohn, the 15-year-old conservative pundit and author, said that the Republicans are wise to stick with guns that have been firing for a while.

“The Republican Party is trying to make sure that when they get young guns, they don’t get naïve guns. They want to try to stay with guys who have been in the game for a while,” Krohn said. Still, even Krohn — one of conservatism’s freshest faces — had a word of caution for his party’s elders.

“The Republican Party has done a horrible job for decades of reaching out to young people,” Krohn said. “It really has been the party of old white men. It is not what we want to be, and it is not what we will be in the future.”

It is not what we will be in the future, the child lisped, just before he fell right through his laptop screen and emerged in a mysterious wonderland where ADOLESCENT BOYS ARE SEX-CRAZED HORMONE MACHINES CHASING BOOZE AND TAIL AND THEN BLOWING SHIT UP WITH FIREWORKS.

Ugh, arrest this twerp’s parents for Child Abuse, now. Drop him off at a whorehouse on the outskirts of Prague with a credit card and a sack of antibiotics. [Daily Beast]

 
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{ 112 comments }

Troubledog June 10, 2010 at 5:35 pm

Kids named after chronic intestinal disorders don’t have IRL friends.

Potater June 10, 2010 at 5:36 pm

All in favor of The Affordable Logan’s Run Administration Act, say aye.

JMP June 10, 2010 at 5:39 pm

I like that the “new generation of conservative leaders” includes a former Congressman running for his old seat. But hopefully, the program will do just as well as it did in 2008, and most of these Young Guns will be going down, in a blaze of glory.

ManchuCandidate June 10, 2010 at 5:39 pm

Life is cruel for the GOPer “yout” wing. Young enough to suffer impotence, but not old enough for the Denny’s Blue Plate Special.

BTW screw Johnny Crone. I’d rather it be me that gets dropped off in front of a Czech whorehouse with someone’s credit card (Tony Hayward’s?) and a sack of antibiotics.

Lascauxcaveman June 10, 2010 at 5:42 pm

Seriously, I’d punch that kid in throat if only I didn’t remember what a smarmy little son-of-conservative Republican parents I was at age 15.

Five years from now, he’ll be at college, bagging bisexual hippie chicks, smoking grass and reading Marx, all at the same time.

Neilist June 10, 2010 at 5:43 pm

“Young Republican” = “Bullet Magnet.”

Neilist
Old Republican Division
“Get Off My Lawn!,” Inc.
Another California Corporation Destroyed Demon Sheep

queeraselvis v 2.0 June 10, 2010 at 5:43 pm

Methinks young Mr. Krohn is trying to gently tell Lindsey Graham to quit pestering him for a blowjob. Either that or he’s angling to become one of Zach Wamp’s newest boy toys.

Gorillionaire June 10, 2010 at 5:44 pm

A couple years ago I saw a survey study that stated that the median age for Fox Nooze viewership was 71. That’s older than Rod Stewart, people.

BklynIlluminati June 10, 2010 at 5:44 pm

50 is the new 50

BarackMyWorld June 10, 2010 at 5:45 pm

Jonathon Krohn became interested in politics from years of listening to Bill Bennett’s radio show. In a televised speech A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO (he’s been at this a while), he mentioned that conservatism needed to be based on principles instead of policies, and a lot of people in the 2008 election cycle were using the term “socialism” without understanding what it means.

slappypaddy June 10, 2010 at 5:46 pm

psychicsidekick’s name is jonathan? who’d a-thunk?

loquaciousmusic June 10, 2010 at 5:46 pm

[re=596517]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: Lindsey Graham actually did quit pestering him.

