LATEST NIKKI HALEY SCANDAL: Did You Know She Isn't Even WHITE??

At this point we're all well acquainted with Nikki Haley, who's running for the GOP nomination for governor in South Carolina, and who may have had hot sexx affairs with a political blogger (GROSS) and one of her rival's consultants (at a "school-choice convention in Salt Lake City," also GROSS). But now her campaign is being rocked by a much deeper accusation: that far from being a real South Carolinian whose ancestors came over from England in the 1720s to find freedom (or were kidnapped from Africa and forced to work for the ones who came from England), she may in fact be a "raghead," according to a legitimately elected South Carolinian legislator!

Turns out that Nikki Haley was born "Nimrata Randhawa" and that her parents were from India and were Sikhs, which isn't even a kind of Christianity. This led an obese flattopped South Carolina state senator named "Jake Knotts" to say, on some local wingnut radio show, that " We already got one raghead in the White House, we don't need a raghead in the Governor's Mansion ." Everyone in the South Carolina political establishment, to their credit, went nuts, and Knotts then said "I still believe Ms. Haley is pretending to be someone she is not, Much as Obama did, but I do apologize to both for an unintended slur," which is of course hilarious.

But what does the South Carolinian "man on the street" think? Here is a comment left on the WLTX.com story by "bugtussell" about this "politician makes jackass racist statement story":

Oh give me a break. Everyone in South Carolina knows Jake as a bull butt redneck from Lexington County. So freakin' what if he called them ragheads. Every persons personality on the planet gives them a slang name. Everyone grow up. Ignore it. Without Jake life would be so boring here. Heck, my black neighbor is making me a shirt with a saltine cracker on the front and on the back it says cracker. He took me to a burger joint and used the n word ordering a hamburger. We have fun and do a lot of things together and its not racist to us. Lighten up idiots.

Martin Luther King's dream is realized, with novelty t-shirts!

Meanwhile, here is a video that shows Nikki Haley talking on the radio in a real Southern American accent (which she learned from her Al Qaeda handlers in a cave in Waziristan). Also, you can see her supposed second sex paramour, shuddering with lascivious and mildly fey indignation about the HOTELS and BARS they frequented, for sex. Everyone knows that Salt Lake City bars are the hottest!

Haley has yet to respond to the allegations, posted on her Wikipedia page, that she has accepted an endorsement from Mitt Romney, an act that is a million times grosser than having sex with bloggers and being non-white.