Esteemed man of letters Fred “#ftrs” Thompson drove a Folksy Truck of the People long before Scott Brown ever drove his pants-free pickup all over Taxachusetts, winning votes and ladies’ hearts. So just how come nobody has asked him for his views on Brown’s fancy rip-off truck, you’ve been wondering for so many months now? Well, wonder no more!
“Someone FINALLY asked me about Scott Brown’s pick-up truck,” Thompson recently wrote on his Nobel Prize-winning Twitter, Teaching the #Farters to Twat. Thompson had been roaming the aisles of a Virginia bookstore, trying to con people into buying his new coloring book about pigs, when he ran into a woman from the patriot blog Townhall.com. This lady had a microphone and camera crew and actually seemed interested in talking to Thompson, which is strange.
You can watch their whole chit-chat sesh on “The Fred Thompson Show” — one of the Internet’s top political comedy channels — but the most exciting part is when the interviewess asks Thompson if he felt “usurped” by Scott Brown and his posermobile. And Thompson responds “hells yes,” and that Brown owes him “a lot of money” for failing to credit him as America’s first Pickup Truck Senator. “I need some royalties off that, although I’m not sure how that will be calculated.”
And then Thompson makes ha-ha with the lady, using his acting skills to pretend like he wasn’t serious. Later that day, he Twittered Brown an invoice for $2 million, which Brown said he will repay in the $1 bills he earns from dancing at bachelorette parties.
Speaking of money and Fred Thompson and literature, did you know that you can get his pig book for “free,” plus $49.95? The money buys you membership into the exclusive “Fred Head” club, which comes with a year’s supply of everlasting liberty and one free ride in the back of Thompson’s 4×4 of Victory. This is America’s greatest bargain, after the dollar menu.
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Yes, Scott. Look at the success of Fred’s vaunted Preznitcy campaign machine and be awed by its youth, energy, intellect and wisdom. Gaze upon Fred’s work and…zzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzz zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Consider all the happy hours Geri spent looking at Scott’s centerfold in Playgirl, I would say they’re even.
I’da thought Brown would just pimp out his daughters to raise the $2 million.
Jesus, Fred…gah. What kind of weak-kneed pussified RINO are you? Get a suit filed on this, or we’re taking back your hackneyed bullshit southern vernacular.
This be Fatfuck Freddy’s greatest comic turn since Looking For Comedy in the Muslin World!
Jeeze — that Fred Thompson Show website is dangerous — first of all, there are five pictures of Fred grinning visible right as you open up the page. He looks like a combination of Kenny Rogers, Terry Bradshaw and something fondant-free on cakewrecks. Second, the first words I read were “Hour One” — the prospect of that followed by Hour Two were enough to shut my brain right down.
Hm; maybe I should sue Joe Sestak, then, because he just ripped off my idea of being less than eighty years old.
wasn’t all this that one ‘law and order’ episode guest-starring levar burton?
The Townhall interviewess is attractive and cannot possible be a sincere wingnut; probably working on a stunning expose.
It’s writing like this that alleviates the hurt of Jim’s departure.
(;_;) —-> (^_^)
Is Jim taking #Dipshit McGoo with him?!?
…the interviewess asks Thompson if he felt “usurped” by Scott Brown and his posermobile. And Thompson responds “hells yes,” and that Brown owes him “a lot of money”
Those have to be some of the worst “pickup lines” I’ve ever heard.
Fred Thompson as a dunderheaded, pompous, wingnut pink-people boss was a rare case of Dick Wolf typecasting. Brown is merely another Wisconsin River Republican — an inch deep and a quarter-mile wide. Each is a fine example of what is hideous about their generation of fratboy Repuglican — but it is fun watching both trying to hide from the cannibals.
Are we allowed to say TRUCK on here? I bet we can’t say NUTZ.
NUTZ. NUTZ. NUTZ. NUTZ. NUTZ. NUTZ. NUTZ. NUTZ.
There. I feel better…now.
Where did Fred store his jowls in that tiny pick-up?
[re=589313]Prommie[/re]: “Pimping out daughters?? Prommie! You’re suspended!!”
Time to go make a pilot for CNN.
Shriveled TruckNutz(TM). Also.
I hope Fred gets his life back.
But, but, doesn’t Scotty actually own his pickup truck? Freddikins just rented his.
I heard an interview on NPR with the head writer for Law and Order the other day, who made no bones about the fact that Fred Thompson was a complete douche, that he chastised the writers for their “liberal” scripts, and that the episodes made during Thompson’s time there were compromised in quality. This head writer also went on to mock Fred’s “five minute” Presidential campaign. Almost made me turn on TNT for their never ending L&O marathon.
[re=589525]watershed[/re]: I often wonder if the order they play episodes in is truly random, or if it’s some sort of Commie communication channel.
Uh, Fred, some Mexican did that WAY before you ripped off the idea. And his was WHITE, the color of America, not Commie Red like yours.
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