What is happening tonight?! As usual, nobody knows anything because the polls have just closed on the East Coast and we are many hours away from polls closing on the West Coast and who knows what’s happening in Arkansas? (We actually know! Polls have closed, and few were even open, the better to beat Blanche Lincoln! The voting authorities are apparently trying to keep her from winning. Is Arkansas some ex-Soviet Republic? You’d think!) Let us commence the liveblogging, and please keep your tips flowing freely like the alcohol in your glass, and “follow us on the Twitter,” etc. Make sure to keep your little “I Voted” stickers, too, in case the cops show up later needing proof. It could happen!
8:30 PM — South Carolina’s favorite Republican lady candidate who denies having multiple extramarital sex affairs, Nikki Haley, needs 50% to actually win tonight. She’s only got 43% right now, with 19% of precincts reporting. But she’ll resign if she wins the nomination and then wins the actual governor’s seat *IF* it is somehow proven (with a sex tape? an old condom?) that she had sexytime with various other Republicans all over the Palmetto State. Wonkette endorses Nikki Haley, obviously.
8:36 PM — So the Commander of Elections in Arkansas decided, “eh, who cares about this runoff,” so he closed half the polling places for today’s voting, but promised he’d open one “special early voting” place last Saturday, but then put up signs saying early voting is illegal in Arkansas for runoffs, too bad lamers!
8:41 PM — But with a very few votes counted, Lincoln has 53%.
8:50 PM — And, tragically, your editor in California was unable to vote for Orly Taitz. Why this stomping of the Constitution? Your editor is registered as a Democrat this time around, which means he can only vote in the Dem primary and not for all the crazy Republican people such as Orly and Meg and Carly.
9:13 PM — More than half the S.C. vote is in, and Nikki Haley’s at 48% … two points shy of what she needs in order to avoid a runoff and win the general and then resign for sexytime.
9:15 PM — Thanks to operative cpcates for sending this latest journalistic trend example, “10 Things You Did Not Know About Nikki Haley.” Does it feature her favorite Sarah Palin Facebook posts? The best motels for Palmetto State third rate romance?
9:24 PM — Thank you, Rachel Maddow, for pronouncing “Nevada” correctly. Jesus lord it drives your editor (who lived in Northern Nevada for many years) to hear East Coast Media people mangle the very easy pronunciation “NEV- because they’d never heard anybody say Nevada:
9:28 PM — With 7.7% reporting, Blanche Lincoln has 52.9%. Bill Halter can still win this! And the White House has been all, “meh, and maybe he should. MAYBE HE SHOULD.” Because Blanche Lincoln is a corporate sellout, mannn.
9:32 PM — And now we are going to have Dinner, like people need to have sometimes, and will be back shortly. If anything insane happens tonight, it will be during the few minutes we leave the Newsroom. So please fill the comments with Craziness while we’re out. NO WAIT WE ARE GOING TO START A NEW ONE, FOR “FUN.”
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Will this auto-update, or do I have to press Reload like a chump?
Voted for Orly this morning!
Ken, you were disenfranchised!
Vincent Sheheen wins SC-GOV (D) primary. No runoff.
Who’s Vincent Sheheen? What’s ‘SC’?
For shame. Orly has to win this primary if only to show how bat shit crazy the republican candidates all over the country are.
Isn’t California voting also on a Louisiana-style “jungle primary” system? Which sounds creepy & exciting at the same time.
I registered as a Republican in California for the sole purpose of proudly casting my vote for Oily Taitz. I am so happy today.
Via the ever-insightful Nate Silver:
With 16 total votes — not counties, not precincts — 538 calls the North Dakota Republican Senate primary for Gov. John Hoeven. He’s running unopposed.
Good call.
[re=594840]chascates[/re]: We’re not YET in a “jungle primary” system (which I like to call a “jungle fever primary” because of the interracial sexytime). However, we are voting today on whether to switch to one. I don’t know what the initiative was actually called, but I call it the “Can We Make Kah-Lee-For-Nee-Ya Any More Nutty? Initiative.”
Stephen Strasburg is kickin’ ass for the Nationals. 14 strike outs!
