When you're lost in the rain in Juarez / And it's Eastertime too / And your gravity fails / And negativity don't pull you through.
Guess who’s coming to Cena? It’s anti-Mexican lady governor Jan Brewer, fresh from her family’s Time Machine Battles with Hitler! After enjoying a Taco-free lunch, Brewer told President Obama she’s sorry but she will need to see his papers to make sure he’s American. And whaddya know, he said he left his Birth Certificate on the Internet, in Hawaii. Awkward! Then she was sent to Gitmo, which is the white person pronunciation of Bahía de Guantánamo, the end. [White House Flickr]

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  1. [re=590879]actor212[/re]: it’s a gesture of supplication. she’s begging for federal funds to offset all the tourist and convention dollars her party flushed down the toilet.

  2. Notice there is no water pitcher in the pitcher (sorry); that’s so Barry can’t splash the Wicked Witch of the West and cause her to melt. Special effects are too expensive for this recession.

  3. “This official White House photograph is being made available only for publication by news organizations and/or for personal use printing by the subject(s) of the photograph. The photograph may not be manipulated in any way and may not be used in commercial or political materials, advertisements, emails, products, promotions that in any way suggests approval or endorsement of the President, the First Family, or the White House.”

    Does this mean no Blingee contest!

  4. Wow! She’s an old bat, isn’t she? And… Are those prayerful hands in respectful supplication to hte great black man in charge or is she just sportin’ a brand new gigundo nail job?

  5. Obama looks like he’s lecturing the Governor; let’s hope he’s going into his old role as a Constitutional law prof and explaining each way the Arizona law violates the Fourteenth Amendment.

    Or just explaining that all it’s pretty stupid to tell a lie that can be disproven using simple grade school arithmetic (44+11=55; 55>45).

  6. Gov. Brewer: Don’t call me gringa you fucking beaner, stay on your side of the goddamn river, don’t call me gringa, you beaner.

    Pres. Obama: No me digas beaner, Mrs. Puñetero; te sacaré un susto por racista y culero. No me llames frijolero, pinche gringa puñetero.

  7. [re=590894]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: The scary bit is, her unofficial portrait is sitting in a closet and looks a hundred times worse.

  8. “No, governor — while the gila monster has venom, it actually has to bite its prey a couple of times before it gets under the skin. And anyway, we don’t have any laws against them coming across the border of their own volition. As to whether they supported the Sandinistas against the Contras, I really don’t believe they had an opinion.”

  9. He’s explaining the old African(Kenyan?)-American adage: “Don’t write checks that your ass can’t cash” to Jan You-sure-do-a-lot-of-trash-talking-when-you’re-in-Arizona Brewer.

    tencentcomic: “Are those prayerful hands in respectful supplication to hte great black man in charge…” Yep. Also known as “Lord have mercy”.

    This is how Barry does his beat down. She shoulda aksed somebody.

  10. “Don’t put on any airs when you’re down on Rue Morgue Avenue
    They got some hungry little women there, and man, they’ll make a mess outa you.”

    It’s Dylan Day on our Wonkette — Hooray!

  11. [re=590892]azw88[/re]: Too bad he appointed her predecessor to homeland security. D’oh! We all fuck up once in a while, right?

  12. jan is a much older version of ann coulter – must have 5 years on her at least ….. considering what they are , they have held up adequately . i mean , considering what they are ….. all that nothingness inside – heavy on the soul , heavier on the looks .

  13. She looks like a flight attendant who has flown too much and realizes now that Lancome isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Also, picking off the uneaten carrot cakes as the trays come back from the economy cabin has only worked against her. It’s too late to fix it now, though.

  14. [re=590925]zhubajie[/re]: Well, yes, but judging from this photo, Jan let her makeup artist have the month off… something Ann would never let happen.

  15. Brewer: “This is a church. And this is its steeple. Open it up and see all the sheeple.”

    Obama: “With all due respect, Gov. Brewer, I believe this is the size of your brain.”

  16. Hey, wait a minute. Aren’t those the same apples that’ve been on that table for like 6 months now? I think they had photo day back in December or something and just trot ’em out when appropriate. Or expedient.

  17. She’s sporting the blond highlights, leathery skin, orange lipstick and manicure seen at every shuffleboard court in AZ. She is a woman of her people. The non-messican ones anyway.

  18. Ken, are you implying that’s the look of love?
    Actually she’s begging for her right to be silent because back in Az., Miranda left some time ago.

  19. [re=591022]bloatedwhitetruck[/re]: Holy God….are you sure that’s a woman and not, like, the nuttiest drag queen ever?

  20. No, no, no. I actually sat across from her at a local eatery. From where I was sitting I’m pretty sure she is a she, didn’t see any sign of old man balls a tuck or an adams apple. She was wearing a lovely rose print blouse and was holding court as her crones gathered about. Appeared to be eating a dainty lady salad. As I recall the table used to have a placard stating “Reserved for Governor Rose Mofford”. This was before the recent remodel.

  21. [re=591022]bloatedwhitetruck[/re]: Are you sure that’s not Babs Bush back in the day? When she was hot and George the Elder was on the prowl?

  22. Brewer’s first, childhood TV intox was with the Nickelodeon Spanglish series, “Y Su Mama Tambien.”
    And yet, and yet, we continue to condemn her.

  23. The only caption this photo will ever need:

    “Please, dear Lord, please don’t let the big mulatto man notice that I’m a white woman! They can’t handle themselves around white women… Oh lord, what am I going to do…”

  24. The picture: He wants her to come into his room to see his birth certificate. She wants him to be her date at a school choice convention in Phoenix.

  25. [re=590939]RoscoePColtraine[/re]: Something tells me you are describing an actual human being you know. Or does your story apply to pretty much all flight attendants past a certain age?

  26. [re=590920]V572625694[/re]:

    Looked at my watch & I looked at my wrist
    Punched myself in my face with my fist
    I took my taters back home to be mashed
    Then I made it down to that billion dollar bash

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