riddles 'n enigmas

Mysterious Bilderberg Group Meets In Spain, Sells Humanity To Space Monsters

it's a mystery, wrapped in a riddle, inside an enigma ....Here is a fun thing about old-school Conspiracy Theories: They were often true. The Bilderberg Group was, until just a couple of years ago, dismissed by the Lame Stream Media as some kind of crazy fiction — but the terrifying reality was that the news companies were all in on it, for decades, so the broadcasts and newspapers never mentioned this actual annual meeting of world government, finance and industrial leaders because the heads of the media corporations were there, at the secret meetings, PLOTTING AGAINST EARTH (or reaching consensus on Cold War policy, same thing!). Anyway, thanks to the Internet and Alex Jones and whatever, now everybody knows the Bilderberg Group is a real thing — a real working group of world leaders, meeting privately and annually since 1954 — and everybody completely ignores it because come on, don’t be paranoid.

The group met in Spain over the weekend at Sitges resort near Barcelona, and once again just about every mainstream media outlet besides The Guardian totally ignored it. (The Telegraph bravely made fun of the conspiracy.) Why cover a meeting of global leaders who were surely discussing/planning coordinated responses to the oil spill, the problems created by Iran and Pakistan and North Korea and Israel, the latest chapter of the global economic collapse, climate change, the Mexican drug war, China buying up all the natural resources in Africa, fresh water shortages, treaties with the space monsters, etc.?

One reason nobody covers Bilderberg is because reporters aren’t invited to cover it. Seriously, that’s the main reason. There are no credentials offered to working press, no broadcast television crews allowed, and therefore no reason to send the media. Reporters don’t go where they’re not invited. Look at the oil spill situation: For all the blog outrage about BP image-managing the spill and keeping press away from the bad areas and blocking photographers and boats and whatever, how much coverage have you seen outside BP’s control? The U.S. Gulf of Mexico coastline is 1,700 miles long.

Anyway. Here’s somebody writing for The Guardian:

Bilderberg is an absurdity. The secrecy is absurd. The lack of a relationship between the event and the mainstream media is absurd. Ivan standing alone by his roundabout bed is absurd. The paranoia of the participants is more than absurd – it’s pathetic.

This year, most of the delegates were whisked into the hotel through an underground entrance, dodging the lenses, like a bunch of James Bond baddies, like a dieter creeping downstairs at midnight to eat chocolate cake from the fridge.

Exactly. What? Anyway, “Ed Balls” was at the Bilderberg vacation meeting this time, maybe! This means he shall soon be crowned Queen of England! [Telegraph/Guardian/Raw Story]

About the author

A writer and editor of this website from 2006 to early 2012, Ken Layne is occassionally seen on Twitter and writes small books and is already haunting you from beyond (your) grave.

View all articles by Ken Layne
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55 comments

  1. actor212

    Ed Ball, Queen of England. Something seems…odd…about that construct. Oddly familiar. Queen Balls of England, huh?

  2. Johnny Zhivago

    The secrecy makes a lot of sense, since it gets hot and they like to take their human suits off from time to time.

  3. Baldar T Flagass

    So does the guy in charge never have his face shown, and always has a hairy white cat in his lap?

  4. edgydrifter

    Proving once again that not everything my mother misremembers from sleeping with Coast To Coast playing on a little radio under her pillow is total nonsense. Only mostly everything.

  5. JMP

    The media isn’t even going to report on the Bilderbergs because the media wants them to know that they don’t care that they weren’t invited to their stupid party because they totally didn’t want to go anyway and so they’re just going to ignore the stupid thing.

    Anyway, they know people won’t really care about the Druidic blood sacrifices to the pagan gods and Great Old Ones.

  6. Aramel

    The Bilderbergers are just a screen for the Trilateral Commission. Wake up, people!

  7. chascates

    What about Freemasons, the Bonesman, Bohemian Grove, and the Trilateral Commission? No wonder the world’s so messed up, with a bunch of secret overlords competing with one another for control of the universe.
    Lyndon Larouche was right! (nude conspiracies, etc.)

  8. Larry Fine

    The Bilderberg Group is when the Lizard People give instructions to the Jews on how they want things done on the planet.

