Carly Fiorina Learns About Live Mics While Mocking Barbara Boxer’s Hair

'A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.'
Carly Fiorina is already abusing her lifelong “you can’t make fun of my hair because I had cancer” privileges by savagely mocking the hair of actual senator Barbara Boxer. What’s Carly’s excuse? Oh gosh, she didn’t know those broadcast microphones and video cameras pointed at her were turned on. Watch the shameful video.

Before the rude jackass remarks about Boxer — who has normal political lady hair — you must endure several minutes of Fiorina’s banal blabbing about Sean Hannity while she fiddles with her Blackberry and dismisses emails from people praising her appearance on Fox News. Entitled much, Carly?

Regardless of her unfortunate experience with “chemo hair,” Carly Fiorina is a cretin. [New York Daily News]

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A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

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  1. fictional character

    i’m so glad that everyone who runs the country/may soon run the country has absolutely no respect for each other, let alone the rest of us.

  2. Oblios Cap

    She should have eaten a lightly salted bag o’ dicks and maybe she wouldn’t be mocking others when she doesn’t look (or sound) too hot herself…

  3. slappypaddy

    she went on to say, “i have just outlawed barbara boxer forever. the bombing begins in five minutes.”

  4. Nappied Hypotenuse

    So she got her hair from chemo, but where the fuck did she get that collar? And cover your mouth when you yawn.

  5. Mild Midwesterner

    Don’t fret: We can still make fun of that horrid blue curtain that she’s wearing.

  6. freakishlystrong

    OMG! LOL! So snotty High School cheerleader bitchy. Which is really the entire GOPee now that I think about it.

  7. Scrodd

    I don’t care if she had cancer and chemo, Fiorina looks like a bull dyke with a bad mullet. And what’s with the Stepford Dress? Why is she wearing a a blue doily?

  8. On the Border

    Why does she hold her BlackBerry at arm’s length like it’s radioactive? I guess reading glasses also are so yesterday.

  9. pub_option

    [re=596030]Mild Midwesterner[/re]: The blue curtain looks, to me, like the dress a sixty-something secretary might wear to her retirement party.

  10. Manos: Hands of Fate

    Just because Fiorina is high-flying corporate hack who crashed and burned her company, trashing thousands of lives, I never assumed that meant she was an actual bitch. Alas, I stand corrected.

  11. Joshua Norton

    Well, she was responsible for raising the value of HP stock. It jumped 10 percent when they kicked her out.

    Even the “invisible hand” is giving her the finger.

  12. GoinGreen

    Next time, tell us that it is near the very end – that way, we won’t be exposed too long. Jesus, I could practically smell her dragon breath from her big, gaping open-mouthed yawn! BTW, her haircut looks like Maude
    (talking about SOOO YESTERDAAAY!!)

  13. Oblios Cap

    [re=596052]Joshua Norton[/re]:

    Too bad it wasn’t a resounding slap upside her head…

  14. Mr Blifil

    She seems to have been in such a hurry to dress that she threw on any old thing she could grab, which in this case happened to be a couch.

  15. Pompous Magnus

    The bigger sacrilege with her party is probably the beginning. Thou shalt not mock Hannity, lest thy incur the wrath of thou base.

  16. lizzieborden

    But did you catch the size of the watch on the ear-piece guy? I could tell the time from here in the Pocono’s.

  17. widestanceromancer

    [re=596030]Mild Midwesterner[/re]: Saw it in the window and couldn’t resist? I think we know where the curtain rod went. . .

  18. actor212

    Is that why her hair is like that?


    I thought the HP board scalped her before throwing her under the bus.

  19. Johnny Zhivago

    OK, as I said before, having worked for this stupid bitch, I can tell you two things…

    – she says batshit crazy stuff all the time
    – she’s mean as hell and says nasty things about everyone
    – she doesn’t know how to use anything more complex than a lightswitch without fumbling with it.

    That’s three things. BTW, I personally taught her how to use a “smartphone” 11 years ago, so you would think she would have it down cold by now.

  20. proudgrampa

    She is such a douche.

    Like I always say, if you like what she did to HP, you’ll LOVE what she does to CA.

  21. Lazy Media

    OK, if Boxer and Brown kick the respective evil corporate ladies’ asses in November (and with Obama’s approval rating at 59 percent in CA, I can’t see Republicans winning statewide against two historically strong campaigners), can the cable teevee PLEASE shut up about teabaggers and the alleged Republican resurgence?

  22. Mad Brahms

    Somehow I missed the hair bit. I think I was lulled half to sleep by her banal Hannity talk; what’s the minute:second on it?