[re=594845]YesWeKant[/re]: [re=594844]chascates[/re]: As a goo-goo good government guy, I’m in favor of the jungle primary because it won’t produce candidates like Orly Taitz. As a member of the Wonkette commentariat, I wish I’d voted against it — didn’t see the Repub primary ballot when I voted absentee as a Democrat. Damn, I was disenfranchised too, just like women before 1920 and Blacks before 1964!
Well, almost like that.
Mrs. Boozeweek will be gettin’ it Jungle-style tonight!
[re=594835]Dr. Spaceman[/re]: We do not have auto-reloading technology, I’m sorry. You must reload like a chump.
On the other hand, if we did gain auto-reload technology — putting an auto reload bit of code in the HTML here — it would drive everybody crazy! And generate phony “new page views,” like goddamned Drudge Report.
SF Gate obtains portion of Meg Whitman’s victory speech:
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/nov05election/detail?blogid=14&entry_id=65331#ixzz0qJP5ERv7
“Thank you so much … What a great night! This victory is yours! I just received a very gracious phone call from Steve Poizner conceding the race.”
[re=594842]RPolanski[/re]: I was a Registered Republican for several fun years in California, so I could vote for JOHN McCAIN! This is true. He was running against GWBushJr in the GOP primary and I thought it would be awesome for Bush to lose to McCain, who of course would lose to … Gore? Maybe I didn’t really think that out.
[re=594846]chascates[/re]: I know his wife, she’s from my town… Wooo! Go Stephen & Rachel!
Sharron Angle who is all about the freedom for anyone but her and her christian friends fucking off and dying could win tonight, and for that I am excited.
She is a former substitute teacher so she has seen all the best society has to offer. And to think she probably worked for the public schools during that time and then the publicly funded Western Nevada Community College. Now she is all about quitting the UN, ending Social Security etc. Another one of the I got mine “fuck you” tea party candidates.
[re=594853]Ken Layne[/re]: Yeah, you have to be careful trying to vote for the lemon. I’ve seen several times where what that gives you is rancid lemonade. Dan Walker as Gov. of Illinois, and glow-in-the-dark Dixie Lee Ray in Warshington. But it can be fun in a twisted way.
I am terribly sorry I forgot to register as a repub here in Nevada, for the lols. So I consider myself disenfranchised too, only having the choice of Harry something, and a bunch of other slobs who I’ve never heard of except for Rory Reid, due to name recognition only.
I’ve been enjoying the endless barrage of Whitman and Poizner ads. The entirety of their platform seems to be: “Don’t vote for , they are not the “real conservative”. They are dirty liberals. I am the real conservative”
Picture thousands of sweaty republicans panicking in polling places tonight, desperately racking their brains, praying to Cheesus, trying to deduce who the real conservative truly is.
[re=594858]druranium[/re]: I am pretty sure there is no deduction going on, as that would require rational thought. I have noticed that many republicans do not think rationally. I am sure they will pick the candidate based upon the last ad they saw that mentioned Cheesus of Hickory Farms.
That was a pretty entertaining NBC Nightly News report on Nevada. Do they still do interesting (if a little pointless) reports? I’m going to guess no.
“Leave the newsroom” for “dinner?” Have the frickin’ intern GO GET dinner; that’s what they’re for. Unless, of course, “dinner” means “rifling through the desks, clawing for that lost rock of crack from the LAST lame primary we live-blogged.”
Gah.
All we’ve got in my CD is Cantor and he doesn’t have a challenger. I hope that the repubs nominate the most obnoxious teabagger candidates they can find. Even if a few of them slip through the general election, they’ll be vacating the next cycle.
[re=594858]druranium[/re]: I am the pusher robot. I will protect you. I will protect you from the terrible secret of space.
Turban-wearing sexpot Nikki Haley is now at 50.4% with 18 of 46 counties reporting.
People on the east coast will pronounce Nevada how they wish, having given it permission to exist in the first place.
Nate the skate at 538 is booking Lincoln at 7:2. Still find it a bit of an intellectual disconnect having somebody name of Lincoln running for office in Arkansas. Wonder how many votes ol’ Blanche loses there just cause of her hubby’s name?
[re=594864]Blender[/re]: Where Ken is it means “going outside with the .22 and shooting and roasting a desert armadillo.”
AP is calling SC Gov race a runoff which would giv. Nikki lots of time to ‘impress’ more voters.
