Nikki Haley hopes to be the new Mark Sanford of South Carolina, and various fellow Republicans are doing everything they can to make sure the “Palmetto State” continues to be known as the GOP’s hourly motel of sexy/immoral extra-marital affairs. First, some weird blogger (and former aide to Mark Sanford) released the shocking details of his alleged affair with Nikki Haley, and now a Republican aide to the lieutenant governor claims he had a one-night stand (sexual intercourse at a motel) with Haley, who was and is married. Do the Republicans of South Carolina simply lack any basic morals?
Republican gubernatorial front-runner Nikki Haley said Wednesday that a rival, Lt. Gov. Andre Bauer, is behind a last-minute attack, raising questions about her marital fidelity in an effort to undermine her campaign.
With less than a week before Tuesday’s primary, Bauer’s campaign said in a press release Wednesday that a Bauer political consultant, Larry Marchant, was asked to leave the campaign for “inappropriate conduct not in keeping with the goals of this campaign.”
Marchant, contacted by The State, said the conduct the press release referred to was a one-night sexual encounter that he had with Haley during a June 2008 school-choice convention in Salt Lake City.
Marchant, who also had a recent indiscretion in which he drove drunk and got a DUI, was fired by Bauer after the Bauer campaign put out a press release detailing Marchant’s alleged boinking of Nikki Haley. Do any of these people ever, ever keep their panties on? It’s like they just don’t care about running the state of South Carolina!
{ 90 comments }
Too many 3% beers in SLC and the next thing you know my ankles are behind my head. Shit.
“Marchant, contacted by The State”
Man, I loved that show. PORNO SEX ADDICT ROCKS NEW YORK, etc.
I, for one, welcome the new campaign strategy of attractive female candidates to win the votes of their straight male constituents by fucking each and every one of them.
Swamp Fox, indeed.
School choice gets me so hot and bothered. Those conventions are just full of sexxy mothervouchers.
I’m starting to think there’s a secret initiation ritual to get into the South Carolina GOP…
… and that it involves boinking.
We knows about the South Carolina muslin-inspired flag. Seems Nookie Nikki is following muslin literature by being serviced by a thousand and one reputard knights, also too.
[re=590248]Buzz Feedback[/re]: Really! How many of those airline bottles of vodka do you have to pound before pounding each other in a SLC motel at a “school choice convention,” whatever the fuck that may be?
As for who’s running SC, it’s pretty clear nobody is. Too much sexy time!
CNN is looking for reasons why the disclosure of affairs is good for a candidate.
“Fuck her!! I did!!”
I will gladly nail Michelle Bachmann if it’ll ruin her political career. I won’t nail Sarah Palin, though. There’s only so much I’ll do for my country.
Salt Lake City has long been known as America’s playground for one-night stands. Hell, people from Vegas go to SLC to get their boink on. Poor Nikki never had a chance.
Needs moar cum dripping from the corner of her mouth.
[re=590259]Serolf Divad[/re]: Kind of like a Bloods initiation. Either you get beaten in or you get buttsecksed in.
I hope for her sake it’s not another cousin of Skoal rebel.
Eat a few Palmettos and you too will end up with a well connected SC government official in a motel in the magical playland ‘South of the Border’.
Forgive me if someone beat me to this, but this reminds me of the quote about the former Idaho congressperson Helen Chenowith, who, it was said, was proof that it was possible to fuck one’s brains out.
It’s almost like that scene in Spartacus except amusing…
Everyone stands up “I banged Nikki Haley!”
[re=590268]President Beeblebrox[/re]: For the last time, cum drips are ONLY 4 PIX OF DOODZ!! Otherwise it’s racist.
[re=590267]Bordo[/re]: SLC is one of the most boring cities in the nation, with the lack of alcohol or really any from of entertainment, so there’s nothing to do while there but boink random strangers.
[re=590261]V572625694[/re]: “School choice” means mostly defunding all the public schools and indirectly giving the money to religious private schools for rich people while the poor kids are left with jack shit; in the South those private schools are probably segregated as well.
[re=590265]Larry McAwful[/re]: “I’ll do for my country” – Or the cuntry. I’m sorry I said that, but no one has said boo to me lately and I’ll do pretty much anything at this point to get attention.
Fuck her. I did.