Others didn’t.

give us a bob June 10, 2010 at 5:47 pm

One of the newer Doctor Who episodes features a snotty teenage genius who surreptitiously allies himself with an alien race of arrogant lizard people, thinking he should back the winning horse, however repulsive. I think I see a similarity here somewhere, but can’t put my finger on it.

bakeneko June 10, 2010 at 5:47 pm

Is that someone getting his pocket picked, or leaning back on his cane while getting a hand job?

chascates June 10, 2010 at 5:48 pm

There’s plenty of young blood who could run: Jonah Goldberg, Andrew Breitbart, Kathryn Jean Lopez, Meghan McCain. Bristol Palin can do a column or two.
They just need to think outside the box.

queeraselvis v 2.0 June 10, 2010 at 5:49 pm

[re=596526]loquaciousmusic[/re]: Hahaha! Also, two faces, one bat. Fin.

SayItWithWookies June 10, 2010 at 5:50 pm

That’s just because so many Republican politicians stay younger for longer. Their secret? If you spend the first forty years of your life spending Daddy’s money on booze, cocaine and hookers, then sober up for ten years, you’ll have the callow ignorance of an eighteen-year-old plus a worldview completely untainted by having to deal with actual consequences. Of course that person won’t be qualified to run shoeshine stand, but it’s okay since he’ll surround himself with canny, conniving operatives of long-standing. It’s basically a recipe for peace and prosperity.

iburl June 10, 2010 at 5:50 pm

“It really has been the party of old white men. It is not what we want to be…”
Said the impending old white republican man.

Suds McKenzie June 10, 2010 at 5:52 pm

Its raining Rubio’s.

ManchuCandidate June 10, 2010 at 5:55 pm

[re=596531]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]:
GOPer equivalent of “Two Girls, One Cup”?

watershed June 10, 2010 at 5:56 pm

Get this kid laid already. Good God.

Crank Tango June 10, 2010 at 5:57 pm

needz moar yung boyz

Carrabuda June 10, 2010 at 6:03 pm

[re=596539]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Yup, same reaction to both.

Hedley Lamar June 10, 2010 at 6:04 pm

This is the real world, muchacho, and you are in it. Now shut the fuck up.

weejee June 10, 2010 at 6:10 pm

Well fifty is only halfway to Strom-damnation. Wuz the problem??

Bearbloke June 10, 2010 at 6:12 pm

[re=596520]Gorillionaire[/re]: [re=596516]Neilist[/re]: And just a full of semen?

dex June 10, 2010 at 6:16 pm

you’re only as old as the congressional page you feel up.

Mad Brahms June 10, 2010 at 6:16 pm

[re=596526]loquaciousmusic[/re]: Wow. 15 going on 10, apparently. Check back in with him in a few weeks to see if his voice / testicles dropped. Of course he’s not chasing the pussy / booze / fireworks – he looks like he should be in an ad for formula.

Red Zeppelin June 10, 2010 at 6:18 pm

I have great respect for nerds. However to be a nerd for GOP politics as opposed to, say baseball stats or LOTR trivia, seems like a waste of a sad adolescence. On the other hand, maybe he is a playa who knows (as I dimly recall) that the easiest girls and the ones who had the most ready access to liquor and drugs were always the kids of businessmen or clergy, not of professors or other types likely to be Democrats.

Oldskool June 10, 2010 at 6:19 pm

That kid is adorable, giving grown ups grown up advice which they promptly ignore. He should see if David Frum needs an intern.

Hemp Dogbane June 10, 2010 at 6:24 pm

Here comes Johnny Yen again
With the liquor and drugs
And the flesh machine
He’s gonna do another striptease
Hey man where’d you get that lotion?

loquaciousmusic June 10, 2010 at 6:24 pm

[re=596555]Mad Brahms[/re]: Perhaps in the Daily Beast‘s next article, young Krohn will tell us how to make a sandwich.

comicbookguy June 10, 2010 at 6:25 pm

If the “young guns” are 50, how old are the cougars?

Zadig June 10, 2010 at 6:27 pm

[re=596515]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Today, we are all (wishing we were) bagging bisexual hippie chicks, smoking grass, and reading Marx.

I, too, was a shit-eating contard Jeebus Goblin back in middle school.

Advocatus_Diaboli June 10, 2010 at 6:29 pm

In my day (the mid 1980s), they proudly called themselves TARDS,
which apparently stood for Teen Age Reagan
douchebags Sychophants, or something like that.

