• May 26, 2012
SPEED KILLS

June 2, 2010

Sarah Palin Has Some Tough Words For Amphetamines

by Josh Fruhlinger  

TO THE EXTREME

Yes, governor, we do get it now! When you were leading thousands of morons in shouting “drill, baby, drill” (or, sorry, “drill,baby,drill”) and “drill here, drill now”, what you were trying to get at was that we should in no way be doing exploratory offshore drilling, baby, exploratory offshore drilling, because that’s dangerous. How could we have been so blind?

If an oil well in ANWR had blown up, the oil would just kind of pool all over the tundra, where it’s really too cold for media people to come up and make a big fuss, and it would be much easier to just nuke it, like the Russians did. Funny how none of that came across in your slogan, which just seemed to imply that we should drill the crap out of everywhere to get oil! It’s almost as if reductionist chants don’t carry nuance, and allow you to claim they mean any convenient bullshit you want when they become inconvenient!

Oh, and, word to the wise: it’s totally OK to use whatever pill-based stimulants you need in order to get in the Twitterin’ mood, but it’s not necessary to actually name-check them at the beginning of your tweet. That just eats into your 140 characters. [The Greatest Twitter In The World]

{ 130 comments }

norbizness June 2, 2010 at 9:47 am

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

PhineusJWhoopee June 2, 2010 at 9:47 am

Why did anyone think she would be a good VP, again?

MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend June 2, 2010 at 9:48 am

If anyone ever deserved the phrase dumb cunt, it’s this dumb cunt.

chascates June 2, 2010 at 9:49 am

Lamestream Twitter

smitallica June 2, 2010 at 9:49 am

We need a new word for this woman. “Cunt” just falls so short.

chowkster June 2, 2010 at 9:50 am

WTF is she trying to say here? Is she seriously claiming that drilling in ANWR would be ok because a leak like this there would not be damaging?

ttommyunger June 2, 2010 at 9:50 am

Pills, she don’t need no stinkin’ pills…Of course, if she did, she might not be up to her armpits in offspring, but that’s another story.

samsuncle June 2, 2010 at 9:51 am

Thanks John McCain. May you roast in hell.

ella June 2, 2010 at 9:53 am

For somebody who only managed to finish college by hopping around to five or six of them and by taking a degree not much above basket weaving, for somebody who beauty-pageanted her way into adulthood, for somebody who couldn’t bother finishing one term as governor, for somebody who thought Louboutin was an elitist cheese until the RNC gave her a pair or ten, she sure likes to sound like a know-it-all in her tweets.

Baby who ate the Dingo June 2, 2010 at 9:53 am

Who is she and Why does she advocate the repeal of child labor laws? We outlawed child labor so no baby has to operate an unstructured sentance or a drill. Until age four, when they get the re-education indoctrination from the Young Kommsomol. Which you can see in Russia from under her fence.

Big Liver June 2, 2010 at 9:53 am

In fact, I don’t get, at least not yet. I’m trying to get it, but something’s not connecting. Did something happen that I missed? Why would I get it now, if I haven’t gotten it during the previous years? I don’t get it.

Larry McAwful June 2, 2010 at 9:53 am

Well, she has a point: oil spills never happen on shore in northern Alaska. Unless you count Prudhoe Bay, which has nearly daily oil spills, but no pesky media because it’s so hard to get there, and no one lives there anyway. ANWR is even better, because it doesn’t have a road leading into the place, so any oil spills there could probably go undetected for months.

freakishlystrong June 2, 2010 at 9:55 am

Yes Sarah. We’re sure that’s what you meant by drillbabydrill. You’ve managed to make all us lefty environmentalists feel really stupid now, after the spillbabyspill.

Prommie June 2, 2010 at 9:55 am

My methylin capsules are a pretty “putty” color, not green at all.

SuedeDwayne June 2, 2010 at 9:56 am

she has a point, though – darn hippies and they’re fervent support for the deepwater horizon project. how does it taste now? DO YOU GET IT, ANWR 4EVA!!

