About the author

Benjamin Frisch is a comic book artist, and sometimes journalist currently habituating somewhere on the elitist liberal east coast of the United States. His published works include a short lived, but beloved cross-dressing comic strip entitled Maurice Antoinette and some other stuff not worth mentioning. As a journalist, Benjamin somehow contributed to National Public Radio, with his story At the Concert Hall, a Symphony for Space Invaders. Benjamin is currently delaying adulthood as a graduate student, and plans to remain one forever. He can be twittered at Twitter.com/BenjaminFrisch

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Hola wonkerados.

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65 comments

  1. the problem child

    Yay! It’s Newell’s reanimated corpse, but with a sharpie instead of a keyboard.

  2. JadedDIssonance

    And Behold, I too shall write a book ennobling my basest of desires and you shall bequeath it an ISM!

  3. I Heart Accuracy

    So if anyone wants to carpe diem, follow me to Amway – and be your own boss!

  4. Jim Demintia

    You can tell this is a whitewash because the artist made Ayn Rand much more attractive than she was in real life.

  5. Snarkalicious

    I’d go five hundo to toss a pie at that bitch. MAKE IT HAPPEN GREENSPAN!!!

    Also…needz moar unibrow.

  6. Baby who ate the Dingo

    So in the early eighties I smoked a lot of pot, read Atlas Farted, like six times, Fountainhead once, because it was stupid, and listened to “Trees” and “2112″ by Rush thinking I was so smart because I hated 70′s claptrap rock, like the Eagles and Fleetwood Mac.

    Now, I still hate claptrap rock, which is being minted in new form by the Daughtry/Nicklback, think Rush is pretty juvenile, even if Neil Peart was/is one of the most underrated drummers. This even with the copious dubage that I still consume.

    But what I really want to know is Why Ayn has Granny Boobs for eyelids.

  7. weejee

    Hi Benjamin, is the art yours? If so kudos to you, or else kudos to whomever – the deco-dant first panel is killer.

    However, hopefully not entirely moving from the thread of the original dracula cunt, haz the group noticed that the author of Kim Chi Shrugged, ol’ Kim Song Il is doing some serious purges that appear to be more than your run-of-the-mill cabbage juice high colonic.

  8. NJB

    I can’t wait until the next installment when we see what happens when Ayn meet those brilliant Objectivist intellectuals Bachmann and Palin. It must involve the Gates of Hell and a gravel pit in Wasilla, but I could be wrong.

  9. Lascauxcaveman

    Is Benjamin Frisch the artiste or the new associate editor that brings us this? Either way, great (creepy) work!

  10. Slattenpat

    “Today’s “conservatives” are futile, impotent and, culturally, dead. They have nothing to offer and can achieve nothing. They can only help to destroy intellectual standards, to disintegrate thought, to discredit capitalism, and to accelerate this country’s uncontested collapse into despair and dictatorship.” – “Conservatism: An Obituary,” Capitalism: The Unknown Ideal – Ayn Rand

    “At first I was happy to be learning how to read. It seemed exciting and magical, but then I read this: Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. I read every last word of this garbage, and because of this piece of shit, I am never reading again.” – Officer Barbrady, South Park

  11. NopantsMcGee

    Last caption needs clearer more numerous teabaggers.

    that is what they are suppose to be, ryte?

  12. MissyLissa

    I have a feeling that this is going to turn into one of those creepy Japanese rape comics pretty soon.

    That’s what Ayn would have wanted.

  13. gjdodger

    How come she was “mistress” at the beginning but “master” at the end? Does time travel come with a sex change?

  14. Jim89048

    Prescient![re=593264]Princess Sparkle Pony[/re]: Newell leaves, Sparkle Pony comes back in. Could it be?
    Extemporanus, also.

  15. Geogre

    Very nice, except that Alan Greenspan — like an Operating Thetan VIII — is the New Intellectual, a man of Will to Power (see some power? well, it WILL be yours, if the price is right), so he would, of course, tell his mistress that he owned her copyrights now. After all, the True Intellectual owes nothing to the past, nothing to the future, and certainly nothing to other humans.

    The New Intellectual is, in other words, a 2 year old.

    Seriously: this woman’s escape from Marxism was at the cost of the entire history of philosophy, ethics, rationalism, and existentialism, and for the net effect of self gratification and bestial aggression? Yeah, that’s some philosopher there.

    (I’ll stick to my gloomy Dane, Kierkegaard. At least he cares about others.)

  16. S.Luggo

    The world is North Korea’s whining bitch, there are Mexicans in every state, the US is in debt up to its pierced eyebrows to freedom-hating Communist Red China, you still can’t go back to Russia, and Wonder Bread is dead. Put that in your filter-tip and smoke it.

    Also.

  17. Naked Bunny with a Whip

    This is some shitty furry porn, tough I see they got a little vore in near the end.

  18. Snarkalicious

    [re=593265]Slattenpat[/re]: Between her and the founding fathers, those asshats have been preemptively ditched by enough of their heroes to form a rugby league.

    I’m other news, I’d pay good money if the SCA could throw together a video of Sam Beckett repeatedly leveling Ayn Rand on an open field of well maintained grass.

  19. chaste everywhere

    Can I commission one where Baba Wawa spreads ‘em for Roy Cohn* and they spawn, I dunno, Tony Hayward?
    * She did “date” the guy, after all, whatever that might have meant.