Well, Ms. Haley is the only non-white in these love sandwiches (forbidden love????). She’s actually of Sikh/Indian descent: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nikki_Haley
I can’t figure out if this makes them good ol’ boys more prejudice or less…
weejee: Nookie Nikki == “Sikh and ye shall find?” Then nothing wrong w/ it, it’s in the Bible!
(Too obvious? Sorry.)
In times like these, friends, we must fall back on the time honored, journalistic mantra.
“Pics or GTFO”.
[re=590273]FMA[/re]: Really?
[re=590280]JMP[/re]: Ah, yes. The “Tuition Academy,” like the private school where Lisa Simpson’s rich friend goes.
oops….sorry, Balder T- guess it’s just a great line!
With less than a week before Tuesday’s primary, Bauer’s campaign said in a press release Wednesday that a Bauer political consultant, Larry Marchant, was asked to leave the campaign for “inappropriate conduct not in keeping with the goals of this campaign.”
That must refer to the fact that guys in Bauer’s campaign aren’t supposed to be mounting women.
JMP,
I know. I was joking. NBA players routinely list Salt Lake City as the worst town in America, for all the reasons you cite. As you note, there is nothing to do but boink away, which is why all those Mormon families average about 35 kids each.
For the record, I’d have bumped Nikki Haley (a) before she became a conservative or (b) before she got married. Both of those conditions are deal killers for this boy.
[re=590282]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: I understand the need for attention. That’s why I said I’d do Michelle Bachmann on live TV. Well, maybe I didn’t say that. But I would.
“Do the Republicans of South Carolina simply lack any basic morals?”
Morals? Since when are we lecturing others on morals? The only appalling aspect of this story is the lack of discretion of these southern gentlemen.
[re=590291]V572625694[/re]: The link didn’t work, but I’m assuming you linked to a photo of Chenowith. Maybe it was an “after” photo. Or you know, she’s from Idaho and maybe she’s what passes for hot there.
When is some dude gonna come out and claim he blew Andre Bauer, or vice versa?
Me thinks I will need a one-on-one interview with candidate Haley to get to the bottom of this. Don’t worry, it will be off the record and behind many closed doors.
So Nikki Haley is a slore, I have no problem with that.
Did Marchant leave the cash on the night stand or the dresser?
Well, I’d lay down some absorbent boom along her shoreline, if you know what I mean.
There are ways in which modestly attractive Republican lady candidates could win my vote.
And on a lighter note, Republicans spent $32 per voter on their Alabama primaries. Why direct cash payments are illegal is a mystery to me.
one-night stand (sexual intercourse at a motel)
I miss Jim Newell. He felt he never had to explain shit like this.
[re=590259]Serolf Divad[/re]:
At least these two had their encounter in a hotel rather that a graveyard.
Shazit & Shazam..feeling a wee deprived. How can a non-government fella take a stab of gittin’ Sticky Wit Nikki??
[re=590311]Prommie[/re]:
Andre is tightly closeted and has probably learned from others fall from power. He’s boyfriends won’t talk, one way or another.
School choice, but not social choice.
Don’t worry: I’m sure both parties cried a lot during the sex.
At this point, though, one wonders about Mr. Oftener-than-the-Comet Haley. Am I the only one to suspect a beard?
[re=590314]S.Luggo[/re]: Can you break a twenty?
[re=590299]Larry McAwful[/re]: I’m willing to take one for the team as well; I’ll boink Barbara, the hot Bush daughter, for America.
No wonder Republican children can’t locate South Carolina on maps and such.
I’m just waiting for one single photographs of Nikki Haley WITHOUT her teeth.
I think she’s taking the republican idea of the government f*cks you a little to literally
From the article: “Marchant’s claim came on the same day the Haley campaign released a new TV ad decrying the “dark side” of politics and prominently featuring her husband, Michael, and the Haleys’ two children.”
Are we sure they’re actually both Haleys’ children? Just saying, if I was Michael I’d be asking for a DNA test.
Well what do you expect from someone whose birth name is Nimrata. She’s really the type of light brown the GOP can handle. Changes name to more Merikan sounding name, changed to christianity, to complete the circle and go full Jindal, I expect an exorcism soon.
“a one-night sexual encounter that he had with Haley during a June 2008 school-choice convention in Salt Lake City.”