[re=594869]j6n[/re]: Agreed
[re=594873]imissopus[/re]: Shouldn’t he have had that sucker duct-taped to the exhaust manifold some hours back if’in he’s gonna eat it tonight? And why shoot one? They’re usually easy pickin’s on the side of the road and with a bit of 18-wheeler tenderizing makes for a great roadkill du jour treat.
O/T but funny. Did anyone else see Time’s coverage of the Facebook group that has 100,000 followers who want to plug the oil spill with Sarah Palin?
“We have been presented with the opportunity to not only plug the worst oil spill in U.S. history, but also the opportunity to finally find a purpose for Sarah Palin, the erstwhile former vice-presidential candidate and current $100,000-a-gig convention speaker.”
42% in. Lincoln 51, Halter 49
Yawn. Progressives just aren’t funny. Well their politics are.
http://www.myspace.com/officialpsychicsidekick
[re=594875]Ripley_in_CT[/re]: Says the gal from what’s it called, Connectyerwhatzit?
Well, tonight’s been a great season finale for Glee, some of those performances were amazing, and the juxtaposition with the Queen and the… oh wait, what were we talking about?
[re=594874]chascates[/re]: Hm, wonder if I have time to change my registration to SC Repub. in time for the runoff and ask for favors for my vote…
[re=594853]Ken Layne[/re]: I did the exact same thing. I even gave $10 to his campaign. I met him at the Hyatt in Albuquerque; he shook my hand (sort of) and said I was “a great American”. I still have the autographed bumper sticker. Was that the right thing to do? WHO KNOWS!
My lame state had some lame primaries last week, in which nearly all Dems ran unopposed (fuckin’ Harry Teague), so I guess I’m just a spectator to Democracy, now.
[re=594879]psychicsidekick[/re]: Huh; I’ve seen trolls and I’ve seen blogwhores; seen summer days that I’ve thought would never end; but I’d never thought I’d see trolls & blogwhores become one and the same.
The mispronunciation of Nevada is not near so ear-torturingly agonizing as hearing Easterners say “Or-a-GAHN”
[re=594883]JMP[/re]: That’s the price we pay for the existence of Gawker. Poor Newell.
[re=594877]Katydid[/re]: I actually joined that group the other day. See if you can guess which one I am.
[re=594869]j6n[/re]: The only person I have ever heard pronounce it the way that NBC report says it should be was George W Bush, so that means it is definitely wrong, because he can never be right.
Yawnnn. Minnesoda has no sexy primaries tonight. So, Instead, I made pasta and Ragu Bolognese for the spouse and I. It was really good! And, I feel strangely lethargic regarding sexy primaries………(Although, I might wake up if it turns out really bat-shit folks are winning….) Bonus to pasta sleepiness…Twins are kicking KC’s butt…………
“At this point, every poll says the two Democrats are only vying for the opportunity to be trounced in November,” said Janine Parry, a political scientist at the University of Arkansas.
LINKBAN says Halter 51, Lincoln 49 with 52% reporting?
South Carolina’s esteemed chaw-spittin’ judiciary has, just today, taken another brave step backward to guarantee us decades of moron-driven electoral hilarity, by outlawing motorcycle helmets!
http://www.thesunnews.com/2010/06/08/1519935/supreme-court-rules-myrtle-beach.html
Because a vote without brain injuries is like a day without teabags.
[re=594892]TJBeck[/re]: The fix concurs with:
55% in. Halter 51, Lincoln 49
[re=594885]chascates[/re]: It’s even more poor Ken; having too do a liveblog by himself, when he, Jim, Sara and sometime Juli used to get a chance to trade off. Enduring three straight hours of CNN even without having to comment on it would not be a fate I’d wish on anybody.
And of the former Editors, I pity Juli the most; if Neilist joined the Vanity Fair commenters, he’d provide a breath of sanity; it’s nothing but right-wingers and idiots who “correct” obvious jokes.
[re=594892]TJBeck[/re]: WaPo (thanks Chascates!) has the same numbers for Halter and Lincoln, with 57% reporting.
The suspense!
Jesus, Silver’s got up one of his bizarre charts on the Arkansas race:
http://www.fivethirtyeight.com/
Math nerds must be the most tiresome people of all.