Baldar T Flagass June 2, 2010 at 9:58 am

[re=589119]smitallica[/re]:
“A righteous infliction of retribution by an appropriate agent, personified in this case by an ‘orrible cunt.
Sarah.”

At least Brick Top had a cool accent, not a dentist drill’s incessant whine.

Katydid June 2, 2010 at 9:59 am

[re=589119]smitallica[/re]: I can think of a few choice words that better describe her, and in checking on one of ‘em in Urban Dictionary I found a few others, but even I can’t write them here. A few I’ve never even uttered in my life. The most accurate description of Snowbilly is “demagogue,” and let’s just leave it at that.

JMP June 2, 2010 at 9:59 am

I had suspected that the wignuts only cared about the BP spill because of the loss of their precious oil, not the the destruction of the environment and jobs, but it’s nice to see this idiot basically come out and make it clear.

Oh, and Sarah; when you say “drill baby drill” or “lamestream media”, they’re not laughing with you, they’re laughing at you.

iburl June 2, 2010 at 10:00 am

Geeze and I thought that the drill baby drill slogan was also about drilling offshore like pro snow racer Todd palin did for a living. Also I thought that humanitarian supplies were not WMD, god damn, i’m a moron.

WadISay June 2, 2010 at 10:00 am

Did Trig get hold of Sarah’s Twitter account?

One Yield Regular June 2, 2010 at 10:00 am

“Today the president said he’ll ‘consider potential areas for development in the mid and south Atlantic and the Gulf of Mexico, while studying and protecting sensitive areas in the Arctic.’ As the former governor of one of America’s largest energy-producing states, a state oil and gas commissioner, and chair of the nation’s Interstate Oil and Gas Conservation Commission, I’ve seen plenty of such studies. What we need is action — action that results in the job growth and revenue that a robust drilling policy could provide. And let’s not forget that while Interior Department bureaucrats continue to hold up actual offshore drilling from taking place, Russia is moving full steam ahead on Arctic drilling, and China, Russia, and Venezuela are buying leases off the coast of Cuba…Next week I’m headed to the Southern Republican Leadership Conference in New Orleans, where I look forward to discussing what “Drill, baby, drill” really means.” – Sarah Palin, National Review, March 31, 2010

Keep drillin’ that chicken, Sarah.

Hart88 June 2, 2010 at 10:00 am

[re=589126]Big Liver[/re]: forget it, Jake – it’s Wasilla

gradgrind June 2, 2010 at 10:01 am

I’m callin’ it: The Extreme Greenies’ awesome new hit, “Don’t Carry Nuance,” will be available on iTunes Friday.

ManchuCandidate June 2, 2010 at 10:02 am

The dumb is strong in that one.

Gregoire June 2, 2010 at 10:03 am

I was wondering how she would qualify her most famous slogan. She’s kind of like a 1930s vaudevillian whose most famous slogan was “Go Nazis!”

What I meant to say was “Go, Nazis!”

the problem child June 2, 2010 at 10:05 am
Katydid June 2, 2010 at 10:06 am

[re=589119]smitallica[/re]: [re=589133]Katydid[/re]: Well, they’re not exactly new words for Snowbilly, but Urban Dictionary does have some nice words that describe her antics, followers and the people who hate her. Her twats would be examples of her palintificating, I guess. I do think My Wonketteers could do much better, though.

JadedDIssonance June 2, 2010 at 10:07 am

Don’t feed the trolls, Josh.

weejee June 2, 2010 at 10:08 am

[re=589119]smitallica[/re]: TWINO? twatwaffle in name only.

queeraselvis v 2.0 June 2, 2010 at 10:09 am

Twat’s that, Sarah? I cunt hear you over your incessant shouty stupidity.

snideinplainsight June 2, 2010 at 10:10 am

I truly, truly wish she would exercise her right to remain silent. For the rest of forever -

germansteel June 2, 2010 at 10:10 am

Let me remind you of the immortal words of John McCain: “Sarah Palin is the foremost energy expert in the country.”