  23. Oblios Cap

    [re=596077]Johnny Zhivago[/re]:

    One thing I’ve learned is that the so called “smart people” (i.e. our corporate betters, in particular) are actually pretty damned stupid assholes.

  24. librulabortionlover

    [re=596084]Mad Brahms[/re]: about 3:59, do yourself a favor and skip right to it, she tells literally the most boring story ever about some dudes wolfing down cheeseburgers (?) for about an hour first.

  25. Hoplight

    Oh man, she KNOWS she’s being bad too. It’s the only moment where her eyes glitter. Maybe’s she’s trying to humanize her image by starting a catfight.

  26. Hoplight

    [re=596078]proudgrampa[/re]: I don’t want the woman to win, but that slogan could be a trap. Trouble is, HP is doing much better and a full overhaul may be what CA needs (plus a new constitution). Now, she’s probably not the right person to do it, but still. I’m just not sure that slogan is the best one.

  27. Sussemilch

    [re=596087]Oblios Cap[/re]: Most modern leaders are idiot bastards. Genius only spawns in the presence of patience or pressure, and it’s just easier to be mean.

  28. Gorillionaire

    Ah, cancer shmancer! She probably has one of those gold plated cadillac insurance policies that has the secret cure for cancer at only a $3500 deductable.

  29. Joshua Norton

    [re=596094]Hoplight[/re]: Apples and oranges. Putting her in the US Senate doesn’t have anything to do with overhauling California at a state level. All she’ll be is another sock puppet vote for all the crooks that populate the Party of No.

  30. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=596037]Hemp Dogbane[/re]: About Hannity: “You know how he is.”

    A fairy?


    But that clip was some fairly cringeworthy entertainment. Sort of like having Olympia Dukkakis do an method actor’s excercise on playing someone who is 1/4 intelligent and 1/10 as attractive as they think they are.

  31. Wonderman

    She had CANCER???!!?? Well, hell, elect her! Elect her right now!

    –signed Dr. Gregory House

  32. Oldskool

    That would sound about right if her head was under a helmet dryer at a salon. Anywhere else, not so much.

  33. crapshooter102

    [re=596077]Johnny Zhivago[/re]: Thanks for the info. Did she ever say why she shipped all those jobs off-shore? Just wondering.

  34. Woodwards Friend

    She thinks Hannity is a tough interview for a Republican candidate? This gal is a real pussy.

  35. the problem child

    “Offshore California” sounds like a great campaign slogan to me.

    And the least unattractive thing about her is her hair, so, um, catfight?

  36. heck

    [re=596118]jodyleek[/re]: Not to mention quoting a Hilary Duff song! I’m just a bird that’s already flown away……

  37. S.Luggo

    “Mirror, mirror in may hand, who’s the fairest in the land? Bite into rosey side of the apple, Barbara Boxer.”

  38. S.Luggo

    Carlzilla wasn’t aware that TV studios used them new-fangled things called IMics or E-phones, or whatever they are called. No wonder she did so excellently well running a tech company.

  39. WhatTheHeck

    The power of politics is already working its magical charm all over her.
    Its wrapped her up in a blue dress designed by Ego. Humility jumped out the window behind her.

  40. bloatedwhitetruck

    I think bad thoughts watching her preen and hearing that cackle. This woman is an unlovely creature.

  41. MarSF

    [re=596178]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: It’s more like a uniform for a “Texan Republican Lady”, except she is missing the required Giant Hairdo. So sad, all that money and no taste. Whitman seems to have the same crappy stylist.

  42. mayor_quimby

    That multimillionaire is still using that lame-ass blackberry curve they give you for 99 cents?
    And she says ‘I can’t find this thing’ , looking for the email.
    You used to run a technology company!! That may explain why they made that piece of shit iPaq for all those years.

  43. Hedley Lamar

    She looks suspiciously like the guy who claimed he killed Jon Benet Ramsey. Curious minds want to know.

  44. comicbookguy

    [re=596115]Woodwards Friend[/re]: Somehow I picture Hannity smirking to himself and thinking, yes, I ask the tough questions and I don’t pull punches for anyone, not even Sarah Palin who is the most awesomest ever.

  45. One Yield Regular

    I had a curious sort of psychologically regressive reaction to that video, as all of a sudden I was reminded of my 3 year old self in a movie theater, crying in terror at the evil queen in “Snow White.”

  46. west elk

    Enough with the clothing sniping already. Why do you people hate Mamie Eisenhower, who had the same thing in pink?

