Some Republican nobody running for Senate in Missouri has stopped wearing his shockingly awful toupee, for “transparency.” Also, if the photos above can be believed, he has also stopped dressing like a Old West brothel owner. Still showing a certain detachment from reality, he says “I’ve removed my hair” (dude, it is not your hair, it is a monstrous slab of petroleum-based artificial fibers) and floated the possibility that he would auction it off “if there are any offers” (from Japanese perverts). [Fox]
WE HOPE HE BURNED IT
June 9, 2010
Radical New Political Strategy: Not Looking Like A God-Damned Clown
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{ 78 comments }
Robin Williams?
I’m sure there are people out there who would be happy to jack off on his rug. Please keep us updated.
Robin Williams, nooooo!
I did not know Sam Donaldson was running for Senate; he looks very different without his piece.
Oh, bless his heart.
[re=595350]dum librul[/re]: You win *this time*, dl.
It’s pretty uncanny.
“Bald joke-littered coverage followed the announcement — it remains to be seen whether the senator’s new look will offer a plug to his race or whether he’s going “toupee” for his decision.”
Okay, Fox has pretty much laid this one bald.
[re=595359]Mad Brahms[/re]: We’ll know for certain if at the first debate he plays himself, his opponent, and the moderator.
ACTING like a god-damned clown, still okay for the GOP though
Ugh, I was eating. We need a NSWE – Not Safe While Eating – warning.
Congratulations! you transformed from shady used car dealer into divorced HR rep. Good for you!
who’s the lesbian on the right?
At least he’s not a homo.
well this change makes all the difference now, doesn’t it
I’ll comment when I stop laughing at the tags.
Why would anyone think it was a good idea to wear a ShamWow® on your head?
Mr. Haney Goes to Washington
Yeah, he did look like an employee at Tombstone’s Bird Cage Theater
Someone should gently break it to him that while he has taken care of the problem on top of his head, the problem on the front of it persists unabated.
[re=595361]the problem child[/re]: Fox has a bad male pattern of bare puns; their articles should be combed over to find them and they should be thrown under the rug.
Considering that he’s contesting the seat of Roy “Medicare has never done anything to make people more healthy” Blunt, maybe the clown getup was more apropos.
So now he wears a transparent toupee?
He’s wearing all that stuff ironically. Photographer made him take off the trucker hat.
Just don’t start talking about your carpet, dude, please.
Aw, his prize-winning guinea pig died. http://darkel.tripod.com/CavyMandarin-801abf.jpg
I haven’t really cared for him since he left “Life Goes On.”
Why is the the wingers all look like walking Amber Alerts?
I know who this is — he played Mr. Wint, the patchouli cologne guy, in “Diamonds Are Forever.”
Also: Can we see a deathmatch between this guy’s Moe toupee and the roadkill on James Traficant’s head?
No more rug-burns on his head, but in so doing, he’s got rid of one of his family heirlooms.
[re=595389]Come here a minute[/re]:
Like Superwoman? That’s kind of great, actually.
Anyone read the article at FUX? I’m not kidding:
Whether Purgason’s idea was a hair-brained campaign stunt or just an attempt to give the dome some breathing room for summer, it nevertheless drew added attention to his campaign. Bald joke-littered coverage followed the announcement — it remains to be seen whether the senator’s new look will offer a plug to his race or whether he’s going “toupee” for his decision.
Fucking Lametarded rightwing what passes for humor.
Can Layne banhammer at FUX?
“Former Child Star Howdy Doody Is Bucking For Senate Seat”
Is he gonna sell it on ebay or craigslist? Or just an auction at the local teabag meeting house?
[re=595350]dum librul[/re]: damn, first comment.
[re=595399]Red Zeppelin[/re]: Because you are what you grope, Red.
[re=595393]Hemp Dogbane[/re]: and his “pagernutz”
[re=595401]memzilla[/re]: My thoughts exactly.
I didn’t know James Traficant, and you Sir, .. are no James Traficant
http://estergoldberg.typepad.com/.a/6a0105349ca980970c0120a58eb43f970c-320wi
Dude on the right is the sidekick for the world’s fastest Japanese fiddler now appearing in Branson.
[re=595378]memzilla[/re]: HEY!
Following up to the Nevada pronounseeayeshun war, the mostest important issue is not iffin Mr. Purgason is fond of duct taping a dead possum to hiz head, but if he’s a realz person from mih-ZUR-uh and not one of those corporate interlopers or post Jesse James assholes from mih-ZUR-ee.