Now is one of those times when I really appreciate the surprising fact that our nation of morons had a rare moment of lucidity on election day, 2008.

Surfeit O'Hubris June 2, 2010 at 10:14 am

[re=589133]Katydid[/re]: I like “Harpy”; it’s stood the test of time, and the dumb harpy would think it’s elitist.

BOOBIES! June 2, 2010 at 10:14 am

The one thing Sarah learned from the Exxon Valdez disaster in Prince William Sound is that oil spills don’t harm Alaska because Alaska is full of magic and Jesus.

Edsdesk June 2, 2010 at 10:15 am

Sarah, Sarah, legs divine…

lips of cheap red screwcap wine.

Hypercooling gas condenser;

pops out babies like a Pez dispenser.

Monsieur Grumpe June 2, 2010 at 10:16 am

Her reasoning process is only exceeded by her grasp of the English language.

freakishlystrong June 2, 2010 at 10:17 am

Oh, and as a Gulf Coast Floridian, a hearty Fuck you to you. Also.

Bordo June 2, 2010 at 10:18 am

I wish Wonkette would stop reprinting this idiot’s tweets and Facebook upchucks. Every time I read something from this brainless grifter, my IQ goes down a point. If I ever stooped to read her “book,” I’d be unable to tie my own shoes.

Goddam, but she is stooooopid.

weejee June 2, 2010 at 10:19 am

snark off

We’ve got a rather larger NOAA contingent up here in C’Addle. Doug Helton of NOAA said that with unlimited amounts of Ameros we’d be lucky to collect 20% of the oil that’s fouling the Gulf.

I has two sads, the Gulf and adios Newell.

Lilybart June 2, 2010 at 10:19 am

larrymcawful: of course, if there were a well to leak in the ANWR there would be lots of roads built also, too.

AuntieLola June 2, 2010 at 10:19 am

I had no idea that it was the extreme greenies who spilled that oil. Thanks for clearing that up, Sarah! Palinfreude.

Lilybart June 2, 2010 at 10:19 am

[re=589154]BOOBIES![/re]: Ding, Ding, Ding! You are the winner today.

sham69 June 2, 2010 at 10:21 am

What’s worse than being dumb? Being willfully dumb…

actor212 June 2, 2010 at 10:21 am

So regular Greenies oppose drilling offshore but have no problem with ANWR or any other land-based ecological disaster, but it’s only EXTREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEME GREEEEEEEEEEEENIEEEEEEEEEEEES, like Green to the Max Infinite Power!!!!!!111!!!!!one!!!! that oppose even that.

Cool. We can make it an event at the Winter X Games.

Das Storminator June 2, 2010 at 10:21 am

I kind of hate these guys, but they do have a nice collection of footage of Mrs. Palin.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rn2Tyh6b5dE

snideinplainsight June 2, 2010 at 10:25 am

So, wait, liking trees and clean air and water makes me an Exteeeeme Greenie?

Larry McAwful June 2, 2010 at 10:26 am

[re=589162]Lilybart[/re]: Good point. Maybe we can flatten some of that wildlife before we start drilling. We have a plan!

4tehlulz June 2, 2010 at 10:26 am

Sarah Palin objectively opposes deepwater drilling.

Why does Sarah Palin oppose energy independence for America?

ph7 June 2, 2010 at 10:27 am

Sarah learned this important lesson from the nuclear industry, which learned to stop placing its nuclear reactors in places like Three Mile Island, but in safe, onshore places like Chernobyl.

Serolf Divad June 2, 2010 at 10:27 am

This is why Palin has been an eloquent and long standing critic of offshore oil exploration.

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!

