• Awww, lookit the cute lil mayorIn America in 2010, nobody gets married. Nobody! This is because like six years ago in one little despised U.S. state, dudes started marrying other dudes and chicks started marrying chicks, so everyone else was all like “Ew, what’s the point.” (Either that or there have been fundamental shifts in ideas about sexual propriety and lifelong fidelity. Opinions differ!) Anyway, despite everyone’s failure to marry, people still find people to hump more or less exclusively and form economically beneficial cohabitation arrangements with and sometimes even fall in love with, and generally when they do this they call each other “boyfriend” and “girlfriend” like they did in high school. This is an order of magnitude too casual for the New York Times, though! Wait, what does this have to do with the politics, and Mayor Bloomberg? Just that Bloomberg’s girlfriend Diana Taylor seems smart and savvy and might want to run for some office as a Republican someday, maybe soon, who knows! She was maybe thinking of running against Kristen Gillibrand but then decided not to, but the Times already had this article mostly written about her, so they decided to publish it anyway. Despite Bloomberg being quoted as calling her his girlfriend in the story, the Times will only snootily call her his “companion,” as if Mayor Bloomberg and his special lady were gay men in the ’70s. [NYT]
  • In other New York news, Andrew Cuomo is trying to make the “Working Families Party” endorse some non-Cuomo person until after the primaries, at which point they will abandon said person and endorse Cuomo. This is reminding everyone why they hate New York state politics in general, and Andrew Cuomo in particular. [NYT]
  • Jim Webb heard a rumor that Burma is trying to build a nuclear bomb, so he cancelled a trip there, so the Burmese couldn’t steal all the nuke-building information that he keeps hidden in his brain, at all times. [BBC]
  • SpaceX, a private company that wants to launch spaceships, is probably test-launching its new space rocket today! President Obama stopped by to nod meaningfully at the spacebound phallus, as it is key to his plan to stop giving money to NASA. [AFP]

Photo courtesy of the International Women’s Health Coalition, on the Flickr!

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  1. the burmese aren’t “building a bomb.” how gauche. they are merely investing in oil-well blowout prevention technology, which they need badly, as their country is overrun with oil wells. the only technology they presently have for controlling blowouts is the so-called “tony cap,” which is never guaranteed to work. and “top kill” is a forbidden phrase in burma. you understand, they are sensitive about that.

  2. If your live-in companion is thinking of running on the Republican ticket, the NYT Manual of Style should reflect that the proper term is “bitch”.

  3. Ew, Bloomberg looks like gross Mitch McConnell in that photo.

    p.s. Maybe Burma saw a great opportunity to start up a business which provides leaky oil well capping services. Maybe Burma reads Wonkette. When it’s not too busy.

  4. Good luck, SpaceX!

    and overheard from Bloomberg’s Amazon flapper friend “He isn’t short at all…not for a billionaire.”

  5. “It would be a great day if we reach orbital velocity, but still a good day if the first stage functions correctly, even if the second stage malfunctions,” the company said
    NASA never used to talk to us that way. NASA was all like…”maybe we’ll meet Vulcans” these guys are more like “well, if it doesn’t just leave a big smoking hole in the ground when it explodes, that’s a win”.
    To be fair though, that could just be the BP effect.

  6. “Despite Bloomberg being quoted as calling her his girlfriend in the story, the Times will only snootily call her his “companion,” as if they were gay men in the ’70s.”

    Maybe the NYTimes knows something we don’t.

    “Jim Webb heard a rumor that Burma is trying to build a nuclear bomb, so he cancelled a trip there”

    I think that he tried to find Burma in his atlas but only saw this place called Myanmar, then cancelled his trip out of confusion.

  7. Ok, that ad on the left sidebar with the title “Glenn Beck Exposed”? That’s creeping me out. Each time it loads, I mistake it for something announcing nekkid photos of Beck and I’m driven to thoughts of lifelong celebacy and perhaps even a cloistered convent.

  8. [re=591202]Terry[/re]: Put a big piece of tape on the left side of your screen like I did. I know he’s still there, exposed, but at least he’s not looking at me when I’m trying to read.

  9. To call her his girlfriend would be heteronormative and sexist, and The Gray Lady is nothing if not ahead of the curve with the new jargon, doodz.

  10. [re=591258]magic titty[/re]: Either that the “girlfriend” quote is a lie. Hey! I’m brainstorming here! Has Bloomie ever been married? For how long? To whom? They have kids? How did he treat her? Did he kiss her a lot in public? Too much? Not enough? On the lips? Which lips? Did he love her? Is he secretly gay? Does he….Oh, wait, Bloomie’s a Republican. Never mind.

  11. My father still says “lady friend” for “girlfriend” and “friend” for “boyfriend.” He can’t bring himself to say “boyfriend” when referring to the man that his 60 year-old manager is dating. We mock him.

  12. Hey, I read that unintended slur about my state of residence, and I can assure you that the Vermont Gay Maoist Coalition for a Permanent Revolution (VGMCPR) will be delivering a stinging rebuke shortly.

  13. [re=591280]magic titty[/re]: Evidently Bloomie’s affiliation wasn’t worth storing on my hard drive, I’m not sure I even put it in RAM. (Yes, that’s how I think sometimes, it’s pathetic. I once dropped a bunch of file folders and immediately thought, “Ctrl Z.”)

  14. [re=591280]magic titty[/re]: Well, he was a Democrat until he ran in 2001, then swung Republican, then went independent and supported Obama, so you could say he swang both ways and is no longer curious but firmly has his feet planted in the air.

  15. Hey, if the NYT Style Guide says “transvestite partner” is to be called “companion” not “girlfriend” that’s their business.

  16. The key question is what SHE permits him to call her in private, and it is likely one of the following: “Mistress,” “Maitresse,” “Goddess,” “Princess,” “Domina” or “Master.”

  17. By the time I get to Rangoon
    They’ll be enrichin’ uranium . . .

    (Oops, wrong Jim Webb)

    [re=591398]edgydrifter[/re]: Pretty what?

  18. Given that Bloomberg bought the Kingdom of New York, perhaps we should refer to his mistress as the crown consort? But why the hell would NYer’s elect her senator? If she can’t close the deal and get a ring on her finger from her billionaire boyfriend, how could we trust her to bring home the bacon to our state? If she’s going to sleep with Big Money, then Big Money should at least respect her enough to make an honest woman out of her. If marriage didn’t have its (economic) privileges, then the gays wouldn’t be fighting so hard to get it.

  19. Ha, they do it AGAIN here, with Cuomo’s girlfriend! Or that is to say his “Sweetheart”!

    Big City
    On the Campaign Trail, With a Tuna in Every Pot
    Sandra Lee, Andrew Cuomo’s sweetheart, promotes her own agenda before offering answers about her potential first ladydom.

    In the article:
    … Andrew M. Cuomo, Ms. Lee’s longstanding sweetheart, had been anointed the …

  20. I read somewhere this week that Richard Burton used to call Elizabeth Taylor “Twit Twaddle” when they were dating or married. When I saw that picture, my first thought was “now that’s a Twit Twaddle if I ever saw one.”

  21. umm fyi companion refers to the relationship between a gay midget and the woman he will never be sexually attracted to, in this case a gay midget made of actual limited edition gajillion-dollar bills

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