  9. Aurelio

    Kenneth: the international ruling class is not obliged to inform you of their sexytime activities.

  10. bynrdskynrd

    Would be a straight Win if the TeaBaggers actually grew some balls and crashed this meeting…but then Cthulu would round them up and have them as the Daily Dinner Special. Epic…

  11. whiterabid

    I don’t care about the Bilderberg Group. I want to hear more about the chocolate cake conspiracy.

  12. ManchuCandidate

    Come on people. We ALL KNOW IT’S the SAUCER PEOPLE AND REVERSE VAMPIRES!

  13. steverino247

    Good point about BP blockading the Gulf Coast. It’s pretty easy to find out how fucked the coast is. Just get a ride in News Chopper Five or pay some private pilot to fly off the coastline about twenty miles or so. BP lacks any air defense capability. Trust me on that.

    The various news media haven’t really been very active since Watergate/Fall of Vietnam or so. The TV news guys go cover whatever was in the newspaper that morning unless somebody spams their fax machines with more interesting stuff. They only report what they’re told and then (if it sounds “controversial”) try to find somebody with an opposing opinion, usually somebody just coming out of a restaurant or shopping area near the station (i.e., Man in the Street), which is why things are so fucked up in the career formerly known as “Journalism.” Back when I was “active” I quickly learned how shockingly easy it was to manipulate that system. Imagine what professionals can do with it.

  14. SayItWithWookies

    “This idea that the Bilderberg Group is a secret elite force that controls the world economy and is building a new world order is a giant pot of spoiled borscht made from rotten beets,” [investigative journalist Chip Berlet] told the Russian news service.

    Hmmm…you know investigative journalist Chip Berlet is covering for the whole consipiracy when he alludes to what the servant class eats. Suspiciouser and suspiciouser, as Alice would say.

  15. RoscoePColtraine

    It’s known as “conclave.” White smoke means Helen Thomas stays, black smoke means she goes.

  16. chascates

    So it’s no coincidence that Steve Jobs just announced ‘iAds’?
    “Why are we doing iAds? To help our devs earn money to create free and low cost apps.”

  17. Red Zeppelin

    Well if Ed “Big Swinging” Balls is involved, it can’t be all bad! Amirite.

  18. Geogre

    “Who is number one?”
    “You are number six.”
    “Who is number one?”
    “You are, number six.”

    Oh…. wow. Man, it’s, like, Kafka’s story… that one where the dude is sitting outside the gate, you know?

    It’s actually a sneaky good illustration, because we are number one. The coast line is free, and the BP managers stop people from going to the photogenic places, the pack places. However, let’s also be clear that BP was also mysteriously telling the Coast Guard to deny flight permits to the Times-Picayune reporter to get a sea plane flight anywhere over the spill. BP subcontractors said “no,” and the Coast Guard guy acquiesced for lack of sack, and because, in the Bush days, taking orders from corporations was the normal way of things.

    As for the bilderburgers, I wish we could be outraged at that secrecy, but we’ve gotten so used to secrecy, so accustomed to opacity, that most of us would be happy if things like Ohm’s Law weren’t classified. (A friend in the Navy told me of documents getting routine Classified ratings, including engineering books with things like Ohm’s law, so he could neither confirm nor deny that V/I/R.)

  19. Jukesgrrl

    The media only covers events that have Winners and Losers. Bilderberg is all winners who will keep on winning until they use up the whole earth and everything in it. We’re the losers, but the media doesn’t want to tell us, because they’re losers, too, and that’s just a downer.

  20. One Yield Regular

    Wait, they’re meeting in SITGES, the gayest town in all of Europe? Well no WONDER they don’t want to be seen by the media. These are not the kind of people who want to be seen in public dressed up in extreme drag.

  21. 4tehlulz

    Is Prague no longer good enough for the Elders of Zion? Man, even they’ve gone soft.

  22. weejee

    Well if the problem is working press, then Ken we demand you parachute in our interns Riley and Benjamin as they clearly are not working press. Just to keep Neilist happy, do make sure the have concealed carry permits so they can take in sneakytime cell phones and cameras for twitter twatting.