But anyway, let’s face it guys: Palin’s supporters love her because she lies.

ladymacbeth June 2, 2010 at 10:28 am

greenies are a serious problem and a highly addictive, highly dangerous substance.

why does sarah palin hate america’s vulnerable pets?

oldguy June 2, 2010 at 10:29 am

This is simply a clarification of her position of May 23, 2010: WASHINGTON (AP) — “Sarah Palin on Sunday said she remains a “big supporter of offshore drilling” despite the Gulf of Mexico oilspill.” http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2010/may/23/palin-supports-offshore-drilling/

Hemp Dogbane June 2, 2010 at 10:34 am

Coming soon, the SP/Twitter voice app for iPhone. Don’t read Sarah’s twats when you can listen to them in her own distinctive voice.

ph7 June 2, 2010 at 10:34 am

Self-contradicting fame whores just want their life back.

the problem child June 2, 2010 at 10:34 am

[re=589178]ladymacbeth[/re]: She cleaned out their free samples! http://www.greenies.com/en_ca/FreeSample/

Elephants Gerald June 2, 2010 at 10:36 am

LookatmelookatmelookatmeallofthemdrillbabydrilllookatmeIQUITdon’tlookatmykidslookatmykidlookatmelookatmebuythebookbuythebooklookatmelookatmedon’tlookatmenextdoordrillbabydrill.

OReillysVibrator June 2, 2010 at 10:41 am

The Republicans TRIED chanting the phrase “drill baby drill, but only in known reserves and promising finds in safe onshore places”, but the clapping that accompanies the chants proved too confusing. Also, they never said any of that.

Oldskool June 2, 2010 at 10:41 am

Extreme Greenies is an excellent name for a band. Say, Green Day meets Zeppelin.

McDuff June 2, 2010 at 10:42 am

Sarah and her crew must have missed the point when history class studied Father Coughlin, Huey Long, Joe McCarthy, and Herr Hitler — which was, of course, “don’t fall for the seemingly cheap and easy explaination for your problems offered by demagogues like these,” or maybe it was DON’T DATE ROBOTS!!

stew June 2, 2010 at 10:44 am

See, the oil freezes and become a bunch of “oilcicles” and we then take them to the gas-making place and kill some moose to celebrate and…will this fucking idiot just go away!

Come here a minute June 2, 2010 at 10:44 am

[re=589129]Prommie[/re]: Rose my color is and white, Pretty mouth and green my pills.

stew June 2, 2010 at 10:47 am

I use to make “extreme greenies” in fifth grade and nail passing cars with them–ah, the good old days…

Pandy June 2, 2010 at 10:53 am

I was having such a good Wednesday. *sigh*

Baldar T Flagass June 2, 2010 at 10:56 am

“Which is your favorite place to drill, Ms Palin?”
“All of them.”

AuntieLola June 2, 2010 at 10:59 am

needsmorespacesandcowbellalsoand

actor212 June 2, 2010 at 11:01 am

[re=589187]Oldskool[/re]: o/~ And she’s buy-uying, an American Idiot….

FalconerHK June 2, 2010 at 11:03 am

Sarah Palin is every Black Eyed Peas song lyric ground up and rolled into a shrieky, self-aggrandizing waitress-shaped doobie.

Oh, and “Drill” will be what she names her next tardspawn.

mumblyjoe June 2, 2010 at 11:03 am

I love how even CNN is getting fed up with Snowbilly Grifter’s whole “nuh uh, that’s not what I said” approach to every past statement she’s ever made that’s turned out to be embarrassing, or short-sighted, and also embarassing, and pointing out that she said the exact opposite, say, during the 2008 debate.

I mean, they’re still stopping short of calling her a lying liar who lies all the time, for fun, but it’s something.

sarcasticusername June 2, 2010 at 11:03 am

why am i continually surprised by the seemingly boundless stupidity, and sheer gall of this woman? there had better be a very special place being kept nice and toasty in hell for john mccain and the snowbilly grifter he foisted upon the rest of us.

doxastic June 2, 2010 at 11:10 am

Who knew you could wring so much condescension from such a small intellect? And in tweet form! Sarah Palin is like the Basho of petty ressentiment.

proudgrampa June 2, 2010 at 11:11 am

[re=589185]Elephants Gerald[/re]: I nominate this for the Urban dictionary under the entry Harpy Demagoguery.

populucious June 2, 2010 at 11:14 am

No, I don’t get it. But the ravings of crack addicts don’t tend to make a lot of sense, and the Gulf oil spill has convinced me that oil is the crack of the RNC.

mustardman June 2, 2010 at 11:21 am

ZZzzzzzzzz, I liked her better (ie. hated her less) when she was candidate Palin. Not diggin this new vegas Palin.