Advocatus_Diaboli June 10, 2010 at 6:34 pm

[re=596568]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: html fucking fail
My point was, the dumb fucks who are now pushing 50 and hating so hard on the man are the same dumb fucks who proudly supported St. Ronnie of No Memory back in the eighties.

Franklin Pierce & Pierce June 10, 2010 at 6:34 pm

Man, if this kid had come along a few years ago, he could have had the chance to intern for Mark Foley and REALLy get to understand conservative values.

Also, I argue that Jim Newell’s rule about “not attacking children” doesn’t apply to Crohn, who is apparently old enough to express an opinion about policy on a national level.

Diamante June 10, 2010 at 6:39 pm

Wonder if this kid has a shrine to Sarah Palin on his dresser.

One Yield Regular June 10, 2010 at 6:40 pm

How depressing for one so young to be so old already. But he seems to fit right in with that crowd, what with his already using language that reflects the core Republican gestalt as being based on anxiety about their “guns” not firing.

Crank Tango June 10, 2010 at 6:48 pm

[re=596575]Diamante[/re]: probably more like the kind of “shrine” you keep underneath your pillow, or at least in a drawer with your lotion and some crusty socks. Pretty much like every other GOPer.

MarSF June 10, 2010 at 6:52 pm

[re=596540]watershed[/re]: First somebody needs to let young Mr. Krohn in on the little secret that freakish conservative Republican teenagers don’t get laid. I’ve seen a photo of this twerp. He will need to pay for it if he wants it to happen.

doloras June 10, 2010 at 6:59 pm

[re=596527]give us a bob[/re]: LOL, the Sontarans aren’t lizard people, you’re thinking of the Silurians.

Joshua Norton June 10, 2010 at 7:02 pm

The Republican Party is trying to make sure that when they get young guns, they don’t get naïve guns.

Apparently 15 year olds have absolutely no sense of irony. He hasn’t been alive long enough to even rise to the level of “naive”.

Needz moar atomic wedgies.

Snarkalicious June 10, 2010 at 7:15 pm

[re=596565]comicbookguy[/re]: Irrelevant. Older women are in the opposite direction of the chase.

WhatTheHeck June 10, 2010 at 7:16 pm

Of course he’ll never grow old. Young republicans hang out with Peter Pan and the Lost Boys, waiting for Sarah Palin to rescue them.

JamesMichaelCurley June 10, 2010 at 7:18 pm

[re=596588]doloras[/re]: The Silurians are back. We in the US haven’t seen that episode yet.

CivicHoliday June 10, 2010 at 7:27 pm

If the GOP continues sending young recruits to bondage themed clubs on the taxpayer’s dime…he may just be right

JoeCool BigPecker June 10, 2010 at 7:37 pm

Sleazy car salesman mystique. Mystique.

Bearbloke June 10, 2010 at 7:38 pm

[re=596565]comicbookguy[/re]: Ask Queen Cougar yourself! She won’t bite, unless you’re into that…

Bearbloke June 10, 2010 at 7:41 pm

[re=596575]Diamante[/re]: No – those Palin-items in his closet are just part of his burgeoning Drag-Queen career Halloween costume…

BarackMyWorld June 10, 2010 at 7:41 pm

[re=596573]Franklin Pierce & Pierce[/re]: I think his rules left with him.

imissopus June 10, 2010 at 7:52 pm

I knew I’d heard this kid’s name before: http://tinyurl.com/2eyo5f7

I seem to recall reading an article on him back in ’08 or ’09 when he was giving a speech at CPAC or something. I figured he’d grow out of this GOP phase when he discovered girls. Still waiting.

loquaciousmusic June 10, 2010 at 7:57 pm

[re=596612]imissopus[/re]: Of course, he might discover girls the same way this guy did. But your point is well taken.

El Pinche June 10, 2010 at 8:34 pm

Your depiction of Obama has hardened my nipples.

