Not Safe For Socialist-welfare-statists!Presenting Wonkette’s newest intern, Summer 2010 model: Benjamin Frisch. Ben draws terrible comics and has been in art school for far too long. He maintains a blog of his awful artwork, and also keeps a portfolio of sorts on this furry pornography site. Good news for elderly Republican congressmen: he’s single!

Hypothetical question as lazy blog post transition: What if America’s greatest prophet Ayn Rand was alive today? It would be just like that radio show where they talk to that fake-Thomas Jefferson about gardening, except interesting maybe, or not. Anyway, you may have noticed a new comic strip feature here on Wonkette. This comic is the first of many about Ayn Rand time traveling to 2010 and experiencing our contemporary horror. This will be a regular feature, posted on Mondays unless Harper-Collins offers him a book deal for his epic graphic novel about Oedipus Rex, in which case he will abandon this place like President Bush after Katrina. Cheers!

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  1. Now, you come bearing reasonably unflattering likenesses of Ayn Rand, so I ain’t throwin stones…and perhaps I just missed the boat on this one, but…WTF happened to Waggaman?

    Anyhow, I for one, welcome our new underling overlords.

  2. Welcome Benjamin Frisch, if that is your real name! Your furry pornography site indicates you’re deviant, so you should fit in very well here at Wonkette. Congrats (?) on your internship.

  3. Welcome – and if that truly frightening cartoon is any indication, you know all about us already. I love an intern who does his homework.

  4. [re=593325]Doglessliberal[/re]: Yeah, I’m in Savannah now, next week I’ll be in New York, then DC, the back to Savannah. I’m a real jet setter, if you replace “jet” with “China Town Bus”.

    [re=593326]Snarkalicious[/re]: Waggaman is still around, he never left.

    [re=593327]hockeymom[/re]: Not that I know of, but maybe, who knows.

  5. I guess going from “newest intern” to “president of interns” makes you the John Roberts of Wonkland. Hope none of the other interns get jealous and shiv you during breaktime in the exercise yard.

  6. What if America’s greatest prophet Ayn Rand was alive today?


  7. Oh, and Benjamin, I once dated a cartoonist, who was brilliant, but strange, and he now makes buckets of money. Just throwing that out there.

  8. Benjamin Frisch? It sounds like such an adult name — can you even be an intern with a name like Benjamin Frisch? If Wonkette were a tool & die shop in Cincinnatti, Benjamin Frisch would be Ken Layne’s favorite son who would be doing a stint in the mailroom until he became CEO. Anyway, welcome, Benjamin.
    And Ayn Rand needs to go to Somalia to see the pinnacle of the Randian society. Not that it matters — if she couldn’t see the stupidity of her worldview back when she wrote about it over and over again, she wouldn’t see it now.

  9. [re=593344]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Or she would have a flashback to her training at the temple of the legendary martial arts master Pai Mei, and punch her way right the fuck out of the ground.

  10. [re=593338]Benjamin Frisch[/re]: Jesus H Monkeyfuckers. How many slaves does one Ken Layne need? Because, you know…if somebody is needed to run the ‘Chicago’ office, I’m down. Perhaps I can post videos of His Majesty the Emperor Mayor Daley threatening to fuck me in the ass with a new small arms attachment every week, and things of this nature.

  11. Welcome Benjamin Frisch. You draw reel purty. But could you please lighten up the background in this here drawing… why is black the most dominate color in your drawings? It’s because of who’s in the White House, isn’t it? Don’t force feed me your “diversity”, Benjamin Frisch. Oh… Need moar weenie picktures. Also.

  12. [re=593359]Words[/re]: Aw, how sweet. Nope, not Doonesbury. I’ll never tell, now that I’ve said the guy is strange. He was very nice, and really brilliant and very, very funny, but weird around the edges. He didn’t have the big bucks when we dated, though. Sigh. Story of my life. I have to start learning to date for money, not love, goddammit. Although, that would make me a whore, would it not? Thanks for calling me a whore, Words.

  13. [re=593361]qwerty42[/re]: But it is one fantastic city. Where else do you get an art school, faded Southern gentility, the largest drag queen population outside SF, a minor league baseball team, one of the oldest synagogues in the US, and terrific beach (Tybee, 20 mins away)? Bizarro world, and in a good way.