TubeCity June 2, 2010 at 11:22 am

To be fair, when Palin would say, “drill, baby, drill,” she did NOT do a bump and grind.

She did hip bumps to each side and some… wiggling. It was a bump and wiggle, not a bump and grind.

FalconerHK June 2, 2010 at 11:24 am

[re=589216]populucious[/re]: I thought the crack of the RNC was the blood and tears of little brown orphans.

Escape Goat Nation June 2, 2010 at 11:27 am

5 days ago Stupid Sarah posted this:

“I never say drill,baby,drill” Ahh, that’s much of the problem,Mr.President;Drill ANWR&unlock land for safe onshore devlpmnt/energy securty

jennx June 2, 2010 at 11:30 am

[re=589115]MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend[/re]: Ha, ya, she’s the only person who ever got me to use that word.

Baby who ate the Dingo June 2, 2010 at 11:32 am

I hear she has a recipe she’s cooked up with a couple of Teabaggers to mix moose guts and the oily goo in a big vat of evil. Shipped to Dr. Rand’s plant in Kentucky, and after blanching, the mix is pressure molded into little doll forms, that, after hardening, can be dressed like the cleanup crew, except they are baby sized.

BP and the Teabaggers, teaming up together for America, and making tar babies from tar balls.

Escape Goat Nation June 2, 2010 at 11:36 am

Also, from a Mar 15 MySpaceBook post,
http://www.facebook.com/notes/sarah-palin/nonstop-dc-nonsense-drilling-down-on-energy-doublespeak/364728493434

“At a time when our country is desperate for job growth, deficit reduction, and energy independence, it’s simply astonishing that the administration refuses to allow additional offshore drilling, even while supporting energy development in foreign countries.

According to a study by the American Energy Alliance, opening the OCS to drilling could create as many as 1.2 million new jobs and add hundreds of billions of dollars annually to the US economy. Those are real American jobs – and great American opportunities – that can’t be outsourced. Offshore drilling would provide billions in revenue for our states, allowing them to reduce their budget deficits without raising taxes. It would help reduce our trade deficit, which spikes with each rise in the price of oil because we’re so reliant on foreign sources of energy. And because we have some of the best environmental standards in the world, we should be drilling for our own oil instead of buying it from countries with less stringent standards.”

That’s right Sarah, we have created 1.2 Million jobs for Bird and Rock washers.

Has it not dawned yet on this imbecile that her words stay on the intertubes for a long time and anyone with 30 seconds of free time can look them up?

jetjaguar June 2, 2010 at 11:38 am

can’t… contain… anger…

the wiz June 2, 2010 at 11:38 am

ya know, I know this woman is worthless. I know everything she says is shit. I know she has never had an intelligent thought in her life and cares only about Sarah an ruining this country. But I can’t stop reading about her. Help me…please… Also, why does anybody care what she says?

Mustang June 2, 2010 at 11:39 am

Damn! Josh just threw out this truckbedful of raw meat a couple of hours ago, and it’s already all been et by varmints. I have to check the feed lot more often.

Hoplight June 2, 2010 at 11:41 am

Extreme Greenies? Aren’t those special order dog treats for 200 pound dogs?

Hoplight June 2, 2010 at 11:43 am

[re=589243]the wiz[/re]: She’s the political equivalent of the armless bearded lady with backward feet in the sideshow tent at the circus. In this case you pay in nickels of sanity.

Slattenpat June 2, 2010 at 11:46 am

“Now do you get it?”

If she means “nausea” then, yes, Sarah Palin, when I listen to you I “get” the pukes and start projectile barfing everywhere, you vomitous swine.

