rumors on the internets

LOLberals Are Mental Children

  • Liberals are totally leotarded according to a recent poll administered by Zogby International, which polled a self-selected group of Internet individuals about economics and GOTCHA the liberals did terrible! [Wall Street Journal/Econ Watch]
  • Did you hear? Last night patriarchy was overthrown in America! Now that women rule the civilized world, be prepared for mandatory Mama Mia singalongs on the House floor. [WaPo]
  • Barbara Boxer, noted disco hippie, has been in Congress for “Decades of EPIC FAIL,” ugh. She also wants to be referred to as “senator,” not “ma’am.” How DARE she demand to be referred to by her official title, and not a specifically gendered term that constantly implies she is an inferior to the men around her. [Red State/Call me Ma’am]
  • Think Progress’s originally-named Wonk Room reports on a poll that finds Americans less repulsed by gays and lesbians. Now only 43% of Americans hate homos, which is Progress! [The Wonk Room]

  • The television show that fully represents America in every way: Toddlers and Tiaras, is on tonight! This is the only thing trashier than talking about the Gore family’s divorces. Here is last week’s premier episode, in case you missed it: [TLC]

About the author

Benjamin Frisch is a comic book artist, and sometimes journalist currently habituating somewhere on the elitist liberal east coast of the United States. His published works include a short lived, but beloved cross-dressing comic strip entitled Maurice Antoinette and some other stuff not worth mentioning. As a journalist, Benjamin somehow contributed to National Public Radio, with his story At the Concert Hall, a Symphony for Space Invaders. Benjamin is currently delaying adulthood as a graduate student, and plans to remain one forever. He can be twittered at Twitter.com/BenjaminFrisch

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45 comments

  1. Prommie

    Where’s that desert-cross-stealing unabomber lookalike funny feller? He sure sleeps in late.

  2. weejee

    This post is way confusing for an olde like me. Benjamin are you saying that some wankers from Think Progress wearing tiaras gored some toddlers because Barbara Boxer thinks singing ghey sechs songs about Swedish meatballs will improve the economy?

  3. chascates

    Since Boxer has been in the Senate so long Fiorina can rightly claim that Boxer voted for ‘trillions’ in tax increases. Boxer has also voted ‘yea’ thousands of times!

    Time to take back our government.

  4. Aunt Fancy

    There were 8 questions and three of them were; 5) Third World workers working for American companies overseas are being exploited (unenlightened answer: agree). 6) Free trade leads to unemployment (unenlightened answer: agree). 7) Minimum wage laws raise unemployment (unenlightened answer: disagree).

    LOLZ, so stop protesting Cathy Lee’s sweatshops that GM runs in Mexico for below the minimum wage making trucknutz for the Haley Barbour campaign fund you libtardos.

  5. BaconTime

    Hahaha what kind of a joke survey was that?? This is one of their brain-busters: “Third World workers working for American companies overseas are being exploited” ["Correct" Anser = False]

    Thank you capitalist overlords! It appeases me to know that your sweatshops are NOT exploitative! I know this is true because you declared it so in a Zogby survey!

  6. Aguacatero

    Liberals may well be ignorant about economics, but that poll certainly doesn’t demonstrate as much. The rightwing hack George Mason econ professor who devised the poll in order to support his preconceived postulates scored the questions in such a way that it was deemed a technical of “basic economics” to disagree with highly controversial tenets of Winger Economics. Examples:

    “5) Third World workers working for American companies overseas are being exploited (unenlightened answer: agree). 6) Free trade leads to unemployment (unenlightened answer: agree). 7) Minimum wage laws raise unemployment (unenlightened answer: disagree).”

  7. freakishlystrong

    Bleecchh. Teatards and Tiaras. Poor little home skewled Jebus loving future pole dancers. Ick.

  8. freakishlystrong

    If we libruls suck so much at the economies how come we always have to clean up after Conservatives?
    Eat a bag of oil slimed pelican dicks.

  9. JMP

    I’m willing to read wignut idiocy, but not watch it; there’s no way I’m clicking on their Boxer video. The comments, as always, are priceless; one says of Fiorina “Her campaign is not afraid to get negative against Boxer like most Republican candidates across the country.” Uh, I think the guy has the wrong party; Republican candidates do nothing but go negative.

    [re=595486]edgydrifter[/re]: The show’s already been picked up for two more years, actually; as a straight man who’s nevertheless a fan of musicals I’m happy.

  10. Crank Tango

    [re=595512]JMP[/re]: Funny thing about zogby is he is always sending out emails for the Ay-rabs. I wonder how that all squares up? Pro-Arab and conservatard don’t really seem to go together these days, but what do I know, I am unenlightened.

  11. JMP

    [re=595515]freakishlystrong[/re]: What have liberals ever done for the economy? Besides ending the Great Depression, that is, and in fact the whole boom and bust depression cycle that ran from the end of the Civil War until then; and then create a lasting stable economy, maintained by both liberals and economically moderate Republicans, until conservatives took over and dismantled the regulatory regime and the boom & bust cycles began again.

    Besides that, what have liberals ever done for the economy?

  12. edgydrifter

    [re=595522]JMP[/re]: Wha?! Straight dude AND likes musicals? Shit, I thought I was the only one. Now my heart feels fuzzy for Wonkette again.

  13. queeraselvis v 2.0

    Hey RedState, I propose a gentlemen’s agreement: you stop being misogynist assholes toward Barbara Boxer and I’ll quit referring to you as a bunch of imbecilic, sexually frustrated shemales with a fondness for poop. Fair enough?

