It’s an important day in world history: the kick-off of Rod Blagojevich’s Effing Golden, Parachute-Me-There Courtroom Circus Spectacular. So how does one go about mentally preparing for the stress of facing 24 federal criminal counts? Maybe a nice jog through the mean streets, or some kickball?
For Illinois’s most extraordinary “Champion for Ordinary People,” the answer lay in an evening run, during which he consoled Mary Magdalene and a few weeping gang members as he made his way down the tough streets of Chicago. He also stopped by a neighborhood park and indulged in a little kickball action, proving once again his commitment to serving the People of Illinois with balls.
Marcus Gilmer, editor of the online newspaper Chicagoist, was embedded at Winnemac Park in Chicago’s north side when he witnessed the unexpected Blago sighting:
The participants hollered at Blago to come back and try a kick and take a picture. Never one to say no to a camera, he obliged. But how did he do kicking? We’ll never know: just as the ball approached home plate, he took off, still jogging jogging jogging towards freedom, proclaiming he had to get home for “very important appointments” ….
Gilmer speculates that the People’s Governor wanted to go home and watch his Blackhawks defeat the Philadelphians in “The Stanley Cup Finals,” a good vs. evil morality play-on-ice that is similar to Blagojevich’s own story. But another witness on the scene said that Blago talked about reviewing his list of people he still has to subpoena, which includes everyone he has ever met plus Bo Obama the dog. [Chicagoist]
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He’s just like Rocky, but more ethnic, but still white!
He needs to get a haircut before appearing in court, one would think.
Looking at the picture of the kickball game Blago joined, what the fuck? Those are adults. Playing kickball. That’s a game designed for small children; there is no excuse for anyone over the age of 8 to play kickball, ever.
Well, these are Northsiders; fuckin’ yuppies, I suppose it shouldn’t be surprising.
Considering where he’s heading, he needs to practice running with his pants around his ankles, intermittently swatting the air behind his buttocks.
Once he gets out of prison, he can run for governor again, assuming he’s still alive. And he’ll probably win, too, as long as he goes up against candidates like Satan, Peter Cetera and Alan Keyes. Any better candidates than that and he’ll probably lose.
I look forward to his fuckin’ golden testimony in his own defense. You know his lawyers won’t be able to stop him.
Not sure, but does Blago have more hair than Perry? Speaking of Perry. He is having a knee operation. Word is it’s from “normal wear and tear” for his age. I say it’s from kneeling in front of big oil. That’s just my takeaway.
“Honey, I just got a tweet that Rahm’s down at the kickball field, naked, stabbing people in the chest.”
[re=590279]Whitey Did Katrina[/re]: or maybe more like Forest Gump with all the jogging…
Kickball, eh? Wow, talk about an appropriate synecdoche for what Blago can look forward to in prison forever.
[re=590308]Texan Bulldoggette[/re]: A box of chocolates is a fucking valuable thing &c.
[re=590295]dijetlo[/re]: Shit, got here too late. Yours was funnier though.
Ohhhhhh god this is why Chicago is so great – you cannot beat the Live Theatre of the Courts!
Blago was in my neighborhood park and I missed it. Sad face.
Blago: king of Hair Ball.
Just like season 3, episode 4 of “Boondocks”.!
you should watch that shit.
“He also stopped by a neighborhood park and indulged in a little kickball action, proving once again his commitment to serving the People of Illinois with balls.”
Correction: “…proving once again his commitment to kicking the balls of the People of Illinois.”
Fixed!
reviewing his list of people he still has to subpoena, which includes everyone he has ever met plus Bo Obama the dog.
Bo Knows.
I hope Wonkette is sending Lauri to live-blog the trial à la firedoglake. The sketches would be awesome!
He’s got some serious moobs goin on there, he’ll be the ‘belle of the balls’ in jail!
Needz moar Spanx.
Staring at that joyful photo, I can’t help but think that someday the non-hair parts of Goldie Blago’s head will shrink away to the size of a pluot, his two miniscule eyes finally blended into one inscrutable black hole, a rowdy floof of hair over two gigantic moobs, which, whatever. It’s just what I see.
If I were him, I’d be looking into retirement to Paraguay or some place like that. Without extradition! I presume he (or wifie) is smart enough to have ye olde overseas bank account?
[re=590290]JMP[/re]: Rumsfeld was a northsider, wasn’t he? Or northern suburbs, maybe.
How can you not like this crooked Serb political hack?
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