S.Luggo June 2, 2010 at 11:49 am

Followed by this Tweet:
“Contested primaries=so good 4 USA!Competition makes 1 work harder,b more efficient,produce more&better;Congrats NM’s S.Martinez;on 2 Novembr”

Simple Sarah should know. This is why one quits after winning the election.

Anyway, “contested primaries” are what you get in Iraq, you stoopid hooker.

And how exactly does a person, as opposed to, say, a watch, “work better”?

I can’t stop, I can’t stop. The woman is comedy gold.

SayItWithWookies June 2, 2010 at 11:50 am

So it’s the environmentalists who caused offshore drilling by over-regulating the onshore stuff, is that her point? And these environmentalists were so stupid as to decide that offshore drilling was just fine? Right — it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that all the onshore places to drill are virtually tapped out. If there was a gusher like Deepwater Horizon’s onshore in the US, that place would be the new Texas. As it is, Texas used to be the new Pennsylvania. Anyway, if you want to see the lovely future of onshore drilling — it makes strip mining and mountaintop removal look like Yosemite National Park.
http://www.cbc.ca/edmonton/features/dirtyoil/dirtyoil.html

Rock Ripsnort June 2, 2010 at 11:53 am

All I can say is this is a shitty 46th bday present.

comicbookguy June 2, 2010 at 11:55 am

From this day forward, shall wonkette post the morning twat of our dear Miss Sarah’s infinite twatty wisdom of her twitter feed and we shall all read it and comment.

As a constant reminder of greatness.

Formerly Preferred June 2, 2010 at 11:56 am

I just noticed that she uses SarahPalinUSA. Who is plain old SarahPalin? Is there a SarahPalinRussia? I am too lazy to find out. I don’t know how to use teh Twitter, also.

AnnieGetYourFun June 2, 2010 at 12:01 pm

[re=589136]WadISay[/re]: Hey, that’s not funny. If Trig were Twittering, the tweets would make a great deal more sense.

Prommie June 2, 2010 at 12:03 pm

She’s like a terrior that just vomited all over your carpet and is just standing their in exultant triumph over the work of art she produced.

Thats whats so infuriating, the triumphant self-congratulation, her belief that this shit somehow means she has “won,” bested those stupid greens.

“I sure showed them, in your face, USA, USA.”

S.Luggo June 2, 2010 at 12:03 pm

[re=589267]SayItWithWookies[/re]: The Alberta sludge ponds are the new Mississippi coast. Or do I that Palin-backwards?

lizzieborden June 2, 2010 at 12:20 pm

[re=589115]MargeSimpsonsBlackFriend[/re]: How about “seeping vagina”?

lawrenceofthedesert June 2, 2010 at 12:29 pm

“Drill, baby” makes perfect sense in the Brain to Nowhere.

comicbookguy June 2, 2010 at 12:30 pm

She is going to fight the Green Meanies with her hit song, “All You Need Is Sludge”

jus_wonderin June 2, 2010 at 12:31 pm

[re=589119]smitallica[/re]: “We need a new word for this woman. “Cunt” just falls so short.”

Well, we could spell it with the KH-unt. That would fit her perfectly.

RoscoePColtraine June 2, 2010 at 12:31 pm

I don’t know which of her contentions is more stupid. The one about how drilling on-shore couldn’t possibly create an environmental catastrophe, or the claim that drilling in ANWR would literally solve all America’s energy problems. That’s what I’m “getting.”

momus June 2, 2010 at 12:33 pm

Recall what happened the last time the yahoos took control? Their gift to a grateful nation was prohibition (and the income tax to replace the lost alcohol revenues)! This earlier generation of religious conservatives and small town losers convinced the US Congress and state legislatures to pass the 19th amendment in much the same way tea baggers operate today. The 19th amendment has been to only one to curtail citizens rights, and the only one repealed, it also provided the basis for organized crime.