All we have to do is wait 10-15 years when the heart attacks start kickin in. Then it’s a permanent communist majority baby

Geogre June 10, 2010 at 8:37 pm

Let’s see:
20 years old in 1980 for “the Reagan Revolution” and a member of College Republicans,
member of the various XXXX Review college newspapers that sprang up after Dartmouth Review….

Yep, young guns for the GOP would be 49-50. They’d be the “new thinkers” brought on board by Lee Atwater, the culture war instigators and the Fallwell “Christians.” In other words, this matches perfectly with what we’ve seen from the ideology and platforms of the mainstream GOP: at best they reiterate Reaganisms as if they were a magic charm against reality.

Dolmance June 10, 2010 at 8:40 pm

I’ve always said that kid’s parents should be charged with child abuse. But even so, he’s probably going to become President some day. The only way to forestall what this little bastard has in store for us all is for his father to drag him kicking and screaming into the nearest church and going exorcist on his evil little monkey ass. And he should carry some pepper spray when all the Rotweilers assigned to keep him safe appear out of nowhere.

I’d open up the antibiotics and replace everything with corn starch.

Geogre June 10, 2010 at 8:43 pm

[re=596612]imissopus[/re]: It’s not unusual for children of that age to either parrot their parents or to take an attractive emotional stance and amplify it to absurdity. Kurt Vonnegut (always with the literary references with me… I don’t do this all the time) said that 14 year olds are the perfect crusaders.

Anyway, what happens to them most often is not even the discovery of girls, because they go into tantrums about girls (“they’re all sluts! they don’t accept my purity! I must find one that believes just as I do!”) because of the inevitable teenage narcissism and testosterone poisoning, but college. It isn’t that colleges are liberal, either. Colleges teach complexity. Complexity is the enemy of zealots of any sort. College makes “liberals” because it makes people who say, “Yeah, but what about….” (Of course that’s not liberal, unless you define “conservative” as total conformity the way Reagan and Fallwell did and Bill Donohue does.)

If a zealot survives college’s complexities with full hard-on intact, then at least he or she is going to be nuanced or a C- student (or a degree from Pepperdine or Liberty or B.J. U.). Either way, the world has fair warning.

Jukesgrrl June 10, 2010 at 8:44 pm

He’ll be giving a nominating speech at the next GOP convention. I’ll put money on it … oh, I forgot, I don’t have money.

give us a bob June 10, 2010 at 8:54 pm

[re=596623]Dolmance[/re]: That or hire Krohn a dominatrix, but neglect to tell him the safe word. The latter seems more humane.

SayItWithWookies June 10, 2010 at 9:03 pm

[re=596612]imissopus[/re]: I remember watching bits of his speech at the time and thinking that he seemed as knowledgeable as many teens but managed to string enough pleasant and stirring generalities together to give that CPAC audience exactly what it wanted: a feeling that the ideology was going to continue for at least another generation. No actual specifics were necessary.
You can go a long way on that, especially when you’re a novelty act. But once he turns twenty-four (or whatever age GOP kids are thought of as no longer children — thirty?) he’ll no longer be the Republicans’ Knut the polar bear cub. He’ll be their all-grown-up Knut who isn’t so adorable and wonders where all that attention went.
I think that second incarnation is pronounced “Newt,” by the way.

JMP June 10, 2010 at 9:08 pm

[re=596595]WhatTheHeck[/re]: They just fantasize about hanging out with the Lost Boys; while Jack Bauer is a hero to many young Republicans, he’s actually a socialist liberal in real life.

TicChiracTac June 10, 2010 at 9:11 pm

I went through that experimental stage as a younger Chirac when I tried being a republican…I got into it, but it just didn’t feel natural.

Radiotherapy June 10, 2010 at 9:12 pm

I always think of Trig as the fresh, young face of the GOP…. His diaper I mean.

ZombieRichardFeynman June 10, 2010 at 9:29 pm

[re=596624]Geogre[/re]: Speaking of young kids as the best crusaders reminds me of Arab slave trader Tippu-Tib telling Henry Morton Stanley that the reason his army was so effective is that it was comprised largely of 12-14 year olds. Utterly fearless and devoted. Sounds like African armies today, for that matter.

