Another Tuesday means another round of primary elections for feminist trailblazer Sarah Palin and her grizzly moms: the lady Republicans who love what Palin loves, like guns and power and Sarah Palin. Mama Palin’s been helping her grrrls by making fancy robocalls on their behalf, but some people are saying these calls might be illegal! Why are “they” are trying to “knock” the grizzlies down?
Last week Palin made a robocall suggesting to South Carolina voters that Nikki Haley did not have sex with that blogger — or that other guy — like “they” said. But a spokesman for Republican attorney general Henry McMaster, who’s been trying to destroy female empowerment in South Carolina by running for the GOP spot against Haley, says the Palin calls might have been verboten:
“So-called robocalls are illegal under our state law,” the spokesperson, Mark Plowden, e-mails. “Specifically, to drop a recorded message on a live answerer, without any sort of live operator involved, is illegal.”
Haley’s campaign said the sacred Palin message “was programmed to never be picked up by a live person,” but they could not explain how they could prevent people from answering their phones. Fact: People usually pick up the phone when it rings. Why? Because they don’t want mama grizzlies to ever win anything or be happy, that’s why.
Anyway, now in California comes word that Palin’s been helping her cool computer friend, U.S. GOP primary candidate for U.S. Senate Carly Fiorina, get out the vote by placing some last-minute robocalls on her behalf, and that these calls also might be illegal. Fiorina’s fellow GOP contender, Chuck DeVore, says she’s violating the California Public Utilities Commission’s rules that require such calls to be “preceded by a live human being before the recording starts and only be placed to people who agree to them beforehand.”
Fiorina’s campaign says the law doesn’t apply. Also, Chuck DeVore is “desperate.” End of story!
When a mama grizzly can’t make calls to fight for her sisters, then it’s not a free country anymore. But probably nobody will enforce the law against them, because they are too afraid of getting clawed in the face. [Washington Post / LA Times]
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She’s been robotweeting for forever, so robocalls are just the next logical step. Why does the SC attorney general hate progress?
I wish I could be robo-called. I’m so lonely…
Wait, I thought Palin was a pit bull; now she’s a grizzly bear? Well, I guess she quits her metaphors halfway through them too.
South Carolinians barely understand indoor plumbing; what makes you think they’ll comprehend the danger posed by robots our telephonic apparatuses?
Oh, and my obligatory Palin-related response: zzzzzzzzz.
Hello? May I speak to former governor Palin, please? Good evening, Ms. Palin. On behalf of Americans everywhere, I would you ask you to consider fucking off and dying with great expediency. But before you do that, could you also please ensure that your uterus calcifies and falls out, thus sparing future generations of Americans from having to hear about, see, or recall even acknowledging the existence of you and your hopelessly retrograde hillbilly trash clan. Thank you, and I hope I can count on your support.
This is a recording.
I’m shocked that someone as “honest”, “law abiding” and “just” as Sarah Palin would stoop so low.
Laws are pesky things that don’t apply to Real Americans like Palin.
Ye gods, when does this grizzly hibernate?
“Illegal” means NOTHING to a mama bear!
Robo-calling grizzlies? One step away from the terrifying robo-bears Stephen Colbert keeps talking about.
Palin’s idiocy is infectious. Stating Robocalls don’t violate some law because it ‘was programmed to never be picked up by a live person’ is just stupid. The typical Palin defense tactic of blaming someone else for her faults rises to a new level. “The voters made my Robocalls illegal by picking up the phone. I never told them to pick up the phone. Thus, also, I did nothing wrong.”
This isn’t Alaska, we have rules down here!
I once wrote a short story about a guy who becomes a billionaire by inventing a simple, cheaply produced robot that goes door-to-door offering itself for sale and is so tirelessly, annoyingly persistent that people would buy them just so they could shut them off/destroy them.
Mama Grizzly better watch out for Oil Rigs ‘n Helicopters.
Okay, so I have to NOT answer the phone to opt out of these robocalls? Jesus, living in this modern world is getting more difficult every day.
[re=594009]JamesMichaelCurley[/re]: Maybe most of Palin’s supporters are nearly brain-dead, so she figured that the live person rule wouldn’t apply.
Also: isn’t calling people to tell them that Haley didn’t have sex with a blogger a lot like asking your opponent when he stopped beating his wife?