Well, she is totally hotter than Sarah Palin. And wtf else are you going to do at this event? She gets a pass for this one.
Obviously, SLC is the new Vegas.
[re=590332]Terry[/re]:
Dead men tell no tales.
Surely there are two night stands in SLC sextel rooms. Was the second damaged during Kama Sutra exercises?
I would like to send money to her campaign, but I wonder if I shouldn’t just cut out the middle man and find a way to offer it to her personally, in cash. I have a feeling she might just be disposed to give me a taste of her Southern hospitality.
Like their forefathers, the white men of SC still love to screw the dusky-hued womens, but those guys sure as hell don’t want ‘em running the joint.
Still, there’s been some improvement — “Yeah, I hit that” has at least replaced night time shotgun attacks and church bombings.
[re=590340]Geogre[/re]: Do promiscuous heteros who want to look respectable do that? I mean, go find a beard spouse, for looks? Cause, yeah, the dude, he doesn’t look like much, its like, you look at him, and her, and you can’t help but think, “no way.”
At keast Naughty Nikki went for a better class of fuck buddy.
http://www.tppg.com/about_larry.asp
[re=590343]Dashboard_Buddha[/re]: Larry paid for his night of sweaty, jizz-drenched animal lust with school vouchers. But remember that Nikki does have two kids. Often she gets just a packet of saltines for her efforts.
She must have something for ugly dudes.
[re=590358]EdFlinstone[/re]: She was smarter about it that ol’ Bobby, though. She not only hid her native Indianness by giving herself a cutesy American first name, but also took on an American-sounding last name. Of course, she *looks* more American (read: white) than Piyush “Bobby” Jindal, so she has that going for her, too.
Until the governor came along, I didn’t know that “Bobby” was short for “Piyush.” I would have thought the nickname would have been “Pishy” or something like that. Similarly, the logical nickname for “Nimrata” is “Nimrod,” but since she’s ashamed of her heritage, preferring the Aryan part of her Indo-Aryanness, she had to go with “Nikki.”
[re=590377]Prommie[/re]: At least in politics, where being single is unacceptable for whatever reason, all signs point to yes. See: Clinton, Bill; Kennedy, John.
[re=590395]JSDC007[/re]: He’s what you’d call “joli laid.” Except for the “joli” part.
Can i have next?
South Carolinians need to understand that for a Sikh whose family was fresh off the boat, those Christian American values may not necessarily apply.
South Carolinians need to understand that for a Republican office holder, those Christian American values may not necessarily apply.
Nikki also needs to bang only men who know something of discretion.
You didn’t ask: Piyush/Nimrata ’12!
(sorry, Wonkette reply-o-magic not working on my browser for some reason…)
[re=590371]Mr Blifil[/re]: It would be the polite thing to do and we all know Southerners are nothing if not polite and gracious.
I’m waiting for Lindsey Graham to say that he too banged Nikki Haley. Well, maybe no.
South Carolina, the Hot-Sheet State.
This whole thing seems so strange. I always thought of South Carolina as one of the most efficiently run states in the country. You don’t get to be #48 in the rankings by being a bunch of slack-jawed cousin fuckers.
Normally I’d wait to hear from the boys in the 7th Fleet before passing judgment on Nikki, but Larry sounds sincere.
From TPMmuckraker:
“This may be the worse decision I ever made in my life, only will time will tell. But I know in my heart what happened, and she’s knows in her heart what happened,” Marchant says. “And I just felt like I needed to bring this out. Because I just know, 10 years from now, if I look at myself in the mirror — ‘Why didn’t you say anything?’ It’s not a matter of, ‘Why did you say something Larry. It’s ‘Why didn’t you say?’ We had several drinks, we went to dinner, we went to a couple bars, we were with a lot of people — you know, it just happened. … I know she was making some very, very strong statements about her relationship [with her husband] and it bothered me.”
http://tinyurl.com/2a5qvzs
Larry, you are such a girl.
[re=590307]SlouchingTowardsWasilla[/re]: Lack of gentlemanly discretion?? Larry broke his silence for the sake of candidate Hot Panty’s husband, I mean cuckhold, I mean husband, I mean cuhold. (Anyway, see above.) In my view that was quite noble and … gentlemanly … and noble.
