As part of some big, expensive “diplomatic safari,” Joe Biden’s been chillin’ in Kenya, the birthplace of President Barry Hussein Soetero-Obama. In Nairobi, Biden gave a speech to some university students, telling jokes and complimenting a “beautiful woman” in the audience. Did he show them Obama’s Kenyanese birth certificate?
No, but his peculiar speech intro will surely launch a thousand Teablogger posts about THE TRUTH:
Now, I know no one in Kenya is familiar with Barack Obama, but I can tell you although for years as a United States senator, I had — I was on a committee called the Foreign Relations Committee, the chairman, and did a lot of work relating to Africa, I hear about Kenya all the time from Barack Obama. He sends his love to you, not just your love to him.
Some of America’s top typists have already questioned why Obama sent Biden to his homeland instead of asking him to fix the economy or plug up the BP oil geyser, with hair plugs. And did you know that Nobama’s promised Kenya some money if they go to democracy rehab, even though we have no money? Apparently the national debt does not rise up to “big fucking deal” status yet, GRUMBLE.
Meanwhile, Darrell Issa and other congressmen of courage are still trying to find out why Obama’s American embassy pals are writing a new Kenyan constitution to abort all of the nation’s unborn babies. Perhaps Issa can hire fellow foreigner-Californian Orly Taitz to subpoena everyone in Kenya to get to the bottom of this scandal, after she’s done interrogating America’s pancake artists.
In other news, Joe Biden will attend the World Cup soccer game in South Africa — not to sing the “Star Spangled Banner,” but to “chill” some more, while you “starve.” [WhiteHouse.gov]
{ 56 comments }
I know Biden has a weird verbal dynamic, but WTF does He sends his love to you, not just your love to him. mean?
Is he suggesting Obama is returning the love of his fellow Kenyans back to them? Is this a “ReEturn To Sender/Address Unknown” deal?
Joe Biden is truly a national treasure.
Warren Zevon win.
Nice alt-text, Lauri. I loves me some Warren Zevon.
OOOH! Score on the alt tag! Love me some Warren Zevon!
[re=596161]forgracie[/re]: [re=596166]Pat Pending[/re]:
Great minds think alike.
Zevon lives, but reality is becoming stranger than fiction.
If the Vice President assassinates the POTUS, does the VP get to be President? I should probably ask C-Span this question.
That LA Times blogger sure can dish out a lot of sarcastic vitriol over nothing whatsoever. Oh no, the Vice President should never go on a diplomatic trip when there’s problems in America; he should be focusing all of his non-existent powers on domestic concerns. And how dare Obama spend his time dealing with domestic concerns instead of going to a funeral in Poland!
Oh, and the President apparently has a duty to make a special announcement on the anniversary of every important event of World War II, every single year, for some reason. Huh, I never knew that.
time for another peaceful war
So the idiots on the right — including Issa — are objecting to Kenya’s constitution because of its strict anti-abortion provisions, which they consider too lax? Of course — because Africa’s biggest problem is abortion, right up there with not having enough shoe salesmen. It’s nice to know that although Rudyard Kipling is long dead, the White Christian Man’s burden totters on endlessly, pounding down the nail of human suffering with a hammer made out of bibles.
“…why Obama sent Biden to his homeland instead of asking him to fix the economy or plug up the BP oil geyser, with hair plugs.” — Tony Hayward’s next bright idea, ftw.
[re=596159]actor212[/re]: see Kat Williams’ “The Pimp Chronicles” for clarification.
[re=596185]SayItWithWookies[/re]: nicely said, wookie.
[re=596185]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Reading the article, it’s worse than that – they’re objecting because the forced birth provision includes an exception when a woman’s health is in danger. Yes, they literally think a woman should be forced to die instead of getting an abortion.
So, as with their support of the Ugandan kill-the-gays-bill, we can see what these evil cretins really want by what they support in Africa, where they don’t make the same sops to basic human decency for PR purposes.
To Kenya with Love? Was that a Roger Moore or Sean Connery flick?
[re=596192]JMP[/re]: Gah, hit submit too soon, that should be Where they don’t make the same sops to basic human decency for PR purposes that they do here in America.
One would think Big Business would be more interested in raising the stand of living in Africa instead of worrying about this shit so that they could buy more cheap consumerist crap. It’s a big market with huge untapped natural resources.
Ahh, snark is back. I was worried about our Wonkette for awhile.
[re=596196]Oblios Cap[/re]:
idiot! Standard of living.
I guess selling weapons so that they can keeping each other is more lucrative.
[re=596179]JMP[/re]: That’s Andrew Malcolm, who used to work in the Shrub’s administration…I think he was Laura Bush’s press secretary. He’s a daily fountain of hilarious anti-Obama snark. His blogging and Jonah Goldberg’s columns are exhibits A and B proving the L.A. Times’ death spiral over the last decade or so.
I can’t wait to see the Glee kids sing “To Kenya, With Love.”
Biden is not going by airplane to the World Cup finals, his body is being Thompson-gunned from Mombasa to Johannesburg.
[re=596205]Come here a minute[/re]:
By Childe Roland, no doubt.
Five bucks says Biden has or will ask where they filmed “The Lion King.”
Lurve u, Papa Joe.
[re=596205]Come here a minute[/re]: I blame that sonofabitch Van Owen…
[re=596202]hockeymom[/re]: Get OUT of my HEAD!
They only want to abort gay Muslim babies. Because they turn into Democraps.
Roland the Thompson Gunner Lives! ‘Cause I’d rather feel bad than feel nothing at all. Like Warren. Because, he’s, well, waitin’ for the Space Jeebus to come whilst the worms play Pinochle on his snout.
Biden went on to say how clean all the students looked.