Katydid June 10, 2010 at 9:29 pm

Bob Schieffer’s face is priceless in this interview with the little prick from last year. Also priceless are the comments.

He said he became interested in politics when he was 9, as he listened to talk radio and learned what a conservative was, what a liberal was, and what an elitist was. He also said, “from now on I’m going to be known as a political analyst and not just a kid.”

He’s a Bible-thumping parrot. Squawk squawk.

Servo June 10, 2010 at 9:46 pm

A fresh face for the men’s lavatory stalls at the EIB.

Gay as Hell June 10, 2010 at 9:47 pm

“The Republican Party has done a horrible job for decades of reaching out to young people,” Krohn said.

But they’ve done a marvelous job reaching out for young people.

imissopus June 10, 2010 at 10:12 pm

[re=596636]TicChiracTac[/re]: I tried it for one night in college but I was drunk.

the problem child June 10, 2010 at 10:38 pm

[re=596632]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Evidently, more like 40 is their age of majority (or 39 is their age of minority).

zhubajie June 10, 2010 at 10:55 pm

“It really has been the party of old white men. It is not what we want to be…”

It’s turned into the party of religious fanatics and racist cold warriors. It’ll be worse once the religious nuts finally give up hope in the Rapture saving them from their mistakes.

Capitol Hillbilly June 10, 2010 at 11:10 pm

credit card and antibiotics, fine.

but aren’t you forgetting a few things?

for starters, weed, wine and whites ???

zhubajie June 10, 2010 at 11:12 pm

“Drop him off at a whorehouse on the outskirts of Prague with a credit card and a sack of antibiotics.”

Prague? Better Bangkok or Angeles City. Remember the line from “An Officer and a Gentleman”? “Hey. cherry-boy, want to go to school? I’ll teach you a looong time!”

zhubajie June 10, 2010 at 11:13 pm

Probably most Rep(tilian) candidates are sleazy ex-auto salesmen.

Capitol Hillbilly June 10, 2010 at 11:14 pm

[re=596654]Capitol Hillbilly[/re]: obviously i meant weed, whites, and wine – in that exact order …

Bearbloke June 10, 2010 at 11:36 pm

BREAKING NEWS!!!1!:

CANUCKISTAN HAS DECLARED WAR ON PIXIES!!

Peter Kent, Canuckistani Minister of State for Foreign Affairs (Americas), has said “…Canada is at war with the Pixies.”

More to come?….

Bearbloke June 10, 2010 at 11:40 pm

More Breaking news, for Yanks anyway:

The Los Angeles Lakers have lost Game 4 in the Championship Series to the Boston Celtics

Bearbloke June 10, 2010 at 11:44 pm

[re=596662]Bearbloke[/re]: Still looking for confirmation…. will post it when/if I find any…

SayItWithWookies June 10, 2010 at 11:51 pm

[re=596662]Bearbloke[/re]: This will send a chill through metaphorical terrorist circles worldwide. Unless they have no idea that they’re metaphorical terrorist circles, of course.

Actually this would be a great target for an “I am Spartacus” campaign. I’ll start and admit that for 24 hours I terrorized my cat in a long struggle to put Advantage on her. I eventually succeeded and she’s probably forgotten about it already, but it was touch-and-go there for a while.

So there, Canada — that’s the gauntlet I’ve thrown down. Do your worst.

Bearbloke June 10, 2010 at 11:56 pm

[re=596670]SayItWithWookies[/re]:

Advantage?
::checks GoogOracle::

Bio-chemical Warfare!!

YOU FIEND!!!!11!!

SayItWithWookies June 11, 2010 at 12:04 am

[re=596672]Bearbloke[/re]: And I fully intend to do it again. I won’t even mention the operation I had done.

Words June 11, 2010 at 12:06 am

[re=596663]Bearbloke[/re]: YESSSSS!!! Don’t really care @ Celtics so much, but love a competitive race!!

