We are sorry to bring up Waterworld, but it’s the only thing that came to mind. Kevin Costner + Some sort of Trouble At Sea? Anyway, we just noticed the actor on the CSPAN, somberly barking at BP officials for not buying his machine, and a YouTube search turned up this set of local news stories. Celebrities (?) plus News Disasters = Topical Interest! Yay internet. [YouTube]
ACTORS DOING THINGS
June 9, 2010
{ 61 comments }
Y’all only just noticed? I mean, dayum, I know these is fly ovah states, but ol’ Bull Durham hyar offud hes oiling-cleanin’-masheen monfs ago!
Wait till Mel Gibson gts the Opus Dei involved.
I can’t watch YouTube videos at work. Just tell me: did he repeat “back, and to the left” four or five times?
His hair looks so realistic. I bet it would sop up tons of oil all by itself.
Who knows more about oil spills than environmental and petroleum engineers/scientists but Hollywood stars! Box office gross > IQ points.
[re=595571]actor212[/re]: Flah ovah. Ole Kevin got thet machine outta his splah bin.
BP probably didn’t want the machine because it might blow the situation up; the only things Kostner’s produced since 1995 have been huge bombs.
multi-plasmid pseudomonas or GTFO!
What we need is a mash-up of Water World and Mad Max.
I’d like to post some kind of clever comment that references that Waterworld movie, but I understand no one else saw it and it would sail by everyone.
Oh wait, this one works any old way:
“You know, I thought you were stupid, friend. But I underestimated you. You’re a total fuckin’ retard!”
All the Gulf oil & drama could easily fit inside Costner’s opinion of himself.
Kevin’s machine looks like it works great…on diesel fuel. Now all we have to do is refine the sludge in the Gulf into diesel fuel, and Kevin’s machine will clean it up!
[re=595579]Aurelio[/re]: Mah polgees. Ridnick es mah seckin langwidge
Yes, Kevin, let’s just spin the Gulf of Mexico to separate the oil and water. What direction will all the critters go in your giant spinner and do you regard this as a potential issue?
Kev, lose the flavor saver, it does nothing for your cred.
[re=595585]Baldar T Flagass[/re]: References Waterworld, check. Appropriate to the current Gulf crisis, check.
Uttered by the recently deceased Dennis Hopper…BONUS!
Jack Abramoff is half-way home, maybe they could use him to plug the hole.
Comment that references…Waterworld would sail by everyone.
Try me. I could probably remember the parts I saw when I was awake.
[re=595585]Baldar T Flagass[/re]: They dropped (among other things) a Chapman Super Peewee, a camera crane, and 125 radios into the ocean during principal photography. It would have been cheaper for the production company to buy everyone on the crew a house, and just take a few months off.
wow, maybe he can also come up with a plan to convince people to use the USPS again since he was in The Postman and all….
[re=595581]facehead[/re]: Also, popcorn shrimp smoothies.
Ummm, how about “The Body (of water) Guard” wherein KC saves Whitney Houston from something black & greasy, called “Bobby Brown?” Yeah, same exact thing, see?
This is the greatest news since James Cameron was laughed at when he came to save the whales and porpoises with his magic “Abyss” equipment. Why won’t anyone take Hollywood types seriously? It’s because of Reagan, isn’t it!
Turns the water 97% clean. Even if you didn’t want to drink in it, you’d at least take a shower in it, right? Right?
[re=595602]JohnnyMeatworth[/re]: Hell, maybe he could help me find my car keys, he did find that bottle of Dom Perignon in Fandango.
I don’t understand why BP is shunning him — sure it’s the worst oil spill in American history, but once Kevin Costner gets his hands on a project it usually disappears forever.
Ken you got the equation wrong — it’s “celebrities + topical interest = news disaster.”
Re: Waterworld: If costner could use his little urine-purifying machine on 5billion gallons of oily water, we’d be in business. That’s really the only thing from the movie I remember, except for an underwater city that looked suspiciously like L.A.
I would more faith in Costner if it didn’t look like he was auditioning to reprise John Travolta’s role in Operation: Swordfish.
If this works, can BHO call his internet boyfriend Ahmadinejad and gets ultra centrifuges as loaners? Swing, swing, swing.
[re=595616]bureaucrap[/re]:
Yeah, but if I recall correctly, that system involved him pissing on a tomato plant and that might be hard to scale up for the whole Gulf of Mexico.
[re=595583]you cannot be serious[/re]: Been to the Gulf coast lately? It hardly even needed the Oil Spill to achieve that apocalyptic combo.
Lisa Simpson: “Poor Mr. Costner. He tries so hard…”
“…and a group of local investors…”
Okay. Got it. But did I really just waste nearly 2 minutes of my precious life watching that? I did. Put ME through that machine, plz, to cleanse my soul.