In other news, over the past 18 months, Sarah Palin’s robocaller has won every single radio contest in the state of Alaska.
“Our understanding of the law is that calls are perfectly legal if they are programmed to go directly to voicemail/answering machines”
Ummmm…..what??? It must be nice having the cheat codes to the law.
I love mama anger-bear pitbull pic. That sentence would only make sense here, on Wonkett.
Fuck America’s law and fuck the government. God Bless America!
Furry. Also, too.
[re=594011]Lascauxcaveman[/re]: I knew that sounded somewhat familiar.
And, how many damn animals has Palin been so far???? I do think Tuna is available.
When she exhausts fauna avatars will we be subjected to flood flora? I suggest she alias that big stinking Corpse Flower plant.
Did George Washington worry about the law at Gettysburg?
Professor Frink is gonna be pissed
[re=594027]jus_wonderin[/re]: Dead fish going with the flow could be tuna, though probably salmon.
[re=594016]PsycGirl[/re]: It’s that the only people who just answer the phone without checking Caller ID first are the ancients almost on their deathbeds, and so not really live people anymore.
[re=594018]BaconTime[/re]: That might explain why we’re still talking about the quitting loser; she entered up up down down left right left right B A select start to get thirty political lives.
Fursona non grata.
Nice portrayal, Lauri. Now if I could just witness a grudge-match between Anger-bear of the Tundra, and Suzy Bear of Irving/Kinski persuasion, my bliss will be complete.
the sexxxiest robocall you’ll ever get, stud, you betcha.
Anyone new today claim to have doinked that Indian/sleeper cell terrorist gal in South Carolina?
Mothers are genetically programmed to make phone calls, and are emotionally crushed when you don’t answer. Everyone knows this.
Joe McGinnis has been getting a lot of hang-ups lately too.
Dear Jerry Brown,
You are California’s chief law enforcement officer and I am about to go vote for you in the gubernatorial primary. Appease my voting self and prosecute this shit! Do it! Do it! You want to win votes in California? Prosecute the shit out of Sarah Palin.
Sure, she’ll do her victim routine and probably get off with a light sentence but if you can convict Anger Bear of voter fraud, I would just be so, so happy. And it’ll be harder for her to freak out about whatever the next version of ACORN is that Republicans invent.
Sincerely,
Assistant/Atlas
[re=594009]JamesMichaelCurley[/re]: So actually it was entrapment. That’s a fancy word for gotcha… gotchaness?
Soon:
“Hello, this is Sarah Palin, aka Mama Grizzly! The court has ordered me to call every person in town to apologize for my telemarketing scam. I’m sorry. If you can find it in your heart to forgive me, send one dollar to : Sorry Grizzly, ****, Wasilla, AK. You have the power!”
[re=594040]dex[/re]: Gah! Just the thought of that voice makes my penis shrivel.
Palin’s hair in the drawing is looking suspiciously like Blagojevic’s. Coincidence?
[re=594045]stew[/re]:
Just us chickens who wish we could.
Needs moar boobz.
[re=594025]norbizness[/re]: I guess I didn’t make clear in my story the robots are essentially useless. Selling themselves is *all* they do, but they do it really well.
[re=594016]PsycGirl[/re]: Or if you are totally cool with your opponent being the father to an illegitmate black kid.
[re=593997]norbizness[/re]: Old Glory Insurance is standing by, to provide a special policy rider, to aid South Carolinians and Californians against the threat of unfortunate event of robocalls. You need to feel safe, from their grating metallic voices, emanating from their metal mouths. For when the robocalls come for you, in Greenville and Temecula.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/2340/saturday-night-live-old-glory
And they will.
This is the Womanbearpig that Gore goes apeshit about. But i think it is Yiftastic!
If you try to get on Sarah’s Do-Not-Call list, you will get yourself a spot on Sarah’s Do-Not-Fuck-With-Me list!
In a contest between Mama Grizzly and Mama PUMA, who would win?
Law schmaw.
Grizzly paw.
[re=594045]stew[/re]: Well, I did – but I’m not talking because I don’t want to pile on, and I don’t want my boyfriend to get mad.
[re=593996]JMP[/re]: She was a barracuda too, don’t forget. But I don’t remember if that was before or after she was a Maverick – which was a car I used to own that broke down all the time.
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