[re=596662]Bearbloke[/re]: Um, pixies? Small potatoes. Let us Irish introduce you to (little people) — we don’t say their real names. They are a fearsome lot!

On the other hand, are they talking @ the band Pixies? I’m confused….

Words June 11, 2010 at 12:08 am

[re=596643]Katydid[/re]: In his favor: his chronicalogical age is higher than the Rep. avg. emotional/mental age.

Bearbloke June 11, 2010 at 12:10 am

[re=596665]Bearbloke[/re]: [re=596675]Words[/re]: Still searching teh Intartoobes for confirmation… perhaps it was the Dwarves that have drawn the Canuckistani Fatwah…

Words June 11, 2010 at 12:16 am

I seem to be a chord off and a half/beat behind in this thread. Sorry.

Story of my life, that is. From deep in my fine wine cup (now empty: “Oiche Mharrh” — all!

Words June 11, 2010 at 12:17 am

[re=596677]Bearbloke[/re]: Dwarves — humph. Don’t hold a candle to the little people who should naught be named!!!

crumpet June 11, 2010 at 12:25 am

That kid is a sex scandal waiting to happen in a few years. And I WILL read about it and say “I told you so!”

Bearbloke June 11, 2010 at 12:38 am

[re=596662]Bearbloke[/re]: Harummmphhh!

It seems the Pixies story was just another red-herring disinfo campaign from the Canuckistani Ministry of Disinformation… just like their insistence that a town called ‘Ottawa’ actually exists…

SayItWithWookies June 11, 2010 at 12:50 am

[re=596686]Bearbloke[/re]: Dammit — I was so hoping for a culture war to ensue and that Celine Dion would get banned from the US forever. And it would’ve worked if it hadn’t been for you meddling kids.

Radiotherapy June 11, 2010 at 12:51 am

[re=596686]Bearbloke[/re]: The Pixies were the real Kim Deal, no doubt, but for total, without a net, dynamics, my money is on Slint.
And…. can the Aussies run the Huns off?

Escape Goat Nation June 11, 2010 at 1:14 am

However, 50 year olds vote.
Disaffected 20 year olds don’t.

BMK June 11, 2010 at 1:28 am

Of the five Republicans who knocked off incumbent Democrats that year, four were designated “Young Guns.”

Like when they baptize you, rent you a boy and designate you “Christian”?

Brick Oven Bill June 11, 2010 at 2:35 am

This is true. The future of the United States of America is in the hands of those mall-dwellers with tattoos and pants hanging off their asses.

These are the men of destiny as there are many of them.

Smoke Filled Roommate June 11, 2010 at 3:01 am

Nobody’s made an ‘old Krohn’ joke yet? What’s wrong with you people?

Minnie Saruman June 11, 2010 at 4:46 am

Didn’t Michael J. Fox play this character a while back, when it was still a funny idea?

Johnny Zhivago June 11, 2010 at 6:25 am

Republicans need to get past the age and sex barrier…

What binds them together are stupidity and racism, regardless of how old they are.

the problem child June 11, 2010 at 7:03 am

[re=596686]Bearbloke[/re]: Only half true. http://www.cbc.ca/m/rich/arts/story/2010/06/06/pixies-israel.html

Geogre June 11, 2010 at 7:08 am

[re=596642]ZombieRichardFeynman[/re]: That’s what Vonnegut was talking about, alright.

Teenagers of both sexes have energy and belief, but no complexity yet. It isn’t that they’re remorseless as much as they’re fantastically idealistic zealous (I think idealism requires rational choice, while zeal requires emotional investment). The African armies indeed.

This is why home schooling must be regulated?

Geogre June 11, 2010 at 7:16 am

[re=596700]Smoke Filled Roommate[/re]: No one made a Krohn’s Disease joke, either.