  23. widget09

    Great, now we are going to have another crappy Tom Hanks movie about the NWO/Bilderberg/Satanic Catholic Church.

  24. Snarkalicious

    [re=593406]actor212[/re]: Ru Paul will be at your house in ten minutes to discuss a script and pitch package. Steel yourself.

  25. JMP

    [re=593428]ManchuCandidate[/re]: I do think that there’s another Simpsons episode that would’ve worked even better for this post:

    Who controls the British Crown?
    Who Keeps The Metric System Down?
    We Do, We Do…
    Who keeps Atlantis off the maps?
    Who keeps the Martians under wraps?
    We Do, We Do…
    Who holds back the electric car?
    Who makes Steve Gutenberg, a star!
    We Do, We Do…
    Who robs kegfish of their sight?
    Who rigs every Oscar night?
    We Do… We Doooo!

  26. tribbzthesquidz

    Our only hope is Space Bono feeling well enough to go and keep them reeled in.

  27. TGY

    Regarding that pic, I’m pretty sure I know who number two is.

    And if I ever decide to rob a bank, I shall merely not invite the police or the media. Such boors!

  28. lawrenceofthedesert

    I fell asleep in the living room chair last night and think I might have seen part of a Bilderberg Group infomercial when I awoke; then my dog asked me to go out in perfect Spanish.

  29. Zorg

    This Dieter, who eats all of the chocolate cake, is this the same Dieter who dances with his monkey on “Sprockets?”

  30. Beanball

    How is a Bilderberg weekend any different than a Washington Post “salon”? Seems to me that a lot of people got their panties in a bunch when WaPo got outed for their amateurish access-for-hire attempts. Here’s the real deal, and everybody just laughs and points fingers at the “conspiracy nuts.” Hahaha. World leaders, the people who actually run the world – including media heads, mojo journalists, corporate heads, banksters – meet behind closed doors and it’s no big deal.

    Somebody’s laughing, but it ain’t me.

  31. TrailerSpawned

    Perhaps it was different in the past, but these day they are hardly secretive. I’ve passed by their workshop many times at the mall. While I’ve never gone in, it seems pretty banal, what with all the stuffed animals and little costumes. What’s the big deal? Are they up to no good in the back room??

  32. Birdcrash

    Gee, I can only hope that one of the Bush family, or Larry Summers, or someone from Goldman Sachs is attending to look out for my interests.

  33. JMP

    [re=593567]TrailerSpawned[/re]: Stuffed animals, little costumes; yes they are up to no good in the back room, they call it “yiffing” and if you are lucky enough to not know what that is don’t google it.

  34. The Lucky Republican

    [re=593419]magic titty[/re]: If it includes Joe Johnson . . . then no.

  35. slappypaddy

    [re=593552]Beanball[/re]: here’s the true scary secret behind the conspiracy theories about back-room cabals of plutocrats running the world: NOBODY IS RUNNING THE WORLD. the captain’s embalmed body is propped up on the poop deck, the helmsman is a drunken multiple-personality-disordered meth-head, and the ship’s complement of passengers and crew are engaged in a massive and multi-valenced free-for-all-cum-orgy. there are too many hyphens on this ship, the sun is going down, the radar is on the fritz and shoal waters lie ahead. the life preservers are made out of dirty gym socks stuffed with sawdust and used condoms, there are no lifeboats, and that’s a shark’s fin cutting the waters off the leeward bow. the professor’s a pederast, ginger’s got the clap, and mary ann will die a virgin. (what you have just witnessed are multiple subconscious metaphorical emanations of the one-mighty and holy trinity. (out, damned hyphen!))

  36. slowuncle

    I am completely underwhelmed by the hype surrounding these Bilderberg posers.These guys are almost as lame as the Trilateral Commission. See, I was all over the Illuminatis and Masons when Dan Brown was still eating paste in grade school–me & Robert Anton Wilson were,like, pen-pals & everything.This is so light weight

  37. lochnessmonster

    Oh great! Now the nuts who call into Washington Journal on C-SPAN about this group will be even more insistent about their crimes against humanity.