  20. God Hates Faps

    You know you’re dealing with a woman of high intellect when the only way she can prove her philosophical points is through the use of shitty FICTIONAL NOVELS.

  21. JooJoo Bee

    [re=593329]Geogre[/re]: Seriously: this woman’s escape from Marxism was at the cost of the entire history of philosophy, ethics, rationalism, and existentialism, and for the net effect of self gratification and bestial aggression? Yeah, that’s some philosopher there.

    We might be the only two people on earth who get it. Well, and Robert Vaughn.

  22. Troubledog

    So let’s use the time machine again.

    Go back to 2001, in the fall, and watch 19 Saudis use some airplanes to kill most of Cantor Fitzgerald and the husband of a chick that would go on to fuck Tiger Woods. Pan out across two impossibly tall columns of smoke rising into the sky and fade.

    Now, here we are, June 2010, and it turns out we attacked the wrong country in reprisal, started another Vietnam, and ran up all the credit cards transferring wealth of future generations into the hands of currently wealthy people who, stunningly enough, have created a mob of simple white people to support their position.

    How fucked up is that?

  23. Troubledog

    Oh yeah, one thing both versions have in common:

    An ancient and long discredited Jewish financier is fucking Diane Sawyer.

  24. Troubledog

    In fact, that’s a perfect microcosm of that whole lost fucking decade.

    2001: Rachel Uchitel, crying and devastated, holding a picture of her missing fiance.
    2010: Rachel Uchitel, in swimwear and a fake tan, fleecing wealthy hedonists as a “hostess”.

  25. Lynnrocks

    Love the style, the likenesses, the humor. You’re a real addition to Wonkette and have a new fan. We’ll all be awaiting your next installment. Gotta love Wonkette and you’ve made it ‘way better. Hope you have an agent.

  26. zhubajie

    [re=593278]MissyLissa[/re]: It would be a very kinky octopus indeed that went for Ayn Rand!

  27. Geogre

    [re=593557]JooJoo Bee[/re]: I had the unmitigated horror of having to endure a 5 vs. 1 “debate” with objectivists. I had read a good portion of the western canon by then, and they had read Ayn Rand’s claims about Ayn Rand’s accomplishments (mainly in “solving” Descartes). The worst part was that I didn’t have my pocket knife with me, so I was unable to carve my own face off. That was the only course of action that would have been commensurate with honor.

    I may be reactionary in thinking that the people who rushed to rehabilitate Nietzsche were mistaken, but I’m quite certain that I’m not fringe in dismissing the “philosophy” of Ayn Rand. I just don’t see humans as atomic individuals at war with all other humans. That’s the “philosophy” of celibates with masturbation neurosis (Herr N.) and crypto-fascists. If nothing else, it’s a philosophy that leads to no more people, except by the sperm bank.

  28. Figaro

    I’m old enough to remember Rand’s appearances on the Jack Paar late night show.
    She was terrifying…not a smile, not a change of expression on that rigid mask of a face.
    Paar kept giving her openings for a funny comment but Rand just sat there like the female robot
    in Fritz Lang’s “Metropolis” while regurgitating her Objectivist babble.

  29. zhubajie

    “That’s the “philosophy” of celibates with masturbation neurosis (Herr N.)”

    Oh? Tell me more; offline at zhubajie12@gmail.com, if you like. I don’t like N.’s positive ideas, but his critique of conventional wisdom is entertaining. I can imagine him as a German Raffles the Amateur Crackman. (Although I gather he claimed to be a Pole!)

  30. Geogre

    [re=593882]zhubajie[/re]: Nietzsche had a serious guilt about self abuse.

    He took things seriously. When churches outlaw things that are both inevitable and natural, they’re basically getting an entire population in guilt, but they’re also getting some members of it to start throwing things. Nietzsche was a big mess. He still had the folk/humor idea of the “loss of essence.” He was, according to his diaries and letters, obsessed with being repellent to women.

    This is not to dismiss him. It’s just that it really helps explain why someone would take the folly of rationalism after Hegel and respond to it by saying, “You know what? Screw you guys! I think it’s all about powerful men who will get even, men who have strong Wills, who can tell you that you’re wrong and that there’s no guilt anymore.” Worse, though, is that once someone gives Philosophy cover for that position, it opens the door for the march of the monsters in the same way that Darwin’s description of competition in the natural world in times of environmental stress gives a patina of Science for the monsters to paint on themselves when they take the whole project crazy.

    Again, though, I’m probably reactionary about Nietzsche, so don’t trust me. History will either come around to agree with my side (Nietzsche is interesting but a dead-end, philosophically) or not, and I won’t be there to care.

  31. zhubajie

    [re=593910]Geogre[/re]: N. interests me as literature. Also, I have a background in ancient history, so his stuff about the pre-Socratics is interesting. He imitates their literary forms to a degree. The masturbation phobia was common late 19th century, and not just Xtn. Lots of “scientists” promoted it. I’ve been listening to him in audio book form and his books work well aurally, which I don’t think one can say of a lot of philosophers. His general tone reminds me of the Raffles stories, as I mentioned, also Saki’s short stories (which mention him once in a while.) You might like _Beasts and Superbeasts_, esp. the story of Tobermory, the Uebercat.

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