It was a historic and unlikely victory for Freedom when the Roberts Court ruled 5-4 that the accused have the right to “trial by a jury of their twitter followers” before being FedEx-ed to Gitmo. Well boo-hoo someone call the ACLU, because Judge Zagel, the jerk presiding over the Blagojevich trial, decided to plop a big ol’ poop on the Bill of Rights and hundreds of years of legal precedent!
A federal judge on Tuesday ordered former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich not to tweet in court during his corruption trial.
The flamboyant Blagojevich (D) — who was removed from office last year — had planned to live-tweet his trial under the handle @governorrod, which was created earlier this month.
This hardly comes as a surprise to Blagojevich, who is black and knows how the U.S. legal system treats his people. [The Hill: Twitter Room]
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No justice, no tweet.
Star witness to be Orly Taitz.
“@govenorrod”?, … this man is a National Treasure.
The Rodolution won’t be Twitterized
“Governor Rod”: wasn’t he a porn star from the 1970s?
Spare the Rod, spoil the jury.
#tard #funhaterjudge
Rod Blagojevich: single-handedly keeping the non-euphemistic use of “flamboyant” alive since late 2008.
Since Blago’s lawyers, assuming they have half a brain between them, must have told him repeatedly “Don’t tweet during the trial, you dumb shit; and shut and stop talking to the media, really do you have such a fucking giant-ass martyr complex that you want to be convicted;” I’m sure they argued strenuously on behalf of his right to further humiliate himself.
Speaking of goofy hair styles, who’s the female Lemonhead in the granny glasses stuck on the Wonkette logo? Did she used to be famous or something? Seriously, does she have a 99-year lease on the domain name?
Meanwhile, Whosis Whatsit, the latest defector, I have August 7 locked down for “returning guest emeritus commentator” by the way. The pool is filling up fast. Better place your bets.
Today, we all part our hair on the dark side. Freedum from tearany!!!1!
Swing low, tweet chariot.
You can take his tweets when you pry them from his cold dead twat.
Exhibit A that Twitter is for Twits — Lindsay Lohan Twits
Exhibit B that Twitter is for Twits — Blago Twits
I don’t see how a man can get a fair and impartial hearing if he’s not allowed to livetweet his court experience. Maybe he’ll be able to do better after he’s jailed for contempt. Oh yes, I’m definitely betting he gets jailed for contempt at least once before the trial’s over — or else it’s not the Blago we’ve come to know.
Only Nazis hate twatterers.
[re=595561]GreenHalo[/re]: that’s wonkette. yes, she used to be famous or something.
[re=595588]you cannot be serious[/re]: I invoke Godtwit’s Law
[re=595561]GreenHalo[/re]: Famous for her immodest boinking (buttsecks) and blogging, if I’m not mistaken. God bless her, she opened her legs and our eyes to the furious pace of Capitol Hill hubba hubba.
[re=595561]GreenHalo[/re]: Is it just me, or did the percentage of unfunny haters ’round here go WAY up in the past few days?
Yes, hard to believe, since this has become such a male-y male place of old spice and high karate, but the original, founding editor of Wonkette was/is the lovely Anne Marie Cox, whose name just proves how much she loves following capital city boy toys (even though it was Greta Van Susteren who once saved her life. On a train. Not Joe Biden, who is always on a train, just not a train of thought. She now works her mojo at GQ magazine and can often be seen playing footsie with Rachael Maddow on the Rachael Maddow Shoe Show.
[re=595543]Suds McKenzie[/re]: I think it is becoming a trend: people who insist on using the name “Governor” when they are not, and is a clear sign of either corruption or personal failure, Governor Rod please meet First Dude Todd and Governor Palin.
I tweet in SecondLife.
[re=595603]Senile Agitation[/re]: I thought it was the chick off to one side, in the notorious photos, who took it up the butt, told all, and then had a society white wedding. As always, I could be wrong. But damn, either way, how about a new masthead?
[re=595611]Lazy Media[/re]: Hey, you live by the lob, you die by the lob. Fair is fair. Gut-butt androgynous adulterous sexytime with same-sex interns much? Grow some skin already.
I mean, I’m on your side. Grow some extra skin on top of the other skin.
[re=595611]Lazy Media[/re]: it’s a speculative bubble. now is not the time to be investing in unfunny haters, they’re way overpriced. you can probably score some sweet deals now on hilarious lovers, witty likers, and amusing appreciaters. move quickly, though. the market could turn without a moment’s notice.
You wait.
I predict that soon we are all going to be victimized by a novel where Twitter is the setting, theme, and main character. This will be preceded by or followed by a Hollywood movie about, starring, and featuring Twitters.
They’ll call it “Citizen’s Band 2.”
(Yeah, verily, I am olde enow to recall CB radio, and, my children, it did have claims similar, down to the smallest detail, to the Twits. It was to be the very revolution. All we got from it, alas, was trucker hats.)
Rod, though, will find a way of smuggling out pieces of toilet paper with his twits on them. He just needs to find spitballs small enough to fit the message.
[re=595631]GreenHalo[/re]: i loves me some wonkette, with her spry looks, petite mouth, button nose (okay, it’s not a button. still…), and limpid blue eyes (as i recall, they were blue…).
don’t ever change, wonkette. one glance at you takes me back to ought-four, when buttseks was all the rage and hopey was but a twinkle in the nation’s eye.
RT @ezola: J’ACCUSE Monsieur le President, Me permittez-vous http://bit.ly/jzdZ2 #dreyfusaffair
[re=595611]Lazy Media[/re]: Well you know what they say about haters: their hating is imminent and inevitable. They are, in short, gon’ hate.
[re=595566]facehead[/re]: That shit is funny! ’nuff said.
[re=595561]GreenHalo[/re]: Don’t you be dissin’ Ms. Cox. Would you erase Colonel Sanders from your bucket of KFC? Blaspheming philistine.
[re=595659]gurukalehuru[/re]: Agreed. Leave Ana Marie ALOOOOONNNNEEE!
[re=595657]progressiveinga[/re]: Excelsior!
Yes, keep Ana Marie!
Hey! He said that it is all due to the CORRUPT politicians coming after HIM for favors, not the other way around…so everyone who thinks he did something wrong can go home!
I predict that when conviction looks certain, Blago will flee to the Serbian consulate in Chicago, demand asylum!
Why are we talking about Ana Marie? My mind is aflame with anal violation scenarios enough as it is. Let’s not gild the lily shall we?
[re=595768]Mr Blifil[/re]: It’s paint the lily, or gild the sunrise… um… with buttsecks! But seriously, unless they were fraternal twins, don’t make me look it up and post a link. Whatever else her sins, I’m pretty sure Ana Marie wasn’t the one who took it up the pooper a million times, wrote a detailed and remorseless roman a clef, and then dynamically exited the pseudonomic closet with a C4 charge and a stun grenade.
[re=595776]GreenHalo[/re]: That would be Washingtonienne, and she doesn’t hold a candle to our beloved AMC.
[re=595776]GreenHalo[/re]: Aka Jessica Cutler…although I believe she married! And procreated!! She’ll have some explaining to do in about 15 years.
Ah, Serbia! It’s Slavic for South Carolina.
Rod was a Shoe Shine Boy, so perhaps his tweethandle should be @governorunderdog. And his wife could be @sweetpattypurebred.
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