Congressmen Weiner & Chaffetz Blown By Goats

  that's bipartisanship

Goat's Head Soup.Representatives Anthony Weiner (D-Brooklyn) and Jason Chaffetz (R-Utah) finally found cross-party cooperation in the supple mouths of these goats. It was a dumb stunt to promote …. eh, who cares? Both men got off and then the goats were slaughtered in a VooDoo Ritual, the end. Just kidding! One of the goats actually attacked Weiner and “drew blood.” [Ben Smith via Wonkette operative-commenter The Problem Child]

Related

 
Related video

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne

Hola wonkerados.

To improve site performance, we did a thing. It could be up to three minutes before your comment appears. DON'T KEEP RETRYING, OKAY?

Also, if you are a new commenter, your comment may never appear. This is probably because we hate you.

53 comments

  1. Lascauxcaveman

    Oh, man. I’ve nearly had my hand bitten off by one of these guys at a petting zoo.

    Even if I WAS into that sort of thing; that’s the last place I’d put my willie.

  2. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=596468]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Um, I meant the goats, not Weiner and Chafetz, in case anyone was wondering.

    I think I’ll stop now.

  3. facehead

    Take a bunch of bagels, grab the goat by the horns, put the bagels on the horns, hilarity ensues.

    This is all you need to know about goats.

  4. Fuck Toad

    The only valuable public servants in that picture are the goats, who provide something that people can use. Maybe once they’re out of work growing hair they can run for Congress and replace useless wastes of carbon Weiner and Chaffetz, who are holding press conferences demanding an end to a program which amounts to one millionth of annual federal outlays?

    Does the Tea Bag Party constitution permit goats to stand for election, or are they considered too educated and elitist?

  5. Monsieur Grumpe

    It doesn’t matter what kind of animal it is, always stay away from the one named Bitey

  6. JackDempsey

    wrongwrongwrong
    Those are blood-thirsty Panamanian fighting goats which have been temporarily pacified by the ultrasonic beacons hidden in the shorts of our fine congressmen. Those guys aren’t getting bjs; they’re pointing the way toward world peace. Next stop: Waziristan.

  7. JMP

    [re=596483]Fuck Toad[/re]: I don’t know, it’s brave of them to take on the mighty shepherd lobby.

  8. jus_wonderin

    One of the goats actually attacked Weiner and “drew blood.”

    That is actually good to know. If the goat had attacked the Republican, the acid in Chaffetz veins would have taken down said goat.

    And wouldn’t the ending to this story be so sad as we mourned the loss of a really courageous goat. You just never know. You just never know.

  9. nappyduggs

    As a staunch lifelong Capricorn, I must say that while I don’t approve of a goat biting a Weiner, I fully respect his right to do so, when provoked.

  10. queeraselvis v 2.0

    Weiner even went so far as to pledge not to wear wool until the House strikes the mohair subsidy from an upcoming agricultural appropriations bill.

    This is great news for velour sweater manufacturers.

  11. Crank Tango

    Today, we are all blowing goats. Or getting our dicks gnawed off by them, either or.

  12. Potater

    Chaffetz’s belly is engorged from draining the blood of the last goat that tried to suck his dick — that place is reserved for the Vietnamese call boys.

  13. Oblios Cap

    [re=596503]Snarkalicious[/re]:

    I thought they were the same entities. That goat looks surgically enhanced.

  14. Snarkalicious

    [re=596570]Oblios Cap[/re]: You are traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of shrill and stupid, but also too of grift, also. whee-OOO-oo-oo-ooo.

    And how dare you make such implications about young Piper in regard to Weiners and Mormons.

  15. Jukesgrrl

    Was Caribou Barbie there for the beheading?

    I, too, am a fan of Sir Anthony, but what is a boy from Park Slope doing hanging around a farm? Aren’t there enough old goats in Brooklyn?

  16. rmjag

    so . weiner looks cute when he gets blown . and chaffetz , where’s the story there ? not his first time at THAT rodeo . with a goat .

  17. schvitzatura

    Weiner will get Chosen Folk revenge, the goat will be “scapegoated”…burnt offering and shofar parts will be made available to Orthodox rebbes upon first request.

    Not sure what LDSer Chaffetz (suspiciously Red Sea pedestrian sounding surname) will do with his goat. Use it to carry Joe Smith’s gold plates or something.

  18. masterofzen

    D-Brooklyn?! Everybody knows the best congressman ever lives a five-minute walk away from yours truly in Forest Hills, Queens. Represent!

  19. artbot2000

    The Angora/Mohair subsidy is pork for Texas, where the vast majority of American Angora goats reside. Rep. Weiner isn’t just running a stunt here, as the attempt to scuttle the subsidy, when it returned back in 2002, has his name on it. The goats are cute as teh dickens and their wool is amazing stuff, but that doesn’t have anything to do with the subsidy, which is pure tax farming. I just wanted to speak up for the goats anyway, since they’re good company, and besides,

    sheep lie.

  20. Gay as Hell

    The look on Chaffetz’s face says his goat is playing a little rough.

    a little more about goat teeth…

    1) Goats have no upper front teeth; the upper front is just one big gum. [ahhhh]
    2) Goats do have lower front teeth. [uh oh]
    3) In the back of their mouth they have both upper and lower teeth. These molars are very strong.

    Good to know! Stay high and shallow, and enjoy the ride.

  21. Saint Ronald the Divine

    Obviously they were Hamas terror goats, cue the latest Dershowitz article on the dangers of the Islamofashist scapegoats.

Comments are closed.