  38. Mull_Man

    [re=593660]slappypaddy[/re]: Fortunately, Dr. Benway is on hand for their medical needs…

  39. Beanball

    [re=593660]slappypaddy[/re]: I approve of your message and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.

    What a relief it would be if these poopheads could actually come up with a consensus what says something along the line of “We need to fix this shit. Now.”

    Gang aft agley. Et cetera.

  40. iburl

    …and their leader is Boxcar Willie, who is king of the Repillians from the Asteroid Belt. Doubt me? Then, you’re one of them! Eat hot lead, reptoid!

  41. CanadianBacon

    Obviously Wonkette is part of the coverup since it is stated that “There are no credentials offered to working press, no broadcast television crews allowed, and therefore no reason to send the media.” However a simple Google search shows the presence of Sami Kohen, the Senior Foreign Affairs Columnist for the Turkish daily newspaper Milliyet, John Micklethwait, Editor-in-Chief of The Economist, Vendeline von Bredow Business corespondent The Economist,Edward McBride Business Editor of the Economist, Martin H Wolf,Economics commentator for The Financial Times and Alexis Papahelas,a writer for Kathimerini a daily newspaper in Athens, all invited participants.
    What is Wonkette helping cover up?

  42. akbright

    Is this the same group that meet somewhere on the West Coast – Where people like Henry Kissinger, and a few select others, play “dress-up”?

  43. Paul Revere101

    http://www.infowars.com/food-and-depopulation-rockefeller-family/
    Cassandra Anderson
    Infowars.com
    June 8, 2010
    Part 1 of 4.
    The purpose of this article is to give a brief outline of how the elites, and the Rockefellers in particular, are using food as a weapon.
    Since the Rockefeller family came to power (especially after gaining a monopoly with Standard Oil) they have manipulated our government into ruining our financial system by way of the Federal Reserve, energy through oil dependency and food with GMOs (Genetically Engineered Organisms). The intention is to rob us blind and kill us. It’s time to wake up.
    The official name of this program is Agenda 21 Sustainable Development.
    It the overarching blueprint for depopulation and total control over America and the rest of the world. There is no question that Americans are targeted for depopulation: GMO (Genetically Modified Organism) food has saturated American farmlands. GMOs are dangerous and the proliferation of corn crops (used as sweetener, animal feed, processed food, etc) in America is shortening our life spans.(1) Our water is polluted, containing over 60,000 chemicals, most of which have never been tested for safety.(2) Our air is toxic, and the US is one of the most targeted areas for chemtrails.(3) This is just the tip of the iceberg, the things we know about. The focus of this article is revealing the link between the Rockefellers and their intended use of food as a weapon, which is more powerful than military domination and energy control.
    While Agenda 21 was introduced in 1992, the elite collectivists, lead by the Rockefellers, have been pushing population control on America and the world for generations. In 1992, this depopulation and control policy was modernized and given a name: Agenda 21, or the Agenda for the 21st century. The premise for depopulation and control is to preserve the environment. One would have to be an idiot to disregard environmental concerns, however, the solutions that Agenda 21 offers fail to address the real issues. The primary tools that Agenda 21 Sustainable Development uses are global warming lies, water shortages (like the man made drought in California, which also causes food shortages) and the Endangered Species Act (designed to take away private property, which is the base of wealth creation and freedom). To get the whole story
    Go to: http://www.infowars.com/food-and-depopulation-rockefeller-family/

  44. Beachdreamer

    Sitges is one great party town. I am so sorry that the media wasn’t there to get some highly sexual pictures in the cozy little bars and nightclubs??? or did they??? Now, these forbidden pictures would make alot of money???

  45. YouAlreadyKnow7

    No one but a member themselves can ever fully understand their intentions and plans…….Let me ask you this, how can the human race continue on the way we are running things now? Just simply cant…money controls everything, the same thing everyone wants and works for is the very same thing that controls and destroys us…..if the planet dies, everything dies…..jus like mars did….thats exactly why things like these “secret society” meetings were so secretive.

  46. YouAlreadyKnow7

    money shouldnt mean a Danm thing to anyone……..it dont mean a damn thing to me, once ya figure out the system, one finally realizes how easy the road to the riches can be…..but I would rather take a different path.

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