[re=590414]BklynIlluminati[/re]: The line starts at the ashram.
Q: Why does Nikki not go to orgies?
A: Too many thank-you notes to write.
(Okay, it started out as a Junior League joke.)
If my sister and her husband didn’t have a timeshare on Hilton Head in GA, and if Charleston wasn’t such a scenic city that I haven’t visited yet, I would SO boycott SC for having that Confederate flag, instead of visiting there in July.
Well, I, for one, am glad this did not involve their children or relatives within the gene pool danger zone. This is the South. Nuff said.
[re=590539]Que miras, cabron![/re]: What does this mean? Are you trying to tell a joke or are you simply an asshole?
[re=590516]Barcode of the Apocalypse[/re]: Promise not to enjoy the seafood (like at Slightly North of Broad) and please don’t get lost, since Hilton Head is in SC, not GA.
I banged Nikki Haley!
Please read about it on my blog! http://www.ibangednikkihaley.com is looking for editors who have also banged Nikki Haley. Act soon, before all the positions are filled, so to speak.
I live in the one night stand capitol? I did not know that. I thought you all were getting as much as we did. I certainly hope this reputation spreads. I will finally have something to be proud of in this state besides rocks.
She told me her name was Alice. She never calls….never writes…*sigh*
[re=590360]Schmegeg[/re]: Have you ever been to SLC? It’s the scariest city in the country, a kind of Stepford city. Hell, it’s scarier than Detroit.
[re=590615]FMA[/re]: I’ve visited both. Despite it’s many problems, Detroit has soul and some great Greek food. SLC has neither.
Old news. Everyone knows Repuke chicks are easy!
[re=590377]Prommie[/re]: I was just wondering, and I regretted the speculation, actually.
It’s just that heterosexual women in politics who sleep around, if they’re following stereotype, and there’s no reason to suspect that, do so to accumulate power. The Republican Party’s venomous hatred of gays and individual liberties in sexuality, its professed certainty and loud condemnation of gays, browns, etc., has proven to be a siren song for gay men who want to use it to punish the part of themselves they hate the most. So, why would she cheat? Why would he not know? Why would she be married to him? It’s strange enough for a woman to be promiscuous with this much at stake, and with such notoriously indiscreet individuals, that it raises the speculation that it’s a marriage of convenience.
I regret speculating it, also.
The South will rise again And again and again.
[re=590852]Geogre[/re]:
It’s just that heterosexual women in politics who sleep around, if they’re following stereotype, and there’s no reason to suspect that, do so to accumulate power.
That’s why they screw bloggers? Then Ken Layne should be the King of Pussy.
Stolen from Gawker:
Republican SC state Senator Jake Knotts said on a radio talk show:
“We already got one raghead in the White House, we don’t need a raghead in the governor’s mansion.”
(Haley is of Indian descent.) In response to this, Democratic state senator Boy Brown—who was also on the show—told CNN
“He said some things he shouldn’t have said. That’s Jakey.”
Raghead, Jakey, Boy Brown? Are you kidding me?
[re=590429]whiterabid[/re]: There’s an Andrae Bauer joke in there somewhere.
NYNYNY I was about to post the same thing http://bit.ly/9OlC96. No, they are not kidding. Yet people have the nerve to make fun of Nikki Haley’s given name.
My dad died banging Nikki to defend America from the Nazi regime in Germany!
You All should understand we do not cross breed down here unless it is a dire emergency. If you are a Repub, you have to Bang another Rebub, No Dems allowed. Unless it is 2:00 AM and you are in another state of mind or on vacation or business trip outside of SC. It does not matter how attractive, friendly, etc., they are. They have to take this Secret Oath before they can run for office. C’mon Wonketters’ read the Bylaws. Oh, by the way the Bangee in this case use to work for Andre`, and we know he would not tolerate a tryst with a member of the opposite sex by his own staff.
Yeah, I’d boink it.
After further reading: I’d boink her Sikh to Methodist transitioned frame.
and: What is wrong with South Carolina? Looks like Sherman picked the wrong state to whip up on.
[re=590575]What Fresh Hell is This?[/re]: Does your handle refer to the Dorothy Parker quote or the band? Dorothy Parker you are not.
Comments on this entry are closed.