We got a political news tip on our Facebook page from Wonkette operative “Laura,” and it goes like this: “Sarah Palin 12/09 no boobs http://bit.ly/bmQtPJ #Sarah Palin today, Instant boobage! http://j.mp/dokqd2 only her #plasticsurgeon knows4sure.” We are not fluent in the Twitter-Facebook dialects, but somehow we can follow the gist.
The only group of people who look at ladies’ boobs more than straight men are straight women. Experts say straight women spend up to 37% of their time evaluating the breasts of their friends, enemies, peers and total strangers, while the number triples (to 111%) for lesbians. What we mean is, women seem to keep very careful mental records about such things, taking into account a wide variety of factors such as pregnancy, wardrobe, diet, exercise regime, miraculous undergarments and, of course, the work of the cosmetic surgery professionals who keep America’s last alt-weekly newspapers as going business concerns.
And, having just now checked our tipster’s hunch with another woman (also, coincidentally, named “Laura”), we can report with confidence that at least two people with experience in having breasts say that Sarah Palin sure looks like she was trotting out some new work at the horse races on Sunday. Oh, you didn’t know the Palins frequent the horse races these days, with their own racehorse, named “First Dude,” and that it competed “at the 142nd Belmont Stakes, the final leg of racing’s Triple Crown”?