  14. [re=593359]Words[/re]: he’s been married to Jane Pauley for a dog’s age. Not that that disqualifies one from dating, I suppose, but still. I bet she dated the Pearls Before Swine or Get Fuzzy guy. I love those comics.

  15. [re=593372]Katydid[/re]: He was very nice, and really brilliant and very, very funny, but weird around the edges.

    R. Crumb?

  16. [re=593372]Katydid[/re]: Your welcome, dahlin”!!

    [re=593374]Doglessliberal[/re]: Those are good, too.. (the comics, not the ciities, which are good, but not in a comic-stripy kind of way, I guess, oh hell… happy fingers!! attack.

  17. [re=593338]Benjamin Frisch[/re]: How does Riley afford to eat? Seems like that dude’s has been an intern since Bush was still in office.

  18. I, for one, welcome our new cartoonist overlords. Er, minions, really.

    But will there be conflict with both a comic artist and a professional mocker-of-comics on board?

  19. [re=593405]Monsieur Grumpe[/re]: but didn’t you always get the child molester vibe from him (or at least from him via his comic)?

  20. So does Riley get to call you “probie” now? Also please post any videos where he has you in a hammerlock and is yelling “who’s your daddy”.

    Ah, kids.

  21. [re=593372]Katydid[/re]: Whore = WHORE DIAMONDS. I will award you one Whore Diamond to start you on your way. Godspeed.

  22. A recent grad art student gave me a link to the comics site where he publishes. I was astounded to discover that artists have taken one of the most accessible forms of graphic communication and rendered it incomprehensible. (Not to mention ugly as sin.) That takes some effort. Especially if your audience, like me, grew up on Heavy Metal and Tales of Variousdisturbinggrusomehappenings sort of comic books.

  23. [re=593367]Snarkalicious[/re]: Re: How many slaves does one Ken Layne need?

    Internships can’t been full-time jobs in our nation’s capital! That would leave no sexy-time and everyone knows that’s why any sane person goes to Washington — where you can have everything from girls in pearls at Mr. Smith’s to a United States Senator in an airport bathroom … or some combination of the above, paid for by a lobbying firm. (Yes, I mean you, Vicki Iseman.)

  24. Young man, I’m a liberal (not “a lifelong liberal,” because I’m not dead yet! And don’t call me “chief”!) and haven’t had a beer in 18 years, but there are places even a liberal can’t allow a man to go — and misspelling Leinenkugel’s is one of them. Get thee hence to yon Web site and correct that egregious Summer Shandy malaprop! And never leave ambrosia to spellcheck again, kemosabe.

  25. [re=593373]Doglessliberal[/re]: Oh yes, I know … I grew up there and still have family and friends there. I like the food, the city, the way the public space (parks, cemeteries, even road medians) blend into the private gardens and houses. I always enjoy visiting. And I have to confess that SCAD is responsible for saving a lot of the old buildings (especially the old schools, with their triple hung windows) that could not otherwise have been maintained. Good seafood down there. The new hotel on the river is an interesting place.

  26. [re=593460]V572625694[/re]: Grayson Stadium (Home of the Gnats) is great in the summer. A hot night and cold beer and all the mosquitoes you could want.

  27. [re=593517]qwerty42[/re]: I have a major want-to-visit jones now. But, I will wait until October….

    Kayaking to Little Tybee from Tybee in Oct is great.

  28. Congratulations! NPR just announced that Helen Thomas is retiring after 10,000 years. Her less than delicate face would make a valid excuse to have some artistic fun!

  29. I cannot WAIT until we get to the exciting, sensual finale to your comic series, in which Ayn, Sarah P and Michelle B have a hot sweaty threesome then Ayn bites off both their heads at the end to provide nourishment for her newly fertilized objectivist eggs

  30. [re=593344]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: There’s a lot of competition for that title. How does she stack up with Joseph Smith? Alexander Dowie? Brother Stair?

  31. So, tell me, Benjamin….When the Ayn Rand Society votes for its leader, does everyone get one vote?

    NB: This is a test.

  32. Welcome Benjamin, are there any murals you can show us? Glad to hear you were cool enough to go to SCAD one of my very favorite places.

  33. [re=593417]Doglessliberal[/re]: but didn’t you always get the child molester vibe from him (or at least from him via his comic)?

    No, no, no. You’re thinking of Glen McCoy.

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