  14. Jim89048

    [re=595527]Crank Tango[/re]: It’s kinda like limbaugh’s wedding singer. Given enough money, we’re all whores.

  15. comicbookguy

    [re=595539]queeraselvis v 2.0[/re]: geez talk about giving away the farm on the first offer. Give yourself room to haggle at least. Open with shemales on the table, but keep fondness for poop, to be traded as a last resort.

    [re=595532]JMP[/re]: Don’t forget those liberal hippies who built the Internet and started the personal computer revolution. But other than that, nothing.

  16. Aurelio

    From the study: We think it is reasonable to maintain that if a respondent disagrees with the
    statement “Restrictions on housing development make housing less affordable,”
    the respondent betrays a lack of economic enlightenment. Challengers might say
    something like: “Well, not every restriction on housing development makes housing
    less affordable,” but such a challenger would be tendentious and churlish
    .

    This is scientific proof that liberals, pinkos and commies are churls and knaves.

  17. JMP

    [re=595527]Crank Tango[/re]: Because Zogby’s a nonpartisan hack; he’ll run incredibly biased polls for anyone who’ll hire him.

  18. Gorillionaire

    [re=595512]JMP[/re]: Man it is good to see Pandagon linked. I don’t get back to that blog enough. Good stuff.

  19. JMP

    [re=595553]trondant[/re]: After reading (well, glancing at) your link, I checked out the original implant post, and sure enough it appears several Freepers have shown up to bravely defend their masturbation fodder’s honor. At least, I think so; their comments are rather incoherent.

  20. Lascauxcaveman

    [re=595533]edgydrifter[/re]: (Meekly raises hand) I know every lyric to every song (and large swaths of dialogue) in The Music Man, My Fair Lady, Guys and Dolls, Fiddler on the Roof, Oliver, Damn Yankees, Wizard of Oz, The King & I, and a big chunk of Oklahoma. Oh, and the Muppet Christmas Carol, too (a very underrated film, BTW.)

    Straight as an arrow. No, I can’t explain it, either. Just a freak of nature I guess.

  21. Lazy Media

    [re=595607]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: Another one here. I was in my early ’20s, sitting in a piano bar singing along, and the piano player stopped and asked, “How do you know all these songs?”

  22. queeraselvis v 2.0

    [re=595553]trondant[/re]: Apparently the Freepers haven’t heard of the weapons we gays/queers carry… IN OUR PANTS. Amirite, Roscoe? Bearbloke? Kev-O-Tron?

  23. JMP

    [re=595553]trondant[/re]: And now, I thing I’ve found my favorite Freeper comment ever:

    “They’re just jealous that she’s got a nice rack.

    She is a beautiful woman. Pretty face and a great body. But she doesn’t seem to be the nasty self absorbed narcissist. We all know those women, who are physically attractive yet when you get to know her you find out she’s got a nasty disposition and is a giant pain in the ass.”

    HAHAHAHHA; and what? This person says Palin, of all people, does not appear to be a nasty self absorbed narcissist? Really? What’s next, “Water doesn’t seem to be at all wet”?

  24. Aramel

    And in another embarrassing example of “olds trying to be cool”, Republicans have just now found out about the term “Epic Fail”. Too bad they have now ruined forever the only way that ad could possibly be described.

  25. Potater

    [re=595689]JMP[/re]: Well have you looked at water lately? It doesn’t *look* wet, but then you touch it, and OHMYGAWD it’s wet!

    Of course if it’s water from the Gulf it’s dry and solid. Hyuk hyuk hyuk *guzzles Jack Daniel’s*

  26. lochnessmonster

    Toddlers & tiaras Reminds me of the recent clips like the three year old filmed sitting on a cushion while adults dance to Lady Gaga around her…yuck!

  27. JSDC007

    Gee, I wonder if that teabagging Atty. General Cuccipucci of Virginia will investigate Daniel Klein of JMU (a VA state school) for wasting taxpayer dollars on garbage polls.

    “Do you know that your wife is blowing your poolboy?”

    Yes. (Libertarian)
    No. (Wall St. blood-sucking Repub.)
    I’m balling the poolboy too, but I’m not gay. (Christian conservative)
    I work three jobs, and can’t afford a poolboy (Democrat)
    Is the poolboy getting healthcare benefits? Syphillis treatments are expensive (liberal).

    Answers 1-2-3 are correct! Yay. Answers 4-5, you are a loser who doesn’t understand anything.

  28. Zorg

    The Zogby questions are more about assumptions regarding economic justice, which is actually more closely related to moral philosophy, than to the Dismal Science, although social economics is a school of economics. Good old Wikipedia has this factoid about economists, though, “A 2002 International Monetary Fund study looked at “consensus forecasts” (the forecasts of large groups of economists) that were made in advance of 60 different national recessions in the ’90s: in 97% of the cases the economists did not predict the contraction a year in advance. On those rare occasions when economists did successfully predict recessions, they significantly underestimated their severity.”

  29. tribbzthesquidz

    Woo wee those Zogby questions are mighty subjective and situational. Fuck those people.

  30. DC Hates Me

    I also have a problem with the Zogby poll crap. Using trends as facts is fallacious. Nor did it prove that liberals were uninformed, but having a different policy view (precautious, idealistic). Using the logic of the poll, Liberal states and households (ie North East) should be doing worse, economically than libertarian heavy states and households (ie Mid West). But the opposite is true.

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