New slogan: “Sarah Palin, Not Here, Not Ever”

Neilist June 2, 2010 at 12:43 pm

[re=589133]Katydid[/re]: [re=589119]smitallica[/re]:

What about “Cuntagogue”?

(Neilist, you MAGNIFICENT Bastard! You’ve done it AGAIN!)

groove June 2, 2010 at 12:47 pm

Wait, she meant onshore drilling? Fuck me! I would have totally voted for McCain had I known she meant onshore.

An Outhouse June 2, 2010 at 1:09 pm

What is that fish smell? Does anyone else smell it?

Abou Diaby June 2, 2010 at 1:16 pm

[re=589166]sham69[/re]:

Aggressively dumb?

Jim89048 June 2, 2010 at 1:20 pm

I dropped my drill baby into my FryDaddy.
It was delicious.

problemwithcaring June 2, 2010 at 1:23 pm

Is Now do you get it, the new Does it to you?

Dolmance June 2, 2010 at 1:25 pm

That cunt.

Buttery1000 June 2, 2010 at 1:25 pm

And I thought SP couldn’t sound any dumber.

lukewarm June 2, 2010 at 1:29 pm

[re=589213]doxastic[/re]: That’s actually how the Dunning-Kruger effect works: the less competent you are, the more competent you think you are. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunning_kruger_effect

Prommie June 2, 2010 at 1:34 pm

[re=589415]lukewarm[/re]: Dunning-Kruger-Cunt? Now do you get it?

nappyduggs June 2, 2010 at 1:44 pm

Christ, how does she not exhaust herself? In three sentences or less this bitch causes normal people to tap out. Extreeeeme Greeeeeen Ballooooooons!!!1!!1

comicbookguy June 2, 2010 at 1:45 pm

I’m a moderate greenie, in that I’m only against ruining more than 50% of America’s coastline for oil. Anything less than that is fine.

Okay, you caught me, I’m an extreme greenie. If I were a true moderate, I would coat the entire country with oil, but stop short of a nuclear meltdown (unless accidents happen, which would be okay).

steverino247 June 2, 2010 at 1:57 pm

[re=589146]Katydid[/re]: I don’t know. This one was pretty good:

Palinfuck:

Just as you’re about to mercilessly dog your cum in her, you yell out “Who’s the maverick?” She may be mute with confusion or respond, “I am”. Then you donkey punch her, pull out and while squirting all over her ass you proclaim “No! I’m the maverick!”

[re=589346]Neilist[/re]: Cuntagogue? I like it!

However, is there any term more derogatory than just calling her Sarah Palin? That name should join the (in)famous Seven Words you can never saw on TV. You know, that might make me want to watch cable news again if you couldn’t say “Sarah Palin” on TV because it was considered obscene.

iantenna June 2, 2010 at 2:11 pm

remember that day when google was celebrating an anniversary or some such something or other and you could google like it was 1999 again and your search would bring back a bunch of blingee’d geocities sites and shit? well, if you typed in “sarah palin” your search results were exactly ZERO. can we go back to that day again, and forever, please?

gurukalehuru June 2, 2010 at 2:13 pm

Extreme Greenies! That’s what’ll fix that plug. Sarah, you’re a fucking genius.

Tom the Bunny June 2, 2010 at 3:19 pm

And now this: Sarah Palin backs Murkowski primary opponent: http://voices.washingtonpost.com/thefix/senate/sarah-palin-backs-murkowski-pr.html

Zorg June 2, 2010 at 3:23 pm

Let’s see. The people upset by the BP oil spill are “extreme greenies?” And “Drill, Baby, Drill” is about onshore wells? And ANWR drilling would be onshore? And, BP was going to be the subject of a criminal investigation by the Bush justice department for onshore spills and general malfeasance in Alaska until Cheney blocked the investigation? Oh, never mind. Sarah world is a place unto itself. As the Bard of Avon wrote of Cleopatra,
“Age cannot wither her, nor custom stale
Her infinite variety: other women cloy
The appetites they feed: but she makes hungry
Where most she satisfies; for vilest things
Become themselves in her: that the holy priests
Bless her when she is riggish.”