  47. comicbookguy

    She’s right, Boxer doesn’t have the experience of running a large company into the ground and leaving in disgrace.

  48. XOhioan

    She is an arrogant idiot who ran HP into the ground. If Californians elect this wolf in demon sheep clothing, the entire state might as well break off and sink in to the Pacific.


    You know what would be awesome? If she went and mismanaged another company into oblivion as opposed to feeding just about every stereotypical female in politics narrative in existence.


  50. Bufford T. Justice

    When she misses her nightly bucket of cunts for supper, she do get a might testy.

  51. Clean For Gene

    [re=596021]Carrie_Okie[/re]: Well not really–have you ever tried get help from their tech support?–but in this case, they are undoubtedly not wrong.

  52. katrina

    The only bigger irony than being a tech company exec (former) that can’t nav a blackberry is that she obvs has Hannity’s same hair ‘designer’.

  53. skaboomizzy

    You know, I’m not even offended at the bitchy comment. I’m far more troubled by the fact that any idiot knows you ALWAYS TREAT A MICROPHONE AND CAMERA LIKE IT’S BROADCASTING and don’t say stupid shit in front of them.


    Actually what bothers me the most is her characterizing Hannity as a hard interview. Really? Hannity’s a hard interview for a Republican? I hope her handlers never let her see Katie Couric or Charlie Gibson.

  55. steverino247

    [re=596403]Chet Kincaid[/re]: With a shovel maybe. I’ve met Boxer and I’d give her the old Wham-Bam. However, trying to remember to yell out “Senator” instead of “Thank you, ma’am” just as I came could be distracting.

    And yes, I’m kidding.

  56. coastingdownhill

    Nasty. Mean. Bitch.

    Failed in running a business. Will fail in running for political office.

    But highly successful as an arrogant smirking can’t remember her name in five years from now, who?

  57. problemwithcaring

    A real life Failed CEO calls a sitting member of Congress a “failed Senator.” The schadenfreude on this will be almost to sweet to stomach. Almost.

  58. wilbro

    [re=596571]problemwithcaring[/re]: If I am finally learning anything about the professional world, it’s that grand failure is the way to go.

    Seriously, I would love to f-up a company so bad they paid me $45 million to go away.

    Mediocrity, now that’s a deadend.

  59. Jukesgrrl

    [re=596418]I_KILL_ZOMBIES_ALSO[/re]: I would have loved seeing Maddow enjoy her as a tasty amuse bouche, but I think all Teapublican candidates are now invoking the Rand Paul Rule: Maddow = Death.

  60. Stanley Kapocky

    This is the douchebag that ran Lucent and HP into the ground and she’s running for public office? Perfect. What a great country.

  61. crumpet

    Is this woman running as the supposed power-successful CEO, or does she think a Senate race is a beauty contest? Am I confused? Or is she?

  62. Smoke Filled Roommate

    What about golden parachute pants? Aren’t they so fucking yesterday? Greed is good, Snarly. Greed is good.

  63. peeno nwar

    [re=596112]geminisunmars[/re]: Yes, because it was on Christina Hendricks. What’s your question?

  64. peeno nwar

    [re=596094]Hoplight[/re]: HP is doing much better only because she’s gone. That kind of “full overhaul” would only appeal to anybody if they were hoping that she’d somehow get California to spend whatever’s left of its treasury to buy Arizona, and then pay her millions of dollars to go away.

  65. peeno nwar

    [re=596115]Woodwards Friend[/re]: She probably figures that InHannity would call her a gawdless librul because she doesn’t show up with all her guns to the anti-choice rally, or the local Tea Party protest of the post office, or whatever crap he’s got on the menu this week. And the same presumably goes for Meg. Because they are both “fiscal conservatives,” e.i. bored rich people who crave power but don’t especially care about Jeebus, or have the energy to pretend to.

  66. Lionel Hutz Esq.

    [re=596051]Manos: Hands of Fate[/re]: [re=596052]Joshua Norton[/re]: Yes, remember when the Republican’s prided themselves on having competent business leaders as candidates. Now, they only want you if you are like Bush and you were a total failure in business.

    [re=596115]Woodwards Friend[/re]: I wondered about that too. Maybe by “tough” she meant that it is tough not to laugh when you are asked that many softball questions with no follow ups?

    [re=596290]west elk[/re]: Haven’t you watched or listen to Glen Beck? Mamie Eisenhower was a well known Communist. Why do you think she had it in pink?

  67. Ninong

    She was a disaster for HP. Surely that will come up if she ever agrees to a hard interview.

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