[re=595625]Ken Layne[/re]: HAHAHA, Ken. Sounds like you’ve been to Morgan City too!
Maybe Kevin is just acting out for attention, annoyed because thanks to Russel Crowe he no longer holds the record for most inappropriate Robin Hood ever.
Too bad the Deacon’s dead: he’d know how to clean up the go-juice.
[re=595636]JMP[/re]: Actually for the next one they’re casting Gilbert Gottfried as Robin Hood. Now THAT’s entertainment.
If you build it they will come.
It = oil cleaning machine
They = parish officials
Come = ???
[re=595633]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]:
Worse, any place along the Texas coast south of Galveston and north of Corpus. A TV travel show once described that stretch as looking as if a bomb had gone off. Yeah, I’m looking at YOU, Palacios and Freeport.
What year was he considered to be handsome … 19never?
Weren’t the villains in Waterworld dudes that had tons of oil and sailed around on a decrepit oil tanker?
[re=595645]Terry[/re]: Isn’t East Texas trailer trash redundant?
Nine most scary words:
“I’m actor Kevin Costner, and I’m here to help!”
[re=595656]thehelveticascenario[/re]: Not just any tanker, the Exxon Valdez.
Good things about Waterworld? Well, the little girl grew up to be a cute nerd actress, so there’s that anyway. Otherwise, it lacks even the redeeming supporting characters the Costner Robin Hood had. Really, just about any performance where he’s not either a baseball player or a cowboy has been not good to say the least.
Anybody else getting “comments are closed” on the new thread? Is there something about crazy sex-charged DEMOCRATS in S.C. that can’t be said?
[re=595668]LittlePig[/re]: Yeah, such as:
Don’t know why I love you like I do
After all these changes that you put me through
You stole my money and my cigarettes
And I haven’t seen hide nor hair of you yet
Dancing With Wolves while wearing a baseball uniform while working for the CIA qualifies this man to plug up something.
BP ought to treat Kevin with kid gloves. Like all actors, he’s afraid of rejection.
Turn down his whirling gizmo and there’ll be No Way Out for him.
Hollywood has a tradition of invention. For example, Hedy Lamarr shared a patent for a frequency hopping device intended to control torpedos by radio remote control.
But Cosner has bigger tits.
Ah, shucks. I missed out on all the Kev lovin’. Did he ask about me?
[re=595585]Baldar T Flagass[/re]: Nothing’s free in Waterworld.
Nobody thought to ask Mr Wolf? He solves problems.
“Deepwater Horizon is thirty minutes away. I’ll be there in ten.”
We are sorry to bring up Waterworld, but it’s the only thing that came to mind.
How could you NOT think of Waterworld? Disastrous multi-million dollar failure on an unprecedented scale, tax liability/write-off…the parallels are quite obvious.
[re=595642]Come here a minute[/re]: Come = show up to get your autograph for their mothers at intermission and then sneak out the back so they can make it to the shindig Exxon/Mobil is throwin at the lodge.
Uh, guys, his machine actually works. And if we let the Gulf die just because you think he’s funny, well, we deserve to have a dead planet.
Why does Obama hate British olds?
[re=595793]rebellitor[/re]: Because we think it is funny the planet will die? I believe your yogatard is cutting off the blood to your brain.
Tatonka?
It is amazing how all the comments are hate and cut downs on the one person who stepped up to at least try to help. Calling fellow residents of this great nation trailer trash seems to imply that you all think we should just let the spill do what it will. I live 140 miles inland of the oil spill and can smell the oil. Those of us that aren’t classified as trailer trash, and those of us that aren’t hidden in our offices or homes commenting on blogs just for sport are really concerned about the eco system. The planet is in peril, but not just from the Gulf disaster. How arrogant we are to think we can do as we please and the earth will go on forever. I appreciate the idea Mr. Costner has and really the oil giants that own us all should have something that works. At least, he is stepping up to help and not just sitting behind a computer bashing everyone. It is easy to disassociate from reality when it is on television, but the oil is real, the damage is bad and we residents of the Gulf deserve to be protected just as all other people. True it wasn’t an airplane with that flew in and caused this destruction but I am certain the oil companies like BP have done far more damage to our country than Bin Laden or any other organization.
[re=595700]Neilist[/re]: That’s Hedley!
Backing rebellitor and lilbird, it’s not Costner’s invention, but a device he helped finance. I’m guessing the committee brought Costner and Cameron in to attract media attention.
There’s precedent: cellphones depend on technology developed by HeDY Lamar; not every actor is as stupid as Reagan.
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