There is nothing funny about the disease. I’m hoping, though, that it will be cured or that it’s pulling an Elmer Gantry/Mojo Nixon and will be discovered/rebel at an appropriate moment. And I hope the medical condition gets cured, too, and not with increasing steroids that leave patients with brittle bones and infinite treatment and never a cure.

gurukalehuru June 11, 2010 at 7:30 am

So, the Palestinians have to live in a miserable walled off desert ghetto where their best economic opportunities are getting U.N. aid or crossing over to work as day laborers/slaves on the estates of their oppressors, and the Israelis are upset because they won’t get to see a rock concert.
Yeah, those are exactly equivalent.

HedonismBot June 11, 2010 at 7:55 am

[re=596710]Geogre[/re]: I have Crohn’s, and I just recently got over a particulary nasty flare-up. This disease is awful, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone – with the possible exception of Joe Lieberman or Dick Cheney.
As for a cure, I can’t help but think of something Chris Rock said – “There ain’t no money in the cure! The money’s in the treatment.”
I think of this every time I see an ad on TV for boner pills. Old Republican sex perverts pay big money for pills that give ‘em a hard on. Even if they developed a cure for Crohn’s, chances are I couldn’t ever afford it.
Oh, but America’s medical system is the greatest in the world, isn’t it? Let the free market handle it. Sigh.

schvitzatura June 11, 2010 at 7:57 am

[re=596662]Bearbloke[/re]: They’re rockers and hipsters united and strong
They’re here to talk about Joo City they don’t like what’s going on (tell it)

Manos: Hands of Fate June 11, 2010 at 9:14 am

The fact they are promoting a 15-year old is indicative that conservatism is bull shit. I could teach my African Gray to talk about Reagan, tax cuts and families too you know.

queeraselvis v 2.0 June 11, 2010 at 9:43 am

[re=596643]Katydid[/re]: Ye gods. After watching that, I’m convinced [re=596609]Bearbloke[/re] is right… this kid is destined to be the best damn Sarah Palin draq queen EVAH.

libwakman June 11, 2010 at 10:18 am

Young Fucktard Alex Keaton wannabe would end up squealing like a mini-pig if he ever sashayed his hairless little ass into the K Street sexytime condo.

Ducksworthy June 11, 2010 at 10:25 am

[re=596577]One Yield Regular[/re]: Clearly a mental form of progeria.

[re=596572]Advocatus_Diaboli[/re]: I prefer St. Ronnie the Innocent. His dementia made him innocent, in his own mind at least, of his many crimes including giving aid and comport to the enemy to win an election.

Ducksworthy June 11, 2010 at 10:30 am

Why the fuk is this imbecile not gainfully employed in a coal mine somewhere in Appalachia? I’m sure Massey Energy has a job for him somewhere deep down and very cramped.

Ducksworthy June 11, 2010 at 10:40 am

[re=596621]El Pinche[/re]:Reaganisms as … a magic charm against reality.

Very nice. Add some Ayn Randiness and hate based xianism and Presto! you have a full magical armamentarium against the ravages of time and economics. Or course the Book of Mormon has it all.

queeraselvis v 2.0 June 11, 2010 at 10:44 am

[re=596795]Ducksworthy[/re]: As soon as Massey quits outsourcing those canaries, the job is his!

Tube City June 11, 2010 at 11:40 am

“Tax cuts! Bwakk! Reagan! Polly want a cracker! Hello! Hello! Bwakk!”

Polly picked it up from the radio, good bird.

Second Rain June 11, 2010 at 11:54 am

We wouldn’t say we hope he does coke. But we would. http://is.gd/cLC8N

desertwind June 11, 2010 at 8:11 pm

Maybe Tina Brown should adopt him since she loves him so much.

Then, he can divorce parent-Tina when he turns 16 and her old man dies so they can get married and live happily ever after.

heathenish June 11, 2010 at 10:06 pm

I’m torn between, “The Force is strong with this one, if only we can turn him to the dark side’ and “…..oh wait. I think this kid is actually the anti-christ, if only we could make him see the light.” Either way he worries me. He seems much smarter than the current sleazy used car salesman type my state now has in Congress….he’s the one who ran his boat up onto a cliff…but was too drunk to know who was driving…..(facepalm….)and this kid’s the future.(repeats facepalm)

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