[re=594884]ZombieRichardFeynman[/re]: Don’tcha wanna stab your ears when you hear some Yank fuckup the name of the state?! I thought those old U of O shirts that say “OryGun” was irony…naah, its just for any NCCA playoff…
[re=594893]gradgrind[/re]: This is a win for Darwinism.
HuffPo nows claims Lincoln 51% with 63% reporting.
[re=594864]Blender[/re]: Ken doesn’t have actual physical proximity to his interns. That’s so 1995! Word is, he moved to the California desert because Northern NeVADa had too many people in it. Now he runs the Wonkette empire from a bunker under the Mojave like your basic Bond villain. Yes, the Most Important Political Blog in the History of American Politics™ exists almost solely in cyberspace! Giving people like you and me the opportunity to drive people like Psychicsidekick to increase their meds. Or at least that’s what TMZ says, or would say if they acknowledged the existence of anyone who doesn’t live in Beverly Hills.
[re=594877]Katydid[/re]: I joined the Facebook group advocating plugging the gusher with copies of Atlas Shrugged.
[re=594893]gradgrind[/re], [re=594899]the problem child[/re]: And I love how motorcycle riders claim it’s their business if they want to smear their brainpan on the street. Except that taxpayers often pick up the tab for an ER visit.
[re=594893]gradgrind[/re]: “The state law says people younger than 21 must wear helmets, but has no such requirement for people older than 21.”
I hope that’s a typo. I thought motorbikers everywhere were require to keep their brains off the pavement.
[re=594890]Joy[/re]: ” for the spouse and I”
and me–it’s objective case. Because this is wonkette, province of un/under employed liberal arts majors and because the primaries are boring. But the old man kept punching buttons and got Glee for me, so I’m much happier that when Dish had triple-screwed me out of the Glee finale. I believe you’re straight, Mr. Shue. I do believe . . .I do believe . . .I do believe . . .
Always, always register Republican. That way you can vote for the loons in the primary.
New thread!!!!
[re=594879]psychicsidekick[/re]: the whore-troll is back! where’s my tube of KY, it’s around here somewhere… here it is! face north, psychee, we’ll put the head in. if you don’t like it, we’ll talk about it.
[re=594905]DustBowlBlues[/re]:
Yes, you are correct.
And, yes; Glee makes many, many people happy……..I do believe…..
[re=594886]imissopus[/re]: Do I have to look through all 144,000 members to figure it out? I’m not that familiar with F/B.
Hey PsychDick, do you have a post (or whatever you do on myspace) about Palin’s Blackberries?
[re=594879]psychicsidekick[/re]: Look out, you are about to be ripped wide open by a feline penis (barbed, in case you hadn’t heard).
Hey I read this on NPR’s site today “Progressives Ask: Is It Obama, Or Is It Us?”, and we all know what a right leaning outlet NPR is. Face it guys your movement has already ended.
http://www.myspace.com/officialpsychicsidekick
[re=594937]psackofdicks[/re]: MySpace? Now which junior high do you attend? And are you BFF with one of the Palin kidz?
[re=594937]psychicsidekick[/re]: Only ghey French commie wankers listen to NPR, mate…
No moar Jim Gibbons? Damn you Nevadans! You take 3% of the fun out of mocking Republicans.
[re=594905]DustBowlBlues[/re]: The Glee final was very good, definitely makes up for the last two episodes, and should be on Hulu at some point tomorrow. But the bit with that – oh and that – that was all great.
[re=594910]slappypaddy[/re]: I spent quite a while yesterday reading that whole weekend thread, with his/her constant attempts to claim overt racism wasn’t really racist – and then, to see the person show up and start blogwhoring on top of it? And with myspace (guess pichicdicks is 13 years old)? It is comedy, and surprising that he or she has avoided the banhammer as of yet.
Fresh Hell: Say’s the impotent cyber warrior on Wonkette. You are so grown up!
Look! Even NPR knows that progressives are terminal and moments away from being D.O.A. Rest in Peace progresive movement. May Rachel Madcow be with you.
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=127545645&sc=nl&cc=nh-20100608
[re=594915]Katydid[/re]: I assumed that went without saying.
[re=594893]gradgrind[/re]: This is good news for organ transplant patients.
Nefucku..hows that piss u off u gamblaholic batshitcrazy dwellers of the desert & lizard fuckers?
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