Tell me I’m not the only one who IMMEDIATELY thought of that lesbian murderer-wife on the HBO series True Love!!! The one who is married to the head of the splinter polygamist sect? The one that dresses like a man the whole time?
Today, we are all cast-off toupees.
[re=595428]sigerson[/re]: Yup, it’s Selma! (Roman’s sister/brother also)
Bubba’s gotta big bouffant off, on the non-neon, non-neon side of town.
[re=595428]sigerson[/re]: mmmmmm … Lesbian Mormon Vampires.
He should follow Sarah Palin’s lead and get a nice boob job.
Liked the “before” look better
M-O-O-N, that spells toupee.
That’s what happens to Republicans when they campaign on Indian reservations.
No one must know his secret… It’s not like anyone could figure it out.
Cue labored, fundamentalist, teabag Samson comparison in 3…2…1…
I’d prefer it if he reverted back to this look.
I grew up in a little town in Western Nebraska (Ranching Community)and that’s exactly how the folks dress to go to Church.
[re=595428]sigerson[/re]: I too immediately thought of the Greens from Big Love. But doesn’t he kinda look more like the big guy, the enforcer, with the Three Stooges haircut?
[re=595474]Escape Goat Nation[/re]:
So he wears his “church” hair as opposed to his “everyday” hair?
[re=595439]southern mark smith[/re]: Have you seen the show? Not too much “mmmmmm” about Selma Green. She’s so ugly pigs randomly attack her. For reference – if you haven’t seen the show – she’s the bartender from the Hornitos ads.
Also, for other Big Love fans, have any of you read Under the Banner of Heaven? My wife has and she tells me the Greens are based on a real Mormon sect that lives in Mexico, smokes pot, and has homo sex.
[re=595479]ManchuCandidate[/re]: Yep, and wears his good hooks instead of his work hooks.
(Old timer Ranchers are mangled up mother fuckers.)
Where can you buy clothes like that? St. Vincent de Paul?
BREAKING NEWS: South Carolina Governor-to-be Nikki Haley hit that, toupee version!!!
If I had a toupe like that, I’d shave my dog and train it to walk backwards.
Wait. What?
The new face of the Republican Party?
Yep (Southernism to follow): Nikki Knickers would be all over that “like white on rice.”
With that blank, slack jawed expression on his face I’m thinking that must be furry brain slug on his head.
http://futurama.wikia.com/wiki/Brain_Slug
Can we have video? I’m guessing femme.
[re=595511]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: Even worse. Think of red-dyed beard:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HXB0lN1jJzg&feature=related
[re=595424]weejee[/re]: Um, he pretty much screams Missourah, not Missouree. The saddest part is the he’s probably just about the only Republican who might be able to take the nomination from lobbyist loveslave Roy Blunt.
Somewhere in Missouri, a village (Branson, judging from the outfit) is missing its idiot.
[re=595482]biznesskommunity[/re]: I have. I was referencing the (possible) conflating of the two HBO shows.
[re=595519]assistant/atlas[/re]: wouldn’t he be easier beat?
[re=595528]eyesfriedopen[/re]: Branson’s a good guess since he looks like the vision of a love child of Minnie Pearl and a crawdaddie from Lake Tanycomo.
Damn, another GOP furry.
[re=595476]biznesskommunity[/re]: They’re getting so inbred, they probably all do look alike.
[re=595540]southern mark smith[/re]: Ohhh, I missed the “True Love” line you were responding to. Darry! Personally, I would prefer Real Big Sex or Compound Confessions.
He’s missing the Truck Nutz phone, but I’m sure he make up for it with his oratory skills.
[re=595424]weejee[/re]: If one of Jesse James’ descendants or some member of the Younger family were to run on a platform of killing all the investment bankers and oil execs, I’d vote him. (Remember, Jesse only robbed people who deserved it!)
Zhu Bajie
Chuck P. really sang, screwed up eyes and screwed down hairdo
Like some cat from Japan…
For fucking real, Japan, MO!
I’ll admit, with the rug he looks 20 years younger . . . and a bit like a leprechaun.
“I’ve removed my hair…” So said the candidate- but he didn’t tell the whole story. An un-named source close to the candidate has now revealed that the photographer actually suggested that, if he was genuinely serious about making himself look presentable, he’d also remove his head…
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