IT'S MORNING IN AMERICA  8:40 am June 9, 2010

Other Non-Liveblogged Primaries Also Merit Your Attention!

by Josh Fruhlinger

  • She never laid off 30,000 people, I betAnd now, the primary results you’ve all been waiting for … the race for the GOP nomination for South Carolina’s first congressional district! Wait, you weren’t waiting for this? Well, fuck you. Strom Thurmond’s son advanced to a runoff against the only black Republican in South Carolina’s state legislature. Bet you think it’s interesting now, huh? Jerk. [WP]
  • Also in South Carolina: The establishment Democrat who had raised $200K for the honor of losing to Jim DeMint ended up getting clobbered by some unemployed lunatic, who will lose to Jim DeMint even more embarrassingly. [WP]
  • Remember Sally Kern, the Oklahoma state legislator who said a bunch of hilariously overblown and viciously cruel things about the gays? Well, her opponent in November will probably be a transgender woman. [Tulsa World]
  • Day One of the top California general elections and everybody’s already being mean. Brown on Whitman: “Do you hire somebody who … says, ‘Hey, I woke up one morning, I have this money, I think I’ll be governor’?” Boxer on Fiorina: “She has a horrific record, she hardly ever voted, she laid off 30,000 workers, she shipped their jobs to China, to Europe, to India. People suffered, she got all these perks and so I really look forward to this race.” Fiorina on Boxer: “on the very fringe of American politics,” “destructive elitism,” etc. [WP, WP]
  • Oh, also, the Dutch are having their primary (or “election”) today! Look for the election to be won by crazy anti-Muslim parties, maybe, or left-wing ones? It is hard to tell, they have so many parties over there! [NYT]
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4tehlulz June 9, 2010 at 8:46 am


Monsieur Grumpe June 9, 2010 at 8:51 am

I don’t know Josh, many people seem to consider unemployed lunatic desirable traits these days.

ThePuckStopsHere June 9, 2010 at 8:51 am

But wait, I heard Whitman say last night that California voters had nominated “two women who know how to create jobs.” I guess she forgot to mention that those jobs weren’t in the United States. Necessarily.

charlesdegoal June 9, 2010 at 8:53 am

Those elections in Holland are complicated by the presence of the avatar of Mark Rudd and the ghost of Vincent van Gogh, not to speak of the relatively uncomplicated availability of mood altering substances other than beer. Also, in a small country with a relatively large population, many people want to get elected to office, if only for the fun of it, which accounts for the high number of political parties. It makes your two-party primaries seem a tad tedious.

gurukalehuru June 9, 2010 at 9:06 am

I think “Greene Creams Demint” would make a lovely headline.

Chernobyl Soup June 9, 2010 at 9:06 am

I’m trying to think of an example of destructive elitism but all I can come up with is William Kennedy Smith.

freakishlystrong June 9, 2010 at 9:14 am

Boxer is “on the very fringe of American politics”? Oh, Demon Sheeptress, you must get out more.

JadedDIssonance June 9, 2010 at 9:28 am

What the fuck just happened? Did everyone quit to write chicken-soup-for-the-soul-books?

ManchuCandidate June 9, 2010 at 9:33 am

Dunno. Two of my comments disappeared.

druranium June 9, 2010 at 9:34 am

I’ll be the rage. DAMN YOU LAYNE AND YOUR SHODDY COMPUTORS! Weep, weep for the multitude of snarky comic gold your negligence has caused!

This country is dead.

Terry June 9, 2010 at 9:35 am

Yay for Oklahoma. I hope Brittany Novotny gives Kern a good run for her money at the very least. That is going to be an AWESOME race.

rastignac June 9, 2010 at 9:36 am

Wonketteers, myself included, are simply stunned into silence this morning by the electoral demise of our beloved Oily Taintz. But all US Americans must realize that she is not a quitter like Sarah!

JMP June 9, 2010 at 9:38 am

Man, someone must be really harshing the Netherland’s buzz if they’re gonna elect a bunch of Arizona-teabagger-style racists. And here I thought those guys were cool.

Vulpes82 June 9, 2010 at 9:40 am

Even more interesting: that black Republican is another one of Strom’s black maid babies!

dr.giraud June 9, 2010 at 9:45 am

[re=595105]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: Also, he’s an “unemployed” lunatic, not an unemployable lunatic. I have faith that South Carolinians can parse the difference.

McDuff June 9, 2010 at 9:47 am

Any votes in Nederland for the “I Love Joran van der Sloot Party”?

JMP June 9, 2010 at 9:55 am

[re=595135]druranium[/re]: Maybe Jim took the good serves with him; our Wonkette’s now being hosted from a revamped Commodore 64. Load “MorninginAmerica”,8,1

dum librul June 9, 2010 at 10:05 am

Probably just a bunch of “LOL tranneez” posts got lost in the Wonkett server black hole. That’s a good Wonkett.

Potater June 9, 2010 at 10:48 am

Like totes not kewl

Come here a minute June 9, 2010 at 10:49 am

[re=595110]gurukalehuru[/re]: Or a lovely dessert!

proudgrampa June 9, 2010 at 11:02 am

Ah, Orly — we hardly knew ye.

But what we did know was fucking plenty. Good riddance.

druranium June 9, 2010 at 11:12 am

[re=595155]JMP[/re]: you know it. The ones and zeroes were not so easily corralled on Ken’s computor tonight.

Run basic
print secrets

[re=595159]dum librul[/re]: Are you a troll cause you suck. hur hur dum librul, lemme know.

karen June 9, 2010 at 11:14 am

Good lord, Kern just looks like a bible-thumpin’ cunt nugget.

spanielmander June 9, 2010 at 11:28 am

Good Lord, the filing fee to run for Senate in South Carolina is $10,000? That’s absurd! How is that legal??

dum librul June 9, 2010 at 12:20 pm

[re=595245]druranium[/re]: Not a troll, no. Just noticed over time that some very brilliant Wonkette commenters, and progressive internet dwellers everywhere, suddenly think “haw haw Y chromosome” is the height of humor whenever trans people are brought up. It makes me angrier than Ken Layne at an iPhone Nutz divorce trial.

thefrontpage June 9, 2010 at 12:25 pm

Who’s the girl in the picture? She’s cute.

JMP June 9, 2010 at 12:28 pm

[re=595353]thefrontpage[/re]: See the Nickelodeon logo in the corner? Pedophile.

Suds McKenzie June 9, 2010 at 1:11 pm

Paul Thurmond is “Too Hot” for the Senate.

ty Gawker

bamaboy June 9, 2010 at 3:39 pm

So ‘ol Oily is out?

when David Duke ran for goober of Louisiana, one of my friends voted for him on the grounds that David was so vile, if elected, he would surely be assasinated.

Makes sense. Maybe not much, but some.

desertwind June 9, 2010 at 4:07 pm

[re=595226]proudgrampa[/re]: You cain’t get rid of the Taint that easily, my good man.

Sparky McGruff June 9, 2010 at 4:33 pm

[re=595365]JMP[/re]: Made me look. She (Miranda Cosgrove) is 17. Have to hold back the pervy thoughts for one whole year.

Mad Farmer Manifest June 9, 2010 at 5:18 pm

[re=595696]Sparky McGruff[/re]: My kids watch that show. It’s not bad. It’s not good either, but basically harmless. Makes me wonder if the TV shows that I watched as a kids were that lame. Probably, and I just didn’t know it. Crap, I’m getting old.

doctor_fu June 11, 2010 at 1:10 am

thefrontpage: Christ, I read the alt text as “she never laid 30,000 people, I bet.” Whoops.

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