EdFlinstone June 2, 2010 at 3:29 pm

Who knew that a 6 month stint, then quitting, on an Alaskan energy commision qualifies one as an “energy expert”, after being a small town mayor. Please Sarah, do what you do best, and quit. As for her new name I like Quint, half cunt, half quit.

Diamante June 2, 2010 at 4:04 pm

This woman gets more and more irritating and offensive with each Tweet, and I’m not even an “Extreme Greenie.”

chascates June 2, 2010 at 4:09 pm

Greta Van Susteren asked Sarah if we should continue drilling offshore even before we figure out what went wrong with the BP well and she replied:
“Absolutely. There is that inherent link between our own domestic energy supplies, production of, and our own security and prosperity and our own freedom in America.

Roach June 2, 2010 at 4:22 pm

[re=589654]chascates[/re]: That’s a typo right, right? That doesn’t make any sense whatsoever!

keepinitrealyo June 2, 2010 at 4:41 pm

Three-word slogan too short? Elucidate on twitter!

Palin is minimalist.

FlipOffResearch June 2, 2010 at 6:06 pm

[re=589119]smitallica[/re]: I would like to propose a new handle for Palin: the Tea Hag

Rotundo June 2, 2010 at 6:25 pm

I keep hoping that her 15 minutes will be up. I have been hoping for a couple of years now. Unfortunately for the world, she’s in good physical shape, has made a good couple of years’ living off this sort of shit, has an unlimited capacity for being an ignorant, stupid, mean-spirited ass, and has shown no signs of wanting to return to the simple life. If only she could drink herself to death like Tailgunner Joe did, or waste away like Roy Cohn. No such fucking luck.

MsQuasimodo June 2, 2010 at 9:23 pm

[re=589384]An Outhouse[/re]: That fishy smell is bacterial vaginosis coming from Sarah Palin’s cunt. She douches with the oil-mixed-with-Gulf-water sludge mixed with dead marine life body parts. It is used as anal lube, too, by politicians owned by Big Oil. If there can exist “santorum,” there must be a name out there waiting for this unholy oily mess.

Veritas78 June 2, 2010 at 10:00 pm

First, they did not drill in ANWR because it could have wrecked the place.

Then, they drilled in the Gulf and it wrecked the place.

Then, they blamed me because they wrecked the place.

CanadianBacon June 2, 2010 at 11:28 pm

Stupid extreme greenies, don’t you realize that if drilling was allowed in ANWR there would be no need to ever drill anywhere else ever again. But then that would mean everyone involved in oil exploration would be out of a job, oh no my head hurts. If only I had Sarah’s gift of seeing through the contradictions.

vag June 2, 2010 at 11:38 pm

If we just had listened to Sarah everything that is happening would still be happening plus we’d be able to put oil on animals thousands of miles away, also.

lulzmonger June 3, 2010 at 12:11 am

ANWR would take a whole 2-3 cents (best-case scenario) off the price of a gallon of jalopy-juice, that is, for 25 years or so … until it ran out. Normal market flux could wipe that price-drop out overnight, & permanently. The drilling & pipeline alone would be a minor disaster in a pristine wilderness area – a major spill &/or oil-fire there would be a real-life horror-story. Meanwhile, your economy will continue to be at the mercy of OPEC for as long as you keep basing it on distilled brontosaurus-shit – indefinitely.

Now do YOU get it, you microcephalic bitch?

Sarahcuda Palin = teh Pol Poot of her very own Khmer Rogue.

zhubajie June 3, 2010 at 5:40 am

Does she know what “safe” is?[re=589134]JMP[/re]: It’s not as if most wingnuts produce their own food. Poisoned fish, shrimp, clams, don’t sound like part of the economy to them.

zhubajie June 3, 2010 at 5:57 am

[re=589188]McDuff[/re]: Her history teacher was probably also the basketball coach, so she probably knows everything about the history of basketball.

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