I love pancakes as much as the next person, but JESUS those images of Orly. [stomps away to Drano his brain]
[re=596225]populucious[/re]:
Always look on the bright side of life. Da-do, da do ddh do dah do.
Back to thinking of Warren, Zevon’s “My Shit’s Fucked up” is one the greatest tunes of all time.
[re=596207]Oblios Cap[/re]:
You see what I did? Obama’s White House = The Dark Tower.
[re=596185]SayItWithWookies[/re]:
Seriously, AIDS, genocide, and lack are doing plenty to control Africa’s population. Unless you have a vested interest in killing off the hive, if you know what I mean.
I think O’Biden’s Kenyan/English Babblefish is broken.
Pancakes shall ever be strangers to me now.
One of the many reasons why Wonkette is far superior to other blogs, accept no substitutes, etc….
A near universal appreciation of Warren Zevon.
[re=596250]hockeymom[/re]:
Indeed. A quick jaunt over to YuoTube to listen to the song affirmed my appreciation!
[re=596192]JMP[/re]: Hey, if they die loving Jesus it’s a point for heaven, right? It’s too bad there’s not a way to baptize babies in the womb, because then the Christian crazies would be fine with abortion — it’s just the thought of all those little souls going to limbo or hell or wherever that breaks their hearts apparently, since they don’t seem to give a rat’s ass about them after they’re born.
Patty Hearst heard the worst…
I think the headless Tommy Thompson gunners are at that Teabag Fart site, though.
–
The criticisms of the administration have no ideology or plan to them, as is pretty obvious. Deficits were no big deal when we “lost” pallets of money in Iraq (literally lost), when Laura’s vanity hospitals went up in flames, and all the other stuff (all aid-y, hopey) related in Blood Money, but, as soon as the priorities are domestic citizens the Republicans become Wal*Mart shoppers having panic attacks.
[re=596264]SayItWithWookies[/re]:
No sweat, The Mormons can retroactively baptise the dead, so baptising babies in the womb should be no problem.
[re=596264]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Alas, too few people read Tristram Shandy.
Had you read it, you would know that the learned Doctors of the Sorbonne figured out a way to baptize infants before birth, by means of a squirting nozzle, in case of stillborn children. They were certain that babies that were, effectively, born dead, were beyond reach, and therefore they contrived a means of squirting up within (priests, mind you), as the baby, although dead, was not dead so long as it had not been delivered, and therefore could be saved.
[re=596273]Geogre[/re]: Sadly, an inability to pronounce “Tristram” has kept me from ordering the great work. Maybe I’ll seek it out on Amazon.
[re=596250]hockeymom[/re]: Heh, draw blood! On pancakes, of course.
[re=596288]SayItWithWookies[/re]: Tristram Shandy is hilarious….
Well, .66 of it is.
I realize that “reading Tristram Shandy” is code for being effete and finding Punch! humorous, but it really is funny. This is because it was written before the Great Unfunny happened (Queen Victoria). After the Great Unfunny, people had only their Samuel Butler the Lesser (“Erehwon”) and sitting around waiting for Oscar Wilde while they … they… they quipped. It was horrible.
[re=596288]SayItWithWookies[/re]: You had no loss, I assure you; it is the horridest nonsense you can imagine; there is nothing in the world in it but an old man’s playing at see-saw and learning Latin; upon my soul there is not.
[re=596297]Geogre[/re]: Oh please, Samuel Butler? George Eliot is on the line and would like to offer a pointed, if lengthy, rebuttal.
Dear Kenya,
Take my vice president. Please
Love (one way or another),
B. Obama
The real question is if Hopey will let Joe come home…
[re=596311]the problem child[/re]: Dang, wrong obscure 18th century novel. Never mind.
[re=596250]hockeymom[/re]: Seriously. Who could argue with a blog that gets Zevon, Samuel Butler, George Eliot, Patty Hearst, and Mormons all referenced in one thread? Darrell Issa’s probably never heard of any of them. Lovefest over. Back to cold, black anger here.
Jeebus K. Reist ths here wonkett appears to be infuking fested with unemployed english major today. However, I has a serious question. How do Islamic Courts feel about abortions. I mean if you own up to 4 wives, woudn’t an abortion come on handy from time to time, or not?
Obama chose Biden as Vice-President to make sure NO ONE would try to assassinate him.
[re=596522]chascates[/re]: People used to say that about Bush choosing Quayle.
Seriously I can’t match up with all the literary references on this thread, so, um, buttsecks?
[re=596297]Geogre[/re]: Humor and Empire are inversely proportionate. That is why the UK has Monty Python, Fry and Laurie, and Sir Digby Chicken Caesar, while we have Larry the pigfucking Cable Guy.
That picture is preposterous, it doesn’t even say anything in Arabic, someone just banged on their keyboard!
[re=596325]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: George Eliot is quite arch, and that’s the problem.
After the Great Unfunny, they could only comment and quip and make wry observations. There are very nicely pointed bits in Ms. Evans’s work, but comedy? That passed with Don Juan, at the latest. Funny? Funny was too difficult in a serious age with an empire to manage and reform bills to pass and beggars in the streets and urchins dying of consumption. Swift found a way, but, like us, they could not, for they, like us, felt the stakes were too high to risk a laugh.
(I’m not saying they weren’t good, just not absurd, not comedic, not wild, not dangerous to themselves. They were extremely good. They were just afraid to be funny. Sterne is, for .66 of his book, unafraid to be funny and trusting that the “serious” will get through.) Wwwwwwwway OT, of course.
Boogers!
[re=596596]Link47[/re]:
It’s cypher; only a halfrican Muslin usurper can read it. I can almost make out “lube” so it might be about buttsecks.
[re=596596]Link47[/re]: True. I tried to read the disjointed letters and broke my brain.
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